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From the moment her mother set eyes on Sanjay Ramakrishnan, across the room at Sarah Jane’s New Year’s Eve party, Rani resigned herself to her fate: not a permanent one, of course, but the temporary fate of having to have a very awkward conversation with Luke’s university roommate at some point in the near future.
“You’re such a cliché, Mum,” she groaned, halfway through the inevitable conversation on the afternoon of New Year’s Day. “You know how people always ask us if we know Mr Patel from the shop on the corner by their house, as if every single Indian person ought to know each other? Things like this don’t help to dispel that myth!”
Gita feigned innocence. “I don’t know what you mean, bete. We have mutual friends.”
“You don’t! You got the name of his maternal grandmother out of him and called up the Masi Network!”
“Well, I knew I’d heard the name before. Ramila Aunty knows the family well. Her Simran was at school with Sanjay’s sisters, including his Simran, and before Mithun got that nice BMW they used to—”
“Alright, alright,” Rani said, cutting her off with a sigh. “I didn’t ask, by the way, but you’re just proving my point. There’s no way you knew all that offhand. And I don’t mind, even, but I really thought I’d made it clear that I don’t want your help finding... anyone. I thought you were OK with that?”
“Of course,” Gita said primly. “I would never try and force you into anything, Rani, and goodness knows I know what it is to marry for love. My parents would never have picked out your father... far too common.”
Rani grinned at that, despite herself. But her mother wasn’t finished, naturally.
“I promise I’m not scheming for anything, but really, what harm could it possibly do to get to know such a nice young man a little better?”
“No harm, exactly,” Rani said, although her thoughts did turn briefly to Clyde. She’d explain it to him, and he’d either sympathise or make fun of her, she didn’t mind which. They didn’t exactly have an understanding, but he’d understand this, at least. “I just think it’ll be a bit weird. I’ve only met him once.”
“You only meet anyone once before the second time,” said Gita, and with that smug but rather circular reasoning she departed from the room, leaving Rani alone to cringe.
Sanjay’s mother, who from the sound of it was a similar mixture of free spirit and traditionalist, arranged to accompany him down to Ealing the following Saturday for the Dreaded Introductions, and Rani tried to put it out of her mind as much as she possibly could. Clyde, as she’d hoped, found the whole idea riotously funny, but she couldn’t really gauge Luke’s reaction to it well enough on their semi-weekly group video call. Texting him afterwards proved still more cryptic.
In the end Rani gave up - nothing was going to come of it anyway, so it wasn’t like she’d affect Luke’s friendship with the guy. No gory details were going to reach his innocent little ears, and no messy breakup was going to make him choose between old friend and new. This was just her mum, betraying the secret hope she’d always denied: that in her heart of hearts, she’d like it best if Rani’s happily-ever-after were in the arms of a certified Nice Indian Boy - not an unknown, and certainly not a rogue element like the former resident clown of Park Vale sixth form.
Not that she was keeping any spaces open for Clyde.
“I can see it now,” he said, in an annoying dreamy voice that was pushing him further out of the question by the second. “You, in a white dress. Me in a little peach number with bows. I’m hoping I’ll at least get to be chief bridesmaid since Luke will obviously be best man.”
Rani rolled her eyes. “For a start, I’d be wearing red. In this parallel universe, where my my mum is picking the groom, she’s picking the whole wedding colour scheme. So I’d better teach you how to put on a sari before the week is out if you’re gonna commit to the role.”
“Bring it on. I’d kill in a sari.”
“You’d kill some of my aunts, it’s true. Ugh, Clyde, what am I even supposed to say to this guy? He’s got to know this is all my mum, right? Not me.”
“I’m sure he’ll get the picture if you scowl at him the way you scowl at me.”
“I don’t scowl at anyone the way I scowl at you.”
Clyde grinned infuriatingly. “Aww.”
“Stop it.” Unable to resist, she found herself grinning back. “I don’t suppose you feel like stepping this up a level, do you? Come and declare yourself tomorrow morning and maybe I can get out of this whole thing.”
His eyes widened. “No fear. If your dad got one whiff of that he’d make sure to marry you off. Forget ‘introductions’, he’ll be getting Sanjay to sign on the dotted line right there in your living room.”
Rani laughed. “He doesn’t hate you any more, you know.”
“‘Hate me’, no, but there’s a long way to go before he’d be open to us actually going out.”
“Maybe Luke, then.”
“Luke what?”
“Luke could pretend to be my boyfriend.”
“Now you’ve got to be joking.”
Rani raised an eyebrow. “Were we not already joking?”
“You know what I mean. Your parents would hate the idea of me, but at least they might believe it.”
“What, I’m not good enough for Luke?”
“No, you’re just—”
Clyde stopped. For half a second his face was unreadable. Rani wasn’t used to that. He returned to himself quickly, anyway. “I dunno. I’m probably just disagreeing ‘cause...”
“‘Cause you’re jealous?”
“I never said it.”
Rani gave him a nudge. “Hey. You know you don’t have any serious competition. I think I’ve told you before, it’s probably no-one, but if it has to be someone, it’s you.”
“Yeah. Feels better and better every time you say it, that one.”
The twinkle was back in his eye now, so when Rani kissed him on the cheek it was affection, not pity. “I better get back home. Dad and I are trying to convince Mum she doesn’t need to repaint the hallway before they come.”
The first part of Saturday afternoon was predictably terrible, and Rani gritted her teeth into a smile as her mother rattled off her A Level results, weight at birth, dental history and recent activities with the newspaper internship. The latter she didn’t particularly mind, and would probably have recounted herself if given half a chance, but the rest of it was very embarrassing and she had to force herself not to look pointedly at the floor throughout.
After what felt like an eternity - in which, to be fair, Mrs Ramakrishnan did her level best to be at least as embarrassing as Gita - the two mothers, almost in one voice, suggested that Rani and Sanjay take themselves off for a walk.
“Show Sanjay the neighbourhood, bete,” Gita said, and might as well have openly winked for all the subtlety involved. “Take him to all your favourite places.”
Unthinkingly, Rani winced at her mother’s gauche phrasing, and to her relief, she saw the ghost of a reassuring grin on Sanjay’s face when she glanced at him. To escape the awkwardness, she’d not spent a lot of time looking at him, but she found him now to be open-faced, humour dancing at the edges of his mouth. There was no denying that he was very handsome. Taller, too, than she’d realised when they’d briefly met earlier in the week. It was almost a shame for her mum that there was nothing in it.
“Come on, then,” Rani mumbled, leading Sanjay towards the front door. “The highlights of Ealing West await.”
Once out in the air, both of them gave audible sighs, and then each laughed at the sight of their own feelings painted clearly on the other’s face.
“Mothers, eh?” Rani said. “Sorry you got dragged down here. I should probably have warned Luke to stash you away in the attic before my mum got to the party.”
Sanjay chuckled. “I don’t mind, honestly. Like you say… mothers. Not that I’d mind having a peek in that attic, though. That’s where the computer is, yeah? Sometimes Luke talks about that thing like it’s a member of the family.”
“Really,” Rani said, chuckling lightly. “He’s funny like that.”
“Yeah.”
Sanjay’s expression glazed over slightly.
Rani shifted from the doorstep. “Um, we can go down by Sladen Park, I guess. It’s… left at the corner.”
They set off, and Rani made casual conversation quite easily by asking Sanjay about his studies, and life in halls with Luke. He answered the former briefly, preferring instead to dwell more on Luke, but Rani supposed that made sense. Luke was one of her best friends, after all, whereas what knowledge she had of Sanjay’s field - astrophysics - was more based on necessity under fire than genuine scientific interest. And she couldn’t exactly explain why that was.
“It’s funny, though,” Sanjay mused at one point, as they ambled through the park. The January air was still but cold, and Rani’s breath swirled in dainty clouds in front of her, mingling with his. “Your mum telling all those stories about you as a kid. I don’t know any of that stuff about Luke.”
Rani hummed uneasily. “Well, my mum’s a classic oversharer. Nobody needed to know the Barbie karaoke story.”
“On the contrary. I enjoyed it.” His grin was audible. “I cringe whenever my mum opens her mouth too, but it’s nice, in a way. They’ve stored up all those little details. Everyone should have that.”
“Well,” said Rani, not sure how to field this, but feeling the need to come to Sarah Jane’s defence, “I’m not sure Luke played with many Barbies. But he—” she faltered. “Sarah Jane is a different kind of mother, I guess. She grew up without hers so she’s got no chain of acute embarrassment to continue with Luke. I’m sure she still remembers things.”
And she’s only got six years of things to remember, she added silently in her head, so the percentage is probably higher, if anything.
“Ah, that’s a point,” Sanjay agreed. “I figured maybe, since he was adopted… I don’t like to ask much. Luke says he’s only ever lived with his mum, with Sarah Jane, I mean, but then other times it seems like he grew up somewhere completely different. Another country or something. He doesn’t remember any cartoons, for instance. From being a kid, I mean. It’s weird.”
“Luke’s not weird,” Rani snapped.
When she spun to face him, Sanjay looked genuinely horrified at the accusation, and she felt a bit sorry for him.
“I know,” he said, “I know, he’s not weird, he’s… he’s brilliant. I…”
“Sorry,” said Rani, when it became clear he wasn’t finishing that sentence. “I just… I love Luke a lot, but I know people don’t really get him sometimes. I didn't at first, either. It makes me way more defensive than he really needs me to be, ’specially when he’s not even here.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Sanjay said quietly. “It’s nice. I’m glad he’s… it’s good he’s got friends like you. And Clyde. He talks about you two all the time, I know he misses you.”
Rani smiled. “I bet. We miss him too.”
“And maybe you’re right,” he continued. “Maybe I don’t really get him. I’d like to. But he’s… I don’t know. He leaves so much out that I always feel like I’m prying if I ask anything else.”
“I know what you mean,” Rani said. This, at least, she could say without fabricating: “Sarah Jane’s a bit like that, too. It’s a Smith thing. It can take a while for them to open up, but they’re worth it.”
“I was willing to bet,” Sanjay murmured. He seemed far away.
Rani thought for a few moments, then, “Look, I’m obviously not gonna tell you all Luke’s business, and I recognise that you’re not asking me to, but since you obviously care about him maybe I’ll just say this.” She curled her side fringe around her ear, mentally rehearsing it. “The reason you don’t know much about his childhood is to do with his adoption, but you… not in a way that you need to worry about. He’s fine. It was, um, unusual circumstances, but not... particularly traumatic, compared to what you might be imagining. It’s just...” She sighed. “Yeah, sorry, this isn’t very informative. But I’m sure he’ll tell you eventually.”
She wished there was a non-scary sounding way to say, ‘It’s for your own safety’. But you couldn’t go around telling people’s new acquaintances that they had to wait for an alien invasion to happen right in front of them before you’d fill them in. The only way into this life was accidental, and for good reason - if you electively told someone to join you on a case, and then they died, it might not be your fault directly, but you’d be the one living with it.
Still, the way alien invasions followed the Smith family around, it probably wouldn’t be long before Sanjay got initiated. And maybe they could use an expert on stars from time to time.
“Anyway,” Rani continued, “I’m only saying this ’cause I feel like you should know it’s not that he doesn’t like you, or… trust you, or whatever. It’s just a bit complicated.”
“Thanks, Rani.” He sounded more moved than she was expecting.
“Don’t mention it.”
By this time they’d circled Sladen Park, and come back to the path they entered by. “Back to mine?”
“Lead the way.”
Rani chuckled as they neared the foot of Bannerman Road. “The mums are going to ask what we talked about all this time and we’re going to have to say ‘Luke’.”
“Do we have to?” Sanjay asked, a little too quickly.
Rani blinked. “I was joking, but... no, we don’t have to.” She coughed, not really understanding the sudden awkwardness that had been injected back into their rapport. “What are we going to say, then? We probably shouldn’t lead them on, and... I don’t think you’re any more interested in me than I am in you. Sorry if that sounds...”
“It doesn’t,” Sanjay said, coming to her rescue. “You read this right.”
“Oh, thank God, that was going to have sounded really mean otherwise.”
“Don’t worry. I’m used to this conversation,” Sanjay said, shrugging. “I’m fighting a losing battle. My parents are desperate for me to be interested in a girl, just to be sure I’m not...” He froze up suddenly. “You don’t really want to hear this, probably. Sorry, you’re... we’re strangers. It feels like I know you, but it’s only through Luke, so you don’t need the TED Talk on Why Sanjay is Messed Up.”
“Oh,” said Rani, faintly. “I mean... I don’t mind hearing it. You’re important to Luke, so, by extension...”
She let the sentence hang, assuming he’d hear the implied ending. Nothing seemed forthcoming, though, so in the quiet she rifled her mind back through the afternoon. Just to be sure I’m not... what?
You’re losing your touch, Chandra, she chided herself, as something shifted and clicked inside her brain. It all made a little more sense now: his pensive references to Luke’s past, the forlorn hope that glimmered in his eyes when she’d said he was important to him, the fact that they’d spent the better part of two hours regaling each other with stories that centred around Luke when they were supposedly out here getting to know one another. His parents being so keen for him to have a girlfriend – no, for him to be interested in a girl, even.
Rani wasn’t sure what to do with her epiphany. She hadn’t really ever considered what Luke’s orientation might be — that was sort of part and parcel of the a-spectrum thing, she reasoned, it just wasn’t as fascinating to her as it was to everyone else. She couldn’t particularly give Sanjay any hope or any closure, either.
“Tell him,” she said, all of a sudden.
Sanjay blinked back at her.
“Tell him you like him,” Rani clarified. “I think you should.”
He gave her a long look.
“I will,” he said. “One day.”
“Promise?”
He looked sheepish. “I’m not sure I can promise that.”
Rani gave him a sympathetic grin. “Okay. We’ll work on that. Hey! We can tell the mums we talked about the future. Goals and aspirations.”
“Goals and aspirations,” he repeated. “We can probably get away with that.”
“Plus we have a project for our second meet and greet. I want to hear that TED Talk, for a start.”
He made a face. “You might regret saying that.”
“I doubt it.”
They paused at the end of Rani’s drive, looking across the road at number 13.
“Goals, aspirations. Childhood, parenting styles. Mutual friends.” Rani ticked them off on her fingers. “After the TED Talk, we go back to that last one, hmm?”
Sanjay grinned. “That one I can promise.”