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Talking About Your Feelings Is For Chumps

Summary:

“Who knew the weakness of such strong clan leaders would be one frail little man.”

Or, in other words, Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan finally talk to eachother. All it took was being kidnapped, watching Wei Ying get nearly beaten to death, and forcibly locked in a 8X8 foot cell together. Whack.

Notes:

I'm too lazy to write the lead up to this so quick exposition: they all went to an abandoned castle, but surprise - throne room was a trap. Wei Ying got nabbed by a golem, bunch of guards came out of nowhere and some evil lady appeared on the throne.

That's it, here we go-

Chapter Text

“Lower your weapons!” The woman spat from atop the staircase. “And I’ll consider not killing your friend here.”

“Lan Zhan, don’t-!” Wei Wuxian tried to cry out, but the golem squeezed tighter around his throat, cutting off his air supply.

“Now!” The woman sneered, her eyes narrowing.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan exchanged outraged glances, but then did as they were told. The sound of grinding metal defeaned the room as they sheathed their swords.

“No-!” Wei Wuxian croaked, desperately trying to breathe, but the golem would not relent.

“And seal your spiritual powers.” The woman ordered with a greedy grin.

Wei Wuxian tried again to protest, but he couldn’t get a word out past his own gasping.

Reluctantly, Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan both ran their hands across their chests and sealed their cores. The woman cackled from her throne.

“Who knew the weakness of such strong clan leaders would be one frail little man.” She smiled sadistically as the two stood helplessly watching Wei Ying struggle.

“What the hell do you want? Who are you?!” Jiang Cheng demanded, anxiously eyeing his brother, who was barely able to keep his feet on the ground.

“Oh, all in good time my friend. For now, you two are my guests - or, well, more accurately - my prisoners.” The woman’s grin widened, “Two sect leaders at my mercy, the possibilities are endless. I wonder how much your clans will pay in order to get you back?”

“That’s what this is about? Money?!” Jiang Cheng growled. If his core wasn't sealed, Zidan would have been sparking at his side. The woman laughed dryly.

“Oh, it’s so much more than that. But for now... some compensation will do nicely.”

“Release Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan demanded, his own hands trembling in anger as he watched the golem lift his husband higher into the air. Weak gasps escaped Wei Ying’s throat as he feebly tried to pry the giant's hand off his neck, his legs dangling beneath him. He was running out of time.

“Oh, I don’t think I can do that just yet. You see, as long as I have him, I can keep you two in line.” The woman smirked. “Golem, knock that degenerate out and take him away.”

“You-!” Jiang Cheng fumed, but it was too late. The two clan leaders watched, powerless, as the golem slammed Wei Wuxian’s head into the floor. There was a sickening crack as his skull connected with the stone and his body went limp. Blood trickled from his forehead and dripped off of his nose.

“Wei Ying-!” - “Wei Wuxian-!” The two cried out in unison. The woman scowled.

“You brute - do you not know your own strength? Did you kill him?” The woman glowered.
The golem blinked, then looked down at the unconscious man. Grasping onto Wei Wuxian’s wrist, the golem pulled him up by his right arm.

Wei Wuxian’s head lolled to the side, his eyes rolling into the back of his head. The golem stared intently at the motionless body, poking Wei Wuxian with one sausage sized finger, until a faint groan escaped his lips. The golem looked back up to his mistress, as if to confirm he had indeed not killed him. The woman simply rolled her eyes.

“Well, go on then - lock him up. And make sure you gag him. Don’t want any of that pesky whistling. If he’s too much of a problem, cut his tongue out.” The woman instructed.

Jiang Cheng and Lan Zhan both took threatening steps forwards, but there was nothing they could do. With gritted teeth, they watched as the golem began to trudge off with Wei Ying.

“Oh! And one more thing,” The woman turned to the golem. “Break each of his fingers. I don’t want to risk any chance of him playing the flute or using magic. I’ve heard he has an aptitude for doing the improbable.”

“You dare-!” Jiang Cheng seethed, but the woman snapped her head towards him, a devilish glint in her eye.

“Speak out again and I’ll have my golem break his arms too, is that what you want?” She said in a vile tone. Jiang Cheng bit down so hard that he could taste blood, but he didn’t say anything more.

As Wei Wuxian was dragged out of the room, the woman rose to her feet and clapped her hands together.

“Now then, guards! If you would be so kind as to show our new guests to where they’ll be staying.”

 

 

 

Jiang Cheng paced back and forth across the small, dirty cell. The guards had taken their swords, Lan Wangji’s Guqin and his Zidan, leaving Jiang Cheng feeling even more useless than before.

“Dammit!” He growled, slamming his hand against the wall. Lan Wangji, who had been meditating on his cot, gave him a stern look.

“Control yourself.” He said flatly, to which Jiang Cheng had to keep from punching the guy. Who was he to act so calm in all of this? Sitting all proper and tranquil like nothing was wrong - it was his husband currently in danger for crying out loud!

“Oh? Have I offended you and your infinite wisdom?” Jiang Cheng jeered, practically baring his teeth like an animal. “Well, not all of us can be as cold and uncaring as the great Hanguang Jun!”

Lan Wangji said nothing, but continued to watch Jiang Cheng as he marched back and forth along the bars.

“We need to find a way out!” Jiang Cheng growled, “We can’t just sit here!”

“There is no point wasting energy, it will not help Wei Ying. Compose yourself.” Lan Wangji repeated, closing his eyes once more.

“Compose myself?! Are you fucking kidding?! For once can you show an ounce of emotion? Worry even?? I can’t believe that idiot Wei Wuxian married such a heartless bastard!” Jiang Cheng’s chest heaved, his temper easily boiling over.

Out of all the people to be locked in a cell with, Lan Wangji was probably the worst possible candidate. The two had years of unresolved anger and hatred towards each other - not to mention their way of dealing with things was entirely different. Even after all of Wei Wuxian’s effort to smooth out the resentment between the two, they became nothing more than enemies with family ties. And right now, Jiang Cheng was beyond rage, and had nothing to take it out on except Lan Wangji. Put all of that into a 8 by 8 foot room and you’ve got yourself a problem.

Despite the verbal attack, Lan Wangji remained silent, focusing his attention on the floor rather than Jiang Cheng. This, of course, only made Jiang Cheng angrier.

“You son of a bitch-!” Jiang Cheng roared, closing the distance between the two with a singular leap. In one swift motion, he latched onto the front of Lan Wangji’s robes and yanked him to his feet. “Don’t you have anything to say?!” He screamed, his voice shaking.

“Jiang Wanyin, let go.” Lan Wangji said firmly, his face as slack as usual. Jiang Cheng’s lip twitched as he glared at the man in fury. A moment of tense silence stretched between the two, before Jiang Cheng finally relented and let go, giving Lan Wangji a hard shove backwards.

Hanguang Jun hit the wall, but managed to steady himself. Jiang Cheng turned and leaned against the cell door, clinging onto the bars so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

“What am I supposed to do?” Jiang Cheng said, his shoulders sagging. “What the hell am I supposed to do?” He said again, his tone defeated.

A pause.

“Wait.” Lan Wangji said, kneeling back down onto the floor.

“Wait?! For what?!” Jiang Cheng snarled.

“They need us alive, they’ll need to deliver food and water.” Lan Wangji said levelly.

“Are you kidding?” Jiang Cheng scoffed. “They’ll make us stand at the back of the cell so that we’re nowhere near them - that’s standard procedure. We won’t be able to grab them.”

Lan Wangji nodded, then lifted his sleeve.

“I know.”

On the inside of his wrist, there was a small dot of blood, just beneath his palm. At first, Jiang Cheng didn’t understand, but as he looked closer, he saw the smallest bit of frayed string poking out from beneath the skin.

“Is that-?” Jiang Cheng remarked, but Lan Wangji put a finger to his lips, signalling for Jiang Cheng to be quiet.

“I’ll use it when the time comes.” Lan Wangji said with a nod. Jiang Cheng studied him skeptically.

“That’s a pretty dirty trick for a Twin Jade of Gusu.” Jiang Cheng griped. “Where’d you learn something like that?”

“Jin Guangyao.” Lan Wangji said curtly.

“... Well... that makes sense.” Jiang Cheng muttered, crossing his arms. He was quiet for a moment before a realization dawned on him. “Have you had that in there the whole time??” Jiang Cheng stammered. Lan Wangji shook his head.

“No. I hid it when the woman was monologuing.”

“... Oh. I guess those ridiculous sleeves do come in handy.” Jiang Cheng mumbled. There was another span of silence.

“A golem.” Lan Wangji said quietly, almost as if to confirm the statement. Jiang Cheng nodded.

“I’ve never seen one before. I… don’t know much about them.” Jiang Cheng admitted, averting his eyes.

“I’ve only read of them. It’s unusual for one to be this far East.” Lan Wangji commented as he recalled his memory, “Golems are constructed from clay and obey a singular master. They are brought to life by writing God’s name on a piece of parchment and placing it under the tongue. The only way to stop them is to remove and burn the parchment.” Lan Wangji explained.

Jiang Cheng blinked. That had to have been the longest he’d ever heard the man speak in one go - and of course it was for a history lesson. Shaking his head, Jiang Cheng focused back on the conversation.

“So then, all we need to do is grab some piece of paper to kill it? Seems easy enough.” Jiang Cheng observed.

“Not that simple.” Lan Wangji said in monotone. “Golems are difficult to pin down. They possess unparalleled strength and can’t feel pain.”

“This just sounds like Wen Ning.” Jiang Cheng said with disgust, earning himself a scowl from Lan Wangji.

“Degenerate.”

“Excuse me?!” Jiang Cheng hissed.

“That is what the woman called Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji said. Jiang Cheng pursed his lips, but backed down.

Tsk. You could have worded that a little better.” Jiang Cheng grumbled.

“If we were the targets, why use such a word for him?” Lan Wangji continued, ignoring Jiang Cheng’s statement.

“I don't see where you're going with this,” Jiang Cheng said with an eye roll, “It didn’t mean anything.”

But Lan Wangji rumbled in disagreement.

“There are still many out there who hate the Yiling Patriarch.” Lan Wangji said in an almost accusatory tone, as if to say ‘And guess who’s fault that is?’

Jiang Cheng looked away. More silence.

“Sleep.” Lan Wangji instructed, closing his eyes. “Save your strength.”

Jiang Cheng huffed indignantly.

“Fine - but not because you told me to.” Jiang Cheng said in a petty tone, before plopping down onto the floor and rolling to his side.

Once settled, it occurred to Jiang Cheng that that was the longest conversation he’d ever had with Hanguang Jun, and maybe even the most civil. Who knew they just needed to be forcibly locked in a cell together for hours.

Though they both tried their best to rest, neither could relax. Between the sounds of guard footsteps, distant screams of other prisoners, and their own swirling thoughts - it was going to be a very, very long night.