Work Text:
Yuri’s been to many, many places for quests before. Major cities, the deep wilderness, underwater caves, even a petting zoo once… that last one had nearly gotten him killed, or had at least driven him to death closer than the rest, even when you count the time with the minotaur and chimera and… you get the point. Basically, he’s had his fair share of dangerous situations and experiences, and he thought at this point there was no quest nor mission that could surprise him any longer.
He was wrong.
“This is ridiculous,” he hisses, in between orders. “I’m wrong? Again? For the fifth time?”
“You’ve lost your touch, haven’t you?” Ashe says, looking so ridiculously disappointed that Yuri simply has no choice but to bonk his head. “O-Ow!”
“This whole place is just messing me up,” Yuri grumbles, squinting down at the cash register. Sure, he’s worked a few part-time jobs in more fast-food chains than he can count, but… “I have to take orders and look for monsters at the same time? What sick joke is this? And where the hell did Byleth go!?”
Ashe, apparently undeterred by the first bonk, gives him another pitying look. “Do you miss him that much already?”
“I don’t remember you talking back to me this much when we were younger. How many bonks on the head do you need to relearn your manners?”
Unfortunately, there’s an order to serve, and Ashe scurries away when a coworker picks up a tray of fries and burgers before Yuri can reach over and follow through with his promise, leaving Yuri to slump over the counter and sigh. How did his summer turn out like this…? No, stupid question. The answer is, as always, the same: fucking Olympus.
Unlike most other campers, Yuri’s grown accustomed to staying at Camp Half-Blood all year round, but this year he’s started poking around and getting more jobs where requirements are a little more lax and education isn’t a huge consideration… which means he mostly gets into shitty, cheap fast-food diners and retail, but hey, it’s something. With the mortal money he’s been steadily saving up, he might actually be able to afford a dorm room in his university so he doesn’t need to rely on Camp Half-Blood and Seteth for everything.
He just hadn’t expected Ashe and Byleth to visit him in the middle of work and tell him they were here for a quest. Because of monster sightings in the area. The area being this exact restaurant.
“You know, I think I would have noticed if any monsters were ordering Big Macs from me,” Yuri says irritably, when Ashe returns after the coworker from earlier heads over to table two. Or three. Yuri’s not actually very good at this job. “Are you sure you didn’t just read the information wrong? Try the department store across the street, that’ll do it, there’s this one saleslady there who is a real terror. The amount of times she has dumped me in sample perfume, I swear.”
Ashe frowns. “No, well… you know I’m not as good at finding things as you are, Yuri, but I swear Byleth and I searched this part of the city top to bottom and we couldn’t find a thing. This is the only place left.”
“Okay, come on, think about it. What sort of monsters would be frequenting a McDonald’s? Seriously. Like, give it some really deep thought.”
“I-I don’t know! Uh… Um…” He sighs. “There’s that one cleaning harpy back at camp who really likes chicken nuggets…?”
“That… Isn’t that cannibalism?”
“In any case, just stay vigilant,” Ashe says, somehow expertly redirecting the conversation back to the original topic. “We don’t know how dangerous the monsters are, or how many of them there are, or what species they are, or… basically, all we know is that they’re somewhere around here, and that means mortals are in danger. If you notice anything else out of place…”
Yuri scowls down at a nearby receipt a customer left behind on the counter. “Fine, fine. Leave it to me and just keep searching other areas, alright?”
Ashe nods, a reassured smile on his face. “Right! Okay, I’ll be back soon. See you later, Yuri! Let me see, maybe I should check that jewelry shop nearby…”
Yuri watches Ashe hurry out of the double doors before returning to the cash register, sighing. As if working at a forever-busy McDonald’s isn’t enough, he has to keep an eye out for monsters too? He highly doubts there are actually any in this place, because he’s sure he would have noticed otherwise, but Ashe is insistent on there being a monster around here, and his instincts are rarely wrong. Damn, that means Yuri’s the stupid one here, but come on, what would monsters even be doing in a McDonald’s?
He scours the people he can see before him—a group of teenage boys in high school chattering loudly in one table, a lone woman tapping away at her laptop with shitty coffee at her side, a couple speaking in low tones with each other… none of them give Yuri ‘monster’ vibes at all. He’d mostly been guessing with the various customers a while ago, when one girl had reminded him of a harpy and an old man had reminded him of a half-giant, but he hadn’t expected he’d get every single guess wrong.
“…Yuri?”
Yuri jolts and looks back up. “Byleth!” he calls, before hastily trying to straighten his expression; judging by the pleased glint in Byleth’s eyes, though, Yuri can safely say he hadn’t been entirely successful in hiding his excited smile in time. Ah, well. “Ahem, you’re back. Did you find anything? Let me guess: no.”
Byleth sighs and nods, stepping over to lean against the counter. Thankfully there isn’t a line yet, although Yuri can already see more customers entering the doors. “I searched all day, but I didn’t find anything unusual… I’m really starting to think Seteth was wrong about this quest for once.”
“If he heard you say that, you’d be in, like, camp detention by now.” Yuri reaches over and plays with the earring dangling off one of Byleth’s ears, idly admiring how it glimmers beautifully even under the faulty restaurant lights. Then he catches Byleth staring up at him, his own eyes bright blue and clearly expectant. “What?” Yuri grins. “You missed me, didn’t you?”
“Ashe says you missed me more.”
“…I hate the both of you.”
Byleth smiles and stands up straight, only to touch Yuri’s cheek with one gloved hand. “Uh, w-wait, wait wait wait,” Yuri stammers, backing off, relieved the counter is in between them to keep Byleth from getting too close. “I am working right now, Byleth, and in case you’ve forgotten, we’re in public too!”
Byleth pouts. “So what?”
“So what? I’ll be fired for PDA or something!”
“Whatever,” Byleth says. “I can just tell them to employ you again.”
That really does sound like Byleth. He’s grown more accustomed to his charmspeak, not terrified of it like before, but Yuri worries he’s grown a bit too accustomed. “Let’s save that for emergencies with actual monsters involved,” Yuri says, even if he’s inclined to call the entire capitalist system a monster in itself. Damn, maybe that’s the monster sighting Seteth had reported: fast-food diners. “Now get out of the way. Can I take your order—oh, sorry, is there something you need?”
Byleth sullenly moves to the side, allowing one of the high school boys from earlier to approach the counter. “Yeah, can I just get… five more Big Macs? That’s twenty dollars, right?”
“Mm, yup. Anything else?”
“Can the meat be a little rare?”
“No problem,” Yuri says, right before he realizes, wait a minute, that kind of sounds like a problem. Who the hell eats burgers with rare-cooked patties? He squints at the boy, noting the grin he offers and the gleam of his sharp canines. Could it be…? “For all of you?” Yuri asks, just to make sure.
The boy nods. “Oh, and a Coke refill, thanks.”
When he returns to his friends, Yuri whirls on Byleth. “Do werewolves drink Coke?” he whispers. “I mean, they’re not pure dogs, so… wait, it’s chocolate that dogs can’t have, but same thing.” He rubs his nose… is he getting an allergic reaction, maybe? Could those ‘high-schoolers’ really be lycanthropes?
Byleth looks intrigued. “I can go check. Do you have anything made out of silver on you?”
“…No? Who do you think I am—wait, Ashe!” Yuri remembers. “He went to a jewelry place just now. Can you get him to nab a silver ring or something so I can head over to those guys and see if they panic?”
“Okay, got it. What’ll you do?”
“I’ll—” Yuri pauses, at the same time Byleth blinks and seems to rethink his words. “I’ll… serve them their food, I guess…” He hadn’t been officially sent out to take part in the quest, so he technically isn’t supposed to be helping them out right now and should be working instead, but it still feels weird to potentially be in the middle of taking orders while Byleth and Ashe are off slaying werewolves or whatever. Eh, well, at least this means he can go back to camp later still feeling helpful despite not actually having done much.
Byleth nods, before his serious expression turns into a pleading look. “Can we please PDA later, though?”
“Don’t use that as a verb.”
“Please?”
“Later,” Yuri promises, unable to keep a smile off his face as Byleth mirrors it with his own. “Now hurry up and go already.”
Thankfully, the guy making the Big Macs—who was thoroughly confused when Yuri asked him to cook the patties rare—finishes up just as Ashe barrels through the double doors, a shining ring in his hand, with Byleth following a step behind. “Yuri!” he calls, lifting his fist up where the ring must be in. “I have the—uh…” Then he seems to remember where he is, because he clears his throat and says, “The money for… a cheeseburger…?”
Yuri massages his forehead. “Right.” At least his coworkers don’t seem to care one bit. Considering they’ve been working here longer than he has, they’ve probably seen weirder things anyway. “Okay, one cheeseburger, anything else with that…”
Ashe passes him the ring, and Yuri takes the tray for the werewolves-slash-high-schoolers and heads over to their table. They’re still jabbering on boisterously among one another, about basketball games or whatever it is high-school boys talk about, and they cheer in unison when Yuri deposits the tray of burgers and soda on their table.
This is it. The moment of truth. With the silver ring on his finger, Yuri very lightly brushes his hand against one of the boy’s arms when he draws back.
Just touching silver might not kill them, or even fatally injure them, but any self-respecting werewolf would jump back at the slightest touch; or, if these lycanthropes are already used to masquerading as regular mortals, then maybe they’d tense up or stiffen and back away. Either way, Yuri’s experienced enough to be able to tell at one glance, and he readies himself to draw Killing Edge at a single moment’s confirmation…
…except… there is no confirmation. The high-schoolers don’t jump out of their seats or flinch away from him, and just dig into their burgers without another thought. Yuri stares at them in disbelief, and then down at the ring. It’s definitely not plastic or plain steel, but…
Suddenly one of the boys spits out his mouthful of food, which might be the absolute worst thing Yuri’s been forced to witness this year. “Whoa! Dude, what the hell, why’s this meat so raw?”
The boy from earlier cackles. “I wanted to screw with you guys, duh!”
Yuri looks over at where Ashe and Byleth are standing, Ashe holding onto his bow and Byleth reaching up to his earring, and sighs. They’re all lucky the Mist obscures their less-than-normal actions from the mortals, because those two probably would have been banned from this McDonald’s and Yuri fired along with them. “Okay, so, this is my sixth mistake,” Yuri grumbles. “You want fries with your burger, Ashe?”
Ashe shakes his head, but Byleth nods. “What?” Byleth says, sounding genuinely confused, when Ashe shoots him a look. “We’re already here…”
But even late that night, after Byleth and Ashe exhaust themselves running around the area looking for what Yuri is sure are nonexistent monsters, and Yuri himself is exhausted from taking orders all day, not a single threat shows up. Normally this would be a good thing, but at the same time, no camper wants to head back to Camp Half-Blood and tell Seteth they hadn’t found anything when the reports clearly stated there’s something to be found, so Ashe dawdles by the exit, staring sadly out the glass doors like he’s lamenting his inevitable fate.
Yuri leans over the counter to sigh at him. “Ashe, just go already. It’s not like you did anything wrong, so Seteth can’t scold you for not finding anything.”
“But, but, to go all the way out here and spend the whole day searching, only to find nothing…!”
Yuri massages his temple. “Right, okay,” he says, keeping his voice calm and reassuring. “I’ll help you explain the situation, alright? I’m about to get off in a minute, so just sit tight and wait for me and we can head back together. Even if Seteth doesn’t believe you and Byleth—and I know he will, he’s a stickler, not stupid—he’ll believe a witness, won’t he?”
Ashe sighs, but he doesn’t look quite as nervous anymore. “That… yeah, okay,” he mumbles. “Thanks, Yuri.”
“It’s fine.” For how mature Ashe can act, Yuri sometimes forgets he’s still only fifteen or so. When Yuri was fifteen… well, he’d almost died more times than he can count on his hands, but that’s pretty staple for any demigod. But he had also cried himself to sleep more often than he does now, so he supposes there’s that. “Do you want another burger before we go?” Yuri weakly offers.
Ashe shakes his head. “I think I’ve had enough of burgers for a lifetime.”
“Fair enough,” Yuri concedes. “Alright, just give me a sec.” He heads into the backroom, already tugging his uniform off his regular clothes, but pauses midway when he bumps into one of the last coworkers still present emerging from the narrow doorway. “Oh, ‘scuse me. My shift’s about to end, so—”
“Oh, perfect timing!” his coworkers crows, stopping Yuri in his tracks. At a nearby table, Ashe looks up, confusion on his face. “Listen, there’s been a change in schedule. You’re free for the rest of tonight, right?”
“What? No, I—”
“Yeah, well, someone called in sick, so we really need someone to cover the night shift for him. You’ll be paid extra, don’t worry, and it’s just for tonight.”
“Uh, I didn’t even say—”
“Cool, thanks! See ya!” And the man strolls out the doors like he hadn’t heard a word Yuri just said.
“What? Hey, get back here!” Yuri snarls, vaulting over the counter and stalking over to the door—but when he pokes his head out, the man’s already gone. A car speeds down the road without a care in the world. “Wait a minute! I’ve been here all day, I can’t just… argh!”
Byleth chooses that moment to return from the restroom, absently drying his hands on a paper towel. “Is everything alright?” he asks, then sees the expression on Yuri’s face when he turns around. “Ah, I guess not.”
“That little—I could crush him right now, I swear!” Yuri stomps back to the counter, the short distance between the doors and the cash register feeling like the ultimate walk of shame. In this chain, there are only a grand total of two people who work on night shift, so this means Yuri has to handle things here with just one other person for help? How bad are the gods screwing him over right now?
“Um… why don’t we just go?” Ashe suggests. “It’s not supposed to be your shift anyway, so…”
Yuri groans and buries his face in his hands. “If I leave now, they’re going to fire me for sure.” Getting a part-time job that didn’t frown down on his complete lack of high school education was hard enough, and he isn’t looking forward to having to go through the process again. “Alright, never mind, you two just go on ahead. I’ll get to camp later and explain it to Seteth in the morning if things went wrong.”
Byleth’s expression hardens. “I’m not leaving you.”
“Byleth, we are talking about a part-time job at a McDonald’s here, not a quest. I’ll be fine.”
“Still not leaving you. It’s dangerous at night.”
“Did you forget I am part god?” Admittedly without powers as cool and combat-oriented as Byleth’s, but still.
“I’m with Byleth on this one,” Ashe chimes in, his brow furrowed and his eyes filled with resolve. “It’s unfair to just leave you all alone here! Anyway, the longer we stay, the more likely we might find the reported monster. You know, maybe they only come around at night, something like that.”
Yuri gives him a long, searching look. “You just don’t want to face Seteth alone, do you?”
“Um… I’ll go search the parking lot again,” Ashe says, laughing nervously as he scurries out the double doors.
Yuri shakes his head as he takes his place back behind the counter, Byleth following after to lean on the surface instead. Thankfully there aren’t too many customers anymore, this late at night, although Yuri has a feeling this place isn’t open 24/7 for no reason. “This is annoying,” Byleth sighs. “I was looking forward to going back with you.”
“Don’t lie. You were looking forward to what happens after we get back to camp,” Yuri scoffs. There’s almost nowhere to be private together in camp, considering the shared cabins, but the cleaning harpies usually miss a corner in the training grounds during their nightly routine, and the two of them have made great use of that knowledge.
“Fine, maybe,” Byleth concedes, although he looks more amused than anything.
Yuri sighs. “I’m sorry, really. It’s not like I exactly planned for this to happen. But…” He glances up at the restaurant ceiling. There are only two security cameras, and though they may be able to catch a part of what happens behind the counter, there shouldn’t be any in the backroom. The other guy who works the night shift isn’t here yet, which means… “Wanna head in back there for a sec?”
Byleth blinks. “Am I… allowed?”
“There’s no one else here, and I reeeally need your help with some… heavy boxes,” Yuri says, raising his voice aloud for the CCTV to catch, just in case anyone needs auditory evidence. Byleth snorts, but he doesn’t protest in the least when Yuri drags him over to behind the counter and into the backroom. It’s dark, with only one blinking, faulty light fixture creaking above them, which of course makes it perfect for their intended purpose.
Maybe it’s something about Byleth being an Aphrodite kid, but every time Yuri gets near him it feels like Byleth just turns into a full-body aphrodisiac—okay, it sounds weird when he puts it like that, but it’s the only way Yuri can think to describe it. He presses Byleth up against the wall and kisses him hard, digging his hands against his waist, already feeling that now-familiar haze beginning to fog up his mind. Byleth is nice and pliant against him, even if he’s just the tiniest bit taller, and his own arms come up to encircle Yuri’s back and pull him closer. The shared warmth and close contact is dizzying, but in as good a way as being dizzying can get.
“Yuri,” Byleth whispers, his breath hot against Yuri’s throat, and Yuri shivers at hearing Byleth’s voice like this, low and dark and somehow needy. “It’s a pain… seeing you all day but not getting to touch you…”
“You sound like the love interest in a shitty romance novel,” Yuri tells him, though it takes an inhuman amount of effort to keep his voice steady at the feeling of Byleth’s hands roaming across his body. He opens his mouth only to immediately forget whatever he had meant to say when Byleth dips down to kiss him again, still somehow keeping the action gentle even when Yuri can feel the desire emanating from his person. “Wait, Byleth,” Yuri manages, in between ragged breaths, “can you do the thing… you know…”
Byleth looks confused for all of one second. “The… thing where I…” At Yuri’s nod, his cheeks flush even redder than they already are, and he mumbles, “Um, but, what if…?”
“Hey, come on, it worked out fine the other times we tried it,” Yuri reasons.
“Yes, but we hadn’t been in public…”
“Public? Oh, now you’re worried about publicity?”
Byleth pouts. “Okay, fine, but only for a minute. If I lose control, uh…”
“Right, right, okay,” Yuri hurriedly agrees. He watches as Byleth looks down, breathes in deep, and then—and then Yuri isn’t paying much attention anymore, because it feels like there isn’t anything else left in the world to pay attention to outside of Byleth. He surges forward, catching Byleth’s lips in another biting kiss hard enough to draw the sharp tang of blood, but Yuri savors it and only presses closer, holds on tighter. Byleth whimpers, and Yuri catches that too, memorizing the sweet sound so he can think about it again and again.
The first time Byleth had done this, it had been entirely on accident—he’d been tense and on edge after a monster attack, and when Yuri had touched him to see if he was alright, his amokinesis had gone wildly out of control. But now, after much learning and practice, they know how to use it for their own benefit, heightening the pleasure at the cost of the rest of the world fading into white noise in the background. Still, they can have this for just a minute, can’t they? Yuri leans back and lets Byleth scatter heated kisses along his bared neck, his hands trembling where they’re gripping onto Byleth’s waist. They’ve been working all day, so surely they can have some time for themselves—
The door swings open. “Hey, other night shift guy, you here?”
Byleth releases the amokinesis in an instant, and when the voice registers in Yuri’s still-hazy head, he nearly shrieks his head off; thankfully, the two of them are relatively hidden away between rickety shelves, giving Yuri enough time to smoothen his rumpled clothes as he pops out to see, well, the other night shift guy. “Yeah, I’m here!” he calls. If his voice is a little higher than usual, that’s nobody’s business but his own. “Uh, was just, you know, checking some things in here. Thought I heard a rat. No big deal.”
His coworker frowns at him but thankfully doesn’t press, and backs away into the rest of the diner instead. “Okay,” they allow, sounding bored already. “Well, you missed a few customers out there, but I took care of it. You can go back now, though, I think there’re more.”
“Right, okay. No problem. On it.”
Yuri waits for them to close the door first before turning around, sighing in relief. “You can come out now,” he mutters, watching as the blinking light shifts and wavers before Byleth returns from his brief invisibility. Honestly… the guy had inherited just about every one of Aphrodite’s powers, from the all-powerful charmspeak to light deflection, of all things. “The other guy will be in the kitchen, so you can probably sneak out without being noticed. Be careful anyway.”
Byleth sighs. “Oh… already?”
“And just a second ago you were saying you’d only use the amokinesis for a minute.”
“Eh, well, it’s not like I can just stop it after starting it…”
“Typical.” Yuri gives him one last kiss on the corner of his lips anyway, just to feel Byleth’s mouth curve up in a smile under his touch. “Okay, that’s the last one, for real, I need to go. Will you be joining Ashe to search around again?”
Byleth shrugs. “I can stay here… and see if any monsters come by,” he adds, at Yuri’s raised eyebrow. “I’m doing my job too, really.”
Yuri exits the backroom first, and he almost doesn’t notice Byleth sneaking out until he’s seated by a table nibbling on some fries again, which is commendable considering Yuri’s always being pushed to teach newbie campers on spying and stealthing. His coworkers is already in the kitchen, the sounds and smells of cooking coming from within; he doesn’t know much about them at all, but Yuri’s glad they seem like the quiet sort.
He sighs and plasters on his customer-service face again as someone approaches the counter. Here’s to another few hours of suffering, he supposes.
Still… is it just him, or does he feel something in the air? Maybe it’s just the late hour, but Yuri can swear something in the diner feels different somehow. Yet even as he scans the handful of customers scattered throughout the tables, he can’t find anything particularly out of place: a sleepy salaryman, an exhausted graduate student, some other assorted individuals… oh, and Byleth, obviously. So what could it be…?
Whatever. He shakes the thoughts away as best as he can and takes an order from his coworker to deliver to the salaryman. It’s not often Yuri’s gut feeling is right, if he’s being truthful, so he might as well leave this up to the demigods actually working on the quest… even if it looks like only Ashe is doing anything, he mentally notes, shooting the lazing Byleth a look. Byleth only smiles up at him, which Yuri supposes he should have expected.
“Thanks for waiting,” he says, the words mostly on reflex now, as he deposits the plastic tray on the salaryman’s table. The man doesn’t even respond, and though irritation itches at Yuri, he shrugs it off as best as he can and turns around to head back to the counter—
—only to choke on a gasp when an arm suddenly catches him around his neck and yanks him down, the edge of the table digging against his back. Yuri only lets surprise scramble his thoughts for the shortest of seconds before he pulls himself together and slips out of the man’s grip, leaping back to widen the distance between them. “Hey, what’s your problem!?” he snaps, throwing away the stupid customer-service act. “At least take a bite of your food before filing a complaint that violent!”
The salaryman staggers forward, his gaze distant and unseeing and his movements clearly unsteady. Yuri frowns—he hadn’t smelled even a hint of alcohol on the man earlier, and he hadn’t looked very special earlier when he’d observed the diner. Could he be a monster? But if so, what kind uses regular humans as their skin?
“Yuri! Are you hurt?” Byleth asks—the Sword of the Creator has already manifested in his hand, and when he turns his gaze onto the salaryman his eyes are flickering a million different colors, in the way Yuri knows they get when he’s feeling intense emotions. “That…”
“I’m fine, Byleth, calm down,” Yuri says, resting a hand on Byleth’s arm. “We can’t hurt the guy. He’s a mortal—your sword won’t work on him.”
“But…”
“Who are you? What do you want?” Yuri shouts. This probably isn’t very good publicity for the restaurant—or, well, very good publicity, depending on how the Mist distorts this for the other mortals in the area—but he can’t just take a monster in his territory lying down.
The salaryman stumbles once before lifting his head, revealing a pair of glowing golden eyes. As Yuri had expected. What he doesn’t expect is what leaves the man’s mouth: “Food…”
“…Food?”
But the man doesn’t follow that up with anything else, surging forward in a tackle instead. Yuri doesn’t even have to move; Byleth darts forward, intercepting the man’s charge with his bare arms and okay, that’s kinda hot. Instead of Killing Edge, Yuri draws a knife instead, stepping forward to level it under the salaryman’s neck as Byleth holds his struggling self in place. “You’re an eidolon, aren’t you?” Yuri asks, trying to keep his voice nonchalant.
He snarls at him, looking completely different from the yawning salaryman Yuri had observed just a minute ago. He frowns; eidolons are spirits, usually people who died with unresolved grudges, and roam the earth looking for mortal hosts to possess. They’re obviously invisible until they possess a body, which explains why Yuri, Ashe, and Byleth hadn’t been able to spot them all day. While some mellow out over time and aren’t a threat, others, especially newly-born ones, can be unpredictable and therefore dangerous. If this one is looking for food, does that mean it wants to prey on human bodies?
Then suddenly the man sags to the floor, going still in Byleth’s arms—Yuri tucks his knife back in its holster and Byleth helps the man over to his chair just in time for him to blink awake, rubbing his now regular brown eyes. “Er…? Did I doze off for a moment there?”
“You must’ve been tired after a long day at work,” Yuri cheerfully tells him. “Enjoy your food, sir.”
A quick glance around tells him the other mortals hadn’t noticed a thing, and upon seeing the customer-less counter, Yuri decides it shouldn’t hurt to stay by Byleth’s side first. “An eidolon?” Byleth mumbles, looking around the diner like he might be able to spot it. “I’m not sure how we can get rid of it… does exorcism work?”
Yuri laughs. “You saying you know how to exorcise spirits?”
“Well, no, but… it can’t be that hard to learn?”
Yuri shakes his head. “Even if it were, eidolons are tricky to drive off. We can try charmspeak, but if it’s not in a mortal body, you might affect all the other mortals here… accidentally, of course,” he hurriedly adds, when Byleth droops at the unfortunate reminder. “Sheesh, it’s not your fault your powers are whack. But anyway, the best we can do is wait for it to possess someone again, and then order it to leave.”
“But… it said it wanted food, right?” Byleth frowns. “Is it going to eat anyone here? Can disembodied spirits even do that?”
“That…” Yuri mulls that over. He’s never heard of an eidolon asking for food before, unless it’s some sort of annoying, unnecessary metaphor for something else. But dead spirits can’t exactly eat human food, can they? “My best bet is that this spirit wants to return itself into a body,” he concludes. “They’re pretty weak on their own, so they usually gather as a group. There might be more in the area; you should go look around.”
Byleth frowns. “They’re invisible.”
“I mean, you saw that dude’s golden eyes a while ago. Just look for people outside who—”
“I’m not leaving you here.”
Yuri scratches his cheek. “This again, huh?”
“It’s not that I don’t think you can’t handle yourself, Yuri,” Byleth says, clearly choosing his words carefully. His brow is furrowed in what looks like a mix of concentration and determination as he speaks. “I just don’t want to leave you alone. That’s all.”
“And Ashe?” Yuri half-teases, leaning back against the counter. “He’s all alone out there, isn’t he?” He’s not too worried about Ashe getting in danger, though; an eidolon is only as strong as its host, and even if Ashe can’t kill mortals like he can monsters, there’s no one better than him at escaping from a scene. Sometimes Yuri really wishes they could have shared that distance-shortening power of his.
Byleth falters at that. “Ah, well… it’s different…”
“Now you just sound like you’re the one who doesn’t want to be alone here.” Yuri scans the diner again while Byleth stammers and scrambles for an explanation. He can’t sense anything out of place anymore, which means the eidolon might have left the place to regroup or something… either way, they can’t just let the things roam freely around the city. But what can he do? Not only was he not even selected to take on this quest, but he also has a night shift to work here…
He shakes his head. “If it’s looking for food, it might head over to places with a lot of people at this time,” Yuri reasons. “I’ll stay here to work… and also in case it decides to come back. Alright?” At Byleth’s worried look, Yuri adds, “If you keep that face any longer, you’ll get wrinkles. I don’t like wrinkles. Stop that.”
“Oh, fine,” Byleth finally relents, albeit with a heavy, defeated sigh. “It shouldn’t be too dangerous anyway… um, but where are some places with a lot of people right now? It’s late, isn’t it?”
Yuri feels his brows rise of their own accord. “Have you never been to a nightclub or what?”
Byleth’s eyes look ready to bug out of their sockets. “You have?”
“What do you take me for? A boring nerd who’s never snuck out of camp at night?” Yuri snickers to himself. “Whatever, just get going already. All the noise might give you a headache though, so stick to the entrance if you’re not sure. If you need help, just ask.”
Despite the reluctance clear on his face, Byleth nods. “Okay.” Then, after a moment’s pause, he bends down slightly to brush a kiss against Yuri’s cheek, in plain sight, like he hadn’t been the one just mumbling about being in public. “See you, Yuri,” he says, his voice so warm and smile so sweet that Yuri’s legs threaten to wobble.
He’s out the double doors before Yuri can wipe the dumb smile off his own face. Damn Aphrodite kids.
Yuri checks the time on the clock as he heads back behind the counter—yep, still a handful of hours to go until the night shift ends at 6am. This is honestly fucking ridiculous, and he supposes he’s just glad he works the afternoon shift as opposed to early damn morning, but still, there should be a law in place to keep this shit from happening. Or there probably is, but either his coworkers don’t know about it, or they do know and don’t give a fuck. What’s new, Yuri supposes, as he idly wipes the counter clean of some mysterious-looking stains and returns his attention to a new customer.
Something clatters audibly behind him in the kitchen, where his only other coworker is at. Once again, things could be worse, Yuri tries to convince himself. That only other coworker of his could simply have not shown up at all. “Hey, new order. Can I get a—”
A knife comes flying out of the open kitchen door, aimed straight between his eyes.
With literally inhuman reflexes, Yuri falls to the floor, just narrowly avoiding getting his skull sliced in two or whatever happens when one gets a knife embedded in their face—it flies and thunks into a pillar behind him instead. Briefly, Yuri hopes he doesn’t have to pay for that with his salary. “Sweet fuck! What the hell?” he snaps. “Do you hate me that much already? We’ve literally just met!”
He’s hardly surprised when he sees the glowing golden eyes, the placid coworker from earlier possessed by an eidolon, though Yuri can’t be sure if this is the same one. They already have a new knife in hand, this one still covered with pieces of lettuce and tomato, and they’re steadily advancing towards Yuri with clear killing intent. “Food!” they growl.
“How do you plan on eating me?” Yuri groans. None of this makes any sense. He really should have just left this diner to the dogs and fled the instant the words ‘night shift’ left that other coworker’s mouth… “Even if you possess a mortal body, you won’t actually be eating anything, will you?”
“Food… not tasty enough…”
“There’s an expensive restaurant like, five minutes away from here,” Yuri grouses. “If you’re gonna complain about the quality of fast fucking food, maybe don’t possess the chef while you’re at it—”
He neatly dodges the second knife thrown his way, although it whizzes far too close to his face for his liking, leaving a trace of tomato juice on his cheek; Yuri activates the Fetters of Dromi and leaps over the counter, glancing around the diner. As he’d expected, there’s another person with the eidolon’s golden eyes—the graduate student from before, poor guy, Yuri hopes he hadn’t been working on a project due at 11:59pm tonight—but the rest of the customers look fairly normal. He can’t leave without at least driving the spirits out of the bodies they’re possessing, else they might hurt the other mortals here…
Okay, screw it. “Hey! You want good food, is that it?” Yuri shouts. The two eidolons spin to face him so fast, Yuri dearly hopes they hadn’t snapped their mortal hosts’ necks. “Then follow me! And don’t even think about going anywhere else!”
He runs out the double doors—there’s no need to check if they follow, because Yuri can hear their stumbling footfalls right behind him. At night the streets look longer and more sinister, somehow, the shadows cast by the street lamps stretching abnormally long across the pavement, but this is Yuri’s natural element; he zips down narrow alleyways and twisting side-streets until the footsteps behind him fade, replaced by the regular stillness of the evening, interspersed with car honks and low chatter. Eidolons don’t have any other special powers outside of possession, so this should keep them busy for now.
As for himself… he scans his surroundings. He’d advised Byleth to head to a nightclub, and though that place definitely isn’t Byleth’s scene, he would probably have checked the perimeter at least. Yuri sets off down the road at a quick jog, not for the first time wishing Ashe were here right now, wherever that kid even is.
The nearest nightclub from the McDonald’s he’s temporarily abandoned doesn’t take much effort to find, and after finding nothing and no one outside the building, Yuri slips past the bouncer with typical Hermes-esque sneakiness. “Byleth!” he shouts as soon as he steps inside, uncaring of the strange looks the other clubbers send his way. “Byleth, you in here?”
No response… well, not that Yuri had been expecting he’d find the guy so quickly. Frankly this has to be the worst place to try looking for somebody in, but whatever—Yuri weaves through the sticky, sweaty crowd, keeping his eyes peeled for a familiar mop of dark blue hair or the dark clothes Byleth is wearing today, but neither pop up even after several minutes of searching. Is he not here after all? Maybe Yuri had missed him already, or Byleth had went to another nightclub to poke around in. He heads back to the entrance, but raises his voice in another shout for one last try. “Byle—”
Instinct has his body moving before his brain—Yuri jumps to the side, and the graduate student from earlier topples to the floor in his attempt to tackle him to the ground. This means Yuri ends up crashing against some other club-goer’s back and sending them both stumbling against a wall, but it’s better than probably getting his face bitten off by the eidolon.
“Oh, come on,” he grumbles. He thought he’d have more time on his own before one of the two would have found him… is he getting rusty? He blames McDonald’s. Yuri leaps lightly back up onto his feet, still having the time to turn his nose up at the new wrinkles on his clothes… then again, he’s still in the employee uniform, so he might as well go all-out in destroying this before the night ends. It’s obviously not going to be of any use come the following morning, after all.
The eidolon glares at him. “Liar.”
“Hey, I didn’t lie to you,” Yuri huffs. “This place’s filled with a bunch of tasty humans, right?” Of course, he doesn’t plan on letting this eidolon actually have the chance to experience a human buffet, but he still has to actually think about how he’s going to get the spirit out of this mortal body.
Unexpectedly enough, the eidolon frowns in what looks like genuine confusion. “Tasty… humans? Don’t eat humans. Eat… food!”
…Okay, now Yuri’s the confused one. “What? Food? You mean, like, actual… food?”
Maybe it’s Yuri’s imagination, but the eidolon definitely gives him a deadpan look. “What… other… food is there.”
“Don’t get snarky with me now, spirit. Monster. Um… dead… guy. But what the hell? You’re a spirit! You can’t eat human food, can you? And you can’t stay in that body forever—”
“Hey, hey, what’s going on here?” someone snaps, pushing and shoving through the crowd that Yuri belatedly notices has begun to gather around them. He supposes they do make an interesting sight, a McDonald’s employee arguing with a graduate student. Yuri looks up (and up, and up) into the stern eyes of a security guard, his arms folded over his chest. “You two causing a scene? We don’t like scenes in here. Get out.”
Yuri laughs awkwardly, holding his hands up in as placating a gesture as he can manage. “Don’t be like that. My friend and I were just having a nice talk about, you know, club things! We’ll be out of your hair in a—”
The eidolon steps up and draws a knife from his pocket.
“—gods damn it, eidolon, put that away,” Yuri hisses, smacking his wrist. The Mist probably only hides the glowing golden eyes, not the perfectly normal, manmade kitchen knife, considering how the crowd gasps and backs away fearfully while the security guard’s stern expression only grows sterner. “We can talk this out! Put that away, I said—”
“So you came here armed too,” the guard says, pulling out a baton. Great. Just great. Yuri doesn’t know why he even bothers. “You know what we do to people who bring knives in here?”
Completely giving up on a smooth escape, Yuri snatches the knife out of the eidolon’s hands—thankfully, it looks like the graduate student isn’t particularly strong or athletic, since Yuri grabs it just fine with barely any resistance—and yanks them by the back of their collar towards the exit. “We’ll get going now bye!” he shouts, all in one breath, as he races out of the building, back onto the streets, and down the nearest alleyway until they’re sufficiently hidden away from the nightclub. The eidolon is hissing and spitting, but they’re weak enough that Yuri can hold them down without too much trouble. “You!” Yuri sighs. “At least try to go with the flow there, man!”
“Mean,” the eidolon grumbles.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, but I had it fine there until the knife. Anyway—no, you’re not getting it back,” Yuri says firmly, like he’s speaking to a small child, when the eidolon makes grabby motions towards the knife in his other hand. “Not until you learn to behave, damn it. Ugh. Anyway, where were we… right, you were talking about food?”
The eidolon nods, fortunately distracted by the topic change. “Leader says… will give us permanent bodies… if we give food.”
“Leader? Is it, like, a head-honcho eidolon or something?”
“Uh…” The eidolon frowns. “No… hard to describe.”
Hard to describe? Well, monsters in general are hard to describe, that Yuri can admit. Does that mean these eidolon have been tasked with bringing back food to their leader, whoever they are? If they’re so hungry, and if they have enough power to have control over a group of eidolons and grant them permanent bodies, then why can’t they just disguise themselves as a human and do it themselves? “Alright then,” Yuri decides. “How’s this. Why don’t we just head back over to the McDonald’s peacefully, you order something to bring back to your master, and you lead me right to them—”
“Yuri.”
“—and then—oh, hey, there you are!” Yuri exclaims, his heart jumping around when he hears the now-familiar voice and sees the now-familiar silhouette at the mouth of the alleyway. Byleth doesn’t come close, his eyes trained on the eidolon crouched before Yuri, but Yuri can’t exactly blame him. “Where were you? I was just about to try another nightclub, sheesh.”
Byleth frowns. “I found some. Eidolons, I mean.” He looks behind him over his shoulder, then turns back to Yuri. “Well, you can’t see them, but they’re following me. Four of them.”
“They’re… following you?”
“I told them to come out of their hosts and stay with me until I exorcise them,” Byleth explains. Yuri briefly contemplates mentioning eidolons can’t be exorcised, then decides it isn’t worth the headache. “They said there are five of them in total. So that one…”
The eidolon rises to his feet, glowing eyes narrowing into a glare. “No.”
“Wait, wait, wait,” Yuri hurries, jumping between the two before the inevitable fight breaks out. “No need to get bloody, you guys. Byleth, I don’t think the eidolons are the real target here. Did they tell you about this leader of theirs or something? We should use track down whoever that is instead and deal with them rather than some spirits we can’t really do anything against.”
“Oh.” Byleth looks disappointed. “Are you sure exorcism won’t work?”
“Why do you want to learn exorcism so bad anyway.”
“Demonology… never mind. I guess it’s not important,” Byleth says, like that single word he’d muttered hadn’t been the most concerning thing Yuri’s ever heard come out of his mouth. He nods. “Okay. I’ll subdue this eidolon and make him bring us to their leader, and you can look for Ashe so we can regroup.”
Yuri’s about to agree until he feels movement beside him; he tenses up, ready for a surprise attack, only to realize it’s just the eidolon shifting to hide behind him instead. “Don’t wanna.”
“What?”
“Mean.” The eidolon glares up at Byleth. “Will bring you to leader. But… not under his orders.”
Color flickers in Byleth’s narrowed eyes. “Step away from him or I’ll cut your head off.”
“Bite me.”
The Sword of the Creator materializes in Byleth’s grip. “You two!” Yuri groans, massaging his aching temple. “Calm down, sheesh. Let’s just find Ashe together, wherever that poor kid is, it’s way past his bedtime now, and then we look for the leader. There will be no… subduing or charmspeaking or whatever,” he adds, just to mollify the bristling eidolon, “but no dirty tricks on your part either. You know celestial bronze can’t hurt mortals, but it sure can sting for the eidolon possessing them.”
“Ugh.” The eidolon obediently backs away, albeit still glaring at Byleth the whole while. “Fine. Will be nice.”
“Good eidolon,” Yuri says. He catches the bewildered (and slightly betrayed) look Byleth sends his way and shrugs. “What? If we can avoid a fight, we should, right?”
“I guess,” Byleth grumbles. “But don’t go getting too friendly with it. I don’t…”
He trails off there, looking for whatever reason shy, and it takes Yuri a second to realize what Byleth means. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous of a literal dead spirit?”
“Guh,” Byleth mutters.
“Byleth.” Yuri grins as he elbows Byleth’s side. “You really think I’d pick an eidolon over tall, blue, and handsome here?”
Byleth’s cheeks go that endearing shade of red Yuri adores so much. “T-That…”
“With your multicolored eyes, your pretty hands, your quirky earring that is definitely not a deadly weapon in disguise…”
The aforementioned eyes, usually just dark blue, start flashing several different colors again. This guy really did inherit everything from Aphrodite, didn’t he. Is that even legal? Who allowed that? “Yuri,” Byleth whines, his blush reaching all the way to the tips of his ears. “I-I get it, so you can stop now!”
“You sure? I don’t think I’m even halfway down the list.”
“You… ugh…”
“Gotta make sure you don’t go around getting jealous of every other monster, you know,” Yuri tells him. Taking pity on Byleth’s completely-red face, he pulls him down for a chaste kiss on the underside of his jaw before returning his attention to the road in front of them. Ashe… by now he might have returned to the restaurant, or at least be on his way back. “Alright, let’s get going,” Yuri decides. It’s nearly midnight, and if he’s lucky he can wrap this up and get back to the McDonald’s when the guys for the morning shift come in.
“Wait…” The eidolon behind them frowns, glancing over at the empty air behind Byleth that Yuri can only assume means he’s looking at his fellow, host-less eidolons. “Something… strange with the master. Telling us… to return.”
“Return?” Byleth gives Yuri a look that plainly states he doesn’t believe it. “Why?”
“Don’t know. Something about…” A long pause. “Caught… demigod.”
Yuri returns Byleth’s earlier look with a scowl. “Well, fuck,” he says. “I guess this condenses our plans, huh. Eidolon, take us to your leader.”
The way to the leader’s hideout is long and tiring, but not because of any other monsters. Yuri has to fend off some drunkards staggering on the streets so they don’t spill leftover beer or projectile vomit on either him or Byleth, while Byleth, apparently still unused to human civilization after living in the wilderness for so long, keeps walking straight out onto the road and getting ragged on by drivers that nearly crash right into him. For what feels like the tenth time today, Yuri dearly wishes he had been the one caught by the eidolons’ leader instead, because Ashe could have just shortened the distance between them no problem.
But anyway. After what feels like the longest half-hour of Yuri’s life, they arrive at the mouth of the alleyway; it’s dirtier and smellier than the rest they’d passed through to get here, and even the eidolon looks reluctant about entering. “Here,” they grumble. “Uh… careful.”
“Thanks,” Yuri sighs. Byleth is already stepping forward, looking unperturbed about the generally eerie vibe the place gives off. “You really aren’t scared of anything, huh?”
“It’s just an alleyway,” he says. “And Ashe is in trouble.”
“Yeah…” Yuri frowns. He doubts Ashe is in immediate danger, but he can’t quite keep his heartbeat at a regular rate, and he’s sweating despite the chill of the evening. He promised himself to never let Ashe get hurt, because—well, that’s his younger brother, obviously, but also because he really, really doesn’t need anyone else he loves get hurt for him anymore.
“Okay, you’re right, it’s just an alleyway,” Yuri repeats. He tries to join Byleth’s side, realizes the alleyway is too narrow for them to walk side-by-side, and grumbles under his breath as he shoves the eidolon they’re still bringing along in between them instead. “Hey, stay here so you don’t pull any tricks.”
The eidolon has the gall to stick their tongue out at him.
“Can you tell us anything else about your leader?” Yuri prods. “Like, you know, if they’re really dangerous or something like that…” This leader probably isn’t an eidolon themselves. Maybe a stronger ghost that escaped from the Underworld somehow, although Yuri isn’t counting on that baseless guess.
“Um…” The eidolon sighs. “Yes. Very dangerous.”
Yuri’s blood goes cold. “Wait. What? Are you serious?”
“Can even… hurt us spirits.” The eidolon shudders. “If he doesn’t like the food… he gets mad.”
Okay. So this is starting to look a lot more troublesome than Yuri had estimated. He shares a look with Byleth, who only nods at him before picking up the pace, his steps growing more decisive. Yuri follows wordlessly, both relieved and anxious about this alleyway only being one long straight path rather than a winding, branching one; on one hand, they won’t get lost if they have to make a break for it, but on the other hand, neither will whoever will be chasing them.
Finally they reach the end of the alley, with only a flimsy, creaking barbed-wire fence separating it from the main street. Barely any light reaches in here, the nearest street lamps still too far away to properly illuminate the place; Byleth frowns and steps back slightly, drawing the Sword of the Creator and squinting in the darkness. “There’s…”
“Someone here? I figured as much.” Yuri activates Killing Edge as well, its weight still familiar in his grip even after a full day of handling mostly plastic trays and crumpled receipts. It’s too dark to properly make out, but he can see a vague shape sitting on the ground just before the wire fence, and he doesn’t wait for Byleth before taking long, confident strides closer. “Hey, eidolon leader. Show’s over. Come out peacefully and—”
“Yuri!” a terribly familiar voice calls.
Yuri almost trips on air. “What the—Ashe!”
The kidnapped demigod himself runs out of the darkness, fast enough that he’s barely more than a gray blur, and wraps his arms around Yuri’s middle in a tight hug that Yuri returns, albeit with slightly more difficulty than usual considering he’s holding a sword in one hand. “Are you hurt? What happened to you? You wouldn’t be caught so easily—”
“I’m fine!” Ashe declares, drawing back slightly to look up at Yuri. Yuri immediately wonders if there’s some sort of mind-control going on here, but he doesn’t seem to be possessed by an eidolon, or lying about himself, or… well, anything, really. Ashe looks the same as ever. “And who said I was caught? I went with this guy willingly. He’s not so bad, you know, I was just trying to convince him to change his ways.”
“Change… his ways?”
Something shifts in the darkness, and Yuri reflexively pushes Ashe behind him at the same time Byleth steps forward, lifting his sword—the red glow from the gem in the hilt flashes, giving off just enough light for Yuri to see the shadows shape into…
Yuri stares. “Wait a minute.”
“Heeeey! I remember you!” the boy exclaims, jabbing a clawed finger at Yuri. “You’re the McDonald’s guy from a while ago, right?”
“You…” Yuri doesn’t know what to say. “The high-schooler… and the raw meat?”
There’s no mistaking it—standing in front of them is the high-school student from earlier that day, the one Yuri had mistaken for a werewolf when he ordered almost-raw meat for his burgers. He hadn’t shied away when Yuri had brought a silver ring close to him… but, wait a minute. Yuri had brushed against one of his friends, not this boy himself. Could it be that…?
The boy grins, baring those sharp canines again. “Yeah! Man, don’t tell me you’re a demigod too? Sheesh, they sure get around these days. Since when did they work as waiters in McDonald’s?”
“Shut up.” Yuri exchanges a look with Byleth, who nods. Lycanthropes are harder to deal with than regular monsters, since they can’t be hurt by the usual materials of imperial gold, but Yuri still has the silver ring Ashe had stolen for him earlier (yeah, he’d liked how it looked on his fingers, sue him). If the three of them work together to subdue this guy, placing the ring somewhere where it’ll hurt should be no problem.
But Byleth’s barely taken another step forward before Ashe is hurrying between them, waving his hands frantically. “Wait, wait! We don’t have to fight!”
Byleth frowns. “Ashe, are you alright?”
“I’m fine! It’s not possession or mind control, seriously.” Ashe gestures at the werewolf, who doesn’t seem at all concerned about either of the swords aimed at him. “This is all just a big misunderstanding because the eidolons are… not so good at communicating—”
“Meh,” the eidolon behind Yuri and Byleth grumbles.
“—but just let me explain and it’ll make sense, I promise.”
“Well…” Yuri hesitates, seeing Byleth do the same beside him. The latter always has been the type to kill and ask questions never, especially considering his life on the run consisted of monsters trying to eat him every step of the way. But Ashe, while a bit naive, isn’t so gullible as to be easily swayed by any old scheming monster—he and Yuri had learned more than just how to escape from a fight while they were runaways too. If Ashe believes whatever this werewolf said, then it must be true. “Alright, fine,” he concedes, “but this better not be some weird trick you’re pulling on us.”
“Aw, don’t be like that.” The werewolf plops back down on the ground, absently picking his ear. Yuri’s nose is starting to itch again, damn allergies—he really hopes they finish this up quickly so they can go. “Okay, Ashe, you go tell ‘em.”
Ashe nods. “He, um, was turned just recently, but he hasn’t found a pack to stay with, so he’s kind of just living a normal life. He’s pretty powerful for a werewolf, though, but that means he also needs more food since he gets hungry quickly. That’s why he offered these wandering eidolons a chance at life again if they get him good food.”
A long pause. “Wait,” Yuri says, “that’s… it? That’s it?”
“I know!” Ashe sighs. “I thought it was way too simple at first, but… but, uh, that’s it, yeah. I think the monster sightings Seteth reported were mostly the eidolons, since the full moon is still in a week from now. But don’t worry about that!” he hurries to add, once Byleth’s frown deepens. “If he has enough food, he’ll just transform in this alleyway and eat all the hoarded food. Although the eidolons might need to get him a lot of steak…”
Honestly… what the hell is this? Yuri runs a hand down his face, feeling a headache coming on. “So you’re saying we should get back to Seteth and tell him that we’re just gonna let a werewolf and his eidolon friends steal food.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’ll stick to them high-end restaurants,” the werewolf says, snickering to himself. “Even if it don’t really taste much better than the shit in fast food places.”
“I’m… still not sure about this,” Yuri says, slowly.
“Shouldn’t it be fine?” Ashe asks, his voice growing softer and more unsure. “He’s a bit… tricky, but he doesn’t want to hurt anyone. That’s why he keeps eating, so he staves off the urge to bite other humans… and he doesn’t have parents either, they chased him out when they found out about him.” He worries on his lower lip, then looks up at Yuri. “He sort of reminded me of us.”
…Man, he had to say that.
Yuri sighs and lowers his sword, just a bit. It’s true, the werewolf’s situation reminds Yuri of how he and Ashe had been when they were younger, before they’d found Camp Half-Blood—no parents, no one to help them other than themselves, resorting to stealing just to get by. He doesn’t know much about lycanthropes, only that they’re formidable if often misunderstood monsters, but at the same time, they were humans too.
Again, he glances to the side, unsurprised to find Byleth already looking at him. Byleth tilts his head ever so slightly, and then, of all things, gives Yuri a small smile.
Not for the first time, nor the last, Yuri curses Aphrodite kids.
“You both are way too soft,” Yuri grumbles. Killing Edge reverts back into the ring on his hand, and Ashe’s glum expression instantly brightens in realization. “Okay, fine, but in return I’m not gonna help you explain all this to Seteth. You’re on your own there.”
“Right! Okay!” Ashe responds, even if fear had clearly crossed his face for a second there. “Um, I guess these might be my last few hours alive then… but anyway, thank you so much, Yuri, Byleth!” He turns back to his new werewolf best friend with a brilliant smile. “Did you hear that? Everything’s fine! You just have to promise not to hurt any humans—oh, and yeah, you better only stick to rich places. It’s not good to steal from people who might also need the food!”
“Mm… ‘kay,” the werewolf mumbles, giving Yuri and Byleth a suspicious look before shooting them a toothy (fang-y?) grin. “Well, s’not like I was all that worried. Even if you tried to take me on, I woulda won.”
Byleth, who had been in the middle of reverting his sword back into its earring form, immediately tightens his grip on the handle. “Haha, okay, put that away now,” Yuri laughs, smacking Byleth’s hands. “If we’re done here, Ashe, let’s get going. It’s late and you’re probably trying not to collapse snoring on the ground right now.”
“A—Am not,” Ashe says, visibly fighting back a yawn. “But, yes, okay. The quicker we get back to camp, the quicker I can explain this to Seteth…”
Camp… Yuri sighs. He bids goodbye to the eidolon who had brought them here—they only give him an awkward nod—before the three of them squeeze back out into the narrow alleyway that Ashe helpfully shortens the distance of. Damn, Yuri has missed the convenience of that particular power. But at last, this night has come to an end, and he can finally have some well-deserved rest back at… camp…
“Wait, fuck!” he swears, jumping up and nearly kicking a trash bin over. “McDonald’s!”
Byleth stares at him. “What?”
“McDonald’s. My shift. Ohhh, gods.” Yuri runs a hand through his mussed hair, tempted to bring Killing Edge back out just to look at his reflection in the blade. “I gotta get back, I totally forgot. That place is, like, devoid of employees, holy shit—”
“Okay, I’ll go with you,” Byleth instantly offers.
“Really? You’d fry patties for me?”
“I don’t know what those are, but yes, absolutely.”
Yuri pulls him down and kisses him—Ashe makes an audible sound of disgust and turns away, the drama queen. “Guys, we’re in public,” he hisses, although Yuri barely registers the words when Byleth tilts his head and kisses back, one hand coming up to stroke Yuri’s jaw.
It only lasts for the briefest of seconds, unfortunately, as Yuri isn’t stupid enough to make out with the guy in the middle of the streets; he draws back, just enough to catch Byleth’s flushed, dazed expression. “Okay, it can’t be that hard,” Yuri says, more to convince himself than anyone else. “You just put the meat… on the… grill. And then it cooks. You know, I’m sure you learn best through experience, let’s just go! Ashe, can you get us back there?”
Ashe sighs. “In return,” he says, very definitely mocking Yuri’s earlier words, “don’t ever let me see something like that again.”