Chapter Text
Red
The first color of the rainbow was red. Red was the name of Jungkook’s first love.
Red was Jungkook’s first in literally everything. She’s his first friend, his first kiss.
Orange.
Orange was the second color in the rainbow. Red loved orange tulips, so Jungkook gave her that daily.
“Orange tulip for the love of my life,” Jungkook broke into a huge grin as he handed the flower to his girlfriend.
Red returned the smile.
“Is this orange, though?” She chuckled to hide the pain.
Jungkook overlooked the hurt in her voice. He also didn’t see the way her eyes suddenly filled with tears. Jungkook never noticed anything other than happiness.
He thought love was the solution to everything. He felt as though love equated to joy.
It did not.
“The tag says it’s orange,” Jungkook leaned in to kiss Red. The latter bit her bottom lip, refusing to let him have a taste of her.
He used to taste so sweet, but now he only felt like acid burning the corner of her mouth.
“Thanks.” Red faked a smile once more.
She used to be so sure of her love for Jungkook; however, as years passed, Red realized she needed more.
She craved color.
They lived in a world where people see in black and white until they meet their soulmates. Red and Jungkook had been dating for almost a decade now. It’s safe to say that they weren’t bound to be together. Otherwise, both of them would be able to see colors now.
It’s easy to pretend at first. Red thought she could ignore the hole in her heart by pretending that she liked orange tulips even though she couldn’t see their color.
It’s pathetic, and she knew it. Red grew up learning colors by meaning, not by seeing their shade. She could still remember her preschool teacher’s words. “Orange symbolizes warmth and joy.”
She thought she could delude herself that Jungkook brought her warmth and joy.
He did not.
Yellow.
Jungkook’s mother said that the prettiest color was yellow. His mom was one of those lucky people who had met their soulmate. She first saw Jungkook’s father at the age of nineteen. Until now, she never failed to elucidate what she felt when her eyes found her soulmate’s.
The color wasn’t that bright at first, but as she continued to stare into his eyes, the faint color started to shine bright. It’s only possible because he was also attracted to her. Mrs. Jeon’s heart swelled in joy, and for the first time in almost two decades, she felt as though she was finally alive.
Green.
The color of nature was mainly green; this was what Jungkook’s teachers used to say. He couldn’t know for sure that they were lying. Wasn’t color only an illusion? Why were people so obsessed with naming hues when everything was simpler in black and white?
Jungkook was an artist. Many people convinced him to try his luck in painting, but he refused to listen to them. Colors would only ruin things. He couldn’t see them, so why make art by relying on them? He found solace in drawing, though. It’s his way of making a living.
Blue.
Jungkook felt blue. He was taught that the color of the sky and sea represented sadness. Red was barely home, so Jungkook was always alone in their shared apartment.
He often wondered where she went.
Indigo.
Sincerity was said to be associated with indigo. Five months after the change in Red’s attitude, Jungkook decided it was the perfect time to show how much he loved her.
Red was always cranky. She kept avoiding Jungkook. She didn’t even respond to his sweet I love you anymore.
Maybe Jungkook wasn’t trying hard enough. Maybe Red wanted to take things to another level. Perhaps that’s the reason why she’s always not in the mood. She probably hated Jungkook for not taking the hint.
Violet.
Jungkook was certain.
He’s going to propose to his girlfriend. Violet symbolizes the future. Jungkook wanted to spend the rest of his life with Red.
The hopeful boy let out a breath, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. Today was the day he would ask his partner to marry him.
Red told him yesterday that they needed to talk. Jungkook was beyond ecstatic because of it. Five months was a long time. Jungkook doubted that he could still bear not to touch her anymore. He missed her kisses, the warmth of her body, and her gorgeous smile.
But when the door finally opened, Jungkook was greeted with a deep frown etched on Red’s face.
“You’re home.” Jungkook’s eyes lit up. He took big steps towards her. “I missed you, babe.”
Jungkook engulfed his girlfriend in an embrace. He couldn’t believe she was here. Red said she would be home by 6pm, but it was already one in the morning. The food Jungkook prepared had gone cold. His stomach was growling. Jungkook was stubborn. He dismissed the idea of devouring the food that took him so long to prepare. He wanted to eat with Red.
“I miss you too.” She said, voice void of any emotion. Again, Jungkook failed to notice it.
He’s too excited to see that Red is dying to get away from him.
“Have you eaten? I’ve made spaghetti. Let me just reheat it.” Jungkook beamed, not waiting for Red to answer as he was already reheating the pasta on the stove.
“Funny story. I went to the grocery store because we ran out of tomatoes, and then I—” Jungkook trailed off when he realized that Red was staring at the orange tulip on the table instead of listening to his lame story.
He grinned.
“You like orange tulips a lot.” Jungkook smiled before focusing on stirring the pasta sauce.
He liked cooking. He especially liked preparing meals for Red since she’s always busy with work. She’s currently an intern at one of Seoul's most prominent law firms.
“It’s black…”
Jungkook hummed, although he didn’t understand what she was saying. He’s too focused on stirring the sauce, contemplating adding more salt.
“What were you saying, babe?” He finally looked back at her after moments of awkward silence.
Jungkook found his girlfriend staring at him. She’s nursing the orange tulip in her arms. Jungkook flinched as soon as his eyes darted on her face.
“No…” He quickly dropped the wooden spoon so he could hug Red real tight.
She’s crying.
“I told you, it’s black!” She sniffed, struggling to push her lover’s chest to show him the now crushed flower. He embraced her so hard without regard to the tulip in her arms.
Jungkook blinked, silently watching her. This was kind of his thing. He never questioned Red. He just allowed her to say something, be mad, or act on how she felt. He didn’t want to make her feel suffocated.
Red sobbed harder. Jungkook felt his heartbreaking. He finally came to know what she was trying to say.
His eyes landed on the tulip.
Red followed his line of sight.
She choked back a sob.
“The tulip is black, JK.” Her voice broke, though it was nothing compared to the pain Jungkook felt as his heart shattered into a million pieces.
Black.
It’s hard to make sense of the words leaving Red’s lips after confessing that the true color of the tulip was black.
Black.
Black as in color ‘black’ and not the usual monochromatic things they see.
Black wasn’t part of the rainbow. It’s not even a color. It was the absence of the pretty hues.
Black was despair.
Black was the only color Jungkook knew–this contrasted with what Red claimed she could see.
She found her soulmate.
Between the sobs and guilt, Red still managed to mumble words she knew would hurt her boyfriend.
Her ex-boyfriend.
“I can see color now, Jungkook. I found my soulmate. I’m so sorry.” She cried even harder.
This situation was difficult for her, too.
“Of course you did,” his lips trembled, cupping her cheeks. “You found me years ago, babe. I am your soulmate.”
“N-No, you don't—” her words drowned when he crushed their lips together. It took Red three seconds to push him away.
“I love you, Red. I’m going to marry you, please.”
“Jungkook! Stop!” Fury bubbled inside her chest as soon as he got down on one knee, whipping out a small box in the pocket of his jeans.
No. He couldn’t do this to her. He couldn’t be this selfish.
“I’m not going to marry you!” It pained her to say this, yet she was sure she had to act tough. This needed to end now.
“I told you I found my soulmate!”
“Why should it matter!?” He screamed, startling her.
He never raised his voice.
He’s distraught. He didn’t bother to hide it. The tears falling down his cheeks could attest to that.
“You found your soulmate, but I am the one you love, right? You love m-me!” He so desperately screamed as his jaw clenched. It’s like he’s convincing himself to believe what he just said.
“Red, please. You love me…” His eyes were pleading. “You told me you love me—no! No!”
Jungkook stood up when Red violently shook her head. He tried to go near her. Unfortunately, she took shaky steps backward.
“I’m so sorry, Jungkook. I’m so fucking sorry!”
It’s his turn to shake his head. She hadn’t confirmed anything yet, but Jungkook already knew what she truly felt.
Red, orange, yellow, green.
Red was the first color of the rainbow.
Red was the name of Jungkook’s first love.
Red was Jungkook’s first in literally everything. She’s his first friend, his first kiss…
…and his first heartbreak.