Work Text:
Am I really over you,
Or did I just get good at pretending?
Huaisang smiled to himself. Over. Final answer!
It is not to say he didn't get hurt. Damn, no matter how much he questioned himself he couldn't deny the fact that he cried over the boy who made him pin butterflies in his stomach for years. He could vividly remember how he bawled himself to sleep the day he found out Wanyin have started dating Xichen. As embarrassing as it is to admit, he really did hurt a lot for the boy. But he couldn't blame Wanyin for that pain. Not entirely.
Their relationship was clear-- it is now. Before, it was a blur. They were very close (well, that's because he was best friends with Wanyin's brother, Wei Wuxian). They'd talk about a lot of things as if there's no tomorrow, they're too comfortable with each other that they would even joke about taking their "relationship'' to the next level. Yet neither took the joke seriously... or at least not Wanyin. For whatever reason, Huaisang believed it will eventually happen with a just few more push here and there. How he got to that conclusion is a mystery. Maybe that's how crushes fool our brains no matter how smart we are?
No one expected Xichen. He didn't see it coming. Not Wuxian. Not even Xichen's brother, Wangji (Wuxian's boyfriend). Everyone expected it to be him who could snatch the passive-too-aggressive Jiang Wanyin. But everyone was fooled.
"Now that makes sense," were the only words that came out of Wangji when they all found out.
Now that make sense?
It didn't at first but Huaisang later came to accept that no matter how good friends they are there will still be things that Wanyin would be keeping to himself until he's ready to show it off to others. Unfortunately, somethings included him having eyes on Lan Xichen.
Wuxian felt sorry for him. Others pitied him and Huaisang felt shitty about it. Pitty is the least he wanted for people to feel for him. Huaisang knows himself better. He had too many heartbreaks in his lifetime and that one would soon pass.
It did. Quiet too fast if you ask him.
He loves himself more than he loves pinning butterflies in his stomach. He has goals better than begging for someone's special attention. He has plans for himself other than dwelling on a heartbreak that didn't seem rational for him because really, there were no Why's to be answered.
Did he want Wanyin other than to be his friend? At some point. But for the most part, he didn't. He liked the thrill of flirting with Wanyin but he didn't dare to do something about it because there was no reason for him to.
He got hurt, but the bitter days have passed easily, and in less than 72 hours of awkward hi's and hello's they're now back to normal (less the flirting). They're friends and it will never change.
Crushing was good while it lasted and couldn't be taken any farther.