Chapter Text
You stand in front of their room, contemplating the decision you made ten minutes ago. In your hands are some chocolate cookies and a cup of warm milk. The gentle light of the overhead lamps casts over you, the light bouncing softly off of the doorknob.
You draw in a deep breath, knock, and open the door without waiting for a response. A few lit candles sit on the edge of Hange’s table, illuminating their room with a dark glow. You see them sitting at their desk, intensely scribbling on a piece of parchment paper. Their work is messily sprawled all over their desk.
“Yes, Moblit?” they ask, not even bothering to look up.
“Oh, uh… it’s actually Y/N.”
They immediately drop their pen and look up, “I am so sorry. I just thought it was Moblit with the papers again and-”
“It’s really okay. I just wanted to check up on you, and here are some cookies,” you say, as you set the cup and plate down on their desk.
Desperately, Hange tries to tidy the mess on their desk, accidentally knocking over the glass of milk. You rush over and move all of their precious work out of the way. They apologetically cleans up the spilled milk with their handkerchief and for a brief moment, your hands touch.
You quickly pull your hand back, electrified by the touch. Hange clears their throat.
“So…” they say, their voice slowly trailing off as they sit back in their chair. You can see their arm tightening as they reach over to grab a cookie. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah? I don’t know. I can’t fall asleep so I thought I’d see how you were doing.”
“You knew I was going to be up?” they tease as a smirk starts to form on their face.
“Why…why are you giving me that look?” you blush, feeling a smile coming. You sit on the edge of their bed and they turn towards you.
“Oh, what look?” they continue to eat a cookie, acting completely aloof.
You don’t answer, shaking your head at their playfulness. You notice that the usual eye bags are now a shade darker, and their body posture is fatigued and overworked. They notice you staring and sigh, almost slumping over.
“Look, I know what you’re about to say,” they exhale, “and I’m fine. Really. This new discovery has just been really important and I need to find out what this before I can take a break.“ their voice sparks with excitement as they point to the stack of papers.
“Hange…you need to rest. This isn’t healthy. Is Erwin forcing you to do this? If he is I will personally march to his room and-“
“No of course not, Y/N. I’m just really excited, that’s all. Plus, you don’t even know where his room is. Well, I hope you don’t.” they intercept you, giving a reason.
You laugh wholeheartedly, diffusing the tension built up inside of you. Hange looks at you, then after a moment, they giggle. Your heart skips a beat as you look at them. Their loose strands of hair sit atop their glasses, and everything else is tied into a messy ponytail. They look tired and exhausted in their work outfit, the very same one that they’ve been wearing for the past three days.
You can’t help yourself but let your mind wonder about tomorrow’s trip outside. Images of Hange riding on their horse, all strong and stoic. However, a part of you knows that something bad could always happen. They narrow their eyes at you, a wondering look on their face.
“What are you thinking about?” they gently whisper, sensing your quietness.
You take a deep breath and begin. “Tomorrow’s expedition. Something will go wrong. It always does. Who do I have to say goodbye to this time? What if I’m the one who dies? Our fate is the hands of titans, Hange. Every. Damn. Time. I’ve been on your squad for over two years and it never changes. I’m just so tired of it, and each time I see a fellow Scout getting eaten, or stabbed, or pulled apart, all I can picture are the looks of their family as we hand them whatever body part is left after. Most times it’s just a piece of their jacket. That’s all that’s left of them. And Levi is always the one who breaks the news.
“Captain Levi. That poor man. He’s saved so many lives yet he’s seen more die. I can’t even comprehend how he’s still okay. He’s probably not. Someone wound up that tight will burst sooner or later. I don’t want to become that, you know? I feel so bad for him. He desperately needs a hug.” You let it all out.
Hange slowly gets up from their chair and plops themself next to you on the bed. You patiently wait for any signs of a response from them, but you don’t get one. You turn and look at them, half-expecting for them to be asleep. However, they’re very much awake, deep in thought.
After a few minutes, they finally say something. “I know how you feel. It’s tough to always have to worry, right?”
You nod silently, your vision slowly blurring with tears. “I’m sorry I brought it up. I’m sorry that I spiraled out of control. I shouldn’t have.”
Hange sighs and scoots closer to you. They loop their left arm around you, and you lean in.
Scents of rose petals complimented with notes of earthy musk alongside with a whiff of aromatic vanilla from the cookie washes over you.
So this is what they smell like? you think to yourself, content with the situation right now. You can hear Hange’s heartbeat loud and clear, it’s steady rhythm calming you down. Ba-Dum. Ba-Dum.
“I feel like there’s something that you aren’t telling me. Why are you so worried all of a sudden?” they ask, breaking through the comfortable silence.
You sit there and contemplate whether you should tell them. You do. “I’m so scared that I’ll lose you.”
A moment passes.
“Oh. Really?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s…actually really nice to know.”
“What?” you whisper.
They turn towards you, your faces a few inches apart. “It’s nice to know that you care about me.”
Taken aback by the sudden closeness, you sputter, “Hange, of course I care. Knowing you for these last four years have been the best four years of my life. You’re absolutely unbelievable, you know that? Thank you for being a great…friend.” You hesitate on the last word, not quite sure how to phrase it.
It was no secret that you’ve always found Hange undeniably attractive, but you always thought that it was just a harmless little crush, something that would pass with time. Yet, it didn’t, and you don’t think it ever will, especially with these late night ‘checkups’ that keep happening.
“Well, you’re a great friend too!” they gush, their normal self returning to the situation.
You feel this devastating sense of disappointment, but a part of you always knew that Hange would never reciprocate the feelings you had for them. You look away from them, and you realize that you’ve been in their room for a while.
“Crap.” you say as you stand up, dragging yourself away from Hange’s body.
“What’s wrong?” they blurt out as they looked around, alarmed by your sudden movement.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. It’s just almost two in the morning, and we need to be up in six hours.”
They nod in realization, and their shoulders instantly drop at the thought of sleep. Their cute, warm, light brown eyes look at yours, and you automatically smile at how adorable they are.
“Do you…are you going back to your room?”
What else could I do? you ponder whilst looking at Hange. “I mean, could I stay here? I have a really bad feeling that I’ll have a nightmare and I don’t want to have to wake up to that.”
“Oh yes, of course! You take the bed, okay? I’ll sleep on the chair.” they insistently say.
“What? No! I can’t make you sleep on the chair in your own room!”
“You aren’t making me!” they chime, oblivious to whatever you’re saying. “I’ll go change in the bathroom to give you some space to settle in. Do you need anything?”
You shake your head as you look yourself up and down. Pajamas? Already wearing them. Water? There’s some on Hange’s bedside table. Fluffy socks? You’ll be fine without them for a night.
You take a seat on Hange’s fluffy armchair, ready to get some sleep. They walk out of their bathroom in a white tank top with a pair grey shorts, their hair ruffled and untied. They take one good look at you before shaking their head.
“What?” you ask.
They laugh. “You were so stubborn the first day I met you, and you really haven’t changed.”
“No, this isn’t being stubborn. I’m just being polite and a respectable room guest.” you giggle, throwing a pillow at Hange.
They catch it with one hand, and before you know it, that very same pillow hits you straight on your face. “Ow! That hurt! You’re going to pay for that!” you roar as you leap at Hange, tackling them onto their bed.
One moment, you're on top. The next, you aren’t. Hange pins you down as you both laugh, their body caving in to yours. You look into their eyes and everything seems to stop. The laughter, your breathing, time. Hange realizes the position they have put you in, and they jump back right away. Your face is flushed and warm, and you can’t seem to look at Hange in the eyes.
“I…uh…we should go to bed, huh?
“Yeah.” They pause. “Yeah. We really should. I’ll take the chair.”
This time, you don’t say anything about that arrangement.
Hange takes a pillow and an extra blanket whilst you slide under the heated covers.
“Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Goodnight Hange.” you murmur as you feel yourself drifting off to sleep.