Work Text:
Normally, Tsunade liked spending her free time in the hospital library. Her superiors and peers seemed to think she was some kind of genius, but they didn’t seem to realize that her success wasn’t a matter of genius, but due to having a good eye, the ability to make creative connections, and a knowledge of medicine second to none. The answers were all there, buried somewhere in the quiet, dusty library filled with the notes and treatises of her predecessors.
Well, it was normally quiet.
“What are you reading now?” asked Jiraiya, for perhaps the twentieth time.
Annoyed at Jiraiya’s incessant talking, Tsunade clamped a hand over each of her ears. It helped, slightly, and his voice faded to an unintelligible garble. Unfortunately, that meant she couldn’t take notes.
When she chanced taking a hand off to scribble down a particularly key line from the ancient text in front of her, she was met with Jiraiya talking mid-stream: “... said that I was peeking in on her, but she had been checking me out for the past hour so...”
“Shut up!” Tsunade snapped.
“What?” asked Jiraiya, as though he didn’t well know how much he was bothering her.
“No, not ‘what’. Stop talking. I’m trying to get some work done,” said Tsunade.
Jiraiya rolled his eyes, but closed his mouth. Tsunade was relieved and went back to taking notes. However, not long after, he started tapping his foot on the floor, which was soon was joined by a drumming of his fingers against the table. When he started clicking his tongue, Tsunade had enough.
“Can you just be quiet? No talking, no annoying noises, just be silent for the next hour or leave,” she yelled.
“I’ll do it if you do it too,” replied Jiraiya.
“What? Fine, whatever,” said Tsunade and started writing again.
Her pen scritched against her notebook.
“I win,” announced Jiraiya. When Tsunade just stared at him, he said, “If I have to be absolutely silent, then so do you.”
“Do you really think you can be quieter than I can? Loser has to buy dinner,” said Tsunade.
“Fine,” said Jiraiya, and then there was a blissful silence.
Tsunade slipped a hand into her cloth bag and pulled out a favorite pen that left a trail of ink as smooth as silk. She took notes, gently unrolled the scroll when necessary, and marveled at how quiet Jiraiya could be. Soon, she was engrossed with her work, which unfortunately for her, meant she didn’t pay attention to Jiraya.
Five minutes later, she felt a blob of something slimy lightly placed on top of her head. Mud dripped down along her cheeks and hair, and she wanted to scream at him. Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep (and soundless) breath in and slowly exhaled.
She stood up, smiled at him, and then reached out her hands. Punching him would make a noise (oh, for the delicious crunch of Jiraiya’s bones!), but strangling him would be silent enough.