Chapter Text
It was a couple of weeks after Beth’s win in Russia and Benny was still thinking about her. He had seen her once since, when her flight landed in NYC before she went on to Kentucky again.
They had just behaved like friends, hugging, but not kissing and it hadn’t been as uncomfortable as the conversations they had had prior. She had thanked him sincerely and there wasn’t really any bad blood. But since then he had thought about the night after she beat him at speed chess and the weeks after more than he cared to admit. He lay in bed wide awake at night thinking about those following nights, the taste of her lips and the smell of her perfume. He really couldn’t have missed her more. He longed for her. He longed to just to get to see her, he was at a point where it didn’t really matter if she wanted him back because he would pine for her eternally anyway. He couldn’t wait to just see her face again. He imagined all the dates they could go on and the sweet couple moments they could have if he just figured out how to get her back. He thought about her body, her lips, he couldn’t stop dreaming about her wherever he went and whatever he saw. There was always the dominating wish to just get her back somehow, even if it was just for a day and it left a big scar, he just had to hug her again. Feel her curves, hold her. In the evenings, he would listen to Peggy Lee and one tune in particular made him somehow think of Beth.
Never know how much I love you
Never know how much I care
When you put your arms around me
I get a fever that's so hard to bear
You give me fever when you kiss me
Fever when you hold me tight
Fever in the morning
Fever all through the night
It was just too accurate for him not to think about her when he heard it. He also had a single for Stop Your Sobbing by The Kinks, but even though it reminded him of the car ride they took before he started training her, he found the lyrics a bit apathetic, plus he was too lazy to change the records, so he just listened to Things Are Swingin’ a bunch.
He was insecure about the music. He didn’t think Beth was as invested in this all as he was. He just couldn’t know if this feeling flowed both ways. There was always the possibility of her being in a relationship he didn’t know about. Or having just come out of one and not being ready. Or plainly, not liking him back.
The more excited he was when in one of their casual, platonic, no ulterior motives, just keeping up with a good friend really, phone calls she revealed she had apparently had at least some of the same thoughts.
“I’ve been thinking about you, Benny,” she admitted. “About us, about those weeks before Paris... I’m just gonna be honest about it and say that I miss it. How we were then. It was nice.” He felt his cheeks getting hotter as she said it.
“You can come here if you want. Please do. We’ll continue right where we left off...before Paris. We can talk it out another time, just please come,” was his overly urging answer; He just really wanted her to come.
And come she did. She took the next flight, the afternoon of the following day. When she arrived, she immediately fell into Benny’s arms, he was too desperate to kiss her to wait, so it just happened at the airport, right then and there. She let her suitcase fall to their feet and when they’re lips touched, for a short moment he felt transported back to the year prior.
It felt good. Even better than he remembered. He was over the moon to have her back. To have her just to himself for at least the next few days. He was enjoying walking beside her and holding her hand way too much. But when a paparazzo appeared from a side street as they were stepping out of the airport, Beth let go of his hand. As they walked along the streets, even more of them appeared. Benny noticed how she lost some of the ease she had had only a minute ago. She pulled her shoulders higher and picked up some speed. He could imagine what her last weeks must have been like, being followed by someone with a camera wherever she went. When they started coming nearer and yelling questions like: “Why are you meeting up? Are you in a relationship?” or “Is it true that you had Vodka in your water glass during the games?”, she grabbed his arm and he tried his best to protect her from the cameras. They somehow made it to his apartment by running and taking some smart detours to bypass getting even more attention on the more crowded roads. He let her go down the stairs first and followed close behind.
As they were sitting down playing chess a few hours later, Benny couldn’t stop smiling to himself because he was so happy when he looked at her. She looked even better than in those weeks. She just glowed since her win. She drove him crazy when she talked. There was really no better position he could imagine himself being in than across from Beth, between them only the chess board in the dim light of his apartment. Except a certain position in his bedroom of course, but he wasn’t thinking of that yet.
“So, what exactly have you been doing in Kentucky alone in the house?” he asked.
“Well, the first thing I did after giving all those interviews was to pay Jolene back her money of course.” When he looked a bit confused, she explained: “Jolene, my friend from the orphanage I was at. She gave it to me after I had declined the Christian Crusade money and you didn’t wanna come. Then I threw away all that alcohol I still had stored in the cupboards and all. After that I just kind of relaxed and enjoyed my free-time. The first in a long time without drinking. It was weird being alone. You know, truly alone, without the alcohol or pills to accompany me or a match to think about. Just alone. I went shopping and really cooked for the first time. It was-”
“Pills?” Benny interrupted her.
“Yes, I’ve taken them on and off since I was nine. Tranquillisers. I used to take them before games to dull my mind to just focus on the board,” she answered as if it wasn’t a big deal. And to her it maybe wasn’t any more. He was shocked though:
“Since you were nine?!”
“They forced us to at the orphanage, vitamins they called them. I couldn’t really get off the habit afterwards. I stole them from my mother when they were prescribed to her.”After seeing the look on his face, she added: “Don’t worry, they’re all gone now, flushed down the toilet. And I’ve realised I don’t need them to win. Now, please, would you make your move, Benny?”
Still stunned, he looked down at the board again and moved his rook. They played on in silence.
When Beth had beat him the third time in a row, she suggested making dinner since the sun had gone down for at least an hour. The first thing they did after getting up, though, was to fall back into each other’s arms and kiss. He relished every moment of it, his hands feeling their way around the curve of her back and staying right there at her waist, when she pulled away, still holding onto him and sending a bright smile to him.
“I did miss you a fucking lot, Benny.”
“Me too, Beth, me too,” he answered before they went back to kissing.
After they had somehow pulled apart, they had a humble dinner of omelet and toast. He hadn’t really thought of getting something better before. It was still nice, though, everything was nice with her. Needless to say, their clothes didn’t stay on for long into the night and all of it felt just as good as that first time when their friends had come around.
The next morning he woke up to her, still intertwined with him, breathing calmly and with a steady rhythm, wearing nothing but one of his floral robes. Since he didn’t want to wake her up, he just stayed there, admiring how the sunlight bounced off of her features. Everything about her was beautiful and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. It was crazy to even think, but maybe he actually loved her.