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Shouto watched his sleeping lover carefully, a fond look in his eyes.
Katsuki was wearing one of Shouto’s old shirts, one that was a bit too big for him, and a pair of boxers. He was snuggling comfortably an All Might plushie, snoring softly, and Shouto noticed how relaxed the blond’s face looked. No trace of anger or the usual frowning that seemed to be his default expression.
Katsuki looked… at peace.
Unable to help himself, Shouto stroked his soft, spiky hair gently, massaging his scalp with a small smile. The vulnerability he was having the privilege of witnessing at that moment was enough to make his heart all warm as it fluttered inside his chest. There were no words for Shouto to describe how precious that scene was for him.
Katsuki leaned into the touch, humming and seeking his lover’s warmth while still unconscious and Shouto couldn’t resist it; he wrapped an arm around the blond’s waist and buried his face on that muscular shoulder, breathing in Katsuki’s sweet scent and nuzzling his neck.
“Feels good, Daddy...” The blond muttered, his voice heavily laced with sleep, and Shouto couldn’t help but smile again.
Katsuki was so cute. Shouto really couldn’t help himself.
“Is that so, baby?” He asked, sounding amused and affectionate at the same time.
Katsuki simply nodded, scooting closer to Shouto and sighing contently. “You are warm.”
Smiling, Shouto snuggled the smaller body against his chest, indulging in the blond’s need for comfort and closeness. He never felt happier before; having Katsuki in his arms like that felt like absolute heaven and Shouto thanked whatever god that decided to give him such an opportunity.
He already promised to make the most of it.
They haven’t been dating for long, but it felt so right that it seemed like a lifetime together in Shouto’s perception. Maybe it was due to the fact that they’ve known each other for so long that nothing - but the romance - was new to them. Maybe it was because of his almost ten years long pining, where Shouto learned everything he could about Katsuki, trying to get closer to him, to at least be granted the pleasure of his company.
But nothing prepared him for that . Nothing prepared him for the real Katsuki.
Shouto already had small glimpses of it when they were merely friends, but the blond has always been a very private person and Shouto seemed to be the first one to have access to his true self.
Looking around, the taller man couldn’t help but smile again. Katsuki’s room was a piece of work; Hero merchandise everywhere, All Might posters and figurines, their friend’s merchandise and a lot of Shouto’s. It looked like a teenager’s bedroom and, frankly, it fitted his lover.
Katsuki didn’t usually allow people inside his sanctuary of a bedroom, and Shouto could understand why. His room showed a vulnerable side of his lover that he was not ready to share with the world.
“You are quiet, Daddy. What are you thinking about?” The blond asked, interrupting Shouto’s thoughts.
“You.” His response made Katsuki turn to look at him with a frown and a cute pout. “What? You are always on my mind.”
“Well, you can’t say shit like that and not elaborate, fucker.” Katsuki grumbled, blushing a little and squeaking when Shouto pinched his ribs playfully.
“Language, baby. You know Daddy doesn’t like to be called bad names like that.” He berated the blond with a slightly stern look that made Katsuki look down in guilty and shame.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I was being a brat.”
Shouto just chuckled, pulling at his boyfriend until he turned around completely and they could look at each other in the eyes.
“Can you tell me what you were thinking about me, Daddy?” Katsuki asked softly this time, still clinging adorably to the All Might plushie. It was so cute that Shouto felt his heart melting, a small smile on his face as he stroked those soft, blond locks gently.
“Since you asked so nicely, I’ll tell you.” He replied, massaging Katsuki’s scalp. “I was thinking about how honored I am to be allowed to see this side of you.”
His boyfriend frowned, confused and worried at the same time. “Are you sure it doesn’t freak you out?”
Shouto took a deep breath, stroking Katsuki’s face lovingly and staring deeply into those crimson, beautiful eyes. “I am very sure. I love it, Katsuki. I love taking care of you, I love being your Daddy. I love watching you drawing and coloring the heroes you create. I love all you stuffed animals and plushies. I love cooking your favorite dinosaur nuggets. I simply love it.”
His lover took a shaky breath, tearing up visibly and gripping Shouto’s shirt almost desperately. He was trembling, Shouto could feel it, and it only made him hold the blond tighter.
“I… I feel like a freak. A creep. I feel like this is so fucking wrong… I’m 26, Shouto. I shouldn’t be like this.” Katsuki breathed, tormented, and it made the taller man frown in worry.
“Baby, you are who you are. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t try to diminish what you feel, love. You being like this doesn’t make you less of a person, of a hero. You are just different, you function differently, and, for me, that’s beautiful.” Shouto declared, cupping the blond’s face to make sure he was looking into his eyes so he could see that Shouto meant it all.
“Fuck… fuck . How did I get so lucky? No, really. This fucks me up… how can you be so understanding? How can you… like this freaky side of me?” Katsuki replied, trying and failing to keep his tears at bay. His voice held so much awe, so many emotions that Shouto felt his heart melting.
“I love you, Katsuki. All sides of you. The man, the brat, the hero, the baby boy. You are simply perfect for and to me.”
And that was what finally made the blond break down completely. He clung onto Shouto’s shirt and buried his face on his chest, shaking and sobbing, so vulnerable that the dual haired man could do nothing but comfort him and whisper reassurances on his ear.
Because Shouto loved him. He loved him so much that he knew he would do anything for that explosive blond in his arms. He would give Katsuki the world if necessary. And nothing would ever make him give up.
They would learn together how to navigate inside the new dynamics of their relationship. And Shouto vowed to be the best he could be.
He vowed to be a good Daddy for his baby boy.
-
It all started because of Izuku.
It wasn’t exactly his fault, but he was the trigger. Shouto didn’t blame his friend, he really didn’t, but sometimes, Izuku simply didn’t know when to step back. After finding his self confidence and becoming the number one, he changed. A lot. He wasn’t the same shy, stuttering teenager anymore; he was a man who was sure of himself and knew where he wanted to be, what he had to do. Izuku turned into a complete symbol of peace, marking the beginnings of a new era, and Shouto was really proud of his best friend.
They have decided to create their own agency, the three of them. The top three UA students, the prodigies. They had the same goal in mind and it seemed like the obvious course of action, and some of their friends decided to support the idea and work for them.
The second Katsuki announced his plans, the whole Bakusquad declared their allegiance to him and applied to work on their agency, making Shouto’s heart all but melt. The loyalty, the deep sense of friendship the whole group shared was something that always amazed him. They always had Katsuki and each other’s back, like a pack of wolves, and it was simply beautiful and wholesome. Shouto was glad his boyfriend had such an amazing support system.
Iida, Jirou and Ochako also applied, along with Momo and Tokoyami later on, making their agency the biggest and most powerful in Japan. They were a force to be reckoned with, with the top heroes of the country, and they all worked hard to maintain that status.
But Katsuki and Izuku didn’t seem to quite grasp the meaning of friendship yet. Surely, they were friends and really good ones, but their dynamics confused Shouto. There were a lot of screaming matches involved, a lot of anger (mostly from Katsuki’s side), frustration (on Izuku’s side) and disagreements. They argued a lot, and it wasn’t uncommon to see Katsuki storming off of Izuku’s office, or the number one slamming his hands on a table. It was actually the primary cause for furniture expenses on their agency. The amount of times they had to order a new table after Izuku’s episodes couldn’t be counted. Shouto didn’t even remember , since it was such a common occurrence. He actually suggested having spare tables but his friends didn’t appreciate the idea very much, glaring at him like he was a monster for suggesting so.
He was only trying to be cautious, but it really wasn’t appreciated.
Shouto got that a lot, to be completely honest. But he didn’t care. His suggestions were questionable most of the time and no one actually knew if he was serious or not. And Shouto liked it that way.
Katsuki and he started dating after an accidental confession on the blond’s side. Apparently, they have been pining over each other for so long that it was painful to watch (as Kaminari put it) and all of their friends were relieved when they got together.
It was a group chat, where they were discussing some silly things, and Shouto complained playfully about his lack of love life, since Izuku and Kirishima started dating and were being all cute in their conversation. And it surely unleashed hell.
[Shouto]: I feel like I would be a great partner, but I don’t think anyone is interested.
[Zapbro]: Oh, shut up! You are the prettiest of us all, you heathen!
[Kiribro]: ^^^^^
[Kiribro]: He has a point there!
[Uravity]: Shouto, you are just… really slow.
[Shouto]: ??
[Shouto]: What does that even mean?
[GroundZero]: OMFG
[GroundZero]: You are only single because you fucking want, you idiot.
[Deku]: Oh, that’s true sdfdifssdskndfsdf
[Shouto]: What…?
[Kiribro]: I dare Bakubro to explain it to him.
[Tapebro]: I double dare.
[Zapbro]: I triple dare!!!!!
[GroundZero]: SHUT UP! THAT’S NOT EVEN A THING!
[Tapebro]: ...does it mean you are scared, Bakubro?
[Zapbro]: OooOOooOo Kacchan is ScArEd!!! ;)
[GroundZero]: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED YOU ASSHOLES
[Kiribro]: Oh? I don’t see you explaining it, though.
[Shouto]: …?
[Kiribro]: See? Todobroki is all confused still ;))
[GroundZero]: HE IS FUCKING DUMB. Y’ALL ARE FUCKING DUMB
[Shouto]: Why am I dumb? You are the ones with the secrets.
[Tapebro]: Well, if Baku doesn’t explain it to you, I will.
[Zapbro]: S A M E. LET’S.
[GroundZero]: Don’t you dare… I WILL kill you.
[Shouto]: It’s making me more curious. What are you hiding, Katsuki?
[GroundZero]: MY FEELINGS *deleted message*
[GroundZero]: ………
[GroundZero]: fuck.
[GroundZero]: *deleted message*
[Shouto]: I’ve read it.
[Shouto]: I also have feelings for you.
[Deku]: OH IT’S LIVE. OOOOO SDFSDIFHSDFJSDFSKD
[Kiribro]: FUCK YEAH HELL YEAH
[Zapbro]: I’M LIVING OMFG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[GroundZero]:........ fuck. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.
[Shouto]: Gladly ;)
[GroundZero]: oiahioahsiohOIHAIOFHSUIDGFSOIJDAOPSCOP
[Tapebro]: oooo he is sassy!!!!
[Pinkbro]: WHAT HAVE I LOST OMFG OMFG
[Uravity]: THEY CONFESSED MINA!!!!
[Shouto]: Katsuki?
[GroundZero]: BRB DYING
[Shouto]: Oh hell no, you come back here. We need to talk.
[GroundZero]: fuck NO
[Zapbro]: DON’T BE A COWARD NOW KACCHAN
[Deku:] ^^^^^^ DON’T RUN AWAY KACCHAN
[GroundZero]: FUCK YOU ALL I’M OUT OF HERE
[Shouto]: ….I will show up at your house right now if you do that.
[GroundZero]: I DARE YOU, BASTARD.
[GroundZero]: ...wait, no. I don’t. You are fucking crazy, you totally would do that in the middle of the night.
[Shouto]: Grabbing my car keys ;)
[GroundZero]: NO OSIDFHIODSFIOSD NO. FUCK YOU. NO.
[Kiribro]: Yoo guys, who wants some popcorn? :D
[Deku]: This is better than cable omfg sihdfoisdhf
[Shouto]: In my car ;) see you in twenty minutes, Katsuki ;)
[GroundZero]: djjdjdopasjdao what???? WHAT THE FUCK???
Shouto is offline
[Kiribro]: Dude is a king. Omfg. Balls of steel.
[Zapbro]: Oh hell yeah HELL YEAH THIS IS HAPPENING. MY SHIP IS SAILING.
[Pinkbro]: Today Bakubaby is going to get some hot (and cold) piece of ass~
[GroundZero]: I HATE YOU ALL. I WILL FUCKING MURDER EACH ONE OF YOU!!!!
[Deku]: Suuuure~
[GroundZero]: What is that supposed to mean, you stupid nerd?!
[Deku]: Nothing, Kacchan ;)))))
Shouto actually managed to arrive at Katsuki’s place in fifteen minutes and that was one of the most intense nights of his life. They talked, kissed, Katsuki yelled at him, they kissed again and made out on the couch. Katsuki didn’t allow him in his bedroom and they ended up sleeping on the couch after too many horror movies, good food and heavy makeout sessions. Shouto loved it. He loved it so much that he barely slept, watching the blond all night long with a satisfied smile on his face.
And it didn’t stop there. They got serious after that, making their relationship official, much to their friends delight. Shouto was happy, he was so happy that he really couldn’t stop smiling on a daily basis, which seemed to freak everyone out. Not that he cared, but it made Katsuki so smug that Shouto couldn’t really stop himself.
Their relationship was everything he ever imagined, but it all changed one day.
Shouto always noticed a few things about his boyfriend. He noticed how Katsuki seemed to despise adult stuff, how he had a hard time dealing with that. He was a very responsible man, but it also seemed to overwhelm him. Katsuki liked cute things, even though he tried hard to pretend he didn’t (Shouto actually found a box of dinosaur nuggets in his fridge, he knew about Katsuki’s obsession with plushies and stuffed dinosaurs, he noticed how he enjoyed drawing and coloring… along with other things).
Shouto always knew, deep inside, that his boyfriend was different, that his mind worked differently.
Katsuki was an amazing and competent hero. He was really good in what he did, earning him the number two status. But his private life? His private life was a mess.
Katsuki’s mom was really… intense. She had the power of making the blond simply crumble , guilty and worried for keeping his distance so he could maintain some sanity. Guilty for making so much money, paying for her luxuries, trying to avoid being controlled and yelled at. Shouto could see how much it all affected his lover and it broke his heart. He knew all too well about what was like having an abusive parent, so he tried hard to be there for Katsuki as much as his boyfriend allowed him to.
It all stressed the blond so much that Shouto could see the clear signs of anxiety (and PTSD for his past traumas and all the kidnapping he suffered). Katsuki refused therapy for a long time and Shouto supported his decision until it became too much for him to deal all alone and he accepted the dual haired man’s offer. Shouto sat with him through his whole first session and made sure to always accompany him when he had an appointment, just being there, waiting for the session to be over while fumbling on his phone.
Katsuki was getting much better at handling his anger and anxiety and depression. He was actually turning into a much calmer person, even though he still couldn’t deal with being an adult.
Shouto would always take the lead, always take the control and it made both of them happy for that. He guided Katsuki through life, taking care of his boyfriend’s needs and tending to him. Shouto was a natural caregiver, always loving spoiling the blond with gifts and affection (something Katsuki craved but was too ashamed and too proud to admit). Their relationship was something soft , came out of a dream, and Shouto never felt happier in his life.
But it all changed. And it was Izuku’s fault.
They were arguing loudly inside Katsuki’s office and Shouto heard the noise of things breaking, which made him hurry inside in pure worry. The two morons never took it too far, but Shouto could tell something was wrong. This was not like one of their usual arguments.
“Kacchan, you can’t keep living your life like this! You can’t expect me or Shouto to always clean up your mess!” Izuku yelled, frustrated and angry.
“Fuck you, you stupid piece of shit! I don’t expect anyone to clean up after me!” Katsuki yelled back, clearly losing control. “You are too full of yourself if you think that!”
“Yeah, right. Because the property damage, the roughing villains up, the scaring away civilians is all part of my imagination! Of course, I’m crazy!” Izuku replied, gesturing wildly in pure irritation. “Wake up, Kacchan! You are ruining your career and dragging us down! You are putting the agency’s reputation at risk and mine and Shouto’s statuses won’t always be enough to keep it from getting ruined for much longer! Stop behaving like a child for once in your life, you are not 16 anymore!”
Shouto’s eyes widened and he knew he needed to act fast; that was a low blow. So low that he noticed how Katsuki froze, his whole body trembling in a feeling Shouto could not identify immediately.
“Izuku, that’s enough.” He stepped in, putting himself between the two of them before it progressed any further.
“No, Shouto. No. Stop coddling him. Stop treating him like a child. He needs to grow the hell up and be responsible for his own actions and that won’t happen if you keep enabling him like that! Kacchan needs to understand that he is a goddamn adult right now and he has responsibilities! He can’t live off of our agency status while hiding behind you! I’m tired of this!” Izuku yelled and Shouto… Shouto simply snapped.
“Shut up. You shut your mouth right now. ” He hissed, glaring at his friend with so much fire behind it that the other man simply cowered in surprise and intimidation. “Who the hell do you think you are to say those things, to dictate how my relationship works? For your information, Katsuki is the number two hero, and our agency only has the status it does right now because of him. Or do you forget he always wins the polls for most popular hero? You are the number one because you are living inside All Might’s shadow and you are the symbol of peace. Katsuki does his fair share, he works more than any of us, and how he lives his private life is his problem, not yours.”
Izuku swallowed hard, looking at Shouto with pain and hurt visible in his eyes, but also guilt. “I didn’t mean it like that… I just-“
“No, Izuku. Enough is enough. You said whatever the hell you wanted, not caring about how much it hurt him. And I will not allow this to go any further. Leave.” He spat, anger burning through his veins as he watched his friend look at Katsuki one last time before leaving the office.
Shouto closed the door behind him and didn’t say a word before taking the blond in his arms. Katsuki was trembling, small explosions leaving his hands as he breathed hard, still too lost inside his head to react properly.
High levels of stress always made his lover simply… dissociate. It worried Shouto to no end, but he understood that sometimes it was too much for him to deal with and he got lost inside himself while his brain numbed his feelings. It was a bad coping mechanism, but Shouto understood . He had done the same his whole childhood to survive his father’s abuse.
“You are safe, my love. I’m here.” He muttered, stroking Katsuki’s hair gently and kissing the top of his head.
It took the blond a few minutes to actually speak and hold him back, clinging onto him like a lifeline. “I… Do you think I’m childish? That I hold you guys back?”
Shouto sighed, holding him closer and closing his eyes. “You don’t hold anyone back, baby boy.”
He felt Katsuki shivering at the nickname and he actually looked at Shouto in the eyes, his own eyes wide and scared but also hopeful.
“What did you call me?” The blond asked softly.
“Baby boy. You are my baby boy.”
Katsuki blushed hard , shuddering and pressing his whole body against Shouto’s like he was trying to get even closer, in a desperate attempt to get more comfort and validation.
“So you think I’m childish...”
“That’s not what I said.” Shouto started to explain, knowing that he had to be careful and sensible. “You are special Katsuki. I know you… I know you so well, probably better than you know yourself. I know how much you crave being taken care of, how much you hate having control. I know you like cute things and you enjoy cuddling your All Might plushie to sleep. I know you don’t like making decisions, you don’t like doing adult stuff. I know you feel lost and helpless most of the time because you simply don’t know how to function properly in life. I know you, baby boy. And all of this is valid… I’m here, I want to take care of you. I want to take the control out of you and give you what you need.”
Katsuki was crying openly, his emotions so raw that Shouto could see it all. He could see the conflict, the fear, the hope, the realization… it seems like his lover had not realized what was going on with his own self before Shouto pointed it all out. And he didn’t doubt that; the blond was so pure, so innocent and naive that it was of no surprise that he never gave it all a lot of thought.
“What are you saying?” Katsuki asked, his voice rough and shaking as much as his whole body.
“I want to be more than just your boyfriend, Katsuki. I want… I want to be you Daddy. Do you know what it means?” He questioned, noticing the blank look he got in response and sighing. “How about we go to your place and talk there? I promise I’ll explain everything.”
Katsuki nodded warily, frowning. Shouto could see how confused his boyfriend was, how scared and vulnerable he looked. And he was going to erase it all, he was going to make it all better.
“Deku can deal with my shift for all I care.” The blond grumbled, accepting Shouto’s guidance and following him to his car without saying another word.
It wasn’t a long drive but the vehicle was filled with a nervous energy that left Shouto on edge. His nerves weren’t helping and he could almost taste Katsuki anxiety. But it didn’t last long and Shouto was relieved when he was able to park his car in front of the blond’s home and get him inside the house.
“Let’s take a warm shower to relax, okay baby?” He suggested gently, leading Katsuki to the bathroom so there wouldn’t be any room for arguments.
His boyfriend was blushing profusely, refusing to meet his eyes as Shouto took his clothes off gently before doing the same to himself. He turned the water on, making sure it was the right temperature for his boyfriend, and guided him inside the shower box. Shouto held Katsuki close to his body under the hot spray of water, feeling those strong arms wrapping around his shoulders almost desperately. The blond was still shaking, clinging onto Shouto like a lifeline, and the taller man hugged him tightly, stroking his back.
No words were said and Shouto knew none was necessary at that moment.
He started washing Katsuki’s body gently, noticing how his boyfriend shivered and sighed, pleased and comforted. The blond always loved it when Shouto bathed him, cleaning his body with care and affection, not in a sexual manner. Shouto loved it as well… he simply loved taking care of Katsuki.
He loved bathing him, feeding him, comforting him, spoiling and pampering him. Providing for him. He was addicted to it and he knew he would have to be really sensible to talk to Katsuki about it all.
Washing the blond’s hair was always an experience that made Shouto smile. His lover looked like a pleased puppy, his eyes closed and an expression of pure delight on his face as the taller man massaged his scalp.
“You like it, puppy?” Shouto asked, amused, noticing a confused frown on his boyfriend’s face.
Katsuki opened his eyes to look at him, tilting his head to the side. Exactly like a puppy. “Puppy?”
“You look like one.” Shouto replied with a chuckle.
“Oh… is it weird that I like this stupid pet name?” Katsuki was blushing again. Vulnerable and scared all over again. “I really like your stupid pet names.”
Shouto felt his heart melting as he rinsed Katsuki’s hair gently, unable to keep the smile off his face. “It’s not weird. I love coming up with pet names for you. I do have a few: Baby boy, little prince, puppy, cutie.”
He felt Katsuki shuddering, biting his lip and staring at him in a mixture of awe and love. “Fuck. I love this little prince shit. I love all of those… What the hell is wrong with me?”
Cupping the blond’s face, Shouto kissed his forehead gently, looking into Katsuki’s eyes with an intensity that seemed to surprise his boyfriend. “Nothing. Nothing at all, little prince.”
His boyfriend looked about to cry again, overwhelmed by emotions, and Shouto kissed his lips softly, being immediately retributed. He wanted to convey all his feelings through that gesture; the love, the acceptance, the comfort, the adoration. And Katsuki seemed to melt in his arms, holding him close like he needed it to support his own weight.
Shouto decided to end the shower quickly after, since they needed to talk. He toweled Katsuki’s body carefully, drying him off completely before doing the same to himself. He guided his boyfriend to the bedroom, choosing for him a pair of boxes, comfortable sweats and a large and old All Might shirt. Katsuki looked absolutely cute and Shouto couldn’t help smiling again as he himself got dressed.
“I’ll make you some hot chocolate and we can talk.” He declared, grabbing the blond’s favorite All Might plushie and handing it to him.
Katsuki was obviously confused, but he didn’t say anything, giving Shouto a short nod and following him to the living room. The blond sat on the couch, cuddling the plushie and frowning while Shouto headed to the kitchen. He prepared the hot beverage with care, adding a little bit of pepper just like his boyfriend liked it, before serving it on Katsuki’s hero mug and taking it to the blond.
His boyfriend accepted it instantly and Shouto sat by his side, looking at him with a calm expression. “Would you like to sit on my lap, little prince?”
The blond’s eyes widened and he blushed again, chewing on his lip and looking away. “When the fuck did you get a mind reading quirk, you freak?” He mumbled, embarrassed, making Shouto chuckle slightly.
“Come here, puppy.” The taller man spoke, patting at his legs.
Katsuki complied instantly, straddling him, the All Might plushie between them as he held the mug with both hands. It was so cute that Shouto wanted to squeeze him but refrained from doing so.
“So, this is a conversation I wanted to have with you for quite some time, but first I need to ask you something: did you enjoy what I did today? The shower, choosing your clothes, the hot chocolate and the plushie? And, of course, being on my lap,” Katsuki hid his face behind the mug, taking a sip of his drink and nodding slightly. “Good. This is how I want to treat you. How I want to take care of you.”
The heavy frown on Katsuki’s face made him pause to give the blond a moment to process it all. “Why?” He asked and Shouto sighed, resting his hands on Katsuki’s slim waist.
“Because I am a caregiver. I enjoy taking care of you, tending to your needs, spoiling you… and I think you need it as much as I need giving it to you. Izuku wasn’t totally wrong when he said you didn’t know how to handle adult life, be he was completely wrong in how he said it and what he did to you. You can’t handle adult life because, on the inside, you are not an adult. You are a boy, a lost boy wanting approval and acceptance,” He started, stroking Katsuki’s waist and observing him attentively. “You are an amazing hero, one of the smartest people I know, competent and incredible. You have a control over your own body and your quirk that it’s absolutely incredible… what I’m saying has nothing to do with your abilities or your competence.”
Katsuki was shaking so much on his lap, his breath labored like he was on the brink of a panic attack. “What the fuck are you saying?” He grumbled, his crimson eyes wide and scared.
“I’m saying you are a Little, Katsuki, and it’s affecting your whole life. As I said before, you hate having the control. You despise doing adult things like going to a doctor or filing paperwork. You find comfort in your plushies, coloring your characters, watching cartoons. You like your dinosaur nuggets, you like cute things. It’s a coping mechanism, but you are not aware of it and it’s affecting you in a way you can’t seem to realize. It gives you bad anxiety because you can’t deal with all the stress, so you dissociate. You can’t navigate through life like an adult, you can’t handle all the emotional baggage.” Shouto spoke softly, his voice steady and calm even though his insides were in a turmoil. He was nervous, he was afraid of scaring his boyfriend off, of hurting him, but it all needed to be said. Katsuki needed to be aware of it. “It’s not a bad thing, baby. At all. As long as you are aware of this. I need you to understand yourself, to know yourself so we can work through this together. You feel lost most of the time, so the self-awareness will help you ground yourself.”
Katsuki was… not okay. He was pale, breathing hard, and Shouto had to take the mug from his hands before an accident happened. He placed it on the coffee table, holding Katsuki’s shoulders and rubbing it, trying to bring him back to reality before his boyfriend dissociated again.
“What the fuck, Shouto, what the fuck?! Are you saying I’m a fucking freak?! ” The blond yelled, grabbing Shouto’s shirt aggressively. “Are you saying I’m a fucking sicko how wants to be a child inside an adult’s body?!”
The reaction was to be expected but Shouto sighed in frustration nonetheless. Of course Katsuki would think bad things about himself; he always did. “You need to tone down your self hate, my love. That’s not what I said at all. You are no freak or sicko. You just function differently. As I do. Being a caregiver affects me as much as being a Little affects you. I have to struggle every single day to not take control over everything, to not make decisions for others, to not make you depend on me for every single thing. Because I crave this, Katsuki. I crave to take control over you and navigate you through life. I see you struggling and all I want is to take you in my arms and do what is best for you. To solve all your problems, to erase your worries and anxiety, to ease your suffering. But I can’t do that. Not when you are not aware of all of this, not without your consent.”
The blond was openly crying, the grip on Shouto’s shirt so strong that the dual haired man was sure it was going to rip the fabric at any moment. He seemed to be struggling with all that Shouto dumped on him and it made the taller man sigh, wrapping his arms around that narrow waist he loved so much and bringing his boyfriend close. “If you are a freak and a sicko, so am I. Because I love you just the way you are and you are perfect for me, puppy.”
And that seemed to be enough to completely break Katsuki down.
He started sobbing, choking on his own breath and punching Shouto’s chest in a reflex kind of reaction. It was bad, so bad that Shouto was having a hard time holding onto him so he wouldn’t fall, the spasms of the blond’s body shaking both of them. “I hate myself. I hate myself so fucking much. This is ridiculous, Shouto, I’m 26. Why am I like this? Why do you want to put up with me? This is fucking insane…”
The dual haired man hugged Katsuki tighter, cupping his face to make the blond look at him and wiping his desperate tears. “Because I love you. Understand that, Katsuki. I love you, every single part of you; we fit together in a way that I never thought possible before. I want it all, Katsuki. Everything that you are. But I need you to realize it, to be aware of who you are. Own it, baby boy, be proud of yourself, because I sure as hell am absolutely proud of you.”
Katsuki let out an anguished sound before attacking Shouto’s lips, kissing him with a desperation that he was not prepared to deal with. But he adjusted almost instantly, kissing the blond back just as intensely. It was a mixture of tears and saliva, of fear and love and acceptance that had both men breathless as they tried to fuse with one another, holding onto the other as if the whole world was ending.
And maybe it was. The world, the reality as they knew before. And Shouto loved it.
Maybe he was indeed a freak, a sicko, but he didn’t want things to be the same again. He didn’t want to see his boyfriend struggling with pain and helplessness, so completely lost in life that it was hard to watch. He didn’t want to see his lover hating himself, completely unaware of who he was, the anxiety and stress eating him away simply because it was expected of him more than he could deal with. He didn’t want to see his baby boy withering away; he wanted Katsuki to thrive, to be who he was, to realize how amazing he actually was.
Shouto wanted to make it all better. He needed to.
“I don’t know how to process this shit… it’s too fucking much.” Katsuki muttered a few minutes after breaking the kiss, resting his cheek against Shouto’s chest.
“That’s what I’m here for, puppy. To help you with all of this.” He declared softly, caressing the blond’s back.
“How will this affect my career, my life? ”
Shouto hummed, contemplating the question. “It will give you more self-confidence, since you’ll be able to set your boundaries and actually understand your stress and anxiety. You’ll be able to navigate through life better, because you’ll know who you are and how to cope.”
“I don’t know anything right now, Shouto.” The blond grumbled. “I’m a fucking mess.”
“Then let me help you untangle this mess. Let me help you evolve and be yourself. Let me take care of you… Let me make you happy, puppy.”
His declaration seemed to have a strong effect on his boyfriend, because Katsuki sat straight, looking at him in the eye with a vulnerable but resolute expression. “Do it, then. Take care of me. Do what you want, take control. Let me know what it feels like to be happy, Daddy.”
And Shouto just… did it.
He hugged Katsuki close, cradling him in his arms and breathing in his sweet scent. He gave the blond his hot chocolate back, cuddled with him while watching cartoons. He asked Katsuki to tell him the stories of all the hero characters he created, helping the blond choose the colors for their costumes. He cooked Katsuki healthy meals and dinosaur nuggets, he gave Katsuki a dinosaur plushie. He bought Katsuki cute clothes, and helped him deal with the stress of work and life. He massaged Katsuki’s achy muscles and back to help him sleep better. He taught Katsuki how to set boundaries, how to trust himself. He took care of his baby boy like a good Daddy, coddling him when he needed and punishing him when necessary.
And Katsuki simply… flourished.
He got stronger, unbelievably so, almost to the point of stealing Izuku’s hero status as the number one. His anger diminished, but his personality was still the same. He became more tolerant with himself and his own mistakes. He felt… safe. He felt protected. He knew that Shouto had his back, so he felt safe to be who he wanted to be, who he craved to be.
And that night, when he fell asleep after a tiring day at work, Shouto watched him with a small smile, sighing happily. He was so proud of his baby boy, so unbelievably happy that Katsuki trusted him enough to show him that vulnerable side of himself.
Shouto stroked the blond’s hair slowly, thinking about how much he loved Katsuki and how perfect he was, how amazing and beautiful. His contemplation made him unable to sleep and Shouto climbed off the bed when the sun started to rise. He made himself a large cup of coffee and sat on his desk, deciding to work on some reports to distract his over focused mind.
He couldn’t precise for how long he stayed there, but the soft steps on the hall made him turn to look at a sleepy and grumpy Katsuki who was frowning at him in visible irritation while rubbing his eyes. It was so cute that Shouto felt himself melting, smiling at the blond like a fool.
“Good morning, puppy. Sleepy?”
Katsuki grunted, annoyed, and approached him while clutching at the dinosaur plushie. “It’s 6 AM, idiot. What the hell are you doing?”
Shouto chuckled, hugging the blond’s waist and kissing his chest lovingly. “Go back to sleep, baby. I’m just working on a few reports.”
“It’s Sunday, you freak.” Katsuki whined, his eyes not completely open due to tiredness. “I’m fucking cold.”
Much to Shouto’s surprise, his boyfriend climbed on his lap and straddled him, hugging his neck and burying his face on his chest. He made himself at home on Shouto’s lap, getting comfortable and sighing in delight. “Since you idiotic ass won’t go back to bed, I’m going to nap right here. You are warm, Daddy. You shouldn’t have left, so deal with it.”
Laughing softly while his heart fluttered inside his chest, Shouto stroked Katsuki’s back gently, nuzzling his hair and kissing the top of his head. He was happy… happier than he ever thought possible. Katsuki was simply perfect and Shouto couldn’t ask for anything else.
He had everything he ever wanted and needed in his arms, nuzzling his chest and making small, cute noises.
Shouto felt like the luckiest man alive.
“Alright, puppy. You can nap on Daddy’s lap. I’ll cook you breakfast after I’m done.” He purred before going back to work.
And the sounds of Katsuki’s soft snores were like music to his ears, calming his mind and body like nothing else ever could.