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There are two things everyone needs to know about Min Yoongi: he loves his job, and he’s having a terrible day today.
The problem is that he’s having a terrible day, because of something happening at his job.
Yoongi is the head zookeeper at a small zoo, catering to about three thousand people per day. They have close to three hundred different animal species in their zoo and they’re all closely cared for by the conservationists who work there. Unfortunately, their marketing department had insisted on advertising the ability to get close to a lot of the animal due to the way the gates are set up. That had been a major mistake when it came to people, but it had definitely brought in more money. Yoongi couldn’t argue with more money because it meant more resources to care for the animals.
But today, he was definitely going to argue about something.
“Yoongi, come in”
“This is Yoongi.”
“Hey Yoon, I’ve got reports of someone going around the close-up enclosures and kissing the animals.”
“THEY’RE WHAT?!”
Normally, Yoongi would spend most of the zoo’s open hours in his office, which is where he was when Namjoon, one of his coworkers, radioed in about the animal kisser. It was only noon, he hadn’t even had his third cup of coffee yet, and he was about to have to grab security and threaten someone within an inch of their life if they had the audacity to even touch any of his weaker babies.
Yoongi switched his radio over to the security channel, taking a deep breath before radioing in for Jungkook.
“ Jungkook, come in.”
“This is Jungkook.”
“Have you got an eye on this person?”
“No boss, Namjoon told me he was last seen near the ermine pen, headed towards the flamingos.”
Yoongi slowly massaged his temples mapping the zoo out in his mind. “Meet me near the howler monkeys. He might be headed for the petting zoo.”
“Aye aye captain.”
Today was not going to be a good day if he was headed for the petting zoo.
The only time Yoongi heads into the park is if there’s a problem with one of the animals. Jimin, one of the people who worked in marketing, was strolling through the corridor when Yoongi nearly ran headfirst into him.
“Where you headed chief, is there an animal problem?”
Yoongi sighed and straightened his clothes out a little bit. He definitely felt the pressure of some idiot deciding to traipse around his zoo and kiss his animals. “Just some idiot guest who has decided he’s going to kiss as many animals as he can. Jungkook and I are going to try to stop him.”
Jimin looked alarmed, but saluted Yoongi and let him pass. “Go get ‘em!”
The zoologist bolted out into the crowd of people. This animal kisser had of course picked a Saturday to intrude on his sacred park.
“Yoongi, come in.”
“Yoongi here.”
“ I just heard a kid yell at someone near the reptiles.”
“If he kisses the tortoise I’m going to call the actual cops.”
“Grab a golf cart.” Jungkook was running, his voice jostling over the radio. “I’ll meet you there.”
In spite of the security guard being younger than him, Yoongi knew himself better than to try to run to the reptile house and prove the kid wrong. He grabbed one of the zookeeper carts and raced towards the other end of the park.
What kind of delusional human being thinks going around and kissing zoo animals? That was all he could think of as he sped away. A lot of the animals in the zoo were in bad shape, there because they needed rehabilitation or wouldn’t survive in the wild. Some of them were on the verge of extinction and had been successful between zoo breeding programs but if they were hurt or made sick by a person that could mean the end of a species. What kind of INSANE PERSON?! WOULD DO THAT?!
Yoongi pulled in and parked next to the reptile house where Jungkook was already waiting for him. “Where is he?”
“He’s already gone. Someone pointed me towards the petting zoo, and said the guy had mentioned alpacas.” Jungkook was already calling in someone else in security to go through the video footage.
“I’m going to call the vets in to check any animals you guys have footage of him touching. Let’s go find this dick.” The pair went running towards the petting zoo, both unprepared for what they were about to walk into. Yoongi was huffing and puffing when they made their way through the gate to see a tall man with broad shoulders kissing the alpaca, RJ, on the nose.
“HEY! Quit kissing the animals!” The zookeeper yelled as loudly as he could muster, garnering a reaction out of the man. He jumped and turned around with wide eyes.
It was then that Yoongi knew he was fucked. He was insanely hot, and obviously flustered.
“Step away from the alpaca, sir. We need you to come with us.” This was Jungkook’s job after all, but we? Why bring Yoongi into this? He didn’t need to be in the security office with this man, let alone in the golf cart with him. The animals were Yoongi’s problem, not the guests.
“Okay, okay. Alpaca my bags and come without a peep. I toucan’t believe you caught me.”
“Oh. My GOD.” Yoongi was suddenly struggling with a combination of laughter and fury. “Why were you kissing my animals? Why are you so hot? Why are you making puns?! What is wrong with today?”
“Yoongi, do you need me to call Namjoon?” Jungkook was trying to walk the guy away from the petting zoo and other guests, but he was now doubled over, laughing at a red-faced Yoongi.
“No, I’m coming with you. I need some answers.” And maybe his number. No, NO! Absolutely not.
On the drive over, Jungkook and Yoongi had learned that the man’s name was Seokjin, and that he was a local to the area who grew up coming to the zoo when it was much smaller. When they arrived back in the security office, they finally came to asking the real questions.
“Why were you kissing the animals?” Yoongi was the first one to approach the question.
“My kid cousin dared me to film myself doing it. If I didn’t, he wanted me to buy him a PS5 and I don’t have that kind of money!”
Yoongi was still fighting with himself, trying not to be entertained.
“Sir, you realize that if any of the animals were injured or made sick during your escapades, we would sue you.” Jungkook was obviously not intimidated or attracted to Seokjin in the least; he was much more composed than Yoongi. Yoongi the head zookeeper. Yoongi, the man who was basically the boss around here.
But Seokjin seemed to understand the younger’s words. “I’m really sorry. I understand that… Will… Will they be okay?”
“Their vets have all been contacted and we’ll be doing some check-ups.” Yoongi finally piped up. “They should be fine, but if they’re not, we will need your information in order to contact you.”
He nodded, hanging his head. “Of course. Do you have a sheet of paper I can write all down on?”
After the fiasco was over, and Seokjin had been officially banned from the zoo for six months with a strike down permanently on his contact information in their system, Yoongi collapsed into the chair opposite Jungkook.
“You do realize that all of his contact information would already be in the system because he bought a ticket, right?” Jungkook raised an eyebrow at the elder.
“Oh yeah, but he obviously didn’t.” Yoongi pocketed his info, smiling a little bit to himself.
“You are so not slick.” The younger rolled his eyes, kicking him from under the desk. “Go, make sure the animals are okay.” Yoongi nodded and stood up from the desk. “Oh, and by the way?”
“Hm?”
“Don’t sneak him in on a date. I don’t want to have to put you on suspension.”
“Shut up, Jungkook!”