Chapter Text
When was the last time I laughed?
Taehyung peered through the blinds of his bedroom, his eyes traveling to the sparkling water of the pond below, the orange-and-red hues of the sky reflecting on its rippling surface. He hummed as the joyous laughter of the children playing filled his ears. Happiness was music to him.
Since when was his music box broken?
The man sighed, letting go of the blinds and sitting back down on his bed, the book he had abandoned minutes before still open on the page that made him look outside.
“‘There is always something to smile about, you just have to look,’ huh?” Taehyung muttered to himself, a finger tracing over the line. He let out a sigh, eyes half-lidded as he shut the book and placed it on his bedside table. “What am I supposed to look for when I’ve already seen everything there is to see?”
Being what he was meant to be subjected to an eternity of solitude. Taehyung could never figure out why some people choose to live as vampires. Was it the fact that they were going to stay young forever? Was it because they’ll be able to accomplish more, now that they have unlimited time? He thought the same way at first. But now that he had lived more than 2,000 human years, he craved the ecstasy of living. Being immortal felt like a slow, endless train ride, rather than the thrilling roller coaster people thought it was. You see all these people outside the window, and as you loop around time and time again, you see them change, while you remain seated, still looking for your destination.
Was there even a destination in the first place?
Taehyung hated days where he wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t been turned. Of course, he knew the outcome—he would’ve died like any human would have. Every time he wished for the time he was a human, he thought about how he was throwing away Seokjin’s efforts. The man had been an older brother and father to him throughout the years. Taehyung could still remember the day he turned.
Before Taehyung, there was Hansung, the beloved only child of two farmers. They weren’t nobility, but despite the constant battle against poverty, the family of three was as happy as can be. Hansung helped around the farm at a young age. But as his parents only managed to conceive him when they were in their 40s, they treasured him so much that he grew up rather sheltered for their social status.
But a child’s curiosity cannot be contained. Whenever his parents would work in the fields or sell their harvest, Hansung, at 13 years old, would sneak out and explore the nearby forest. He would always come back before the sun set. One day, during one of his expeditions , Hansung had lost his trail. He had wandered too deep into the forest and had lost his way. Every sound he heard terrified him.
What if I don’t find my way home? He thought to himself, clutching onto the flowers he picked to add to his hidden collection.
Hansung started tearing up when he saw that the sun was disappearing from the sky. He was scared. He started regretting leaving the safety and comfort of his home. He had been walking for what seemed like forever when he heard a rustle. Hansung stopped in his tracks, not knowing what to do. He had been told that wild animals were likely to chase after moving prey, so he stayed still, keeping his eye on the bushes where the sound had come from. Another rustle came and he couldn’t stop his knees from giving in. Hansung fell to the ground with a thud, tears cascading down his cheeks as he waited for the animal to pounce.
But nothing happened. Instead of a growl or a hiss, he heard a yawn. The sound was followed by a man emerging from behind the greenery, stretching his arms. It looked as though he hadn’t noticed Hansung until the boy whimpered.
“Huh?” The man turned to Hansung, surprised. “What are you doing in the forest, child?”
Hansung couldn’t answer. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding… and then he sobbed. The stranger was taken aback, but his expression was nothing but soft and worried. He saw the flowers in the child’s hand.
“You are a child of the Seok family, are you not?” The man stood up, brushing the dirt and leaves from his clothing before slowly approaching the petrified and wailing boy. “What brings such a young boy like you this deep into the forest at this time of the day?”
Hansung felt a weight on his head, halting his cries. He looked up and was immediately greeted with the warm smile of the strange man, crouching in front of him and patting his head lightly.
“I…” He muttered through his hiccups. “I have always been alone in our home. My parents do not want me to help them in the field, but…”
“You felt lonely, did you not?” Hansung nodded as he sniffled, trying to keep the tears at bay. The man hummed, standing up and offering his hand. “Hyung will take you home. They must be worried about you. Do not fret, I will be with you.”
Hansung stared at the outstretched hand for a few seconds before holding onto it and dragging himself up to his feet. The two then started their trek back out of the forest.
“Your hand is cold, mister,” Hansung said, looking up at the older man, who chuckled.
“Ah, is it? I apologize… ah, what is your name?”
“Hansung.”
“Alright, Hansung. I am Seokjin. I will be your hyung from today onwards.”
The two arrived at the Seok residence just as Hansung’s frantic parents were leaving to look for their prized child. Just as Seokjin promised, he stayed with the boy as he told them his feelings; he told them that he felt lonely, that he wanted to help his parents and spend time with them. With his new friend’s help, Hansung was then allowed to help in the fields. He would help in the morning, but he would come home and study with Seokjin. That had been their arrangement for years, and it was something the two friends treasured.
At the age of 23, Hansung started to notice the oddities surrounding his hyung.
Seokjin had no family. In fact, he avoided the topic altogether. Hansung had never been to the older’s home. The man would always say it’s too far away, and yet he was always there whenever the boy would return from working in the fields. Seokjin seemed to know everything about early Silla as if he were there when the events happened. He dismisses it as his love for literature and history. But the thing that bothered Hansung the most was how it seemed as though the man never ages.
“Hyung,” Hansung called out as they prepared dinner like they always did after studying. “I do wish to visit your home one day.”
Seokjin paused from chopping the vegetables to look up at the boy. He always had a smile on his face, but the one he was showing at the time bothered Hansung. It looked… sad.
“There is no merit in visiting an old man’s abode, Hansung,” Seokjin said, returning his gaze to the abandoned ingredients. The boy was about to prod further when the older continued. “But, shall I bring you there?”
Hansung’s face lit up. “Yes! I would like to learn more about you, hyung!”
Seokjin’s grip on the knife tightened, but he kept his composure and simply laughed. “Do you promise to stay by my side, no matter what you learn about me?”
“Of course, hyung. You have been with me all this time,” Hansung grinned. Seokjin’s eyes twitched as he felt as though he was doing a crime by ruining the child’s perspective of the world. “I will stay with you, just as you have been doing with me!”
“Tomorrow then.” Seokjin looked back at the eyes filled with curiosity and wonder. He was terrified, but he couldn’t let the boy know that. He loved the child as though he was his own, and if he were going to be by his side for a long time, he was going to have to entrust him with his darkest secrets.
But tomorrow never came; at least, not for the village where the Seok family resided.
Just as he normally would, Seokjin started to travel from the forest to the village before dusk. The sky was painted with oranges and reds, it would be akin to a flame. The man had gathered all the courage he could. He was prepared for the look of fear and the rejection that would come after… at least, that’s what he wanted to believe. Seokjin came to love the family he found through Hansung. He knew that if he were to lose the child he saw as his son, it would hurt worse than death.
It reeks of death… My imagination is running rampant. Seokjin thought to himself, scrunching his nose before he snapped his head up towards where the village would be.
It reeked of death?
He ran as fast as he could, the oranges and reds were now more intense as the thatch roofs smoked and burned. The closer he got, the louder the screams seemed to be. Seokjin had to stop a few times to help the humans he came across, but his mind raced.
Daesung… Chung Cha… Hansung… His mind recited over and over. He ran deeper into the village where the Seok residence stood.
Or was supposed to be.
Seokjin stopped in his tracks, eyes wide and lips quivering as the home he came to love burned. A few soldiers would try to shove him, but through his anger and anguish, he snapped their necks mindlessly, eyes barely leaving the home engulfed in flames.
“Mama… Papa…” Seokjin perked up as he heard broken whispers from within. He steeled himself and dove into the fire, hissing at the burning sensation.
“Hansung!” He called out, narrowing his eyes as he searched for the boy through the smoke. “Hansung! Can you hear me!?”
“H-Hyung…” Seokjin whipped his head around and spotted the boy underneath two bodies and a collapsed part of the house. “Hyung… help us. P-Please…”
The man wasted no time to get the burning wood off of the three. He briefly froze as he smelled the charred flesh and blood of the adults. He could no longer hear their breathing. Seokjin grit his teeth and pushed the limp bodies off Hansung. He carefully pulled the boy up and carried him in his arms.
“Hansung, hyung is here. You will be safe, I promise,” Seokjin cried, eyeing the boy’s parents. They had protected their son at the cost of their life. It felt as though Seokjin lost his own parents. He then turned his attention back to the injured, barely conscious boy in his arms. “Hyung has never broken a promise, yes? We will be okay.” Seokjin said, reassuring himself more than he intended to reassure the boy.
“Hyung… save mama and papa…” Hansung whispered as he was carried out of the burning house.
Seokjin ran back into the forest, desperate to get Hansung away from the smoke and the tyranny of the soldiers. When he was sure that they were deep into the forest, enough for no one to spot them, he carefully laid Hansung down on the ground.
“Hyung… it hurts…” Hansung cried, voice hoarse and weak. “Hyung, please make it go away… it hurts…”
Seokjin bit his lip, eyes shimmering as tears pooled. He didn’t want Hansung to die. He can’t let him die, but living in solitude for eternity was more of a punishment for any man.
But Seokjin chose to be selfish. He didn’t want any more painful experiences. He didn’t want to lose anyone else.
“Hyung will make it go away, Hansung,” he said, his canines growing longer and sharper. “It will hurt an awful lot more, but it will go away afterward. Do you trust hyung?”
“Hyung… please, it hurts… it hurts so much…” Hansung sobbed, barely having any strength to move his fingers.
Seokjin couldn’t take the cries anymore. The tears in his eyes fell as he held onto Hansung’s hand, rubbing it gently with his signature warm smile. When the boy saw it, he felt peace. He didn’t know if he was coming to terms with his death or not, but he felt at peace when he saw that he wasn’t alone.
And then there was a piercing, burning sensation that started from his wrist. Hansung’s eyes widened as he watched Seokjin sink his teeth into his wrist. It was a blinding pain that made his vision go white. He fumbled with his words as he scratched Seokjin's arms with his free hand, begging the older to stop.
“It will be okay soon, Hansung,” Seokjin whispered after he had let go of the boy’s arm. The boy had gone limp, his heart freezing to a halt.
The vampire cried, picking up the boy and holding onto him for dear life. He knew that Hansung was going to wake up sooner or later, but it didn’t lessen the pain of having to take away his humanity, his life, his innocence, and time. It didn’t lessen the pain of seeing him die in his arms.
“Hyung will be here when you wake up, so rest well for now.”
Taehyung snapped out of his stupor when he heard someone knock on his bedroom door. With nostalgia-glazed eyes, he quickly opened the door and was met by Seokjin’s smile.
“Taehyung! I got you some books that you might want to re—is something the matter?” Seokjin furrowed his eyebrows, worried that the younger one seemed rather out of it. “Are you hungry? Have you eaten today? You seem off - ”
“Hyung, I’m fine,” Taehyung shook his head as he chuckled, taking the books out of the other’s hands. “I just… zoned out.”
Seokjin’s features softened. He closed the door behind him. Taehyung watched as he walked towards the bed, making himself comfortable and patting the spot next to him. The younger vampire snorted, placing the books on his desk before sitting down next to his hyung.
“What’s wrong?” Seokjin asked, being as soft as he possibly could to avoid upsetting the other.
Taehyung wasn’t the type to tell people what he was worried about. He kept it to himself—it was a sort of defense mechanism. At first, Seokjin was glad that he had grown cautious over the years. As Hansung, he had been far too trusting. It seemed as though anger and skepticism wasn’t a part of him. As he experienced more of the world as a vampire, Taehyung had grown accustomed to the darkest depths of humanity. He had experienced countless fights that could have been resolved without bloodshed. He had seen people use others for their own selfish gains. He hated indulging in the self-centered nature of humanity.
Seokjin was proud of him for learning more about the world, but just as Taehyung avoided humanity and their insatiable thirst for everything, he had built a wall between him and Seokjin—a wall the older feared was fortified by his own selfishness and greed.
When Hansung woke up as a vampire, Seokjin felt relief and happiness. Deep down inside, there was the bubbling guilt from granting the boy the curse of immortality. Even if he had told the older vampire that he wasn’t angry or afraid, Seokjin could still see the sadness and emptiness in the boy’s eyes as they buried Hansung and his parents in the forest, right next to Seokjin. It was the “home” he had intended to show.
“Hyung, what happened to you?” Hansung had asked as he stared at the place where he had been buried.
“What had happened to me was the same as what happened to you, Hansung,” Seokjin crouched down, placing a hand on the pile of stones atop Hansung’s parents. “When I saw what was happening, it felt as though I was reliving what transpired 80 years ago. I was turned with the intention of killing me.”
Seokjin looked up at Hansung, who had been biting back sobs the whole time. He smiled at the younger.
“I intended to make you stay with me, as we have been doing in earlier years, but I understand if you have hatred in your heart for my failure to protect your family and for… this. If your will is to leave, then so be it.”
Hansung shook his head, turning to Seokjin, tears free-falling from his eyes. “I promised you I would stay by your side, hyung. I am not afraid, nor am I feeling any hatred. I will stay with you.”
“Hansung—” Seokjin was cut off by the other, shaking his head once again.
“Hansung is dead, hyung,” he turned to the pile of rocks that symbolized the death of his time as a mortal. “He is right there, under the pile of rocks. The one standing here now is someone who simply looks like him.”
Seokjin’s eyes widened as the newly-turned vampire walked away from the graves, from the life he could have lived, and from his humanity.
Taehyung sighed, feeling small under the older vampire’s gaze. He was appreciative of how caring Seokjin had been all these years, but he couldn’t help but want him to continue living as he used to before he had met the foolish Hansung.
Noticing the change in the younger’s expression, Seokjin stopped himself from asking further questions. He patted Taehyung’s head, giving him a soft, understanding smile before he stood up and drew the blinds from the window.
“Taehyung, why don’t you go outside? The snow has thickened, so people have left for their homes. I think some time outside would help you clear your mind,” Seokjin said before he turned to leave the room. He sighed as he took one last glance at Taehyung. “I won’t press you to tell me what’s wrong, but just… remember I’m here for you, okay?”
Taehyung nodded, trying to hide a pain-stricken expression. That was the type of person his hyung was, so selfless and kind.
He hated it.
Taehyung laid down on the ground, the snow crunching as his body pressed against the cold ground. He watched the snowflakes trickling down from the sky and the white puffs of air for every breath he let out. Eyes half-lidded, he raised his hand up to the air.
When was the last time I felt cold? He thought to himself.
The serene silence of the park was interrupted by a small gasp, followed by hurried footsteps towards him. Before he could sit up and look at whoever it was, his hand was enveloped with warmth. His eyes widened as the sensation made the numbness he felt slither away.
“Are you okay?!” The human asked voice laced with worry.
Taehyung’s eyes darted from their hands to the face of this… warmth. He was met with cat-like eyes, furrowed eyebrows, rosy cheeks, and slightly-parted pink lips. The vampire couldn’t help but stare. He has lived for 2,000 years, but he had never encountered anyone or anything quite as beautiful as this man.
“M-Mister, can you hear me? I’m gonna call an ambulance, okay?” The man bit his lip as he loosened his grip on the other’s hand. Taehyung chased the warmth, grabbing onto them again.
“I’m okay,” the vampire whispered, eyes still scanning over the human’s features. When he felt the human fidget, he added: “Sorry, it’s just that…”
You look beautiful.
“...your hands are warm.”
The human’s panicked expression softened as he held onto the other tightly. With his free hand, he unraveled the scarf wrapped around his neck.
“You should stand up,” he said with a smile. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay out here.”
Taehyung hummed, regretfully letting go of the human as he sat up. He then felt soft fabric on his nape. He looked down and saw the black scarf the man was wearing. He turned to the man, who had a small smile on his face.
“You’re wearing thin clothes. You’ll get sick at this rate, so wear that at the least and don’t lie down on the snow again, okay?”
Taehyung mindlessly nodded as the man stood up and dusted the snow from his pants. The human bowed before turning to leave.
“Wait!” Taehyung called out before he could even think. The man stopped, raising an eyebrow. “W-What’s your name? I… I have to return this to you, right?”
The man was silent for a while, head tilted as he thought about what the other said. Then… he laughed. Taehyung felt his chest tighten at the sound of his laughter. If he thought that happiness was music to his ears, then this man’s laughter was a whole orchestra. Emotions welled up inside him, and he didn’t understand why.
“You’re right!” The man said in-between laughs. “I was trying to be cool, but then I totally forgot about that part.”
Taehyung smiled, hand caressing the scarf on his neck.
“I’m Yoongi. Min Yoongi. I work around here, so you might see me again soon!” The human grinned, cheeks redder than before. “What’s your name?”
“Ah, I’m Han—” Taehyung paused, surprised at himself. Why was he going to say his human name?
Hansung’s dead. He died in Silla. You’re no longer that person.
He stared at Yoongi, whose eyes were filled with curiosity. The vampire exhaled through his nose and gave the human a bittersweet, tight-lipped smile.
“My name is Taehyung.”
Yoongi silently repeated the name, smiling after he had muttered it a few times.
“Alright! I’ll remember you now,” he chuckled, cheeks flaring up as though they had been burnt. “I’m bad at remembering stuff, but I’ll remember you.”
Taehyung felt a sharp jab on his chest when Yoongi waved and started trekking back to… wherever he was going. The vampire placed a hand on the scarf that was hanging on his neck. He was going to remember Taehyung. To Yoongi, it might’ve been a passing comment, but to the other, it meant the world to him. Nobody remembers Hansung, nobody knows Taehyung, yet here came a human who said his name oh-so sweetly, as though engraving it in his mind.
For the first time in a long time, Taehyung grew impatient. He wanted to see him again.