Work Text:
“ABHIIII!!!!!!”
Chirag crossed the distance between him and Abhishek standing at his door in two strides and lifted him up in his arms.
“Chhey mahine ho chuke hain tujhe dekhe huye!”
Chirag spoke, holding Abhishek up in the air by his waist. Abhishek didn’t say anything. The very sight of Chirag caused his mind to flood with happiness. He touched his tired forehead with Chirag’s.
And yes, Abhishek didn’t need to walk into the house. Chirag, who kept on holding him in his strong arms brought him in.
“Apne ghar nahin gaya, station se seedha yahin aaya hoon! Prateek ko bhi nahin pata ki main yahan aaya hoon!”
Abhishek said once Chirag put him down on one of the chairs at the dining table.
“Tu sabse pehle mujhse milne aaya hain? Bhook lagi hogi na? Abhi lata hoon ruk! Aur yeh apna ghar kya? Yeh bhi toh tera hi ghar hain!”
Chirag entered the kitchen and put two sandwiches into the microven. The oven beeped in about a minute and he brought them to Abhishek at the table.
“Bohot miss kiya tujhe yaar! Yahan press bhi theek se nahin chala pata hoon! Humesha teri yaad aati rehti hain!”
Chirag said as Abhishek slowly ate the sandwiches. It seemed like he was really hungry.
“Kuch bolega bhi? Ya main hi bakte jaaun?”
Chirag asked once Abhishek was done with eating and they had shifted to the bedroom. Abhishek continued to stare at him as they sat face to face and Chirag spoke.
“Chhey mahine baad teri awaaz sunke aisa lag raha hain jaise bass sunta hi rahun!”
Chirag’s heart melted. His love was back to him! Finally!
“Ab? Ab kahan job karega yahan?”
Abhishek’s contentment that had been on his face ever since he saw Chirag left his face at an instance at this question.
“Chirag, main humesha ke liye waapas nahin aaya hoon! Bass teen din ka chutti leke aaya hoon!”
Chirag’s wide smile, which was stuck to his face ever since he saw Abhishek at his door, now slowly faded away on hearing this.
“Toh tu waapas aaya hi kyun? Rehta wahi Phulera mein!”
Chirag asked, now a bit angry.
“Chirag....”
Abhishek came forward and hugged him, resting his head on Chirag’s wide chest. He immediately felt his t-shirt get wet as Abhishek started to cry silently. It felt as if in Chirag’s chest, it was the safest place to be on Earth. Chirag realised something was gravely wrong and he wrapped his long arms around Abhishek’s small torso. Abhishek shifted more close to him in order to be more huggable. Chirag gently rubbed his hand on Abhishek’s back so as to console him, but it only resulted in him crying more at his every touch. He therefore decided to let his small man cry.
None of them knew the time for which they remained in each other’s arms and for how long Abhishek cried. But after a point, he felt embarrassed for this act. He wasn’t a man who would break down so easily in front of someone. Yes, Chirag was not just a random ‘someone’ to him, but still, Abhishek hated to show that he was weak. He therefore sat up straight and wiped his face with his shirt’s long sleeves. He put his face down in embarrassment.
“Abhi, main samajh sakta hoon kuch bohot bada hua hain tumhare saath. Par usse pehle mujhe yeh kehna hain, ki rone se koi weak nahin ban jaata. Agar tu kisi ke saamne ro de, iska matlab jaanta hain? Tujhse zyada strong koi hain hi nahin. Hum sab bass yahi sochte hain, ki kaise khud ke aansuon ko chhupaye duniya se? Kaise yeh siddh kare ki haan mard ko kabhi dard nahin hota. Mard bhi insaan hi hote hain yaar, aur unko dard hona bhi jayaz hain!”
Abhishek nodded.
“Bolna chahoge ki kya hua hain? Agar nahin, tab bhi theek hain!”
Chirag asked. He definitely didn’t want to trigger Abhishek with something that caused him to cry for so long. But Abhishek spoke.
“Mujhe mann nahin lagta wahan! Koi bhi mera apna nahin hain wahan pe. Poora gaon saat, saare saat so jata hain, ek insaan nahin hota wahan jisse main baat kar sakun. Tower bhi achha nahin aata ki tujhe ya Prateek ko call kar sakun. Aisa lagta hain, poori duniya se alag hoke baitha hoon..... Itni beizzati hoti hain meri wahan. Kisine panchayat ka computer chori kiya, ilzaam mujh par aaya, teen chaar ladko ke saath Vikas ka, mere assistant ka jhagda hua, galiyan mujhe sunni padi! Aur sabse badhkar....”
Abhishek stopped to breath a little and looked at Chirag.
“Tere bina mujhe achha nahin lagta. Tumhe dekhe huye chhey mahine ho chuke hain! Baat bhi nahin kee itne dinon mein! Kya kar rahe ho, kaise ho, kuch khabar nahin milti! Isi liye, teen din ka chutti leke chala aaya. Parso dopahar ek baje ki train hain.”
Chirag, who had been looking at Abhishek all this while was surprised to know that his love was going through such situations and didn’t even have anyone to talk to about all this. How much must he be going through for all these months so as to cry for so long on seeing him. Abhishek was indeed a strong man. His Abhi, his small Abhi, the love of his life was holding so much within him for six long months. How strong must he be to not break down to anyone in all these months!
“Ab tum kyun ro rahe ho?”
Abhishek asked, wiping Chirag’s tears which made him realise that he had silent tears flowing down his eyes too!
“Kuch nahin! Toh ab? Ab tu kya karega?”
Chirag asked, dabbing the corner of his eyes with his t-shirt.
“Kuch nahin karna hain. Agle do mahinon mein CAT ka exam hain, use clear karne ki koshish kar raha hoon. Kaash ho jaaye, phir mein yahan waapas chala aaunga, humesha ke liye!”
“Ho jayega Abhi! Tu chinta mat kar! Mera baby itna koshish jab kar raha hain, tab hona hi hain. Chal ab, tu ek hi din hain yahan, kuch masti kar lete hain aj aur kal!”
Abhishek smiled, genuinely, perhaps for the first time in these six months. Chirag’s face lit up too, seeing his boyfriend smile at his idea.
That day, they spent talking to each other and watching movies while cuddling on the sofa. Abhishek didn’t go home. He just had the time of one and a half day to spend with his Chirag and he didn’t want to waste a moment of that. He even asked Chirag to not sleep that night, and that they’d talk to each other till dawn. Chirag agreed.
At night, after they were done with eating, Chirag asked Abhi to go to the bedroom as he would be back in a moment after doing the dishes. But as per his expectation, Chirag found Abhi fast asleep when he returned. Yes, he had expected him to fall asleep because such a long train journey had definitely caused Abhishek to be tired. He had agreed to his plan, cause had he denied, Abhi would have felt bad. He therefore, sat down on the bed beside him and kissed his forehead gently and carefully, so that he would not wake up his love! Abhishek looked like a small cotton ball, who puffed up occasionally as he breathed. A man of wonders he was! Chirag knew that Abhishek loved him dearly, more than anyone else on Earth. But then, work and career were also important to him. He knew that Chirag could and would wait for him, stay far away from him and still be loyal to him, but his career wouldn’t. It was calling him, and he had to go. Chirag therefore understood and respected that.
The next day, early in the morning, Abhishek woke up and saw Chirag snoring beside him on the bed. He then realised what happened, he had fallen asleep despite promising that they’d talk for the whole night. He rubbed his face with his palms to wipe off the remaining sleep from his eyes and then looked at Chirag. Chirag looked like a huge strong hill that had monsoon clouds on it’s head and were thundering at times as he snored. His huge biceps are his strength and might be scary for others, but for Abhishek, those biceps meant the world. Though the arms seemed to be rough and tough, Abhishek knew it were as gentle as a soft shawl of fur that could be gentle on you as well as protect you from the harsh weather outside. Chirag definitely was the best man anyone could ask for as a life partner. Even after six months of no contact, Chirag still loved him in the same way as he did on the very first day. No doubt he promised that he’d stay loyal but even then, Abhishek felt that very warmth and compassion from him which he used to feel six months ago. His Chirag was still the same. Just his and all his!
This day, that is the current day, the two went out for a movie. They had lunch at a mall and Prateek was called over. He had to be called cause Prateek was Abhishek’s best friend. He listened to Abhishek’s problem at Phulera and suggested that he should try to clear the CAT examination as fast as he can, so that he can leave the village and come back here, at Mumbai, to Chirag.
They came back home in the evening and Abhishek now wanted to visit his mother once, who lived nearby. Chirag didn’t stop him. He was no one to stop a son from meeting his mother. He instead prepared for a beautiful dinner at the table, and planned to surprise Abhishek when he’d be back.
Abhishek was back by 9pm. He came back to a dark apartment with the door open and all the lights switched off with only a few candles lit on the dining table. He moved towards that, careful to not trip on something and fall down. He saw the dining table decorated with a chocolate pie, some two or three paneer dishes and a few cans of beer. The table had rose petals scattered in the empty places. It was a beautiful sight to say the least.
“Chirag?”
And just as he called out to Chirag, Abhishek felt someone hold his waist and turn him behind. Just after he turned and before he could recover from this sudden shock, he felt a strong yet gentle pair of lips press hard on his ones. A shot of dopamine ran across Abhishek’s body and caused his pupils to dilate, before he closed his eyes and kissed the man back. The gentle stubble that grew over the face, and the perfect grooves of the lips were enough proof that the man was none other than Chirag, his darling!
The kiss hastened after a while as the tongues got involved. Chirag’s tongue was cold and his mouth tasted of caffeine, as if he had swallowed cold coffee just sometime ago. Abhishek felt Chirag’s hands slide around his waist as they locked him in his embrace. He too therefore moved his hands up from Chirag’s chest to behind his ears, where they rested for a while before clenching his hair with his fingers. He pulled them firmly with his hands, causing Chirag to moan in his mouth, and that only increased the desire for Abhishek to have more, to get more. Nothing was enough anymore, now!
Chirag on the other side had devils beating drums in his head. He therefore pressed hard on either side of Abhishek’s stomach with his fingers which brought out a loud moan from him. Chirag knew, he couldn’t let it end here. He therefore lifted him up in his arms and Abhishek wrapped his legs around him. They separated for a while to breath and then got connected again, as Chirag walked towards the bedroom with Abhishek still in his arms.
He gently laid his love down on the bed and himself lied down over Abhishek’s body. Abhishek parted his legs so that it was easier for Chirag to continue. Chirag, on the other hand lifted his body up and opened Abhishek’s t-shirt. He himself was bare bodied and as he was about to get back, Abhishek pushed him down on the bed and sat over him, his legs on either side of his body. He firmly pressed Chirag’s muscles, as if it were his centre of attention as he continued to stare at his eyes. He then swiftly bent down and caught his lips with his own as his hands worked on Chirag’s sweatpants.
“Abhi, tu sure hain na?”
Chirag asked breaking the kiss.
“Haan! Itne dinon ke baad tere itne kareeb hoon ....hoon main sure!”
And Abhishek spent no more time in words. He kissed Chirag’s bare body from his chin down his neck to his chest, pausing at his naval and then down as Chirag moaned occasionally when Abhishek bit him at places.
“Ahhh.... Abhi......fuckkk!”
The pie, the paneer items and the beers waited that whole night for the two to come and eat them. They had no idea that the duo were done with their dinner in the bedroom and had fallen asleep in each other’s arms, elated yet melancholy, glowing yet dull. Cause their time together had come to an end again and Abhishek would be leaving for Phulera the next day. They didn’t know when they’d meet again, they didn’t know when they would be back again to each other’s arms. They just wanted this moment to freeze, they wanted that the moon and the stars may stay at their respective positions and not allow the sun to rise again, announcing the arrival of another dawn.
“Duniya ke dastoor se, door hain tu.
Mere naino ka saara noor hain tu.”
Chirag woke up first the next morning and saw Abhi still sleeping with sunlight gently adoring his beautiful face. The amazing sight caused Chirag to hum this song, as he drew the curtains so that the sunlight would not wake up his baby from sleep.
“Mere saans ke har morr pe,
Sapnon ke chhor pe,
Dekh sirf tere hain nishaan!”
Chirag stood in front of the mirror and saw dried blood on his lips and red teeth marks near his neck. He smiled as he brushed his fingers past them. These marks had a similarity with Abhishek, they both would leave him and go soon. He wasn’t prepared for Abhi to come back this time but now he didn’t want to let him go either. But he knew destiny was calling, calling for his love to go back to that old village, and come back shining as gold, back to his arms. He knew physical distance could be possible, but from soul, no one could separate their souls from each other. He was Abhishek’s, and Abhishek, solely his.
“Aye bairaagi,
Teri laagi laagi re....”
Chirag sang with a cracked voice as his throat got choked in his tears.
“Aye bairaagi,
Teri laagi laagi re......”
He knew Abhishek had his train in the afternoon and would be late if he didn’t cook some food fast.
The decorated dining table still lay like that, with the paneer smelling, the candles burned out and the rose petals dried. As if everything was sad that they had to part again.
“Hain udte panchhi ki chhav tu,
Beparwah behti si naav tu.”
In the afternoon, at 1pm. Chirag brought Abhishek to the station. Since the morning, Abhishek didn’t speak a word. He silently woke up, freshened and got ready for his departure. It was only when he came close to Chirag at times that he looked up into his eyes and smiled and then went past him. He ate only two gulps of food that Chirag had prepared for him, for the very morsel of food he put into his mouth, seemed to be seasoned with Chirag’s tears. And it broke Abhishek’s heart to see him sad. They both had no other option but to wait until he could clear the examination.
“Kaise apnaye tu ek ghar?
Hain banjaro ka gaav tu...”
Chirag parked his bike at the parking lot of the station and picked up Abhishek’s bag as he walked towards the waiting train. Abhishek looked at him as he walked side by side of him.
“Chhode tune hain jo nishaan,
Unki raho pe mein chala.
Kya pata milega tu kahan?.....”
The train whistled announcing it’s departure. That very whistle seemed to ring in Chirag’s heart and brought out tears which ran freely from his eyes as he saw Abhishek standing at the door of the departing train looking at him. There might have been a smile on his lips and Chirag knew it was only to console him. He chuckled sadly and waved his hands towards Abhishek who waved back and then faded away in the distance along with the train.
“Aye bairaagi,
Teri laagi, laagi re...”
Chirag wiped his tears as he looked on at infinity, where the train disappeared along with his love. Another indefinite period of separation started, which none of them knew when it would end.
“Tu bhor ka neela tara,
Tere rooh phire awara.
Tu tairta tinka unchi leharon pe.
Tere saans mein chamke kansa,
Tu paani tu hi pyasa.
Tu muskata hain dil ke pehron pe!”
Chirag turned back and started to walk back towards the parking lot. That very smile of Abhishek remained in his heart. He would cherish it for time infinite until they met again. That smile would keep him sane, it would keep him waiting, it would keep him thirsty, thirsty to see his Abhi, his love back again in front of his eyes. Thirst would be prominent in his eyes as it would burn his heart. And that smile, wouldn’t allow the burn to soothe, it wouldn’t allow anything to quench his thirst except for the sight of Abhishek, back again, in front of him, in his arms.