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Klavier shut his apartment door with a little too much force than necessary, not even bothering to turn on the lights. Carelessly shrugging off his jacket and shoes he then made his way into the kitchen, intending to eat a quick dinner before going to bed.
It was only 6pm, but quite honestly Klavier had had enough of the toxic thoughts that were running rampant in his mind, most sounding suspiciously like his older brother. He didn't have too many days like this anymore, he was in a better place now, with people he cared about and who cared about him. But, sometimes he couldn't shake off the what ifs and the regrets, the feeling of being a burden to everyone he held dear to him.
The only way he knew how to silence the venomous words in his head was to sleep them off and hope he felt better tomorrow, so that was exactly what he was going to do.
The dreary lighting cast his normally bright and vibrant apartment into deep shadows, the only light source being the few rays of warm orange sunlight that managed to squeeze in between the cracks in the blinds. It seems like he would have to turn on the kitchen lights lest he hurt himself by tripping over something.
He placed his phone face down on the counter, not bothering to check his notifications, and then proceeded to check his fridge for any quick ready meal that he could cook with little to no effort. Unfortunately, there was no such thing. He sighed, every second he spent awake was another second his mind could throw abuse at him, and Klavier was tired. So, so tired.
Forgoing dinner, he made his way into his bedroom, changed into more comfortable pyjamas, turned off his light and got into his king sized bed. He knew Apollo would be disappointed in him right now, self care was what they had been working on for the past few months, after all. Still, the empty masses of fabric would've felt a lot less lonely if he had his schatzi to lie with him in them.
Normally, Klavier would put on music to lose himself in, but as he had left his phone in the kitchen, that wasn't going to happen tonight apparently.
He brought his pillow into his chest, curling in a fetal position around it. Trying to focus on his boyfriend instead of the current line imaginary Kristoph was saying about him being a pathetic wreck, Klavier was incidentally reminded of the last time he had had a day as bad as this one.
It was a few months after him and Apollo had gotten together, Apollo had come round to his apartment to spend the evening together and noticed how distant he was being. This eventually lead Klavier to tell his lover everything, ending up with him crying in his boyfriend's arms by the time he was done.
He still remembered the gentle look on Apollo's face as he brushed away his tears and brought their faces closer together. He still remembered the hushed whisper he spoke in as he told Klavier that he wasn't going anywhere, he would stick by Klavier 'until you love yourself as much as I love you'. He still remembered the gentle kisses and fresh tears as he told Apollo that he loved him too.
Klavier hugged his pillow tighter, he was truly blessed to have such a wonderful partner. Smiling to himself, he let the thoughts of his boyfriend lull him into a state of half-sleep. He remained like this for a while, more peaceful than earlier, yet not relaxed enough from the day's events that he could properly fall asleep.
That was until he heard the unmistakable sound of his front door being unlocked and his partner's call of "Klavier? Are you here?"
Klavier raised his head, shocked, what was Apollo doing here? They hadn't had any plans tonight, had they? If he saw him like this then he would know he was having another bad day without telling him straight away. Klavier slowly placed the pillow back in it's original spot and listened to Apollo's quick pacing around his apartment, eventually reaching the bedroom where he was still laying in bed.
"You hadn't returned any of my texts or calls all day, so I got worried" Apollo whispered, relieved that Klavier was safe and in his apartment. He slowly made his way over to the bed, then sitting on the side carefully and extending an arm out towards Klavier.
Klavier sighed, might as well get this over with, he took his partner's hand and spoke,
"I'm so-"
"No." Apollo interrupted firmly, "you don't have to be sorry, Klav, you've done nothing wrong."
"But- But schatz, I ignored you all day, I didn't even realise I was doing it, I was just too caught up in my own head" Klavier reasoned, wetness already brimming his eyes.
"Klav-"
"But, I haven't even eaten, and I worried you needlessly ... I can't do anything right" Klavier trailed off, letting the tears fall freely down his face. No matter what Apollo said, that would always remain true.
"Klavier, look at me" Apollo crawled across the bed to sit next to Klavier, taking his face in his hands. Klavier sighed, leaning into his boyfriend's touch, closing his eyes as Apollo wiped the tears from his face gently.
"You don't have to be perfect." Apollo murmured, looking firmly into Klavier's watery eyes as he opened them in shock. He then drew back the covers and slid down into bed next to Klavier, pulling his partner's head into his chest.
"You may be Klavier Gavin, prodigy prosecutor and international rockstar" Apollo whispered into Klavier's hair, "but you're also just Klavier, you're allowed to have days when you don't do your best, you're allowed to lean on others for support, you're not alone Klav"
Klavier couldn't hold back his tears as he buried his face further into Apollo's chest.
"Listen Klavier, I know I don't say it enough but I love you. I love you so so much. If you ever feel like this again, one text message and I'm here." Apollo softly kissed Klavier's head, as if cementing his resolve, he hated when his boyfriend felt like this, so he truly hoped that what he was saying was helping in some way.
Drawing his head back, Klavier looked up at his boyfriend, his sweet, wonderful boyfriend, Klavier knew that he would never be able to show Apollo just how much he loved and appreciated him. He knew that he still had a lot of battles to go through to fully remove the effects of Kristoph and Daryan's betrayal, but it actually seemed doable with Apollo by his side.
"Ich liebe dich auch, mein liebling" Klavier murmured, dragging Apollo's head down to kiss him gently. He grinned as he felt Apollo smile into the kiss, before pulling back to bury his face in Apollo's chest again.
Apollo chuckled softly, "Ok, you can have ten minutes of cuddling but then I'm going to go make us something to eat." Klavier's only response was to hug Apollo tighter, smiling again as he felt his boyfriend squeeze him tighter in return, venomous thoughts silenced by the man in his arms.