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It hadn’t occurred to V about this sudden liking to pet collars, and it certainly hadn’t occurred to V the growing need to feel the material around his neck all the time, but all he knew is that he would keep this to himself and it would stay like that. He was more than frightened to know that Johnny encouraged the action and that he would even go as far as to compliment V on his new looks from time to time.
But all in all, V knew he had to keep this a secret and he especially had to keep it a secret from Jackie Welles. His partner.
Sure, V was comfortable with sharing with Jackie about things he liked or boundaries he wasn’t willing to cross, but a collar kink! Man, V was scared out of his mind at what Jackie would think about him. To suddenly or even accidentally walk in on him, startled out of his mind like a pet getting caught doing something bad. What would Jackie even say to him?
Would he take V for a person to easily bend over for the enemy, to give in and submit to commands as a dog would? Or to happily oblige by accompanying some daunting boss of a treacherous gang like a cat? Or even...
V smacked himself on the head, keeping his palm planted close to his eye. “Fuck, what the fuck!!” V repeated to himself. He was currently at his apartment at the Megabuilding, sitting cozily cross-legged on his bed, tightly gripping one of the collars he wanted to start wearing at night. He was always curious about how it felt to pets’, sleeping with a collar on all night, all day. Unfortunately for V, wearing it during the day was a big no-no. At least for now...
V murmured to himself lying back on the mattress and bringing the collar up and away from his face, away enough so that he could still see the lettering on the pendant that dangled towards him. V softened his expression, eyebrows furrowing slightly as his mind fogged with the thought that Jackie would push him away if he ever found out. V forced himself to huff out a long sigh before relaxing his muscles and breathing slowly and calmly in through his nose and out his mouth.
That was until V heard the sudden shifting slide of his door, and he knew instantly of the little time he had to hide the collar. With a sudden outburst of energy, he roughly shoved the collar under the pillow and flopped on his side facing the wall and pretending he was occupied with his thoughts.
“Got company V,” Johnny said unexpectedly to which V wanted to retort to saying ‘I know’ but keeping quiet instead.
“Heya Chico” Jackie said from behind, but no too close as V was able to pinpoint from the distance of the sound.
“Hey, Jackie” V mumbled back almost too soft for the other to hear. V almost felt himself wince at the dullness of his voice and was afraid Jackie would think he had fallen into a sort of melancholy state again. With that thought in mind, V slowly twisted around, leaving his legs still facing the wall while the rest now faced Jackie. He smiled softly at the sight of his partner and he could have sworn his cheeks started to tint towards the shade of pink.
“C’mere” V groaned reaching his arms to pull Jackie towards him by his neck. Jackie was then forced forward, his hands breaking him from collapsing on V by holding onto the bed frame. Jackie slowly got onto his knees and hugged V from there as it was easier for him to reach the other.
“Missed you V” Jackie smiled into V’s neck, brushing a hand through the other’s hair and repeating that as if to emphasize his words. V softly smiled at what Jackie said and only felt his grip tighten as the hug was drawn out longer than expected. “You wouldn’t mind telling me what you hid under that pillow of yours, would you?” Jackie then said without warning, and only then did V feel a sudden spike of trepidation course through him. V flinched, pulling his arms away from Jackie a little too quickly and he could almost feel a void of screaming fill his head as he mentally yelled at himself for letting his sudden actions make it obvious that he was hiding something.
Wow V, you are such a fool.
“Ugh...” V said dumbfoundedly before a long silence was drawn out between the both of them. V could almost feel his hands start to shake as he placed them into his lap, hiding the fact he was starting to grow uncomfortable by fiddling with his nails to try and help him relax. V wasn’t looking at Jackie when he started to talk, finding it almost impossible to even begin with. “It’’s not that-” V hesitated at the awkward accidental glance he gave towards Jackie and almost regretted it. From what V could make out, Jackie was looking back at him somberly, the curiosity of Jackie getting the better of him about what he was hiding.
V cursed to himself, feeling another wave of trepidation hit him. “Jackie it’s not that I don’t trust you” V started again, slow in his words so that Jackie would understand his own portrayal of feelings toward the situation. “It’s just, it’s not something I want getting out to anyone and I don’t feel completely confident that you wouldn’t judge me” V let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He bit his lip cautiously before working up the courage to finally look at Jackie.
Jackie had a slight tilt to his lips, upwards in fact and he didn’t look mad at all.
“Hey V?” Jackie hummed attentively, reaching a hand to slowly caress at V’s warms cheek. He let his thumb trace a circle motion, feeling the other’s soft skin under his own gentle touch. “Nothing could ever make me change my opinion on you, you are everything to me, and I mean absolutely everything”.
V smiled delicately, closing his eyes to only nudge and lean himself more into Jackie’s contact, putting V into pure bliss knowing he had someone like Jackie by his side. The comfort grew into a need as V almost began to purr, and by almost purring he started to grow hesitant again. He leaned back quickly, glaring at the other squinting his eyes slightly.
“I’m not too sure Jackie,” V said after some time, lacking the tone of voice to show the other he was willing to do what was asked in the first place. Jackie almost pouted at that, bringing his hands together to rest at his lips, pleading V.
V rolled his eyes grinning. Maybe letting Jackie know wouldn’t hurt, not that it would separate them for life. Possibly a few hours, or days, or weeks... V really had to stop thinking of such absurd and dismal endings towards him and Jackie.
V upholding his position on the bed, shifted onto his knees placing both hands down before the pillow. He paused letting himself calm his breath before slipping a hand under the pillow and grasping at the collar that lay underneath. He pulled it out handing it to Jackie and turning to face the wall once again, almost ashamed to have given in to his own daunting thoughts.
“El cariño, I don’t understand why you would be so afraid to show this?” Jackie whispered lightheartedly. V almost felt a wave of relief before Jackie continued. “I can help you pick out other collars for this cat. Dog, or other pet thing? I’d be glad to take care o-”
“Jackie that’s not...” V let out a sigh turning back to him and quickly grasping the collar back into his own grip. He caressed the pendant that sat neatly in the opening gap before deciding what would be the best way to show Jackie what it actually meant. At least V thought it was a good idea.
A stern look now planted on V’s face he turned back to Jackie again and took his hand to be held in front of his. V then unclipped the collar opening it into a long strand, and with that done he continued into his idea. Now grasping hold of both of Jackie’s hands, each holding onto the ends of the collar, V leaned forward and slid the object around his neck allowing Jackie to clip it into the slot with a loud click.
V didn’t say anything, allowing the silence to maintain both of them excluding the bustling sounds of Night City. V didn’t know what to say anyhow, not with the expression Jackie was giving him. If V was guessing correctly, Jackie was looking back at him with an expression of awe? Which is a good thing??
V could almost feel the start of what was to be tears before Jackie huffed out a laugh. V even more startled than before shrank into himself, feeling almost nauseous. Fuck he’d really screwed it now, and imagining it made it worse for V. Jackie would tell everyone, and V would definitely be head of the laughing stock around the area or the whole city in fact.
“V, my my. How long were you going to hide that from me, you looking fucking adorable wearing that!” Jackie spurted out, reaching in to grab a tight hold of V. V squeaked in surprise, sinking into another warm embrace of his lover.
“Wait! You’re not disgusted or anything?!” V panicked, surely he was dreaming right? Jackie wasn’t here in his apartment, hugging him so very closely and praising his appearance purely from a single collar was he?
“No, no of course not” Jackie replied squeezing V more into his embrace. “Is this why you were reluctant to show me what you were hiding?” Jackie said soon after.
“Maybe...” V returned in a whisper, averting his gaze downwards even though Jackie wouldn’t notice it. V leaned forward ever so slightly feeling a growing comfort at the scent of the other. It was like a home or was home to him. “I’m sorry, I overthought it. I was scared you’d hate me, or something”
“V, I’m completely okay with you having likings for things like this. I don’t think you should be ashamed of that” Jackie reassured in an instant starting to pull away from his embrace. He looked V in the eyes and could almost blush at the sight of the other. “Wow, aren’t you a gorgeous sight” Jackie cooed smirking.
V kept quiet, smiling softly back and before he knew it Jackie was pushing him back down onto the bed, making V feel small. Jackie leaned down pecking at V’s lips lightly before returning to hover above him.
“So why don’t we try some things with that collar, ey?”