Chapter Text
The summer air was nostalgically familiar, but it felt strange. Akashi used to love the summer breeze in this town, the scent and density was somewhat different from the other states of Japan and the other countries he has been to. No matter where summer was, he always preferred the one in his hometown, but after his long return, he felt like gagging. It was nauseous and strangely heavy. However, it was his home.
It has been six years since he and his family had left this place for the big city permanently. His Father had bigger plans and vision, and as the only sole heir of the decade old cooperation, he was forced to move along with his parents. Leaving all he had ever known behind; his house, his school, the mini markets, the fields where he played in, and most of all, his friends and best friend.
None of them had spoken for a while now. All he had known was cast away into dark at the back of his mind and never to be seen again. His father had groomed him, taught him, trained him, disciplined him and instilled the importance of carrying the Akashi name, it is in his pulsing veins, it was binding. He couldn’t run away from it even if he wanted to.
Akashi stared out at the window of the executive cab he was booked for. The once urban town of solitude and humbleness has gone through some changes while he was away, there were plazas and office buildings, more shop lots and bus stops. The once vast grassy fields now stood a museum of the city. He was still a distance away towards his destination, his old home. It is deeper and more secluded in a quiet area. Akashi rested his back against the leather seat and closed his eyes, the chauffeur will notify him upon their arrival soon enough.
“Mr. Akashi.” a voice of a middle aged man called out formally. “We have arrived at your destination.” Akashi opened his eyes and smiled thinly at the chauffeur. The passenger door was already held open for him to step out. When his leather shoe crunched against the stones and the summer breeze swished by gently, he felt light headed and woozy. However, his years of trained poise and control kept him from crumbling down. Akashi adjusted his blazer when he had stepped out. The scent of it all was a little too heavy for his liking, with his trained demeanour, he still had to unbutton his blazer down.
Akashi looked up at the large gates of the mansion. The black with golden vines designs, swirling the black steel were just as he last saw before he had left—and a face of whom had stood there watching him leave. Akashi shook his head from the memory. Only a moment there he felt his composure quake within him. There was a strong scent of freshly cut grass, his father must have had a gardener to trim them.
Akashi approached the large double gates, the size was just as he remembered but his height had grown considerably too judging by the locks. Akashi reached into his pocket and took out a set of keys with an old lion keychain which also came with a pair, he had stashed his keys in a box and had never touched it until it was announced that he was to return. “May I, Sir?” the chauffeur offered with his palm ready to assist. Akashi shook his head without turning an eye. “I got this.” he said in a good manner.
Akashi paid no mind to the surroundings and only keys his eyes upon his home. There was an itch he might trigger if he does so and he has yet to be prepared. He used the key which fit the stainless steel padlock, the click and turn of it was all too familiar, even as he unchained around the gates, it was as though that part of him had never left. When he had the gates opened he pushed them wide enough before turning back to the car, the chauffeur closed the door after him before jogging back to the driver’s seat.
Akashi watched as he was driven into the compound. The land was big, too big, greenery was spread wide and long as far as the eyes could see, but it was empty. Once the greenery field was filled with bushes, flower beds of all kinds but now it was there no more.
When they arrived at the mansion, Akashi exhaled the deep breath he took. He stepped out of the car when the chauffeur opened the door for him. The cobblestones looked as though they had never aged. While the chauffeur unloaded the luggages, Akashi stared up at the old house. Everything looked well maintained, although it was more polished and had no decoratives which they once had. The Akashi family had moved out of the mansion to the bigger city, but they had never left the estate, it was built by his great grandfather and passed down to his grandfather and then father, soon it is to be his. Akashi felt something seared in him.
“Your luggage, Sir.” the chauffeur informed. Akashi turned around and nodded to him. “I will take it from here.” he said to the chauffeur and took out his wallet and handed him a few bills. “Keep this for yourself. Thank you.” Akashi said to him. He tipped his hat and thanked Akashi graciously before jogging back to the car and drove off. Akashi purposely watched the car drive farther away until it was unseen again. Akashi breathed in deeply again in attempts to loosen his lungs before puffing out heavily. He looked down at his luggages. He had only two suitcases of two different sizes and his leather bag.
Akashi inserts a key into the keyhole and it fits perfectly. His keys were not labeled, but somehow he instinctively knew which individual ones were for. Just as in the old days. Akashi squeezed his eyes tightly as his hand gripped the polished handle. Even the curve of it was making him feel dizzy. Okay. Akashi took last deep breath and pushed it down, the doors swung open and the creaking echo greeted him, then there was silence.
The smell of familiarity wafted to him like dandelions carried by the winds. His face felt warm but his spine felt a kind of chill. His body felt heavy and light at the same time. However, he was trained to retain his composure, it kept with him to this day. Akashi stepped inside and pulled his suitcases behind him. He closed the door after himself and looked around: the interior and structure were well maintained, the dark wooden walls, floors, staircases and railings were polished. The furnitures were all intact and in place as they were before but there were no decorations nor any of the family’s personal items. But it was all still familiar, images of the past passed his vision along with the decorations here and there, the echo of voices that had long filled the house.
It was completely empty and silent. The mansion had never been silent. There were maids, cooks, butlers here and there on their errands and chores. Now they were only ghosts of the past. Akashi took off his leather shoes and neatly placed them neatly on the side, wearing only his black socks and he parked his suitcases by the stairwell and his bag atop. He graced his hand on the wooden handrail, he was taller now and his fingers were longer too but the touch of the wood was no stranger to him.
Quietly he walked up the steps, his eyes catching every clean detail that were once filled with something before. The hallways were more quiet. The curtains were drawn and tied to the sides so the lights poured in. Walking through he felt like his head was spinning, as though the place was tilting to the sides, it was not the best part of memories he had. He stopped at a large single door. It was once his room. He was not sure what was in there and how it had become, and he dared not recollect what it was once like. Akashi brought his hand up but he did not touch the knob, he only stared at the closed door. It was quiet, absolutely silent but the air was ghostly to him, it was as though something was waiting behind it. He dropped his hand and turned away eventually.
Akashi roamed the first part of the mansion. Everything was clean and maintained, not a single cobweb as well. When he went back down, he looked at his luggages. He had to take a room somewhere and his room was not an option he wanted. Akashi took his bags and went to one of the guest rooms on the first floor, not too far from his room.
The room was more of a decent size. There was a queen sized bed by the window, night stands at each side. A dresser, a study desk at different corners of the room. One sliding door to the closet and one door to the bathroom. “This should do.” Akashi spoke to himself and settled his suitcases. Akashi went into the bathroom and checked on the shower, the heater still worked and the water ran smoothly. He went back to the room and took the things he needed after his bath.
After Akashi had freshened up, he dressed himself in his dark jeans and a long sleeves T-shirt, the material was light for the summer so he only needed to fold the sleeves up below his elbow. He only towel his damp hair and hung the towels to dry. There were no plans in his schedule for a while, the family business was well taken care of by his father in the city and all he needed to do was settle himself in until…. Akashi drew the curtains down before walking out of the room, pushing away everything his mind was trying to creep on him. He needn’t need that for now.
Akashi went into the kitchen and inspected the cabinets and drawers. There was no food, only pots and pans, cutleries, plates and bowls. Akashi switched on the plug for the fridge, it was empty too but he needed it to be cold when he will be back from the grocery. Grocery. Akashi cringed at the thought. He was not prepared for this. Akashi ran his hand over his face and sighed. He looked out at the window of the kitchen facing the front estate. The greenery stretched so far it was almost impossible to see the main street, he could see the distant roofs of some neighbours and big bushy trees and the highest of the estate’s gates.
Akashi checked his watch on his wrist: 4:46 p.m, the day had gone by and soon he could take rest and only the next day would he let his mind start brainstorming to settle things through. But he needed groceries, he needed food, he was quite famish, perhaps even getting some tea would do him good. Tea. Akashi thought and remembered that he had some tea bags in his luggage.
Akashi came back to the kitchen with three packets of tea of different flavours and a small packet of cream biscuits from his flight. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for him to last ‘till tomorrow. He did not plan to roam out of the estate gates upon the day of his arrival.
While he let the water boil, Akashi set a cup and a teapot nearby. He took his unfinished novel and sat on the stool by the counter table in the kitchen. His mind began to ease itself, he thought of nothing, the sound of the evening birds chirping occasionally, the sound of the water almost hitting boiling point and his mind only read the passages of his book, picturing the story being told.
Three knocks came from the entrance door and Akashi’s breath halted. His spine tingled and his hand went cold. There was silence again. Akashi looked down at his watch, it was already 5:30 p.m. The knocks came again followed by a voice but it was too far and the doors were too thick for Akashi to hear it clearly if not at all. Akashi got up from his chair and placed his opened book upside down.
The knocks came again when Akashi reached, when he opened one door his heart drummed against his chest and chills traveled all over his body. He stared in shock as the man stood before him. Mousy brown hair, bangs slightly longer than when he last saw him, the back trimmed shorter, his eyes were the warmest of brown. His face was surprised at first but then he grew into a smile, it was bright as once upon a time before and beaming. “Seijuurou!” the man called.
Akashi stared at him, his dry lips parting and he could feel the sting from the cracks peeling. Akashi was speechless, his mind was thrashing within him, his hand gripped on the handle until it turned cold and pale. The expression on the man before him began to sour in confusion and worry.
“Se-Sei….” he softly tried to approach “Wa-wait—Seijuu— Hey! ” but before Akashi even knew it, he slammed the door, locking it instantly and backed away. The man knocked on the door again. “Seijuurou!” he called out but was muffled behind the thickness of the wood. Akashi breathed heavily until it became too tight and short he began to hyperventilate. His face felt hot, his ears began to pulse against his head, his eyes were hot and tears glistened, blurring his vision. Akashi covered his ears as the knocks kept coming and the calls of his name kept chasing him.
Akashi pressed his palms against his head but it did no good in blocking them out. When his back hit the newel, he ran into the closet under the staircase and shut the door. The closet was spacious and empty but it was pitch black. Akashi’s back hit the wall and he let himself sink to the ground. He could still hear the loud thumps of the main door. Stop. Stop. Please. Akashi breathed heavily, hot tears streamed from his eyes. Akashi shut his eyes tightly. Go away.
〆
Akashi woke up in darkness. His body was hot and sweaty, his face felt stiff and sticky. His mind drifted to the moment before he had passed out. The face he saw, all memories of the past had come to him, the pain and hurt he had to endure to leave behind. He didn’t want to, but he was forced to. The memories he had buried at the darkest part of his mind, they still remained special to him, but was he worth to say that it was?
Akashi inhaled deeply and rested his head on the wall. Feeling himself calm down a little bit. He recollected his composure and what he had been disciplined for all came back to him. He had crumbled at a moment he did not expect. Of course he didn’t expect, he wasn’t supposed to appear like that. Fuck. I slammed the door right at him. Akashi bumped his head against the wall.
Moments later, Akashi pushed himself and got out of the closet. The mansion was dark, the sun ray was seen no more. He looked down at his watch and the luminous dial glowed 8:57 p.m. Akashi sighed and turned on a switch which lit up a warm yellow light at the staircase. Akashi went to the main door and pressed his ear against it. He heard nothing. He unlocked and slowly opened the door, the crickets and singing cicadas greeted the night. There was nobody in sight as well, Akashi opened the door wider and stepped out.
“Hey.”
Akashi stumbled backwards, eventually slipped on his own heels and fell onto his bottom. A figure came out from the shadows and approached Akashi, he too had grown taller. The night was dark but Akashi could still see his face. Akashi pushed himself up and dusted himself. The other man laughed, it was just as melodious as he remembered, it ached.
“Are you Akashi Seijuurou? Because I don’t remember him ever tripping on anything.” he then said. Akashi then looked at him, they were standing face to face. Akashi could see the face in front of him. Akashi was mesmerised as he was shocked, the air around the man hadn’t changed. He exhumed calmness and warmth that could somehow always clear the fog in Akashi’s mind.
Akashi wanted to say his name but it was difficult. As though he was not holy enough to say it. “Hi.” Akashi greeted him finally. He surprised himself at the calmness of his tone. His father’s disciplinary methods were indeed effective. An Akashi shows no weakness. Well, except the part where he tripped on himself and fell hard on his ass.
The man in front of him laughed softly behind his hand and looked back at him with his soft brown eyes. They stood there, looking at one another. Both were speechless but seemed to have a lot of questions but not knowing where to begin. They eventually looked away from each other and elsewhere. This was never what was like between them, they grew up together, they played together, day in and day out always by each other’s side. They were best friends. Furihata Kouki, was his best friend.
“I—” they began together.
“—You—” they paused.
Akashi cleared his throat and gestured to Furihata first. Furihata rubbed his own arm. “I…. I’m sorry if I…. I just thought that….” Furihata went quiet and unsure. Akashi looked at him for a moment before he decided to speak.
“I’m sorry for that.” Furihata looked at him. Akashi’s eyes were calm and there was a formality which felt unfamiliar. “I was surprised by your unannounced appearance and—” the next word stuck in his throat, he felt like choking, gagging even. The pit of his stomach was churning and it felt like shit. Because it hurt him, it was painful to see his face again. It was painful to be back again. But Akashi had a duty, and he had to uphold his family name, thus, upholding his poise. He must not crumble down again. Akashi felt chills when he reminded himself.
“I was only shocked. It is all.” Akashi said eventually but Furihata looked at him differently, it was as though he could detect a lie from just his breathing. “I was unprepared.” Akashi said honestly with the same formality. Furihata looked at him for a while as though studying him. Eventually he sighed and smiled in relief. “My bad.” he said and laughed.
“Do you want to come in?” Akashi asked and Furihata chuckled. “I thought you’d never asked.” he said in his usual tone years ago. Akashi’s lips curled, it was weird, it was as if he hadn’t used the tiny part of muscle before. Akashi allowed Furihata in first before himself and shut the door after.
Furihata tailed behind Akashi to the kitchen. When the kitchen lights were on, Furihata saw the opened book pressed down on the marble countertop beside a cup and teapot. He sat beside the stool where Akashi had sat while Akashi went to the stove to refill the kettle with water. “Tea?” Akashi asked. “Sure.” Furihata replied while his eyes fixated on the novel on the table and smiled with familiarity, he turned to look at Akashi whose back was facing him.
After Akashi had placed the kettle on the stove, he turned around and leaned against the counter, his arms crossed loosely over his stomach. Furihata and Akashi stared at each other for a little while. Akashi studied Furihata now that they were under clear light, Furihata had trimmed the back of hair slightly shorter and grew out his bangs a little bit, his eyes were brown and wide, they looked as innocent as they always were, his facial features had matured as well but very slightly. Furihata’s cheeks tinted pink when he realised that Akashi was staring back at him. Akashi had grown too, he was a little taller, lankier but his muscles were still well defined beneath his shirt, Akashi was handsome, as he always was but there was something different about his eyes, there was a straint, certain dullness that Furihata didn’t quite recognise.
Furihata’s eyes shifted away briefly. “So….” Furihata trailed and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “How was uh…. Tokyo?”
“Loud.” Akashi said and Furihata laughed briefly and they were once in silence again.
Furihata played with his fingers while Akashi stared at him. Akashi could see Furihata’s brow that creased and increased, the way his irises shift here and there, the twitch of the corner of his lips, the rise and fall of his chest. Akashi was suppressing himself, suppressing the pain that he felt, but he was used to it. Used to constraining thoughts and feelings that were unnecessary whenever they were to emerge.
Furihata had questions, a lot…. But it wasn’t the best time either.
The kettle eventually whistled and Akashi turned around and turned off the gas. Furihata waited while Akashi prepared for a new pot of tea and took a new mug for Furihata. He poured the tea and slid the cup of tea towards Furihata who murmured a thanks.
“How have you been?” Akashi was surprised by the quick question the moment he took his seat across Furihata. Akashi blinked at him, there was something in Furihata’s eyes that was quite unsettling, perhaps it was the the way the irises stared into him, desperately in search of answers, perhaps it was the intensity and pressure of those eyes, or maybe it was a look of long endured pain. Akashi felt his chest squeezed. However, there was warmness, something that he had not seen for the longest time ever since he had left the life of this city, that look that he had not seen for so long that was the only one that could break down his walls that he barricaded.
Akashi felt his shoulder drop, he had not realised that they were tense. Akashi began to feel it, the crumbles, the quake, the solid ground that became wobbly. Then it stopped. “I’m alright.” Akashi smiled.
“How’s your parents?” Furihata asked again. Akashi didn’t blink, the quake was there again. Something behind his head was screaming but it was too far for it to reach. “My father’s doing well.” Akashi said almost bitterly. “My mother….” Akashi paused and sighed. Furihata was not only his childhood best friend, they did not only go to the same preschool, they did not only play cops and lawyers until day break, their mothers weren’t only friends. Furihata was a part of his life throughout, he was at every wind and storm, every sunshine and breeze. Of course Furihata would be concerned for his family, he was his family. “My mother passed away six years ago.”
Furihata’s breath hitched. Shock and despair was evident in his eyes. “I—” Furihata was speechless. Akashi’s mother was like a second parent to him, she had looked after Furihata and always instructed the maids to prepare an extra meal for Furihata, his mother was a close friend too. “I’m sorry, Sei. I—I wished I had known, I—”
“Please, don’t be.” Akashi intervened. “It was…. I should have…” written. Akashi dared not look at Furihata. Furihata remained quiet and allowed space for the other. Akashi appreciated this and relaxed his arms on the table. “She was already unwell early that year, before we left. I didn’t know it either.” Akashi breathed in and straightened his back, looking at Furihata. “When we arrived in Tokyo, her condition worsened. The doctors didn’t know what to do next, we had all the best medications in the world. We tried everything, the treatments only seemed to have made it worse.” Akashi clenched his intertwined fingers. “Before we knew it, she was already gone.”
Warmth enveloped his fisted fingers. When Akashi looked, it was Furihata’s hands, gently holding onto him. It washed him like waves to the shore. It had been so long since he had this feeling, so long since he had felt this touch. Akashi felt his hands loosened and as they opened, Furihata rested on his palms and Akashi curled his fingers. This was it. This was the embrace he had been longing for so, so long. Then the feeling of undeserving began to crept— “Sei,” Furihata called to him, voice slicing the fog that ghost his mind.
Akashi looked up at Furihata, his eyes were so tender, so open and warm. Furihata smiled at him. “The others would be so happy to see you again.” Furihata said softly. Akashi blinked. He had almost forgotten. Kagami, Kuroko Midorima, Takao, and Kise. Their other friends who became part of their lives. Akashi’s eyes softened, he smiled. “They’re still here?”
Furihata scoffed “Duh!”
Akashi chuckled softly, Furihata laughed and the air around them felt light. This was Furihata, he could make the clouds go away. They stare at each other for a moment, it had been so long since they last saw each other. All the creeping shadows that haunted the back of Akashi's mind had seemed to vanish as though it never existed. Then a small growl broke their trance off of each other.
Furihata blinked at him. Akashi pursed his lips and released Furihata’s hands.
“The kitchen is empty.” Akashi muttered. “I only have one packet of biscuit from my flight.”
Furihata stared at him. Then at the unopened packet of biscuit near the teapot. And then he laughed. “You should get some groceries tomorrow.”
Akashi smiled at him. “Yes.”
“I’ll go with you.” Furihata added cheerily. Akashi’s smile remained. “Yes.”