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George really wasn’t having that good of a week. It’s been a mess and a half and trying to come to terms wasn't going that great. He really thought it would be okay, he didn’t understand how it could have possibly turned out this bad.
It took him years to discover himself and accept the fact that he wasn’t as straight as he thought. It took ever more courage to come out to his family and he really thought, hoped, that it would be fine. His parents always seemed so open, but as it recently turned out, that only applied if it wasn’t their child that wasn’t straight. Which sucked, it really, really did. The words he heard that day will probably never leave his mind, forever there to torment him when he lets his guard down.
It’s been tough. He cried, a lot. For hours. And when the tears ended he just stared at the wall desperately trying to not let any thought slip into his mind, so tired of repeating the same things again and again and again.
He closed off from everyone for a while. Only a few days, but enough to make both his friends and fans worry. He couldn’t stay like that. There were things that needed to be done. The MCC was today and he couldn’t just not show up, even if he still felt like a complete wreck. It’s been planned for weeks now.
Turning everything on he took a deep breath starting the stream. With a smile on his face, he welcomed everyone in.
“Welcome to the MCC winner POV.” He tried to laugh, but it sounded fake. “Sorry for the quiet days, had something going on.” The facade really wasn’t that great, he has never been a good actor. He connected to the discord channel. Maybe having more voices would help the stream not feel so stiff.
“George!” A familiar voice spoke. “Where were you man? I couldn’t get a hold of you for the last week.”
“I… uh, was busy with something Sapnap.” He prayed that the topic would be dropped for now.
“Dream’s been going crazy you know, he misses you.” George’s heart stuttered a little.
“It’s… been only a little while though, I’m sure he’s fine.”
“Dude, you two usually talk like, daily, for hours. Trust me, you should call him later.” His chat was going crazy about the conversation and his cheeks were red with both guilt and some other emotion he wasn’t ready to name just yet.
“I will.”
The rest of MCC didn’t go that well for George, but that was to be expected. They obviously didn’t win, but that wasn’t too big of a deal, at least the whole group had some fun. George even felt a bit stupid. He shouldn’t have closed off in his head. Sapnap clearly knew him enough to be gentle with what he said today and that meant more than George could ever put into words. He didn’t feel ready to open up completely, but for the past days, he made himself feel like he had nothing and no one when that obviously wasn’t true.
As soon as he ended the stream and said his goodbyes to his teammates he received a discord call from Dream. George was okay, he could do that.
“Dream…” Or maybe he couldn’t, his voice soft and trembling a little at the end.
“George.” An equally soft response came from Dream’s mouth. “I was worried.” There was no accusation in those words which made George feel even more guilty.
“I… I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I’ve seen some of your stream when I could. You know I’m here, right? Even if you’re not ready to talk.” A lump formed in George’s throat.
“Dream…” A half whine escaped his lips. “I can’t. Not yet, I’m not ready to face my thoughts again.”
“That’s fine. Do you want to stay with me on call though? I missed you. We can talk about anything else.” If George didn’t feel like a melted pile of goo before, he definitely did now.
“Of course I want to stay.” He hesitated a little. “I missed you too.” Sentence almost too quiet to be heard. In normal circumstances, he probably wouldn't say that, but he felt raw and like he owned that to Dream.
“I had this new idea for a challenge we could do.” Said Dream sparing him from more embarrassment. “ I thought that we could...”
They talked for hours, long enough for George to start feeling sleepy and exhausted, but more importantly, happy. He really did miss his best friend. They would bicker with each other and argue, but for the most part, Dream was just there for him. George never knew how to give back what he received, even though he was the one Clay always called when he felt anxiety creeping on him. They depended on each other, needed each other. At least that’s what George felt.
---
Gorge was standing in an airport waiting for someone. He wasn’t really sure for who, only that person was very important to him. The people around him seemed to move in slow motion, their silhouettes blurring together, all of the faces hidden away from sight. It was very loud and impossible to catch even a single word among the wave of sounds rolling through the main hall.
“George.” - a familiar voice spoke from somewhere behind the brown-haired man. George could feel his heart speeding up, a flush appearing on his face. He wanted to turn around and face the man, however, he found himself unable to move, his feet stuck to the ground as if his soles were covered with superglue.
“Dream! You’re here.” He said turning his head from one side to the other desperately trying to face the younger man.
“I am, but George, did you really think you could deceive me?” The voice turned cold, almost cruel. George felt his smile slipping from his face.
“W-What do you mean?”
“Did you really think I would still want to be your friend when you have been gay all this time?” A hand grabbed George’s shoulder and forcibly turned him around. The man found himself looking at a familiar smile on a white mask. The little black dots seemed to stare right into his soul filling him with fear and coldness.
“You are disgusting George. Tricking me into being your friend when you had feelings for me all along.” A sharp breath was taken, catching slightly in the middle of the older man’s throat.
“Did you hope I would like you back? Did you wish that one day I would look at you the way you want me to? Did you really think I would give my heart to you?” Each sentence is spoken with more cruelty, each putting a knife straight through George’s heart. A laugh without a shadow of humor echoed through the now-empty hall.
“I don’t even trust you enough to show you my face! What made you think I even liked you? You are so incredibly stupid” Not a word back felt from George’s lips for a while, too hurt and shocked to the response. Dream’s mask mere inches from his face, his presence in no way warm and comforting, the way that George imagined it would be the first time they met. George's mind was beginning to spiral down, question after question appearing in his head.
“I don’t… I don’t have feelings for you...?” The sentence more an inquiry than a statement.
“Don’t you? Who are you trying to convince? Even you don’t believe these words.”
---
George woke up pale and shaken. Does he have feelings for Dream? He obviously lo… loves him, even if it is hard to say these words, even to himself, but it’s not that kind of love, right? He’s not… in love with Dream, is he? He knew that there was some feeling that sometimes floated to the top. Even during his streams when Dream did something that was particularly cool, as he does, George's entire being filled with pride and amazement and one could see in his eyes the immense feeling of soft fondness.
He needed to think. Dream was… obviously amazing. They could talk for hours on end, never stopping or slowing down and never running out of things to say. They would call each other whenever one of them felt down or anxious and they both trusted each other to be vulnerable around the other. Dream was constantly at his side when he needed him and he understood him better than any other person in his life. He would know when George felt insecure and immediately shower him with compliments. He would tell him that he loves him, not expecting it in return, knowing how hard it was for George to say those words. Clay always knew what to do to make him laugh and he was just there. Never judging, always there to listen and make everything better.
George couldn’t even imagine his life without the other man. He was almost everything to him. He… he… George did love him. He loved Clay so, so, so much. The feelings in his heart were overwhelming, filling him fully and rising up to his throat. George wanted to be with Clay always. He wanted to be able to see him, to hold his hand, hug, and cuddle. He wanted to be able to embrace Dream’s face with his hands and pepper it with kisses. He wanted so much, too much.
You are disgusting George.
It wasn’t meant to be his. He knew that. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want to address those feelings. It was so good when they were together, but they could never be what George wanted them to. Tears started falling in rivers from his eyes running down his cheeks and dripping on the pillow. He covered his face with his arm while sobbing uncontrollably, his whole body shaking with each sob. It was so messed up. Why did he have to go on and fall in love? Why? Even if it made so much sense for him to do so, even if Clay was just fucking perfect, why did he have to do it?
---
The second time George woke up it was already past noon. After opening his eyes he just stared into nothingness without focus. The night was an emotional nightmare for him. He felt drained, but also as if he only moved he would start shaking and crying once again. Just don’t… don’t think. He sat up in his bed, his moves stiff and automatic. Stand up. Wash your teeth. Take a shower. Wear something. Eat breakfast. Do the dishes. And now what?
The phone on his nightstand blinked with unread messages. Both Sapnap and Dream tried to contact him while he tried to trick himself into functioning like a normal human being.
Sapnap:
12:22 PM: Hey dude, how are you today? Are you up for some Minecraft later?
12:56 PM: Are you still asleep?
1:29 PM: I will assume you are, just message me later, ok?
2:17 PM: Dude, isn’t it like 2 PM for you? Please just write back.
George:
2:57 PM: Hey, sorry. I woke up late and forgot about my phone until after I ate something. I don’t think I’ll play today, sorry.
Dream
12:34 PM: Good morning Georgie! I hope you feel better today :). Sapnap wants to play some Minecraft later on in the day, you up for it?
1:13 PM: George… please respond. Are you still asleep?
2:04 PM: There is no way you are still sleeping. Please message me back. You’re making me miss you again :(
2:12 PM: Geoooorge
2:18 PM: Geooooooooorge
2:32 PM: ;___;
George:
3:04 PM: Hi. I already messaged Sapnap and told him I don’t really feel like playing today. I’m sorry for not responding, I slept for a long time and then forgot about my phone.
Not even 5 minutes after sending the message Dream called him, which shook George right out of the state he was in causing him to start panicking. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to talk to Clay so soon after figuring his feelings out, but he didn’t want to ignore the younger man. It was okay. He had to learn how to let go of this love either way because there is no way he is giving Clay up, so he might as well start practicing not showing the emotions right now. He took a deep breath to gather some strength before answering the call.
“George.” The name said with the same intonation as the day before. George loved that voice. It was so warm and caring.
“Hi Dream.” He responded, face already slightly flushed.
“You really like making me worry.” George was so, so warm, but also so sad.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
“I hoped you would feel better today. Not completely good, but better” George found himself returning back to everything that made him so messed up since last week. He could feel the weird tickling in his nose and squeezing in his throat that promised more tears if he didn’t stop himself. He was so bad at hiding things.
“ I was better, yesterday when we talked.” He couldn’t make his voice sound not as if he was about to cry. “But it’s so hard, Dream. I don’t know how to process, I don’t know how to function, I can’t think properly. “ He so fucked up. He didn’t want to throw his problems at Dream, he didn’t want to be a burden, but somehow the younger man's presence always made him spill everything out. He couldn’t hide a single thing. He didn’t even deal with the fact that his family didn’t accept him and now he was so overwhelmed with the fear that Clay wouldn’t accept him either if he knew about George’s love. He was crying properly now. “I don’t understand why I am like that.”
“Shhh, George, Georgie. I’m here. I’m always here.” Each sentence filled with so much care. How could George not fall for this?
“You are perfect, you hear me? You are absolutely perfect and it’s okay to be sad. You don’t have to deal with everything right away. Give yourself time.” The only response from George was more sniffling and small gasps for air.
“Och, baby. Would it be easier if I was there?” A sharp intake of breath. Both at the word ‘baby’ and the implication of the question.
“I don’t… I don’t want to be a burden. I don’t want you to leave everything to fly to me just because I can’t… can’t…”
“Shhh, sweetheart. I want to be there for you. Wouldn’t it be nice? To finally see each other face to face?”
“Yes. Yes, but Dream…”
“No buts, Georgie. I’m gonna be with you in a few days, okay? I’m gonna make sure you have all the support you need.”
“I don’t. I don’t even know what to say. I can’t stop crying.”
“It’s okay. Just let it all out, you don’t have to say a single thing.”
---
George was already resigned. There was no way he would be able to hold all his emotions back once Dreams is here, right in front of him. There is no hiding it, Dream will realize. At the very least he will get to see his best friend’s face, maybe get a hug or two if he’s lucky before everything falls apart. The only thing he wishes for is for their friendship to prevail. Even if Clay would never want to see him face to face again, even if he won’t have their late-night conversations, maybe at the very least he would still have their Minecraft sessions.
He knows some things will have to change. He is fully aware of it and also completely terrified. All it will take for everything to suddenly fall apart is one look, one touch, one sentence, George knows he won’t be able to hide his affection. He craved Clay so much. His smile, his touch, his presence. He was never a touchy person, he didn’t like others invading his personal space, but right now he felt like all he wants is to crawl into Dreams' arms and never leave, the need so strong it was difficult to push through it.
He knew Dream would be kind. He was always kind, even when he really shouldn't. Logically thinking there was no way Clay would simply abandon him, but at the same time, it was so hard to believe in it. He had thought the same thing before coming out to his family as well. Maybe he wasn’t that close with his parents, but there existed a connection that they broke without any hesitation. He wants to have trust in his friendship with Dream, but it was hard to push all insecurities aside. Especially since he didn’t feel like he was worth that much.
He didn’t have that much time before confronting his fears. Dream would be here, in England, in just a few short hours. They called each other every day discussing the arrangements, Clay insisting that he wants to stay in George’s house even though there was no guest bedroom. There is no way I’m leaving your side for even 5 minutes once I get there. George blushed at the memory. He wants to enjoy the time he had left with Clay as they are right now. He will take everything Dream is willing to give to him.
George sat at his kitchen table, English tea in his hands, staring out the window at the grey sky. The fall weather mirroring his emotions in the fast-changing wind and murky weather. He was scared, but also determined to make everything of this short moment he will have Dream right next to him. In just a bit he will have to leave to get to the airport, the dream from a few nights ago still hunting him. He wondered what Clay looked like. Will his smile be as warm and wide as he imagines? Will George feel small next to him? Will Dream's hands be so much bigger than his? Only one way to find out.
The way to the airport seemed to pass in the blink of an eye when one is so engrossed in his mind. George feels so nervous and so excited. Will he be enough? Will being with Dream be as easy in real life as it is through the screen?
Dream
6:17 PM: I just landed. See you in a second Georgie <3
His heart was beating so fast in George’s chest. Minutes, maybe seconds keeping him away from Dream. He was looking through the faces to find one that would match the description of dirty blond hair and green eyes, golden for George. Clay didn’t give him much to go off, he wouldn’t even say what he’ll be wearing to make this easier.
A hand grabbed his arm, spinning him around in a move familiar from nights ago, but also so different. Before George could even make a single sound he was enveloped by strong arms and pressed against a broad chest. Suddenly he felt so safe as if all his worries didn’t matter. Everything seemed to come to a calm stop, time slowing down, his thoughts finally quiet. Slowly, he returned the embrace, squeezing Dream around the waist. He would give up everything to stay like this forever. Nothing bad could possibly reach him here.
Not a single word was exchanged for a while, Dream slowly caressing his back in soft strokes, then moving one hand into George's hair raking his fingers through the strands making the older melt even more and sight softly in the other's neck. It was so perfect. Everything was perfect. They stayed like this for a long time, surely getting weird glances from people nearby, but not bothered by the slightest.
Finally, after what could be just a minute or a hundred years, Clay put a little distance between them, looking George right into his eyes and through them straight into his soul.
“Come Geroge, let’s go home.” It was so different to hear his name being spoken from right next to him in such a familiar voice. The audio from his headphones didn’t do it justice. Even more different was to see the lips that spoke it. Lips that looked so soft and inviting, curved in a slight smile, above them a dusting of freckles placed on high cheekbones and a straight nose. Most prominent, however, were the eyes. Eyes that looked like melted gold and honey, so different for George than for anyone else. Eyes, that looked at him as if they could see everything he was.
A small laugh caught George's attention. Dream’s lips now stretched in a wide smile, a small dimple on his left cheek.
“Am I up to your expectations?” Clay teased him slightly.
“Yes. ” The word out before George even had time to think it through. Dream’s smile softened once again.
“Let’s go”
The way back was so different from the way to the airport. Filled with smiles, glances, and small touches of a hand on hand. George felt almost drunk on those touches. It was already more than he could possibly wish for and he couldn’t imagine living without them again. With the way in which Clay's eyes softened each time he looked at him, George could almost trick himself into believing that his love was reciprocated. Was it even possible to feel this happy and still this terrified?
Once they entered the apartment George almost immediately found himself once more enveloped in a strong hold. Thank God Clay was so affectionate because this was all George wanted but was too afraid to voice.
“How are you, Georgie?” Clay asked not breaking their contact.
“I’m… I’m just so happy you’re here.” Nothing else mattered this second, in those arms.
“And I’m so happy to be here.” Silence enveloped them once again for a minute or two. Clay’s arms once again stroking his back making George relax even more and nuzzle slightly into Clay's neck. The thing that broke this peaceful moment was loud rumbling coming from Dream’s stomach, which made George giggle and then laugh.
“Pizza?” George asked, still laughing and taking a step back to look at Dream’s face.
“I would die for pizza.”
After placing a delivery order the atmosphere between the two changed to teasing and bickering but was not less affectionate than the hugs that shared earlier.
“You are even shorter in real life than what I imagined.” Clay teased him.
“I’m not short! I’m perfectly average height. It’s you who is just freakishly tall.”
“Sure, Georgie. Keep telling that to yourself.” George instead of responding punched Dream lightly in the shoulder. It was so easy to just be next to the younger man.
“Is this how you’re gonna play?” Dream asked, threat hidden in those words. Before George had time to run he was already pinned down to the couch with Dream ticking him mercilessly. George couldn’t even imagine letting anyone else do this to him, but somehow with Clay it was okay, it was comfortable to have his hands on his body and laugh freely while half trying to escape. Once all air escaped his lungs and he couldn’t even beg for Clay to stop he was finally given some room to catch a breath. He starred, face blushed, hair all messed up from wiggling on the couch and chest expanding and collapsing rapidly, straight into Dream’s eyes. He couldn’t help the grin enveloping his face. Dream was grinning back at him, his eyes sparkling.
After the pizza arrived they settled on watching a movie, George pressed against Dream’s side on the couch. Hours ticked by and soon enough both of them were yawning.
“Are you sure you are okay with sleeping on the couch?” George asked.
“I’m sure Georgie. I’m not going to throw you out of your own bed.” George still hesitated with just walking away to his own room.
“Just go sleep. Get your beauty sleep princess.” Clay teased and received one more shove to his shoulder in return before George walked away.
---
It was cold. George was sitting in a chair in front of a big monitor screen. He was watching Dream’s stream.
“That loser?” The question rumbled through the room.
“Please, how long did you expect me to pretend to be friends with him? The act was funny for a while, but come on, no one actually likes him.” George could see comment after comment agreeing with what Dream was saying.
“That guy can’t do anything on his own and is super loud and annoying. I only needed him at the start, for coding, but now that I have other people that can help me, why stick with him?”
A silence fell for a couple of seconds and then:
“George is just a burden.”
---
George opened his eyes, his face sticky with tears. A feeling he's lately become well accustomed to. He didn’t feel like going back to sleep, but it was still dark outside. A quick glance at his phone revealed that it was just after 2 AM. Way too early to get up, but he didn’t feel like staying in bed either. After going back and forth he finally stood up, throwing a blanket around his shoulders, and walked to the living room.
Clay was asleep, looking peaceful, but also crumpled on the way too small for sleeping, couch. Careful to stay quiet, George sat down a meter away from Dream wrapping himself in the blanket a little bit tighter. The younger man looked so calm, his face relaxed, breaths deep and regular. Some of his hair was stuck to his forehead, long enough to reach his eyes. Before George even knew what he was doing his hand was already brushing the strands away. He froze when Clay nuzzled into his palm. For a second he thought he was safe, but then the eyelashes fluttered and the golden eyes met his.
“George?” Dream asked, still not completely conscious, but then he rapidly sat up.
“Have you been crying?” George didn’t answer, but he didn’t have to, everything clearly written on his face.
“Oh, honey. Come here.” Not even a second later George found himself being sat down on Dream’s laps, his face embraced in a delicate hold as Clay tried to erase the wet traces left after earlier tears.
“Sweetie, can you tell me what’s been bothering you for the past two weeks?” The question was soft, undemanding.
“I… I’m not sure how. “
“It’s okay. We can start small. How do you feel?” How did George feel?
“Scarred… and hurt.” He received a kiss on his forehead for the answer.
“What are you scared of?” Dream's fingers kept stroking his face, making it impossible to look away, to hide.
“I’m scared that everyone will leave me. That you will leave me.” He felt guilty voicing that. As if he didn’t trust the other. Dream’s fingers froze for a second.
“Nothing in this world could ever take me away from you.” Another kiss, this time on his temple. George knew that deep down, but hearing it voiced like that made his heart flutter.
“Why do you feel like everyone will leave you?” Answering this question was harder, George had to take a second to squeeze the response out of his throat.
“Because… because my parents left me. They said I’m not their son anymore.” Dream’s hands left his face to wrap around George’s frame and pull him tight against his chest.
“I’m so sorry sweetheart. I can’t understand why anyone would ever give you up. You are so sweet, so kind, funny, adorable. You’re perfect, honey.”
“But what if I’m not? What if there is something I haven’t told you yet?” George muffled into the other shoulder, starting to tremble slightly.
“Georgie. Whatever it is, it won’t make me love you any less.” Those words again, but they sounded so different right now. Shared in privacy, with them embracing each other, spoken in such a soft tone. They made George brave.
“I… I’m not straight Clay. I like men.”
“And that’s completely fine. More than fine, actually.” There was no hesitating before the response. Clay’s arms didn’t tense around George’s body. There was nothing but honesty in his voice. George felt himself relax, exhausted after the declaration and finally being able to feel sleepiness creep on his calmed mind. A strong yawn shook his whole frame.
“Let’s get you to bed princess.” Before George could get off Dream's lap the other changed his hold around him and quickly stood up. Ignoring the half protests from George he carried him to his room princess style and laid him carefully on the mattress. He gave the older another kiss on the forehead before pulling away.
“Will you stay?” George shocked himself with this question. He didn’t mean to, well, he did desperately want Clay to stay, but he didn’t mean to say it out loud. Dream only smiled and lay down next to him, opening his arms to make space for George to scoot into. If George could have only this for the rest of his life it would be enough.
---
The first thing that came into Geroge’s mind after his consciousness started slowly trickling back into reality was that he was incredibly warm. He was laying on a hard, but really comfortable pillow that was moving up and down in even intervals. Something was stroking his hair near the nape area, slightly to the left, making him tilt his head and sight deeply. A small chuckle was what caught his attention enough to finally register what position he was in.
He was half laying on Dream with both of his fists gripping the other's shirt. One of Clay’s arms was wrapped around his waist while the other tousled his hair. Based on how light it was in the room it was probably already around noon. He didn’t want to give away the fact that he was awake, wishing to stay like this for just a little longer, but his breathing already betrayed him.
“Good morning princess.” Clay’s voice still raspy after the night.
“Morning. ” George mumbled, lifting his face from Dream’s chest.
“We should eat something. Is there something specific that you would like?”
“Umn… not really.”
“Okay. Let me see what’s in your kitchen.” Clay slowly stood up, moving away from George. Were it up to the older man he would rather continue cuddling, but it was already too late, the other out of the room. George could hear the noise of opening and closing cabinets and shuffling some stuff around.
“Are pancakes good?”
“Yeah!”
---
American style pancakes were different from what George would usually have but no less good. The atmosphere around them was so… domestic. Both of them sitting near the kitchen aisle and sharing a late breakfast. Every once in a while their knees or shoulders would touch and linger a bit. It was honestly kind of unfair. How was George supposed to live without those small touches once Dram goes back to America? Even worse, how was he supposed to extinguish the fire raging inside of him when Clay kept feeding him hope and adding fuel? It was so easy to almost believe that his feelings weren’t one-sided.
“Do you want to go somewhere today or would you rather stay home?” Clay asked him after they finished eating, taking the dishes to the sink to wash them.
“Can we stay in for today? I will take you sightseeing tomorrow.” Said George wanting just one more day in this bubble of it being just him and Dream.
“That’s fine, we could play some Minecraft, either with friends on the server or just you and me.”
“That would be nice,” George responded and Dream hummed softly, turning around from facing the sink to look back at him.
“Have you mentioned anything to Sapnap? About me coming to visit you?”
“I.. no, I didn't.” It’s not like he didn’t have the opportunity to tell him, because he definitely did as they talked like, every other day. It was just that… he wanted this to be all his. He didn’t want Sapnap calling them and taking moments away from them. It’s not that he didn’t appreciate the other, but it was complicated. His feelings were complicated.
“Do you want others to know? For our fans to know? It doesn’t have to be today, just generally.”
“I don’t mind, but maybe in a couple of days.”
“Yeah, that would be best.”
Playing Minecraft together brought back the playful energy between them. George has been laughing so hard for the last 20 minutes that he was almost light-headed. It was so nice to have the reassurance that nothing changed since he came out to Clay. Maybe confessing his feelings wouldn’t be so bad either. It would still suck to be rejected, but his trust in Dream kept growing with each minute and he was starting to trust Dream not to push him even an inch away. Even though the realization was fresh, the love wasn’t. He can’t even remember when his heart started beating faster each time he heard Clay’s voice since when each moment spent without the other was spent in anticipation.
They played for hours, only stopping to eat some late lunch they ordered from some restaurant around the corner. Every couple minutes Clay would reach out to mess his hair or touch his shoulder and the end of the session found them pressed against each other. It was so much and at the same time not nearly enough. George started to think that there didn’t exist a way to cease the need to be closer. He missed every touch even before it ended.
Once night had fallen George was exhausted from all the laughter. He really wanted to sleep, but he didn’t want to be away from Clay. It was probably too much to ask the other to stay with him for one more night, and maybe one more tomorrow, and one more after that… And so he found himself hesitating to go to bed. He took a shower, brushed his teeth, and went back to the living room looking for the other.
Clay was sitting on the couch, still in his day clothes, scrolling through his phone. He looked up from the screen and smiled at George.
“Let me get changed and we can go to sleep, okay?” George only nodded in response not sure what Clay meant but soon finding out 10 minutes later after Dream marched out of the bathroom.
“Come princess. Time for bed.”
And just like that George was once again laying on top of Dream enveloped in strong arms.
---
The next morning George once again woke up after Dream. This time it was earlier in the day and so they spent a couple of minutes just laying in bed, Clay’s hands stroking softly his back, George's head hidden in the crook of his neck. Breakfast was made together, the two of them moving around each other in the kitchen with ease. They would talk and exchange ‘accidental’ brushes while sitting in front of the kitchen aisle.
“Sapnap called me when we were still asleep. ” Clay mentioned eating the eggs.
“We should probably call him.” Responded George. A couple of days passed since he last talked to Sapnap.
“Do we want to break the news to him?”
“Hmn… I’m not sure. Maybe we should make him find this out together with everyone else?” George smiled at Dream with a blink in his eyes. Clay grinned right back.
“Och? And how do you want to go about it?”
“I’m honestly not sure.”
“How about a stream, tomorrow? I could stay out of frame”
“That’s good, but I’m not sure… After the last time, we would need some serious evidence that you’re here.” Clay only hummed and tapped his lips making George's eyes focus on them.
“What about a picture?” Dream asked.
“Sure.” Without waiting Clay threw one of his arms around him pulling him closer, the other hand reaching for his phone and taking the picture. It had both of them looking at the camera, George slightly flushed and with a small smile while Clay was grinning widely.
“Let me just crop it for Twitter. Do you want me to post it today or wait a few days?” Dream asked, still holding George close.
“You can do it now, we can’t keep Sapnap out for much longer. ” George responded and reached for his own phone laying on the aisle to be able to see the picture as soon as it was published. Clay cropped the photo so that it ended at his smile, George shorter enough to be entirely in the frame. The caption said: “Who knew England had such cuties?”
“You’re such an idiot. ” George said out loud in a playful way receiving a slight squeeze in return.
They didn’t have to wait long for Sapnap to call Dream again. Clay threw him a quick smile.
“Hello?” He said as if he didn’t know who the call was from making George giggle.
“What the fuck guys?!” Sapnap screamed from the device. They both burst with laughter while Sapnap was screaming profanities.
“Why wasn’t I invited to the party?”
“Sorry Sapnap, but it’s a date. We couldn’t invite you.” Responded Clay, making Geroge’s heart almost jump out of his chest.
“Och, I see. And how is it going? Did you guys already get to the fourth base?”
“Sapnap!” Screamed George outraged at the question.
“What? I wanna know.”
“A gentleman never kisses and tells.” Said Clay getting a harsh shove from George. He pouts his lips at Dream and get’s a loud kiss right next to his lips in return, deeming him speechless. Everything stops for a second while George is trying to process what just happened.
“Oh shit. Well, congratulations.” Comes from the speakers, George staring at Dream, his mouth slightly agape, the other looking at him with a questioning look on his face, searching for something. George just blushed even more and then hid his face in the other feeling Clay envelop him tighter, one hand tangling in his hair. What is going on? He was so confused.
Did the look mean what he thinks it means? It wasn’t even the first kiss he received from the other, but it was one thing to get a forehead kiss when he was sad and the other was trying to comfort him and completely another to get a kiss that’s so close to being a real one when they were teasing each other and talking to their friend. He wasn’t crazy to think that, right? His poor heart was almost exploding, filled with so many emotions he was trembling.
Clay continued to hold him while talking to Sapnap, at one moment even pulling him from the chair and onto his laps. He kept his hand on the back of George's head running his fingers back and forth through the strands. It felt so intimate. George knew something was going to happen as soon as the phone conversation ended and he wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. He didn’t think he could ever be ready.
But, inevitably, at last, silence fell. Clay, without saying anything, gently pulled on George’s hair making him withdraw slightly. Their eyes met in an electric connection. Clay was staring at him with a strong intention, moving his face closer. It was so nerve-wracking to close his eyes, but the price was so gratifying. The first kiss was short but still managed to completely take his breath away. During the second one, George's hands moved to envelop Clay's face and pull him in even closer. The third one lasted for minutes, making his head spin in circles and mind forget everything but Clay’s name.
When they separated from lack of oxygen Clay moved to kiss every part of his face. He moved his lips along George’s jawline then drawing to his cheekbones.
“Why are you crying, baby?” Clay whispered in a deep, slightly raspy tone. Weirdly enough George was crying, silent tears running down his face.
“I don’t… I’m not sure. I’m just so overwhelmed and… and so happy.” His voice trembled on the last part. Clay only hummed kissing the salty drops away and then going back to George’s lips kissing him with even more passion, even more vigor. Heads tilting and breaths mingling together they refused to part for even a millisecond. Hands wandering, exploring the other's frame, tangling in clothes and soft strands of hair.
It took a long time before they separated slightly, their breaths heavy and panting. They leaned on each other, their foreheads touching.
“Boyfriends?” Asked Clay.
“Yea.” And before he knew it they were back at kissing each other senseless.
---
“I’ve liked you for a long time now.” Explained Dream. They were sitting on the couch in the living room, George’s head resting on the other’s shoulder.
“Really?”
“Yea.”
“I think I did too, but I only realized recently. I was really scared that you would leave me if you were to find out.” Dream snorted at those words.
“Please, even if I wasn’t deeply in love with you, there is no way I’d leave you because of that.” George’s heart drummed in his chest at those words.
“I knew that, somewhat, but my brain kept on thinking up those worse case scenarios, and I just… I couldn’t get away from them. “ All those worries seemed silly now. Obviously, Clay would have stayed friends with him no matter what. Clay, who he talked to each day for hours, Clay, who trusted him enough to rely on him when he felt anxious, Clay, who would leave everything to go see George when he needed him.
“I feel so stupid now. I feel like you kept giving me clues and I was too engrossed in my own thoughts and worries to pick them up.” George said and watched as Clay brought their interlocked hands to his face to kiss each of George’s knuckles.
“I kind of was. I was worried too, you know? I wasn’t sure if you’d ever want this kind of relationship with me, but we were also really close. I was terrified when you suddenly stopped talking to me. I kept on going back to find if maybe I said something too much and made you back away from me. It’s kind of bad for me to admit it, but I was relieved when I realized you weren’t responding to anyone. It was very short-lived, though. I felt so selfish thinking about myself and my feelings when something horrible could have happened to you.“
“It’s okay, I was… still am really hurt by what my family did, but the second time you called when I cried on the phone… I had a dream that night. I dreamed that we met and you didn’t want to have anything to do with me. You said that I tricked you into friendship when all I wanted was to be with you. It was the first time I realized what I really feel for you, how to name it. “
George went back to the dreams with his thoughts, this time being able to simply analyze them without feeling like he might die.
“I had another dream, two nights ago, when I came to you. It was… even worse. You said that I was an annoyance, a burden, that you only put up with me for so long because I helped you with the coding.”
Clay immediately shuffled, turning to face George.
“Honey.” He said, tone and expression all serious.
“You are wonderful, you hear me? You are beautiful, funny, smart, adorable. Every day all I’m looking forward to are our conversations. You are so patient with me, you always know how to make me feel better or how to make me laugh. You know and understand me like no one ever did and accept every part of me. You are constantly in my head, leaving there, rent-free, occupying my every thought. I don’t want to spend a day without you by my side and if I could I wouldn’t let you leave my arms for the rest of infinity. You are amazing, George.”
There was not a single way for George to respond to that. What was he supposed to say? Thank you? I love you? The first one didn’t feel right and Geroge wasn’t ready to say the second one out loud just yet. He could hint at it, express it in other ways, but it was too hard to squeeze it down his throat, but perhaps in the future, maybe soon. He settled on kissing every freckle he could find on Clay’s features trying to convey his feelings in this way. He desperately hoped that Clay would understand the message, how much he truly meant to George. And maybe, based on the way Dream closed his eyes and squeezed his hand, he did understand.