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Falling in love can be so scary, especially when you don't know what is going on in the other person's head. Will they love you back? Will they make fun of you? Are they planning to use you and torture you? Do they want to eat you alive?
Just like a praying mantis kills her partner after mating, you never know if the person you love is planning to do the same after confessing your undying love. Yet, this feeling consumes you and doesn't let you sleep because the one thought circling your mind will always return to someone else.
"Hi! Uhm, my friend is shy, but she wanted to know if you guys are a couple? Because you two look so good together!"
"Haha, thanks. But no, we're just friends, actually."
"Aw. Really? But we just saw you walking and holding hands."
"Oh yeah! My hand is a little cold so he was helping me keep it warm. But no, we're not a couple."
"Aww... I didn't know friends did that."
"Well, now you do."
Park Jongseong, a.k.a. Jay, was one of those guys you would expect to be rude at first glance. His words might say he was okay, but his brown eyes would shoot lasers at you if you stared for too long. Rumor has it that once you get to meet him he is nice and funny, but beware if you approach him with any other intentions for his instincts will immediately kick in and kick you out.
"Jungwon-ah, ready to go?"
"Yes hyung. I found the book I was searching for."
Yang Jungwon, a.k.a. Ace, was the innocent and angelical type of guy who at first glance you'd think he is sweet and caring towards just about anyone. Always polite and well-mannered, his smile would say his glad to have you here but his words would definitely be if you'd die no one would miss you. It was no secret that the beautiful porcelain prince was in fact the most threatening person in campus, who could bring down anyone with words or fists.
"And by the way, tell your friend Jay hyung doesn't like nosy girls who don't know how to mind their own business. Let's go hyung."
The air outside the library was still cold enough to make Jay shiver through his thick layers of coats. Jungwon noticed and laughed at his friend who was freezing to death. He immediately grabbed his hand and started walking home. It was not unusual for them to walk this way, whatever the reason may be.
Even though they didn't live together, most of their time would be together. This time they decided to stay at Jungwon's house as it was closer to their campus. On their way there they had bought some ingredients to make dinner just like they did every day.
"Alright, while I make dinner why don't you go ahead and take a shower?" Jay said.
"Actually, hyung, the water bill has been going up lately. Do you mind if we shower together?" Jungwon asked. He was taking out the groceries and putting them away like Jay had taught him.
"Sure. Do you want to go now or should I leave dinner ready?"
"You know what? On second thought, since we're going in together we could probably take a bath."
"Cool. That'd be okay too."
"Okay, I'll go get the bath ready while you prep the meal. Alright, hyung?"
"Gotcha."
Luckily for Jungwon, his friend was a really good cook. Even if he wasn't chef material, he was at least better than many of those influencer chefs from social media.
While getting the bath ready Jungwon kept thinking how great would Jay look having his own cooking show for WeTube. Although he lacked the charisma to attract many viewers immediately. But, he sure was very handsome and cool.
While bathing together all Jungwon could talk about was helping Jay set up his own cooking show. He could become really famous and rich and then he could buy a better place with a bigger kitchen where they could move in together. Just the two of them.
Jungwon was the first one to finish drying up and out to search for some clothes for both of them.
"Ah, Jungwon-ah, I didn't know you were going to make dinner. I just brought some pizza from that place you like so much."
"Oh, Heeseung-hyung you're home! Actually, I didn't make dinner."
"Then who did...?"
Lee Heeseung, a.k.a. the former Ace. A recent graduate from their university, known to be amazing and highly skilled at everything. Everyone loves his calm personality and sincere heart, always willing to help others even if it meant giving up time for himself. Also, Jungwon's older half-brother who he has lived with since they were children until now.
"Oh, hi Heeseung-hyung. By the way, dinner's ready so if you want you can eat as much as you can handle," Jay said while grabbing the clothes Jungwon was giving him.
"Jay? You're here? Wait! Where did you come from?"
"Oh, Jay-hyung and I were just taking a bath together."
"To-together? Two... bath... together... you... bath... together... bathed... two... you... Jay... together..." Heeseung said. "Uhm, Jungwon-ah, is there anything you wanna tell me?"
"Umm... Oh yeah! I found the book I was looking for, so you don't need to ask Sunghoon-hyung for it anymore. Thanks anyway."
Jungwon was very nonchalant when facing several questions about his relationship with Jay. Up to some point they started to get annoying how everyone questioned their friendship. Just because others had ludicrous ideas of how friends should be didn't mean they could impose their thoughts on them.
So what if they just bathed together? It's not like it means anything other than saving water while sharing a pleasant time together talking and relaxing. He expected his hyung to know better.
"You know what? Never mind. I'll just go ahead and take a shower, I'm too tired for this," Heeseung said while rubbing his temples. "Jay, wanna come and take a shower with me?"
"Why would he? He just took a bath with me you freak. Go and shower alone you pervert," Jungwon said frowning and throwing a towel at his brother.
Meanwhile, Jay was unaware of the whole conversation going on near him as he was plating food for him and Jungwon. He made sure to put less vegetables and more meat on the younger's plate as Jungwon would usually grab some of his and put it on Jay's plate and then have less to eat. Jay didn't like that Jungwon ate less because of him.
As always the food was delicious and after being done they would clean up their dishes and go study together before falling asleep on the same bed. For at least a couple years they had gotten used to sleeping together like this, with Jungwon resting his head on Jay's chest and Jay carressing his head. It felt nice.
The next morning, they woke up before their alarms even went off. Two early birds getting ready for the day to come. Jay was the one with morning classes, but Jungwon took the time to go exercise outside before going to his taekwondo lessons. He was on his way to get his ee dan rank, so he would mentor younger students in the afternoon in-between classes.
Heeseung wasn't much of a morning person, instead he'd prefer to sleep all day if he could. But the smell of breakfast was too strong that he knew if he didn't wake up in time he'd miss it. He could still go to sleep after he finished eating anyway.
"Alright, I'm off to my class. I'll come pick you up later," Jay said. He stood up and picked his bag.
"Okay. By the way my class will be in 6A instead of 3B just for today."
"Thanks for telling me."
"Wait, hyung, let me fix your hair." Jungwon stood up and started combing Jay's hair with his hands. Jay couldn't help but stare into Jungwon's eyes and think about how cute he looked focusing so much in making him look good.
"Thank you. I'll see you later, okay?" Jay leaned forward and kissed Jungwon's lips. A few seconds passed before he stepped away and waved goodbye from the door. Jungwon lingered there, spaced out, for a few seconds before going back to the table to finish his breakfast.
"So... Jungwon-ah, are you sure there's nothing you wanna tell me? Like, why Jay just kissed you in the mouth? Are you two dating or something?" Heeseung asked while chewing.
"Gosh, hyung, why do you have to make it weird? It was just a kiss, we do that everytime. We're just friends, okay?"
"I didn't know friends kissed each other on the mouth. I don't kiss my friends like that. Do you kiss Sunoo-ah or Ni-ki-ah on the mouth as well?"
"Gross, no! It's different."
"How?"
"It's just different, hyung! Stop making it weird! I've told you a million times. Jay-hyung and I are just friends!"
"Like, friends with benefits or something?"
"You know what? You're disgusting. I'm calling mom."
"Jungwon, come on! You really are trying to convince me that you and Jay are just friends, or are you trying to convince yourself? Because, in my opinion, it's starting to get out of hand. One of you could end up seriously hurt."
"Hurt over what, hyung? Look, everyone keeps asking us the same thing over and over and our answer is always the same. It's just a thing we do, it doesn't mean anything anyway. Besides, if I already do all that that makes you think we're dating, why would I deny it anyway? If I was dating Jay-hyung do you think I would keep it a secret while doing everything so publicly? Come on! Give me a break! In fact, why don't you call him yourself and ask him if you're so desperate to know. Go ahead!"
Heeseunt lifted an eyebrow and took out his phone. He was slightly annoyed by his brother's bratty attitude and how he crossed his arms as if he had just won a discussion. It annoyed him to the core.
"Hyung? What's up?" Jay picked up the call. Heeseung proceeded to put on the speakerphone so Jungwon could hear it. He was convinced Jay would say something different, be more honest or something at least if he didn't know the younger was listening. After all, they shared everything together and kept no secrets between each other.
"Jay-ah, I wanted to ask, do you have any feelings for my brother?"
"Ah? For Jungwon-ah? Why all of a sudden?" Jungwon stuck out his tongue hearing some victory melody playing in his head. Heeseung rolled his eyes waiting for the answer. "Well, of course! I love him a lot, hyung! Isn't it obvious?"
Jungwon's heart crashed to the ground, the beating increased and stopped at the same time. His hands twitching not knowing where to place them, and his face turning getting tinted by red streams. Heeseung's smirked was less than helpful now that he felt shortness of breath for the first time ever, with each second passing by feeling like a thousand years of torture. What was even going on?
"I love him so much like my little brother, hyung. You know I'm a single child, so with Jungwon I just want to take care of him like my own sibling. Why do you ask?"
And then the beating stopped. Time froze. For a split second the whole room turned pitch black and there was no air around him. His hands trembled, his mouth felt dry but there was no water near. The walls crumbling down, rain pouring indide the roofless room and the floor cracking up ready to swallow him whole.
"Actually, hyung, remember K-hyung? We're going out this Saturday. I was on the fence if going out with him or not, but I thought I'd give it a chance. He's a great guy anyways. By the way can you give me some tips? It's my first time dating someone so I don't know what to do or what to wear. I mean, I know what to wear, I just don't know which outfit to pick."
"Uhm... does Jungwon-ah know about this?""No, why? I was planning on telling him when I picked him up later. K-hyung asked me just now so it's pretty recent anyways. Oh, the bus is here. Got to go."
And he hung up. Heeseung stared at his brother. Jungwon stared at the phone.
"Jungwon-ah, are you okay?"
It took him a couple of minutes to understand his brother's question. It took him a couple more to realize he hadn't answered yet.
"Yeah, why? See? I told you, we're... we're just friends. There's nothing to worry about, hyung. Oh! By the way, is there any leftover pizza? Right! We put it in the fridge. Right. Haha! I forgot! Yumm! Cold pizza is my favorite sometimes! This is so good. Want some? So good! Oh, right! I have to get ready for... for..."
"Jungwon-ah, you can tell me if you're not okay."
"What do you mean? Why would I not be okay? I'm so, so happy that Jay-hyung is going out on a date. He'll tell me later so I need to act surprised. God, this pizza is so good! Are you sure you don't want some? Oh, right! I need to call Sunoo because he wanted to have lunch with me. Right, I forgot. Oh, and did you know Sunoo and Ni-Ki started going out as well? Isn't that great? If everything goes well for both of them then that means Jay and Sunoo might end up being in-law relatives! Isn't that freaking fantastic? Isn't that just wonderful? I'm so, so happy for all of them!"
"Jungwon-ah! It's okay if you're-"
"I said I'm fine! I told you we're just friends but you keep pushing this stupid agenda of yours in which even if he tells you he's dating someone you still want to believe he likes me, don't you? You know... I'm starting to think maybe you're the one who's jealous! Yeah, I think you're the one who likes Jay-hyung, don't you? Then if you like him why don't you just go ahead and tell him you're freaking in love with him and stop pushing it down my throat! I told you I'm fine so leave me alone!"
Jungwon slammed the door to his room leaving Heeseung staring at the empty seat, regretting what he had just done. He hated being wrong, but this is the one time he hated the most being wrong. This is the one time he was silently pleading to be right. Unfortunately, he wasn't. And he lost apetite as well, just quietly watching his younger brother leave the house in a rush stomping each step and slamming every door.
“Jungwon-ah? I’m outside your classroom, where are you?”
“Oh, Jay-hyung. Sorry, I didn’t go to class today. I’m with Sunoo right now.”
“Hi Jay-hyung! Ni-Ki just told me the good news! If everything goes well we should double date! You and K-hyung, and Ni-Ki and I!”
“Oh, Sunoo, hi. Uhm, I’m sorry, can you give us a minute?”
“Sure! Bye, Jay-hyung!”
“Jungwon-ah?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, I wanted to tell you in person and-“
“Tell me what? You don’t need to tell me anything anyways. We’re just friends, remember?”
“Right. But still I-“
“Oh, the movie is about to begin. I need to go now. See you next week, hyung. Bye!”
“Next week?” But Jungwon had already hung up.
He felt a tug in his chest, a different kind of pain he had never experienced before. Maybe, perhaps, just once, when he was a child hiding his school grades from his parents for failing two subjects in school. Or like that other time when he used his mom’s credit card to purchase a expensive loot pack from a video game. He stared at the bag of snacks he was holding not knowing what to do next. Not knowing what he did just now. Or what just happened. Just plainly absorbed in his confusion not noticing his friend had been sitting next to him for a while waiting for him to respond.
“You okay?” his friend asked.
“Oh, Kai, didn’t see you there, sorry.”
“Yeah, I noticed. Now answer me, are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. Yes, I’m fine.”
“You’re fine? Are you trolling right now or do you seriously not notice your face covered in tears?”
“My what-?”
Jay wiped his eyes and realized his face was swollen and his eyes were wet. He didn’t know where this water came from and for a second he questioned if Kai had pulled a prank and splashed something onto his face. It took him a couple minutes to come to terms with the fact that he had been silently crying for a while now. He took out his phone and saw that it was already 11:20 PM and he had been there for more than a few hours. His stomach grumbled, his bladder hurt, and he was feeling thirsty.
“Soobin-hyung is waiting for us in his car. Have you gone to the bathroom or something? There’s one nearby, it should still be open. I’ll wait for you outside, come on.”
Kai grabbed Jay by the arm and helped him up. Jay was crippling in pain because his legs had fallen asleep for lack of movement. This pain was bearable, though, unlike the one he was feeling in his chest which frightened him the most. The one that made him feel like his heart had stopped beating altogether.
When they got to the car and were driving to Soobin’s apartment, Jay could hear his friends talking in the front seat but he didn’t understand a word they were saying. So he just stared out the window wondering why he felt so empty inside. For a while he forgot his friends weren’t taking him to his house, instead they were going to their apartment.
Once they arrived he saw some food in front of him but forgot he had to eat it. So he just stared at it watching it decompose in front of him. It smelled rancid, disgusting, nothing he would ever eat or maybe not now because he wasn’t hungry. He had no apetite. He wanted to throw up, but he didn’t feel anything he had to throw up. He wanted to sleep but at the same time he was afraid of falling asleep.
“Hyung, I don’t know what to do. I’m getting worried. Should we call a doctor?” Kai asked to the man on his side.
Just, maybe a minute or so, later, Jay watched Kai leave through the entrance wondering if he had done anything to push his friend away just like how he pushed Jungwon away.
“Kai went to the convenience store to buy some stuff I asked him to,” Soobin said. Jay might have mouthed something accidentally. “Meanwhile, do you care to tell me what’s going on? I’ve been waiting for you two for a couple of hours since he called me and you’re not eating, we’re getting really worried. Please, tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s just… I think I screwed up, hyung.”
“Okay. You think you screwed up. So does that mean you’re not sure?”
“No! I mean, I’m sure I screwed up! I screwed up big time and now he doesn’t want to talk to me! He hasn’t messaged me all day and he hung up! He hung up on me!”
“Okay. Okay. So you screwed up and now he’s angry at you is that what you’re saying?”
Jay nodded.
Choi Soobin, a.k.a. the Empathetic Prince, was the person who would help out anyone who had trouble in their mind or conflict in their heart. He was very well-known in their campus for being one of the most honest guys to ever step there. Not to mention he had made the most astounding love confessions ever in front of everyone, some of which went viral because he was always unafraid to tell the world he was in love with an angel.
“I thought he didn’t like me like that. I mean… I was sure he didn’t. I mean… I’m sure he doesn’t! So why is he behaving like that?! I don’t get it! Is he sending me mixed signals! I can’t figure it out! I’m just so- URGH!!!”
“He sounds very… urgh.”
“Right?! You get me! Because he’s just like- UGH! And then whenever we- GAH! But he never- GRRR!”
“He never grrrs?”
“No he never! And you know what’s even more infuriating?”
“Tell me.”
“He’s just– You know!”
“Oh, I know. He really is.”
“Right?! So do you agree with me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Thanks-“
“Not. I don’t agree with you at all, Jongseong-ah.”
“Thank you because I don’t agree with me either.”
It took him a few seconds before he started giggling, and a few more before his gigles turned into full on laughter accompanied by his friend. He was happy to have Soobin there with him, in a way he felt very comfortable telling him his problems knowing he both would and wouldn’t judge him.
“Hyung, I… I don’t know what to do now.”
“Jongseong-ah, here’s the thing. You do in fact know what to do, and deep down you know you should do it. So the question here is, what’s stopping you from doing it?”
“It’s easy for you to say. You’ve known since day one that Kai was in love with you.”
“Kai? In love with me? Okay, listen up. I’m going to tell you the whole story but you cannot EVER bring it up in front of him. Alright?”
“Okay I promise.”
Soobin sighed. He hated how much he loved to tell this story to everyone, but always behind Kai’s back. He knew by experience just how much his boyfriend like to gloat and make fun of how in love he was. And he is.
“It all started the day we first met. Our school was receiving some foreign students, and I was one of the few volunteers that wanted to help them get acquainted with school. I wasn’t expecting to meet someone so tiny and adorable as he was, so as soon as I saw him I immediately went over to hug him and pinch his round cheeks he had back then. Everyone stared at me in disbelief, and yes, I feel incredibly ashamed of how reacted back then but if you had seen just how cute he was you would’ve done the same. Okay, no, yeah, it was embarrassing. But I don’t, or more like I shouldn’t, regret anything…
So, anyways. Kai and I, yeah, we didn’t hit it off right away. He was scared of me. He thought I was a bully or something. I can understand why now, but back then I was so desperate to be friends with him. I wanted nothing else but to have him as my friend, and to be the only friend he had. Flash forward to a month later, the exchange students and us, the volunteers, went on a trip to the amusement park. I don’t want to spoil much, but just know that after that day we became officially friends.
For a long time we would hang out every day non-stop. We would go to the library together, to the movies, to his house to eat, to my house to eat, to anywhere to eat really. We ate a lot, especially together. I’m not sure exactly when I started having some feelings for him, but I can tell you for sure the first time I noticed was when he played the piano for me. There was this song that I loved so much, still do, and I jokingly told him I would die if he played it for me with his piano. Then a couple of months later he actually did. I was so scared and confused of everything because I knew, I absolutely knew, I couldn’t see him as just a friend anymore. But he was two years younger than me so it felt wrong to feel this way about it, so I just stopped hanging out with him as much.
But it failed. We started hanging out even more and more and it got to the point that I would just blush to anything he did or said. I cringe so hard remembering it, but yes. Then, on his 18th birthday, I kid you not, he grabbed my hand and asked me in front of all our friends and family to be his boyfriend. I could literally feel my heart beating so fast I thought I was going to die. He said to me he didn’t want me to look at him like a baby anymore, he wanted to be treated like a man. He wanted to become the right man for me and Jay-ah, I swear, don’t make fun of me, but I literally fainted.
When I woke up the first thing I saw was his face covered in tears and snot, apologizing to me for embarrassing me in front of everyone. But can you imagine the courage it took for a shy boy like him to go up and declare his love in front of everyone he knew? I held his hand and asked him to repeat it once again for me so I could give him my answer. I could feel his heart beating out of his chest but he did it anyway, and I said yes before he even finished. It was one of the best moments in my entire life. And you wanna know which are the other best moments in my entire life?”
“Which ones, hyung?”
“All of them that I get to share with him. And even without him. Just knowing that at the end of the day we’re still one is enough for me. And if you feel the same way about your special one, you should know as well he feels the same way for you. So, now’s when you have to decide wether you’ll take that secret love to your grave or take the next step and tell him how you feel about him.”
“Hyung, how did you-“
“WE ALL FREAKING KNOW, OKAY?” Kai yelled slamming the door to the entrance with several bags dropping to the floor. “We all know, we have all been telling both of you and what’s your response? ‘We’Re JuSt FreNz wAh WaH’. So sick of the two of you.”
Huening Kai Kamal, a.k.a. the Angel Prince, the boy with no evil in his heart. Everyone at campus knows the six princes who grace everyone with their presence. Tall, beautiful, all-around perfect guys ready to conquer the world one smile at the time. But out all of them, Kai was the one people would fawn over without realizing how from a simple crush it turned into an obsession. There was something about him, some sort of aura, that would make anyone immediately fall in love with him. And rumor has it that everyone’s waiting in line, secretly hoping he’ll break-up with his boyfriend and give the plebs a run for their money. Yeah, right, good luck with that.
“Jay, I swear to every god that has ever existed and will exist, you two are the densest couple in this entire world. And I speak on behalf of literally everyone when I say screw both of you.”
“Isn’t he pretty?” Soobin asked, enamoured by just a sniff of his scent. He stood up and picked up the bags, not without stealing a kiss before, and then proceeded to put them in the kitchen counter. “Oh, Jongseong-ah, you need to taste these candies! They’re so good!”
“Jay, you know what’s more infuriating than a lovey-dovey couple? A lovey-dovey couple that pretends they’re not a couple while doing coupley stuff, that’s who! And, do you know anyone like that?”
“I-“
“Yes, exactly. You. You and Won-ah. You and Won-ah are a couple in every way, so I, and everyone else, don’t understand why you two keep denying it. So tell me, please, why do you keep denying it?”
“It’s not just that easy, okay!”
“But why, Jay? Why? I’ve literally seen both of you kiss a bazillion times!”
“Because we’re both scared to death, okay?!”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of what will happen if we accept that we’re in love!”
“Huh?”
“Okay Jeongsong-ah, I have to admit, I’m lost as well. Care to explain?”
Jay sighed. It was his turn to talk it out this time. He knew he’d have to say it out loud some time, but he never knew it would have to be to the two people that represented the whole image of ‘couple goals’. He sighed again and began:
“Okay, what I’m going to say might not sound that big to you, but still valid it is a valid fear, alright? I’m constantly afraid I will not be good enough for him.”
“Pfft!”
“Listen, okay! I’m serious. It’s just, you ever met someone so perfect you’re afraid on day he’ll wake up and realize you’re not good enough so it’s best if he just leaves you for someone better?”
“Nope, can’t say. Sorry.”
“Not at all, if anything he’ll just date worse, can’t get better than this.”
“I swear you two are the worst people…”
“Okay, okay, continue. We’re sorry.”
“We do understand what you’re saying”
“Okay, fine! It’s just... Whenever I look at him I just think he’s so perfect. Seriously, man, like, what the heck? His face, his eyes, his nose, his lips, his eyebrows, his voice, his tiny hands, his tiny feet, his-“
“Okay, we get it!”
“He’s just… Did you know he’s the fastest learner in his dojang? It’s true, he made it to black belt before all of his friends. He works so hard with everything he does. Sometimes I just feel I’m not working hard enough as he does, that I’m wasting my life away and I’m never going to be good enough for him. And so I just want him to be open to find someone better, you know? Someone who’ll push him to be an even better person, if that’s even possible! So, yeah, I just don’t want to be an obstacle in his life when there must be someone better out there for him. I constantly feel guilty that he spends so much time with me that I don’t give him a chance to meet the one who’ll be right for him, y’know?
But at the same time, I feel so possessive. Like, I secretly wish he would just stay with me forever and that if we keep feeding ourselves the lie that we’re just friends he won’t notice that I’m such a failure and won’t ever measure up to him. But I can’t stop feeling scared that he’ll eventually get tired of me and start dating and I’ll just have to accept it and be happy for him, while dying inside knowing that he’ll start moving on. But at least, we’ll still be friends, right? So it’s not like I’m losing him anyways, because we’re just friends.”
“So you’re saying you’d feel heartbroken. Ground-crackingly, wall-meltingly, roof-fallingly devastated if you found out he’s going out on a date with someone else? Is that what you’re saying?”
“I-I guess? That’s oddly specific… Why do you ask, Kai?”
“No reason. Continue.”
“It’s just, he was the first one to say it, y’know? That we were just friends. I guess he was embarrassed by me, so I just didn’t say anything, I didn’t oppose, and now here we are. I don’t blame him, I’d be pretty embarrassed to say I was dating me as well. So, like, that’s when it hit me that he didn’t like me the same way I liked him, despite what anyone could say.”
“But I do love you, Jay-hyung!”
That voice, Jay recgonized it immediately. It was coming from somewhere, but he wasn’t there. It wasn’t even his voice voice, it was as if he was coming from a pho-
“Kai? Is that…?”
“Damn, okay, you caught us. Cover’s up. Yes, it’s Jungwon-ah, he heard it all. Say hi…”
“Yes, we heard it all, Jay-ah. I’m here as well,” Heeseung said through the call. They had been so quiet there was no way Jay could’ve figured he was being heard through the speaker. Oh, right, phones have an option to mute your side of the call. Damn…
“Ning, tell them to come up,” Soobin whispered.
“Heeseung-hyung, Jungwon-ah, why don’t you come up so you can talk it out better?” Kai said already seeing his friend’s soul part from his body.
“C-C-C-C-Come u-up? W-Where are they?” Jay asked.
“Before you get mad I want you to know this was all part of Soobinie-hyung’s plan. Okay, that’s a lie, it was all me. Sorry,” Kai said. “When I went to the store I called Won-ah to tell me why you were so out of it, if you two had had a fight or something and he told me you had agreed to date someone else this Saturday? Now, I’m no one to judge, but the hipocrisy… Woosh…”
“Kai, please shut up. You’re not helping.”
“So, anyways, I told him you were in our apartment and you’d been crying and he said ‘Well good, cos he deserves it,’ and well, I was feeling really bad for you so I asked him if he’d be willing to listen through the speaker on a secret call, and well, that brings us here. Oh, and Heeseungie-hyung said they were going to wait outside the building just in case. He knew.”
Knock, knock.
Jay’s instincts kicked in, alerting him it was the best time to hide. The problem was where exactly he could hide. Under the table? Too obvious. The bathroom? Jungwon would just kicked down the door and make him pay for it. Out the window? Well, there’s the risk of dying… so maybe…
“Don’t you even dare try to run away Park Jongseong because I’m this close to being the one to push you out the window.”
How did he…?
“I know everything about you so don’t test me. And yes, that includes knowing what you’re thinking right now and the fact that you lied about your date with K-hyung.”
How-
“He’s my friend’s older brother you really thought I wouldn’t find out all on my own? I just want to know why.”
“Uhm, okay, so, Wonnie, you probably have this under control so we’re gonna go to this room and just… yeah. “ The other three left, bowing their heads to Jay as one would do out of respect for the dead. Because they were watching a corpse-to-be.
“Now speak,” Jungwon demanded, frowning with his arms crossed, looking directly at Jay.
“Okay. It’s true, K-hyung didn’t ask me out. But we did message each other about it and asked him to help me out. This morning, when we kissed, I realized how much I wanted to keep kissing you, to just avoid going to classes altogether and just stay there with you, to tell you to just quit it all for a day and just be there together, and you’ve probably already heard as to why that would’ve been a bad idea, so that’s when Heeseung-hyung called me, that’s when I knew I had to start moving on to let you free once and for all.”
And then it hit him. Literally. Jungwon slapped his face so hard you could even hear the gasps coming from the other room. He wasn’t one to resort to violence, but enough was enough.
“You think I’m not free to make my own decisions? What? Am I a child doing just as you please? Give me a break, hyung. I expected that out of everyone but you. I’m seriously disappointed.”
Jay looked down, touching his face out of pain, knowing he deserved this one but without being able to point out exactly why.
“Don’t you ever look down on me. And what’s worse, stop looking down on yourself without knowing my reasons as well! Do you even know how much I’ve been holding back not to say anything while hearing you putting yourself down?
But I cannot blame you. I’ve felt the same way for too long. And, urgh, remembering it now I realize it was all my fault for being insecure as well. I thought I was the one holding you back, the one you’d be embarrass to even date, because I was younger and smaller, and to my eyes you’re perfect as well. There’s so much I want to dissect from what you just said, but, hyung, I don’t want to waste anymore ti-“
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?”
Those eyes… Jungwon knew that determined look on Jay’s face. It was the same look he had when someone said he couldn’t do something and he proved them wrong. It was the same look in his eyes when his school friends said he wouldn’t make it big as a fashion designer and he proved them wrong by having a small collection of his featured in a magazine. Multiple times.
He wasn’t hesitating, but Jungwon needed his heart to calm down once and for all because, secretly, he had been waiting to hear those words for way too long, longer than anyone knew. He was dying inside every time he heard Jay say that they were just friends. Even though it’s true that he said it first, Jay was the one to say it more often.
“Only if you promise to believe in how much I love you, hyung. I’m not a kid, and for me, I won’t ever feel like I’m wasting my time with you. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to date anyone even half as good as you, and I don’t even think about it. I want to grow old and still have you by my side. I don’t want to grow up alone and afraid to be in love with the one person I’m sure is the one for me. So, Jongseong-hyung, willl you accept my love as well?”
Jay nodded, tears in his eyes and pain in his whole body trying to get up and get closer to the person he loved the most. He leaned forward and carressed the younger’s face, forehead to forehead, nose to nose, eyes closed and excitement fluttering in his heart.
Jungwon felt burning in his face, a crack in his voice, melt in his legs, and falling in love even deeper than before. Taking his time to sink in this moment and let it consume both of us before leaning forward and kissing the man he loved. And, somehow, it felt like their first kiss ever.
The world went pitch-black, no noise to be heard, nothing but both of them right there, right then. As they kissed they engulfed in the moment of ecstasy of finally feeling the chains that kept them prisoners to their lies breaking down and setting them free. Envisioning a better future together, allowing themselves to breathe and lose their breaths, not able to let go of each other just yet as their lips became one and so did their hearts.
When the world suddenly began moving again they pulled back, trying to catch their breaths once again, and finally able to hear the sounds of squealing and cameras clicking and… more than three voices?
“Hyung, what the hell are you doing?”
“Oh, shut up you two,” Heeseung said. His phone on a video conference with all their friends. Kai taking pictures and Soobin recording the whole moment while eating a breadstick unashamed. “We’ve all been waiting way too long for this to happen. So go ahead, say hi to everyone and now tell us, are you two dating?”
Jay and Jungwon shared a look, blushing so hard and smiling even harder. They turned around and said at the same time:
“No, we’re just friends!”
“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”