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we just don't realize (that we're living on borrowed time)

Summary:

“What is it?” Ava scrunches her nose in confusion. “Do I have something on my face?”

Sara laughs lightly, grabbing her hand. “No, no. I just- I’m really glad I can see your face again. Haven’t had much time to fully process it until now. I love your face, I- I love you.”

“You just said that a few minutes ago,” Ava beams, squeezing Sara’s hand.

“I know, but remember what I said at prom? You’re my final girl. I mean that.”

“I mean it too.”

or

Sara is just really glad that she can see Ava's face again, and Ava could not possible love her any more.

Notes:

i'm really not much of a writer but nonetheless i hope you guys enjoy! I read a fic with a concept like this and thought "wow this could really apply to avalance since sara got saranapped!" and now we're here, so you're welcome.

fic title from "pretend it's ok" by little mix

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Sara stares at Ava from across the table, trying to find the right words to say. This year alone they had been put through so much together, she had put her through so much, and this was not the stressful experience Ava deserved to have during her first year as a true Legend. 

She sighs, looking Ava in the eye. “So this year, it’s- it’s been a lot for me, losing Oliver and getting my dad back and… losing my sight and having powers and seeing the world end and it- it was a lot for me to handle. At the same time I know it was a lot for you too.” She watches as Ava looks at her with more concern. “And I feel like I should’ve been there more instead of just bringing a bunch of kids into your life, and I’m sorry-”

“Stop. Stop, stop, stop. I love… everything you bring in my life. All of it. All the time.”

Sara’s heart swells, the way it does anytime Ava tells her she loves her. “I love you.”

“I love you.”

She laughs a little to herself, noting the irony of their soft words in the middle of an over the top, rambunctious crowd. “It’s not very punk rock of us.”

Later, when they’re dancing in the middle of the crowd, Sara takes another moment to really take all of Ava in. It’d really been too long since she had seen her face, and now that they finally had their moment to breathe, she had the time to truly admire the beauty that was her incredible girlfriend.

“What is it?” Ava scrunches her nose in confusion. “Do I have something on my face?”

Sara laughs lightly, grabbing her hand. “No, no. I just- I’m really glad I can see your face again. Haven’t had much time to fully process it until now. I- I love your face, I love you.”

“You just said that a few minutes ago,” Ava beams, squeezing Sara’s hand.

“I know, but remember what I said at prom? You’re my final girl. I mean that.”

“I mean it too.”

Ava’s smile really is beautiful.



It’s the last thing Sara pictures in her head before she finally succumbs to the darkness, deep in outer space. If she’s gonna go out, she’s not gonna go out with that ugly alien’s face as the last image on her mind.

 

-

 

Zari Tarazi is always the first person to get up in the morning. She does have a beauty routine to maintain after all, even if they rarely leave the ship these days unless it’s to follow up on new leads.

“Miss Tarazi, I believe there is an urgent message for the Legends on the bridge.” Something about Gideon’s voice is off, almost as if she’s worried.

Zari looks curiously at the ceiling. “Everything okay, Gidget?”

“It’s the aliens that took Captain Lance. They left a message.”

 

-

 

Ava knows something’s off the moment she steps onto the bridge. She’s normally up much earlier, but the many nights of staying up and searching for Sara had finally taken a toll on her, and she was the last one there this morning. They’ve spent months searching for Sara, so the grief has always been a constant, but this is different. It’s as if the air weighs more, and it’s settled onto her chest. The Legends suddenly go quiet upon her arrival, and she can't bring herself to look up.

Before she can bring herself to address her team, she hears Zari’s voice. “Ava… there’s something we need to tell you.”

Ava finally looks up, staring straight at Zari. There's something in Zari's stare that Ava can't bring herself to acknowledge, but she refuses to look at anyone else. She knows that if she does, and sees a look there that she doesn’t want to see, that’ll be her breaking point.

“I think maybe you should sit down.”

No. 

“Ava, I really think-”

“I was in the library last night! Gideon and I worked on creating some new algorithms that can help us locate Sara.” Her words come out in one breath, desperate and raspy. “I think we managed to get a lock on a few promising leads.”

Ava.” Nate’s voice cracks. “Ava, please just-”

But she can’t stop talking. She knows if she does then all hope will be lost. And she needs that hope, needs something to hold onto, even if it's just a sliver. For Sara. For herself. Words continue to spew from her mouth at lightning speed. “There’s a particular galaxy we haven’t looked into yet. Gideon hypothesizes there are at least three planets there that have sentient life. We should take the ship there, check out the-”

“Ava.” Mick’s voice is firm, settling deep in her stomach. He rarely ever calls her by her first name.

Her voice is barely a whisper. “Please stop interrupting me. I’m trying to-”

Mick’s voice comes out gruffer than usual. “Listen-”

“Exo-Planet 212. Our best bet is to-”

I love everything you bring in my life.

“Sara, she’s-”

You're my final girl.

Ava is gone before he finishes his sentence.

 

-

 

Ava doesn’t cry when she tells Quentin Lance his daughter is dead. She needs to be strong for him. She doesn’t cry when they bury an empty casket. She doesn’t want their pity.

It isn’t until the clock hits midnight and she knows that everyone is asleep, that Ava takes the jump ship back to the graveyard.

The fresh soil over Sara’s empty casket mocks her. Ava kneels down by it anyway and stares at the headstone, finally allowing herself to read the words.

Sara Lance

Sister. Daughter. Captain. A hero to all.

But not wife. 

All of a sudden, the ring in Ava’s pocket weighs too heavy. She takes it out carefully, burying it into the soil right beside Sara’s gravestone, gently patting the spot above to make sure it stays.

Then Ava cries, letting her tears fall until there is nothing left.

Notes:

um... sorry? but also not really :) also you can find me on twitter if you want to come yell at me there @chronocanary