Chapter Text
“Uhm, no thanks. I like to study alone.” That’s the truth. “I can’t really focus around others.” But what the hell was that? He can focus around others- In fact he’s so good at it that others have to quite literally shake him out of his focus. He knows he wouldn’t get distracted, but a little lie doesn’t hurt sometimes. Right?
“Oh..” Xianglings grin falls into a frown and Chongyun feels sick. “That’s okay, Chongyun! Maybe next time yeah?” She fixes the grin onto her face again but Chongyun feels his anxiety spike up. Xiangling was the first person willing to talk to him today despite his blunt responses, and now he screwed it up.
He tries to convince himself that that’s what he wants but he can’t ignore the sick feeling in his stomach telling him he’s wrong, he could use a friend, he needs a friend. But he ruined his chance.
When Chongyun snaps out of it, Xiangling is gone and the feeling in his stomach gets worse. Oh well. It’s not as if he isn’t used to it.
---
Chongyun walks into class with his notebooks gripped close to his chest, making a beeline for the closest vacant chair he can find near the back of the classroom.
A quick glance tells him that Xiangling is here, he could see her from where he sat. His anxiety calms slightly at the realisation that he knows someone here, but spikes again at the thought of approaching her after yesterday's incident. It was everyone's first day yet the bubbly girl had managed to form a small study group, which immediately set off alarms in Chongyuns head. Willingly sitting around a group of people and being expected to chat for hours? Not his thing.
The loud scrape of a chair jolts him back into the present, and he’s met with the sight of a face uncomfortably close to his own. Chongyun flinches with a sharp inhale, staring at the student with wide eyes. Not daring to speak first, Chongyun is silent until they lean back.
The student jabs Chongyuns arm lightly with a pen.
“He’s asking your name, dude.” With a flick of their wrist the pen points in the direction of the top of the class and he gulps once he makes eye contact with the professor that seemed to have entered the room and started class while he was blissfully unaware.
“Thank you, Bennett” They give a curt nod to the boy beside him- Bennett, before turning their attention back on him. They give him some kind of expectant glance and he shivers. “My names Chongyun.” He stuffs his shaking hands under his desk to sit on his lap and pointedly ignores the curious glances Bennett gives him for the rest of the lesson.
---
“Hey Chongyun! Wait up!”
Chongyun grips his books tighter, hesitantly turning to see Xiangling jogging down the hallway towards him. What..?
“Hey..? Did you-” His voice cracks and he feels his face burn up like a furnace from embarrassment. He clears his throat and tries again, “Did you need something?”
Xiangling is panting by the time she catches up to him and leans her hands against her knees for a moment to catch her breath. Chongyun shifts from foot to foot, staring at the way his finger taps against his notebook while he waited for her to speak.
“You practically ran out of class” Xiangling puffs, startling Chongyun. He attempts to cover it up with a nervous chuckle. “Ah, yeah.. Sorry.”
Xianglings head tilts to the side, kind of like a puppy, his mind helplessly provides.
“What’re you sorry for? You didn’t know I was going to want to talk to you. And speaking of that.. I was wondering if you wanted to sit with me at lunch later?” He doesn’t expect the way Xiangling nervously glances around as she asks, a little sheepishly. He pretends he doesn’t feel discomfort at the thought of Xiangling being shy due to romantic feelings. He wasn’t stupid. Or maybe he was, seeing as he thought it in the first place. He figures she’s embarrassed about the rejection from yesterday and is hesitant to ask him something again as a result. Nice one, Chongyun.
Stupidly, Chongyun lets his curiosity get the better of him. “Don’t you hang out with the people in your study group?”
Xiangling lets out a hum. “I hung out with them yesterday, yeah, but you weren’t there at lunch and I know you couldn’t come to the study group but i wanted to ask anyways? The food is actually surprisingly good in the cafeteria..” She rubs the back of her head with a small grin.
Chongyun thinks it over, desperately pushing the negative thoughts away in favour of actually considering it for once. He knows something awkward will happen, and the thought gives him a sense of dread, but this was Xiangling. He didn’t know her all too well but she was upfront, and despite her loud personality she seemed to understand others quite well if the acceptance to his shitty excuse yesterday said anything.
So, with a forced smile in attempt to encourage himself, he found himself agreeing.
“Sure.”
---
“Woah, you did the homework already? I haven’t even thought of beginning it- this is pages long! How did you do this in an hour?” Xiangling flicks through his notebook vigorously, gaping at the long thought out answers. Chongyun cracks his knuckles distractedly as he watches her read the answers in great detail.
Xiangling sighs. “I need your brain. I couldn’t do this if I tried.”
“I just like writing.” He shrugs, eyeing the students entering the area. He pointedly ignores the empty chairs on him and Xianglings right, hoping that if he doesn’t acknowledge them then nothing will happen.
The screech of a chair being pulled next to him denies that possibility and startles Chongyun into cracking his knuckle hard enough for it to hurt.
“Hey dude! I could spot your icy hair from a mile away.” Bennett laughs as he takes the seat next to Chongyun. Chongyun wills himself not to squirm away. “Oh, who’s this?”
Chongyun wonders why Bennett was acting as if they were best buddies despite having only had a one-sided conversation with him in class earlier, but concludes that Bennett must just be another bright personality like Xiangling.
“Xiangling! Nice to meet you.” She sticks out a hand across the table and Bennett shakes it happily. “I’m Bennett” He gives an exaggerated thumbs up once they finish the handshake and Xiangling smiles.
“You know Chongyun too?” Xiangling starts up a conversation, and though he hates that he happens to be the topic of it he doesn’t intervene. He couldn’t even if he tried.
“Yeah! We were in a class together earlier.. Actually, you were there too! I recognise your hair” Bennett points at her hair and his finger wags around in loops like the way her hair was styled at the back. Xiangling brightens at the comment, leaning forward. “Really? Wait- you like it, right? I spend twenty minutes on this every morning.. A pain in the ass, but beauty is pain.” She scowls lightly and Chongyun watches the two chat with mild amusement.
He hasn’t eaten much, the nearly untouched slices of toast and sausages on his tray remind him, but he can’t find the will to do so. Eating in public became another fear of his a few years back so he usually hid in his room, or used the Sorry mom, have to study! excuse when his parents would try to drag him out for dinner at some fancy restaurant. Realistically, he knows nobody pays enough attention to him to care about what he’s eating, but with each bite comes a spike of anxiety telling him to stop, so eventually he did.
His stomach suddenly rumbles loudly enough for the pair beside him to halt their conversation with a look of surprise, as if they’d forgotten Chongyun was there. He wanted that.
“Stomachache..” Chongyun sports a fake look of pain that appears to do the job as they don’t question him when he all but bolts out of the cafeteria.