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Tsuskishima Kei, with his tall slender build and secluded heart, wore his typical unamused expression like a worn out pair of sneakers. Tirelessly, I attempted to make him smile, no one was that cold
and yet traversing Tsuksishima's land held endless blizzards, forever trapped under a winter spell. Still, I hopelessly pictured just how beautiful that one ray of sunlight would look breaking through thick gray clouds, melting the snow in it's wake. He swore he was impenetrable even when tasking himself with the chore of walking me home from our practice at a nearby park. An act so human that if the others saw, let alone knew of our secret little rendezvous, would be furious or so I thought. The reality of the situation was that I was afraid of them discovering I had grown fond of my rival. What first started as harmless teasing and pushing him to aim higher, unraveled into an unexpected attachment to the snarky blonde with his signature black glasses and laid back attitude, always pretending he didn't care even as he, waved me off from the steps of the home I grew up in.
"Well, I'll see you around."
He buried his hands into his pockets prepared to turn and leave until one simple action pulled us from our usual routine and into uncharted waters. My heart raced for allowing the words I had been meticulously reexamining, continuously, in the hidden depths of my brain knowing they held much more meaning than I had let on.
"Wanna come in?"
The offer may have threatened the sky high walls he had built up, seeing as we strictly spoke of volleyball, we had never crossed the imaginary line which separated work from play. Never in my wildest dreams had I expected him to accept my invitation without a hint of remorse, just a calm, "Sure, why not?" He was oblivious to my desires to steal him away for even a moment longer, satisfying the beast which fed upon my own humiliation, asking me to go one step further, one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break. This isn't the time for a Linkin Park song.
I hadn't even mentally prepared for him to walk into my home so comfortably, taking in the blandness of it all, the beige walls, the empty fireplace, not a family photo in sight, no touch of home, simply a house. "Not what I expected.." he muttered more to himself, almost forgetting that I was at his side, suddenly feeling insecure by the strong uninviting vibes emanating from every square inch of the dull place, once touched with life before her parting, taking a greater toll on my father.
"It's just me and my dad. We could use a woman's hand at decorating around here." I scratched at the back of my head nervously, hoping he wouldn't press further on the matter of my absent mother. Though, the slight stiffening of his body provided evidence that he had overstepped, now reverting the conversation onto anything else.
"We keep a Christmas tree up year round at my house.. it has a bunch of dinosaur ornaments. As a kid, I fought for my parents to never take it down." And for once I could see a gleam of light in those hazel eyes of his which simply muddled into my gaze, beautifully. With every second within my own domain, he branched out, sprouting roots both of us basking in the awkwardness of the sudden silence budging between small conversations on my living room couch, he now had a glass of water in his hand, the delicate haze from the iced beverage was ravaged by picturesque droplets streaming down, and the motion of his slender fingers clasped around the cup. He rested a leg over his knee, as spoke about his brother's betrayal, convincing him that he was apart of the volleyball team, only to later be exposed as a liar, since then, his trust in him had dwindled. Tsuksihima was definitely atoning for his crime in such a way that could only push me to open up alongside him.