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Giyuu doesn’t know when it started. Or how. Or why.
Maybe it was that day when Giyuu saw Sanemi feeding some stray dogs on his way to Oyakata-sama’s residence for a hashira meeting. The way Sanemi smiled so lovingly at the animals, watching them gobble the food given as if they were his children. Of course, Giyuu did not tear his eyes away from the sight of Sanemi, a usually brash and impulsive person, patting the dogs’ heads so gently.
Those fingers sure are long and slender. I wonder what it’d feel like to hold his hand.
Giyuu wasn’t stupid. He knew what Shinobu said was true to an extent. Sure, Mitsuri and Kyojuro treated him as a friend, and he knew despite the constant teasing, Shinobu would have his back if needed, but the strong resentment Sanemi and Obanai had for him was undeniable. And ever since the incident where Giyuu defended Tanjiro and Nezuko, he could feel the questioning stares the other hashiras gave to him.
Which is why this situation was extremely dire for Giyuu.
He had been coughing out flowers for the past few weeks. Petunias, to be exact. They were the exact same shade of purple as a certain pair of eyes Giyuu knew he stared at more than normal.
“My, my, Giyuu. You picked the worst person to have a crush on. Hanahaki disease isn’t easily cured, you know? He wouldn’t even politely reject your request for him to kiss you, but punch you in the face.”
“I’m assuming you don’t have some sort of cure for me to drink, do you?”
“Ah, always so blunt. If I could fix this, I would be the richest person in the world. Hey, don’t look so down, I’ll try to research and see what I can do, okay? In the meantime, you could try talking to him first. Maybe he’ll be nicer to you if you guys were friends.”
It’d been almost a month and a half since the flowers started appearing, and Giyuu still could not find an opportunity to approach Sanemi. He knew nothing about him - address, favourite colour, and... why he hated Giyuu so much. It was also getting more and more difficult to hide the pain he was experiencing. At first, Giyuu could still cough into his hand, and only one or two petunia petals would be tumbling out. But now, he had lost control of when he wanted to cough, and the intensity of the pain had amplified with time. Once, he had almost doubled over due to sudden flaring pain in his heart in a hashira meeting right after hearing Sanemi’s voice, and the terrible non-stop coughing while Oyakata-sama was speaking had garnered the concern of the others.
Shinobu had let Giyuu try at least ten of her concoctions by now, but none of them worked. Every time Giyuu visited the Butterfly Estate in hopes of ‘This might finally work’, he’d leave in an even more serious state than before.
It didn't help that Giyuu could never find the perfect opportunity to approach Sanemi. The only time when Giyuu saw Sanemi outside of hashira meetings, was when Sanemi walked into the Butterfly Estate just as Giyuu was leaving. Giyuu swore he could have seen Sanemi’s eyes perk up as their eyes met, but it was quickly replaced with his classic frown and him growling. “Well, fancy seeing you here, Tomioka. Finally decided to seek medical help for whatever you have going on with you?”
Hearing his name spoken by Sanemi triggered a bout of Giyuu’s terrible coughing. Knowing he would not be able to form coherent sentences when the man he so desperately loved was just standing in front of him, Giyuu did the only thing that came to his mind - running away.
“Oi, Tomioka, what the hell?”
I’m sorry for whatever it is that makes you hate me so much. I’ll be gone soon, so you don’t have to hate me anymore.
-
It had been almost three months since everything started, and it was getting more evident to the other hashiras day by day that something was seriously wrong with Giyuu. Because of the frequent coughing, Giyuu was unable to ingest much food and had thus shrunk incredibly in size. The coughing had also kept Giyuu up for nights, and the lack of sleep was starting to show through the eyebags he had. Oyakata-sama had offered to give him time off from missions, but Giyuu refused, telling the man it was just a normal illness and would go away with time. However, no matter how many different combinations of herbs Shinobu tried, it was to no avail. Sanemi’s temper had gone worse too, even banging the table once when Giyuu started coughing again. “For fuck’s sake, Tomioka, I can’t take this anymore!” Even the petunias were starting to be stained with Giyuu’s blood, and Giyuu wasn’t dense enough to not know that he was really going to die.
So when Sanemi was given a mission to eliminate a demon lurking in a nearby village, Giyuu immediately offered his assistance. If I am going to die, at least let me see his face one last time. As expected, Sanemi had burst out in a fit of anger shouting that he was capable of slaying a demon by himself, but as more and more signs pointed that the demon was possibly a Lower Moon, Oyakata-sama had persuaded Sanemi to let Giyuu follow.
-
I’m so useless. I’m really going to die here. I shouldn’t have come along. Now all I’m doing is just hindering Sanemi from attacking effectively because he has to keep an eye out for me too.
Giyuu had underestimated just how weak he had gotten over the past few months. With the petunias rooted in his lungs and slowly creeping towards his heart, he was no longer able to use Total Concentration Breathing, which had severely impacted his combat abilities. All it took was one blow from the demon, which was indeed a Lower Moon, and Giyuu could no longer stand. Everything around him became a blur after that -- the petunias were fighting to escape Giyuu’s lungs once again. This time, he coughed out an entire petunia, completely soaked in red. All Giyuu could do was to stare at it with trembling hands, knowing there was no way out from this.
And then he suddenly felt as if he was being lifted off the ground. Oh, that’s because I am being lifted off the ground. The Lower Moon’s arm was wrapped around Giyuu’s neck, squeezing the air out of his life. Giyuu could not even hear what the demon was saying, or what Sanemi was shouting. His throat had already been in so much pain due to the chronic coughing, and the Lower Moon did not need to use much strength to strangle him to death. Tears were pooling in Giyuu’s eyes now. He did not even have the energy to raise his arms up and fight back. All Giyuu could remember before passing out was Sanemi shouting what seemed like, “Don’t touch him!”
-
Giyuu wouldn’t be lying if he said he was surprised to still be alive.
I’m in bed. My left hand feels warm. I hear birds chirping. This must be Shinobu’s estate. Wait, why does my hand feel so warm?
Looking down, Giyuu found that Sanemi was sitting on a chair beside his bed, his fingers on one hand tightly interlocked with Giyuu’s left, while the other hand held his wrist.
Immediately after realising the fact that Sanemi’s hand was holding his, Giyuu felt a wave of coughing hit him again. “Hack, hack- Agh!” The incessant coughing stirred Sanemi up. Giyuu couldn’t even say anything before he found the petunias being stopped by another presence on his mouth. Oh. It’s Sanemi’s lips. Wait, what?
Sanemi stopped kissing Giyuu and buried his head in the crook of Giyuu’s shoulder, arms now wrapped around Giyuu in a hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry you had to go through so much pain because of me. Because I was too dumb and scared to admit that I like you. I don’t know how I fell in love with that pretty face of yours, but I know I don’t want to lose it. I didn’t know how to ask you if you were okay when everything started, then I got too jealous of you being around Shinobu so much to approach you until I came running here after you fainted from the Lower Moon attack and she explained everything to me. I’m sorry for being so hostile towards you all the time.”
Sanemi lifted his head and pressed his forehead against Giyuu’s, eyes still closed. “So please, don’t leave me, okay? I promise I’ll be good to you.”
Giyuu knew he always had a weak spot for those beautiful lavender eyes of Sanemi's. With his throat still hurting from everything that happened, he couldn't speak. So he simply smiled and leaned in to kiss Sanemi, arms embracing him too. Feeling Sanemi smile into the kiss too, Giyuu knew everything was going to be okay now.