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There was an eerie glow cast upon the courtyard, a shadow steadily moving across the cobblestone. A kind, soft voice floated up to rooftops, Calling to Achilles. He paid it no mind, even as the shadow drew closer. His name, whispered on the wind, this time caressing his ears as a melody.
“Achilles,” it sounded desperate this time. His weary soul could not be persuaded to care.
“Won’t you come down?” The shadow’s pleas turned angry, as they continued.
“Won’t you Get Up-“ they cut themselves off, perhaps realizing their tone. Perhaps realizing he wasn’t listening. The air turned back to silence, and Achilles still gazed at the stars, not seeing them.
Hours seemed as minutes, or minutes seemed as hours, as the shadow finally reached its destination. The gentle words, accompanied by an affectionate touch on the cheek, Saying “Please, Get up off the roof.”
When Achilles made no move still, the shadow continued; “You’re scaring us, and all of us... Well Some of us love you. I know it’s not much, but please, it’s proof.” The man’s soft words weaved themselves into Achilles mind, and he savoured them in the quiet.
There was stillness in the air, the universe holding its breath. His eyes made no movement from where they were trapped in sky, his voice a feeble whisper. “Patroclus, I’m tired. I’m weary to my bones, it’s not worth it no matter what I do.”
Patroclus didn’t hesitate to remind Achilles of what he deemed to be true. “You crazy assed cosmonaut, remember your virtue! Redemption lies so plainly in the truth.” Achilles eyes flicked to Patroclus’ at this, and a sad smile took over his mouth as he turned to gaze at the stars once again.
“I know that’s what you think, for I was once those things, but now, there’s nothing left for the cause,” Achilles trembling voice raised to the sky.
“The self is not so weightless, it’s not whole nor unbroken, it would do well to Remember the pact of our youth.” Patroclus looked at Achilles and said with certainty, “Where you go I’m going, So jump and I’m jumping, Since there, is no me without you.”
Patroclus could see Achilles emotions finally spilling over, his cheeks wet as he replied, “The pact was reckless, a hope unfounded, and the men, I’ve seen them all through. For after our battle, our struggles and hardships, the tiniest of graces is all that they offer.” He gasped for breath as the anger and shame took over. He continued, falling apart a little more with every word that left his mouth; “And as for you, my sweet Patroclus, how you expect me to agree with what you want to do? It’s dangerous and selfish, chaos confusion, and your act is all but a ruse. You’ll throw yourself into the unknown, with a pace and a fury defiant. Yet my dreams all end with you dying.”
The final declaration caused the universe to tremble, with Achilles spitting at the sky about the impieties they were shown, and his fears now unveiled, Patroclus could do nothing but embrace him.
The stars cried above their heads, leaving streaks of light across the sky. This is how they remained for a time, in their own self indulgence, feelings the sorrow deep in their bones. Eventually, with his ear still resting on his chest, Achilles heard the rumble of disgust in Patroclus’ voice as he expressed his thoughts.
“Loathe the way that they set the candles in Rome, They are worthless and disgraceful....” he paused, his chin quivering ever so; yet his gaze full of longing stared out at the almost touchable galaxy as he continued. “But... love the sweet air of the votives. Hurt, and grieve, but please don’t suffer alone, think about the possibilities if you engage with the pain as a motive.”
He took Achilles face in his hands, and before Achilles could fall apart completely, asked him, “Today, of all days... please see that the most dangerous thing is to love. However, you will heal and then rise above.”
Everything in him trembled when he answered, “How can I heal, when without you I’m numb. Why... why do you have to be the one?”