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Blackbird

Summary:

You’ve been pining for your boss since the day you first met, but when a case in Alabama leads to you sharing a room, feelings are revealed…

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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You’ve been working in the BAU for two years, five days, one hour, and fifty-seven minutes. You’ve been in love with your boss for two years, five days, one hour, and thirty-seven minutes. You’ve tried to keep it secret, of course you have, especially since fraternising is frowned upon. Sure, there’s Penelope and Derek, but they flirt in a joking manner, the way best friends do. Unlike you, who becomes a flustered mess the moment Hotch looks at you.

Everyone in the office knows. they see the longing looks you give him, the way you seem to daze off the moment Hotch starts talking, the way you struggle to hold a conversation with him.

“What you doing there?”

You jump about ten feet in the air, startled by the sudden presence of Emily next to you. You cough, regaining your composure before shrugging.

“I-I don’t know what you mean,” you reply, fiddling with your pen and looking at the paperwork on your desk, tearing your eyes away from the office window. Hotch’s office.

“So we’re just going to pretend that no one notices the way you gawp at Hotch anytime you’re in a five-mile radius of him?” She teases, ruffling your hair. You swat at her, making her laugh, before fixing it. You go to retort, but are cut off by said boss walking out his office.

“My team, briefing room.”

You scramble up and to the table, taking your seats. Penelope starts the briefing, handing out the iPads and paper file as she gives a rundown of the case. Two teens have been murdered in Monroeville, Alabama. As the briefing continues, however, the others can’t help but notice the way their unit chief is acting. He’s staring off a little more than usual, stealing glances wherever he can. He isn’t properly listening to Penelope and instead distracted by something, or someone, around the table.

They look between each other and decide then and there they have to do something.

—•—

“Let’s call it a night. We aren’t going to progress if we’re sleep-deprived.”

The team have been looking over this case for the best part of eight hours now, and as the night draws in, it’s hard to miss the yawns and sleepy eyes shared in the conference room. There’s a mumble of agreement as Rossi goes to ask the sheriff what’s around in terms of motels and places to stay. There’s a small inn across town with some vacancies, but that’s it.

It’ll have to do.

“Hey, you okay?”

You snap out of your tired daze to look up at Hotch, who’s got a small smirk on his face as he holds out his hand, offering it to you. You take it and Aaron helps you up.

“Th-Thanks,” you mumble, quickly following the others outside in hopes it’ll cool your burning cheeks. You ride to the motel and go to the reception, booking rooms. That’s where things go a little wrong.

“We have three double rooms and one with a queen bed,” she tells Rossi, who nods in understanding, though a little annoyed, and takes the keys. He walks back over to the group.

“Four rooms. We’ve got to double up,” he explains, failing to mention the queen bed. Unsurprisingly, JJ and Emily latch onto each other, as do Penelope and Derek. They take their keys from Rossi and head up, waving a goodnight and a mumbled ‘see you tomorrow’. Dave turns to the youngest. “C'mon kid. We’ll share.”

Spencer looks at him, and seeing the knowing look on his face, nods. He hands the key to you.

“You’re with Hotch,” he murmurs with a smirk and your jaw drops.

“A-Are you sure? I mean, Spencer likes his things neat and-”

“Kid, it’s fine. Go on.” He pushes you a little towards Hotch, who’s staring off into space, thinking. Carefully, and with one last glare at the senior member, you tap his shoulder. He jumps, looking at you before relaxing again.

“I guess we’re sharing?” He asks, looking at the key. You sigh and nod. You two head to the room, and when you open the door, you notice one thing Dave forgot to mention.

There’s only one bed.

“Fuck’s sake,” you mutter, lifting your bag and dropping it to one side of the bed and looking at Aaron. “I don’t mind having the floor.”

Aaron smiles and shakes his head. “We’ll figure it out in a bit. You don’t mind if I have first shower, do you?” He asks. You quickly shake your head, gesturing to the door of the ensuite.

“Be my guest.”

Aaron leaves and you sit on the edge of the bed, thinking.

Did he do this deliberately? I bet he did. God fucking damn it, Dave. I bet all the other rooms have two beds. I know what he’s trying to push, but it won’t happen. Aaron’s way out of my league, and anyway, it’s fraternising. I’m not allowed. We’re not allowed. Strauss would kill us if she found out. Found out what? Nothing’s going on between me and-

“I’m done. There’s still some hot water left.”

You snap out of your thinking and turn to face Aaron, before immediately turning away again. He’s stood there…in a pair of shorts and nothing else. Don’t look. Don’t look. Dear God don’t look.

“Y/N? You alright?”

You nod and grabs your own pyjamas from your bag, trying your hardest to keep your back to Aaron without it looking too strange as you head to the bathroom. “Yeah. Just…been a long day.”

Aaron lets out a light laugh. “I guess, yeah.”

You have the fastest shower imaginable, not wanting to be seen as a hog by your boss, your crush, and quickly dry yourself off. You change and leave, looking between Aaron and the bed. “I can take the floor.”

Aaron shakes his head. “Nonsense. I’ll have it,” he argues.

“With your back? Aaron, trust me, I really don’t mind,” you counter. Aaron. You like the way it rolls of your tongue. No. Stop it.

“Why don’t we share? We’re coworkers. We can be professional,” Aaron suggests. He has to suppress a smirk. A chance to share a bed with you? He wouldn’t pass it up in a million years. You swallow and give a curt nod, walking over and turning the bedside light off. You take the right side, Aaron on the left.

It’s just for a few nights. You can do this.

—•—

“No. You’re dead.”

You groggily open your eyes, adjusting to the darkness of the room. “Hm?”

“No. It’s not you. Not again. No! Don’t touch him!”

Immediately, you’re awake, sitting up and looking around for the source of the voice. Your mind clears enough for you to focus a little better. It’s Aaron.

You lean over, turning the bedside lamp on and looking at your boss with a furrowed brow. He’s sweating, almost thrashing around, and mumbling.

“Aaron?” You ask, shaking him lightly. “Aaron? It’s alright, you’re okay. It’s a nightmare.” It doesn’t take a profiler to guess what the nightmare’s about—Foyet. He doesn’t talk about it much, unsurprisingly, but it didn’t occur to you that it’d still affect him. You shake him a little harder. “Aaron, it’s Y/N. You’re alright. Just open your eyes. You’re safe.”

The unit chief shoots up with a start, breathing quickly and heavily, as though fighting. You place a hand on his shoulder, saying quiet affirmations to him, pulling Aaron back down.

“You’re okay. You’re safe. Foyet’s dead, Jack is fine. He’s with your sister. Everything’s okay.”

Aaron doesn’t like people seeing him like this; struggling with nightmares and trauma. The only person who did was…Haley. His wife. Now, he’s next to someone else, who’s comforting him just as well. It fills him with a warmth he wasn’t expecting.

“Sorry,” he mutters, finally finding the strength to look you in the eyes. You give a small smile and shake your head.

“You don’t have to apologise. Even the best of us get nightmares. Nothing to be ashamed of,” you reassure. “Do you want to talk about it?”

No. Aaron doesn’t want to, but when he looks into your eyes, it’s like the anxiety and fear melt away. You’re the light at the end of the tunnel. He lets out a small sigh.

“It was…Foyet,” he cringes at the voice crack. “He had Jack, and…and…” He doesn’t know how to phrase the next part. You nod, rubbing his shoulder and moving to his back.

“It’s okay. Don’t rush it,” you comfort. Hotch nods and takes a breath. Now or never.

“He had you. He was going to kill you, and Jack. I was…scared. The truth is,” he takes another breath, “I haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you since you started working here. It’s a strange thing, love. It can make you feel so many things and I guess falling head over heels for someone can be good and bad.”

There’s a silence as you take this in. He likes me back? Holy shit. Now it’s your turn.

“I’ve worked at the BAU for two years, five days, ten hours, and forty-three minutes. I’ve been in love with my boss for two years, five days, ten hours, and twenty-three minutes,” you confess. “I never told you, especially after we had that fraternising seminar. I thought I was being subtle, but it turns out the whole team knew. I guess that’s what I get for working with profilers.” You two share a slight laugh, quiet, but sonorous.

“Hang on, why did it take you twenty minutes to fall in love?” Aaron asks with a smirk. You smile.

“My first twenty minutes was with Strauss getting a tour of the place,” you remind him, making Aaron nod his head. It’s only now he notices how close you’ve got to each other. He’s practically in your lap, you with an arm around his shoulders and holding him close. He smiles and looks up at you, slowly leaning in.

The kiss is tender, but nonetheless full of love and years of bottled up emotion. You smile, running a hand through Aaron’s hair and kissing his temple.

“Do you think you can go back to sleep?” You ask. Aaron shrugs and you lie back down, now a tangled mess of limbs.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I could, sometimes I couldn’t,” he admits. “You should, though. We have to meet early with the sheriff tomorrow.”

You smile, feeling Aaron’s arms snake around your waist before an idea pops into your head.

“Y'know, my mum always used to sing to me when I couldn’t sleep,” you muse. Aaron looks up, cocking an eyebrow. He doesn’t say a word, though, instead choosing to nuzzle into your shoulder, finding comfort in your scent.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise,” you sing softly and Aaron can’t help the look of pure glee as his mind clears. There’s no fear, no worry, no anxiety. Nothing.

Just peace.

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night. Take these sunken eyes and learn to see. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free.”

Notes:

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