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Billy threw his head back as he laughed at the story you told about being ambushed with water balloons by Lisa and Frank Jr., “That’s hilarious!” Frank and Maria laughed along with him.
“Inconvenient, but yeah, I suppose.” You downed your last bit of wine and stood up, “I’m refilling. Anyone else?”
Frank and Billy shook his head, but Maria stood up, “I’ll come with.” You both walked back to the kitchen leaving Billy and Frank alone.
When you poured more wine into your glass, Maria just stared at you. You narrowed your eyes at her, “What?”
“Are you gonna tell him soon?”
You groaned, “Maria, not this again. Please?”
“Yes, again. You and Billy are perfect for each other. You just fit! Tell him how you feel!”
“Ugh! I would but it’s just-it’s just-”
“It’s just what, Y/N? You love Billy.” She looked at you curiously.
You sighed, “When he smiles, I just get this weird feeling in my stomach.”
“Like butterflies?” Maria asks with a grin.
You shook your head, “No…like…pure fear?”
“Why’s that?”
“Billy’s…he’s not a love and commitment kinda guy. You know. I know this. Frank knows this. It won’t work out even if he does have feelings for me. I’ll just end up with my heartbroken…”
While you and Maria went to the kitchen, Frank stared at Billy, “You’re an idiot, you know that?”
“What I do?”
“You’re wasting time.”
“What are you talking about?”
Frank leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, “You and Y/N. You two have something. Why don’t go forward with it?”
Billy grunted as he stood up, “Aaaand I’m going to get another beer.”
He neared the kitchen when he heard Maria said, “It’s just what, Y/N? You love Billy.” Hearing those words, his breath hitched.
Billy heard you sigh, “When he smiles, I just get this weird feeling in my stomach.” when he heard this, he couldn’t help but smile.
“Like butterflies?” Maria asks.
“No…like…pure fear?” Billy’s brows furrowed in confusion.
He heard Maria speak again, “Why’s that?”
“Billy’s…he’s not a love and commitment kinda guy. You know. I know this. Frank knows this. It won’t work out even if he does have feelings for me. I’ll just end up with my heartbroken…"
He didn’t know how to feel about that. You, the one person he’s always loved, thinks that he’s incapable of love and commitment. But then again, can he really blame you? For as long as you’ve known him, you’ve only seen him as a one and done kinda guy. Or a friends with benefits kind of guy. He’s never actually had a full fledged relationship.
Why? Because of you.
When Billy realized he had fallen in love with you, he knew he couldn’t put that on you. He was deep in some dangerous, messed up shit. He couldn’t put you through that. But he was selfish. So having you as a friend, he believed, was just as good as having you as his girlfriend, his lover.
But you loved him. You said it yourself. So maybe now it was time to cut the shit. Make you his and show you that he could love you, adore you, and be with you for as long as you want him.
You were a tad clingy when you were drunk. So when Billy dropped you off at your apartment, he stayed. Because 1) you begged him to, and 2) he wanted to stay. He needed to make sure you don’t hurt yourself somehow.
When you woke up, you heard music coming from the kitchen and something sizzling on the pan. Billy was still here. You slid out of bed, happy you didn’t have a bad headache, and walked to the kitchen.
He stood at the stove and was cooking, what smelled like, bacon. You went over to him and hugged him from behind, “Thanks for staying and making breakfast.”
He pat your hands that were laced over his bare chest, “Of course. Anything for my girl.”
You giggled as you plucked a piece of bacon off a plate and sat upon the counter, “Your girl, huh?”
You watched as Billy gulped, then set the spatula aside, “That’s actually something I wanna talk to you about.”
“What exactly?”
“I overheard your conversation with Maria last night. In the kitchen.”
“O-Oh. Um..”
“I really wish you knew that I would never hurt you, Y/N. If I were to break the heart of the love of my life, I’d probably catapult myself off this apartment building.”
“L-Love of your life? Billy-”
“I know I never portrayed it, but I think I could commitment myself to you, to love you. Actually, I don’t think. I know I could. Because you’re everything to me.” Billy stepped closer to you, resting his hands on your hips, “You make me laugh. Your smile brightens my day. You make me feel loved. You’re my family. I’m sorry I never showed this side of me to you. I was just..I was an idiot.”
“I don’t understand. You always said love wasn’t for you.”
“I said that because I couldn’t have the one that I loved. You’re too perfect and pure and good and I’m…I’m messed up.”
“You’re not.”
“I am.”
You held Billy’s face in between your hands, “You’re not. You’ve had bad things happen to you, but that doesn’t make you messed up. Do you think I could fall in love with a messed up person? If so, then I guess I’m messed up too. I’m messed up for you, Billy Russo.”
His face was so close to yours. He kept glancing to your lips and eyes, “I really wanna kiss you right now,” he whispered.
Without hesitation, you pressed your lips to Billy’s. The kiss brought on sparks and butterflies and stars and it felt amazing.
Billy pulled back for air, a smile donning his face, “I’m messed up for you too, Y/N L/N.”
You giggled, “Good. Now get back to cookin’ good lookin’. My bacon’s burnin’!”