Chapter Text
Lucy: So what would you like to order?
Ranpo: Oh! Can I get a milkshake with two straws please?
Poe: Aw, that’s so sw-
Ranpo: Watch how fast I can drink this
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Yosano: Hey Tachihara?
Tachihara (sighing): Gin used to call me that name...
Yosano: Yeah because it’s your fucking name
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Akutagawa: I’d date you
Atsushi: huh?
Akutagawa: I SAID I HATE YOU
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Tachihara: *presenting a picture of Gin* Have you seen my girlfriend?
Random Yokohama citizen: No? Is she missing?
Tachihara: Oh no she’s fine, she’s at home right now but I just want people to look at her. Isn’t she beautiful?
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Chuuya: You’re an idiot
Dazai: But I’m your idiot
*Pointing at wedding ring*
Dazai: FOREVERRRRRR
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Kunikida: Are you saying you killed Dazai?
Chuuya: Gravity killed Dazai, I just gave him a little push
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Fukuzawa: What are you doing?
Ranpo (standing on a desk): I work here you know I can stand wherever I want thank you very much.
Fukuzawa: Where’s the spider?
Ranpo: It’s over there can you get it for me please?
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Dazai: Someone guess what number I’m thinking of
Kunikida: 420?
Dazai: No Kunikida, that’s really immature of you. Someone else guess and please take this seriously.
Kenji: 69?
Dazai: Yeah it was 69
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Mori: What brought you to the Port Mafia?
Dazai: I threw a dart at a map and it landed in a trash can.
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Lucy: Every talk I have with you people gets more and more absurd!
Yosano: You say “you people” as if you’re not part of the family. Well I got news for you buddy, you’re already on the Christmas card.
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Kunikida: Dazai we tried things your way
Dazai: No we haven’t
Kunikida: We did in our heads and it didn’t work.