Work Text:
“J-Jimin please”
Yoongi was shaking as he stood in front of his boyfriend, looking down at him with tears in his eyes, looking so pitiful that Jimin felt a pang of guilt in his chest.
“Yoongi..”
“Please! Please don't leave me”
“Yoon..”
“Just tell me what I did wrong, please, I promise I will change, I will be better. Just.. please”
Yoongi knew he looked pathetic but he didn’t care. He couldn’t lose Jimin.
Their relationship had been so smooth for four years, since the beginning of college and until now, when they were both working in their desired fields. Yoongi was an elementary school teacher and Jimin worked at a dance studio that his friend owned. Everything was perfect. Until today.
Jimin had walked in, seeing his boyfriend sat at the coffee table with the light of the laptop illuminating his beautiful features. He looked so peaceful, so ethereal, it made him feel so guilty for what he had done. For a few moments, he just stood silently by the door, admiring the way Yoongi’s soft pink lips curled into a soft pout as he planned out his next lesson with the kids. He had always found that so beautiful. He would put so much effort into each and every lesson, never missing a day to spend with his class, he adored those children and Jimin loved that about him. He would always listen to his soft ramblings about the kids each night, telling Jimin funny stories about what had happened with his students, a bright and gummy grin plastered on his face.
Tears welled in Jimin’s eyes as he thought about their beautiful nights but he couldn’t live in a web of lies anymore, he had to come clean to Yoongi.
“Baby..”
“Oh! Jiminie! You’re home earlier than usual!”
Yoongi’s voice was chirpy, full of energy as he rose to his feet to greet Jimin with a kiss. Just like everyday. Except, Jimin turned his head away before their lips could meet, seeing the confusion glow in Yoongi’s eyes as he did but before his boyfriend could ask any questions, Jimin spoke up again.
“Can we talk? I need to tell you something”
“Huh? Yeah, okay Minnie. Is everything okay?”
Jimin didn’t respond, he didn’t even nod, he just moved to sit down on the sofa with Yoongi. For once, Jimin didn't wrap his arms around Yoongi or pull him close, they sat across from each other, tension thick in the air.
Yoongi felt like he was suffocating. He had an uneasy feeling in his stomach and he could feel his hands beginning to tremble with nerves, he could tell what Jimin needed to say was important yet the way he was hesitating caused nausea to settle in the pit of Yoongi’s stomach.
“I..”
Jimin took a deep breath, looking into Yoongi’s eyes, seeing the tears in their brown beauty made Jimin’s heart ache for him. But not in the way that it used to. It never went the way it was supposed to. The world was a cruel thing.
“I don’t love you anymore, Yoongi”
Yoongi’s world collapsed. His mouth felt dry and all air in his lungs was long gone, all he could do was choke back tears, frozen in his seat. This had to be a joke, right? It had to be.
“T-tell me you’re joking. Y-you are so funny Jiminie, b-but please don’t joke like this”
Yoongi was waiting for Jimin to say sike, tell him that it was just another one of his silly jokes that he sometimes pulls over him because of how oblivious and trusting he was. It had to be a joke, Jimin could’t just.. Not love him anymore. Jimin was Yoongi’s everything. He didn’t know what he would do without him.
But it never came. Jimin looked down at his lap, curling his hands into fists and the silence is what finally broke Yoongi, the tears breaking through the walls of his eyes, flowing freely down his face, mirroring his heartbreak.
“W-Why?!” Yoongi sobbed and Jimin shakily sighed, finally lifting his head to look at Yoongi. He hated seeing him cry.
“Theres.. There is someone else, right?”
Yoongi suddenly said, voice quieter, vulnerable and just so broken. Jimin choked on a breath but just nodded in shame.
“I-It’s Namjoon..”
Namjoon. Yoongi’s closest friend. The one person besides Seokjin who had always been by Yoongi’s side.
“W-what? Jimin.. No, no, please”
“I’m sorry..”
“No!” Yoongi screamed, heartbroken.
“J-Jimin please”
Yoongi was shaking as he stood in front of his boyfriend, looking down at him with tears in his eyes, looking so pitiful that Jimin felt a pang of guilt in his chest.
“Yoongi..”
“Please! Please don't leave me”
“Yoon..”
“Just tell me what I did wrong, please, I promise I will change, I will be better. Just.. please”
“You didn’t do anything wrong Yoon..”
“Then why? I’m sorry that I wasn’t enough for you Jimin, I’m so so sorry”
Yoongi was sobbing, his entire body shaking as the sad noises ripped through him. His heart had been ripped out and stomped on. Not only by his boyfriend but by Namjoon too. How could Namjoon do this to him? How could Jimin do this?
Yoongi was losing two of the most important people in his lives in one day. He couldn’t just accept that.
“Please Jimin, just lie to me. Tell me that you love me one more time, please, even if you have to lie. Please just don't go”
Yoongi was babbling, barely coherent as he begged Jimin. He fell to his knees in front of his boyfriend, well- ex boyfriend- and continued to sob, his head falling onto Jimin’s strong thighs, hands grabbing a hold of his calves.
“Please!” Yoongi screamed in agony, looking up at Jimin, his face a mess. His eyes were leaking tears like a cloud leaked rain in a storm, his skin red and blotchy.
“Im sorry Yoongi.. I can’t tell you that.. I can't lie to you” Jimin whimpered. He felt as though he didn’t deserve to cry; he was the one that was seeing Namjoon behind Yoongi’s back. He may not love Yoongi anymore but the teacher was his first true love and seeing him crying like this because of him broke his heart.
Yoongi sobbed harder as Jimin said this and he sat up slightly, no longer touching Jimin.
Of course Jimin liked Namjoon. Namjoon was perfect. He was passionate about music, just like Jimin was, and they were both damn good at it too. Namjoon was so handsome, he was tall, strong, he had amazing dimples, he always smelt good, had a beautiful fashion sense, just like Jimin. He was so smart, so kind, patient and loving..
Yoongi? Well he was none of that. All confidence that Jimin had helped Yoongi build over the years suddenly crumbled into nothing. He was pretty like Namjoon, he had no stand out features like Namjoon’s deep dimples or his warm eyes. He was just an average school teacher, a little too thin, cheeks too round, dressing like a teenage boy even in his 20s. Maybe it was good that Jimin was leaving. He would be happier that way. All it cost was Yoongi’s happiness and his heart but at least Jimin looked happier.
Even with the tears brimming in his eyes, Jimin looked as though the weight of the world had just been removed from his shoulders and it was so easy for Yoongi to see now. All this time, he had only been holding him back. Yoongi wanted to hate Jimin because he knew he would never stop hurting from this, Jimin was leaving a piece of his soul. But he knew that wasn’t true, no matter how much Jimin hurt him, Yoongi would always love him, even if it pained him to think of.
With that thought, Yoongi pushed himself to his feet and sighed shakily. He used the long sleeve of his shirt to wipe the tears that fell, to no avail as they only continued to roll down his cheeks as he smiled at Jimin.
“I’m sorry for holding you back all of these years..”
“Yoongi.. You never held me ba-”
“Jimin, please just.. Let me talk”
Jimin only nodded and nodded, remaining silent so that Yoongi could continue with what he was saying.
“I am sorry for never noticing how sad I was making you, even in this moment, your eyes look happier than they have in so long.”
Yoongi felt like everything was crumbling around him but he kept the brave face as he looked into Jimin’s eyes.
“You were my reason, my everything. Well, you always will be but I won’t be the one holding you back anymore. Nothing will be right without you but I just want you to be happy, Jimin-ah. That's all I have ever wanted. Just please.. Let me have one more night, one more night in your arms, one last kiss, then you can go but if you leave now-”
Yoongi stopped, letting out a quiet sob, tearing his eyes away from Jimin, looking down at the ground.
“If you leave now then.. Then I will be lost Jimin.. I just need one more night, just.. One last time.. Please”
Jimin nodded and got up from where he was still sitting on the sofa and he pulled Yoongi into a tight embrace. For Yoongi it felt like home but for Jimin it felt empty.
Jimin held Yoongi as the man cried into him, hands gently rubbing his back as he held him as close as he could, wanting to comfort him in some way, even though it was his fault that he was crying to begin with.
Jimin slowly stepped backwards until he was sat on the sofa again, this time having Yoongi’s body sat on him, his arms over his shoulder and legs around his waist, clinging to him like a little koala.. Namjoon’s favourite animal was a koala. Jimin subtly shook his head, he shouldn’t be thinking of Namjoon right then.
Yoongi clung onto Jimin for dear life because he knew this was the last time that he would get to do this, it would be the last time he got to hold onto Jimin. He buried his head in Jimin’s neck, just breathing in the musky scent of his cologne, not wanting to ever forget the way it smelt, the way Jimin held him, kissed him. He never wanted to lose it and now he was scared of forgetting the memories yet he knew as soon as Jimin left, they would be the things that would hurt him the most of all.
Yoongi didn’t move from that position for hours, the lesson plan long forgotten on the laptop. His tears had dried, not having any tears left in him to cry for that night. He felt dehydrated but he didn’t have the energy or the will to get out of Jimin’s lap to get anything to drink.
Dinner was forgotten between them both, neither of them having any appetite, or at least enough of one to eat a full meal. Instead they just spent their final evening in each other’s arms, enveloped in silence save for the occasional words ushered between them.
Eventually, Yoongi raised his head to look at Jimin again, holding his cheeks between his hands as he gazed into his eyes, such sweet eyes.
“Jimin.. Please.. Make love to me one last time?”
Part of Jimin knew that he should say no to such a request but his heart was longing for one last night of passion with Yoongi. He knew it would help Yoongi find closure as well.
“Let’s go up to the bedroom, baby”
Yoongi slid off of Jimin’s lap and walked upstairs to the bedroom, his pinky loosely intertwined with Jimin’s as a form of their breaking promise. It wasn’t much but at least Yoongi got close to holding Jimin’s warm hands again.
Lights off. They didn’t usually have sex in the dark, claiming that they wanted to see each other in the glow of the artificial lights but tonight, both of them wanted to hide in the blanket of darkness, wanted to get lost in the abyss and only focus on the touches.
Aside from usual, Jimin didn’t begin with a sweet kiss but rather moved right to kissing along Yoongi’s neck as he moved him to the bed. His hands moved to roam gently under the fabric of Yoongi’s hoodie, touching his cold torso with his warm hands, making said boy shiver.
It was all the same things, the same touches, the same Yoongi yet at the same time, everything was so different. Perhaps it was due to the looming thought circling through both of their minds. They were painfully aware that this was the last time they would ever get to do something like this together. Jimin was looking forward to getting out, despite how guilty he felt towards Yoongi. Said man was trying to hold onto each moment yet time seemed to be moving against them. Everything was too fast and Yoongi willed for it to just stop for a moment and let him take a single breath rather than suffocating him.
Sooner than he wished for, Yoongi felt his back fall onto the mattress of their bed, the very bed they had shared so many memories. Before Yoongi could lay his head back, he rose his arms up, letting Jimin take off the hoodie he had been wearing, only to have it fall to the floor as he laid down with his head on the pillow.
“J-Jiminie”
“It’s okay baby boy, I’ve got you”
“I know”
For now. Jimin only had him for now. This was the last time that they would have each other.
Yoongi was scared, he wanted this more than anything but he was scared because he knew as soon as it was over, he wouldn’t have Jimin anymore.
Jimin looked at Yoongi for a few minutes, barely being able to make out the curves of his body thanks to the dark lighting within the room but he still leant down to kiss along Yoongi’s chest, feeling Yoongi’s back arch up towards his mouth, making him smile slightly. Yoongi truly was beautiful.
Slowly, Jimin curled his tongue around one of Yoongi’s nipples, fully aware of how sensitive the buds were. Yoongi let out a sweet moan, moving one hand to Jimin’s hair, just lightly playing with the strands between his fingers, knowing how much he was going to miss this.
Jimin’s hand moved to Yonongi’s nipples, knowing that it felt good and in this moment, that was his main priority.
Using his teeth, Jimin lightly nippled on Yoongi’s nipple, rubbing the other one between his thumb and finger. He kept up these ministrations for a little while before sitting up, looking down at Yoongi, faintly seeing the blush dusting his cheeks, causing a small smile to etch onto his features. Slowly, he moved his hand down Yoongi’s body, pressing his hand into the bulge on his sweatpants, making the man arch again with a quiet, breathy moan. Jimin knew just the amount of pressure to add to make Yoongi feel wonderful.
Yoongi lifted his hips up, looking at Jimin, silently inviting him to take his trousers off, which Jimin happily obliged with. Jimin pulled off Yoongi’s trousers, taking his time to roam his fingers along the soft skin of his legs as he pulled down his underwear at the same time, soon leaving him completely bare, vulnerable for what was coming next.
“Jiminie” Yoongi’s voice was barely a whisper as he looked up at the fully clothed male, not seeing much of him thanks to the dim lighting but it was enough for him right then; at least it was something.
“Yes baby?”
Yoongi’s breath hitch slightly as Jimin called him baby, almost silently whimpering. He wouldn’t get to hear that much longer.. He wouldn’t be anyone’s baby, he would be all alone. He didn’t know what he was going to do.
“Please.. Let me see you too..”
The sadness in Yoongi’s voice made Jimin sigh but he leaned down, pressing his lips to Yoongi’s soft ones for just a few seconds, caressing Yoongi’s cheek gently, looking into his beautiful, deep brown eyes.
“Of course, baby”
Jimin stood up from the bed and started to strip off his clothes, not being able to bring himself to look at Yoongi, knowing that the older was looking at him.
Yoongi couldn’t look away. His eyes scanned down every inch of Jimin’s body, taking in every curve, each outline of his muscles, the gem on his belly button, the dark ink that stained his ribs, everything, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him. He didn’t want to forget this sight, ever. He wished he could remember it forever yet he knew he couldn’t and that hurt so badly, so much so that it felt as though his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on by Jimin’s expensive boots.
Jimin’s clothes were soon on the floor and Yoongi was speechless, Jimin truly was gorgeous. He hoped that Namjoon would appreciate and treasure him in the ways that he deserves and more.
Climbing back onto the bed, Jimin sat between Yoongi’s open thighs and finally grabbed the lube and a condom, not wanting to make a mess, despite Yoongi’s whine of protest. Jimin just gently shushed him with a gentle, fleeting kiss.
The lube was cold as Jimin spread the substance onto his fingers, rubbing them together to warm it up a little bit before rubbing the pads of his fingertips against Yoongi’s puckering hole.
Yoongi let out a shaky moan, already feeling as though he needed even more already. He needed Jimin, he wanted to feel him, savour this moment. He wished that he could just live in this situation forever, he just didn’t want to say goodbye to the love of his life but he knew he had to let him go. He just wasn’t ready yet.
Jimin smiled weakly down at Yoongi and he used his clean hand to wipe the tears that Yoongi hadn’t even noticed had begun to fall down his face, leaning over to leave a kiss on Yoongi’s pink nose.
“It’s okay, Yoongi”
Was it okay?
This was the last night of passion he would ever have with Jimin, the last time before he would leave him.. For his best friend. It wasn’t okay. But he could pretend for now.
“You can start, Jiminie”
Jimin nodded slightly and smiled, leaning down to kiss along Yoongi’s chest gently before easing a finger inside of Yoongi, the said man moaning breathily as he did, tilting his head to fall back onto the pillow. Jimin may have small fingers but he sure knew just how to use them.
Jimin curled the first finger,knowing it wouldn’t take long to stretch Yoongi out because of how often they had sex but he wanted to take things slow tonight. Even as he was sure Yoongi would be able to take another finger, he just continued to deeply thrust the first one, curling it to brush against his sensitive walls, loving the way Yoongi’s pink lips parted open in silent moans.
Eventually, Jimin pushed in the second finger and began to aim for Yoongi’s prostate, wanting to see him writhing in pleasure underneath him even before he starts to fuck him.
Yoongi moaned quietly as Jimin’s second finger pushed past his rim and he bit his lip, keeping his eyes on Jimin, blushing as he noticed the intense stare focused on his body. Yoongi felt beautiful in this moment, insecurities momentarily vanishing as he began to just let himself get lost in the moment.
As the digits brushed against the bundle of nerves, Yoongi arched his back with a moan, feeling his cock twitch on his stomach, desperate to be touched yet all he could focus on was the feeling of Jimin’s stubby fingers inside of his hole, stretching him out beautifully.
Jimin smiled, watching Yoongi’s reactions as he kept moving his fingers slowly, pressing deep inside of him.
“Jimin, please, just fuck me already” Yoongi whispered, feeling impatient. He just wanted to feel all of Jimin already, he didn’t want to wait any longer.
Jimin nodded, “Okay baby..” he whispered before pulling his fingers out of Yoongi, wiping his hand on the shirt right beside the bed.
With a soft smile, Jimin leaned down and left a soft kiss on Yoongi’s leaking tip, making Yoongi gasp and flush bright pink.
“Idiot” Yoongi squeaked, clearly flustered from the sudden kiss. It wasn't like it hadn’t happened before, it just wasn’t what Yoongi had been expecting.
Jimin just laughed and pinched Yoongi’s nipple again before slipping the condom onto his erection, making sure to add enough lube to make the slide nice and easy. He looked down at the man underneath him and smiled small.
“Are you ready baby?”
“Mhm, please fuck me already Minnie.. Please”
Part of Yoongi was scared. This was the last time. He knew he kept thinking about that but how was he supposed to just ignore it? One last night of passion before he was going to be alone.
Jimin nodded again, wanting to go along with everything Yoongi told him to, tonight. It was the least he could do, he just wanted to make sure he would leave Yoongi in some sort of a stable place. Maybe he was just being selfish for agreeing though. He had Namjoon now, maybe he shouldn’t have agreed. But he wanted it. He also wanted one last night with Yoongi.
Jimin finally pushed inside of Yoongi, causing the older man to moan sweetly. The stretch was kind of burning but in the most beautiful way. It still felt like the first time for Yoongi but for Jimin, it had begun to become repetitive. Sex for Jimin had become a way to ignore his disappearing feelings so as much as he wanted to label this a night of passion, Jimin just couldn’t do that.
Jimin pushed in slowly until he was all of the way in, his hands gripping the skin of Yoongi’s thighs. He kept his eyes on the undeniably gorgeous man underneath him, keeping his hips still as he allowed Yoongi to feel comfortable with the stretch of his hole.
Eventually, Yoongi nodded as a sign for Jimin to continue, not trusting his voice to speak, afraid that he would begin to cry again. Jimin seemed to understand this as he just smiled small at Yoongi and leaned down to leave a kiss on Yoongi’s flushed cheek before beginning to thrust his hips.
Soft moans danced through Yoongi’s parted lips as Jimin moved his hips deeply inside of him. Jimin knew just how to thrust his hips to drive Yoongi crazy.
Yoongi kept his eyes on Jimin as the younger man thrusted deeply yet slowly inside of him. He could feel everything, even with the condom preventing the contact being skin on skin. He was just going to enjoy this to the full extent whilst he could.
Jimin focused on the sight of Yoongi’s ass swallowing his cock, being able to tell that Yoongi was looking at him and he still had that ashamed feeling sinking inside of him that prevented him from looking up and meeting his eyes. His thrusts were slow and deep, wanting to make Yoongi feel as much pleasure as he could as some sort of apology in their own way. He just wanted to show Yoongi how apologetic he felt about everything that had happened. But his words wouldn’t have been strong enough to express that so he just hoped that Yoongi understood that this was his way of finding closure with all of this.
Jimin’s hands remained on Yoongi’s thighs and massaged into the skin as he continued to thrust inside of him. Both of them weren’t in their correct mindset for anything crazy and that lead to their sex feeling almost bland. They had been relying on kinks and fucking to kee them together for too long now and suddenly slowing everything down for a “night of passion” felt odd, far too odd, especially since the flames of passion were already long dead between them.
Thrusts began to feel repetitive and Yoongi felt tears of frustration fog his vision. He wanted to scream, he wanted to just say fuck it and have Jimin have his way with him, bring in kinks. But he just wanted one last sweet night, he just wanted a night with just them two but even that seemed to be a wish too far fetched tonight.
“I.. I’m sorry, I can’t do this”
Jimin finally spoke and pulled out of Yoongi completely, taking off of the condom to quickly dispose of it as Yoongi pushed himself to a sitting position.
Yoongi felt oddly relieved that Jimin had stopped everything. He hadn't realised how odd it felt until Jimin had stopped it completely. It had been a stupid request. How could he ask someone who doesn’t even love him to make love to him?
“I thought I could.. I wanted to.. But I can't”
Jimin felt guilty for not even being able to do this for Yoongi but he also knew that part of Yoongi wasn’t fully into it either so he stopped it before they regretted it later on.
“It’s okay Jimin-ah. Please don’t blame yourself..”
“Yeah..”
The air around them felt heavy, weighed down with an awkward silence that fell over them. Neither of them had the words to say, they just silently pulled on their underwear again before sitting back on the mattress.
Yoongi eventually spoke up again, nibbling on his bottom lip up until the first word left his mouth.
“Can.. can we cuddle?”
His voice was weak, almost drowned out in the silence but it was still loud enough for Jimin to hear him so he nodded.
“Yeah, we can”
Yoongi smiled weakly as Jimin agreed and he soon slid under the duvet, curling up in a ball as he felt Jimin’s chest press against his back, his strong arms wrapping around his tiny waist. Trying to make himself as small as possible, Yoongi brought his knees close to his chest as Jimin spooned him.
After roughly ten minutes of just laying there, Yoongi felt tears beginning to fall down his face again. He laid as still as he could, knowing that Jimin was still awake and he didn’t want him to find out that he was crying. Fear burned in every single cell of his body and he didn’t know what to do. He kept crying silently, trying to enjoy the feeling of being in Jimin’s arms but he just couldn’t because he knew that this was the last time they would ever cuddle like this. This was it, it was the end and Yoongi was terrified.
Eventually, the exhaustion in Yoongi’s body took over and he fell asleep in the warmth of Jimin’s arms, tears staining and drying on his pale cheeks. These arms usually felt like home to Yoongi but in that moment, every touch burned uncomfortably. Yet he couldn’t stay awake any longer.
Sleep usually meant dreams. But that night, for Yoongi everything was dark. There were no dreams, no warmth, it was just dark, cold, lonely. Maybe this was just foreshadowing Yoongi’s future without Jimin by his side.
Waking up in the morning, yoongi’s heart broke again. The other side of the bed was empty, cold. It was so cold that Yoongi could tell it had been hours since someone had laid there. Jimin was gone.
No.. no maybe he was just downstairs, maybe he was making breakfast. Yoongi nodded as he tried to convince himself that Jimin hadn’t really left. He got out of the bed in shaky legs and opened the closet, heart sinking as he saw how empty Jimin’s half was. No, he couldn’t have left without saying anything, right?
Once he had a pair of jeans and a baggy hoodie on, he made his way downstairs.
“Jimin?”
Not in the lounge.
“Jiminie?”
Why wasn’t he answering?
“Jimin-ah! Please!”
Yoongi felt sick. The final place was the kitchen and when he walked in, that was empty too. He was gone. He was really gone.
He was alone.
A choked sob broke out of his lips and he leaned against the counter, tears now rolling down his cheeks at a rapid pace.
“Jimin!” he sobbed loudly and suddenly it felt as though his legs gave up, falling to the floor as he sobbed. He didn't care as his knees hit the hardwood floor, his heart hurting way more than that.
“F-fuck”
Yoongi couldn’t breath, his hands moving up to cover his face with his hands, trembling as he just remained kneeling on the kitchen floor, his entire body trembling as he sobbed, completely heartbroken.
What was he supposed to do now?
Jimin was gone.
Namjoon was gone.
He had nothing.
Everything felt as though it was crumbling around him and he was barely holding on. Jimin had been by his side for years and within a day, he had lost him. He had lost his everything. The sun his world orbited imploded, leaving him drifting alone in the abyss, lost.
He knew he still had his life, he knew he did but without Jimin there helping him, he couldn’t even bring himself to stand on two feet.
He couldn’t believe Jimin was really gone.
Yoongi had never been more afraid to be alone.