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Natsu knelt in the snow, holding down a shiver that tried to shake his small body. The moon hung too high above him in the inky sky, uncaring in how its cold light shone like a spotlight on him as it guided biting winter winds and the frost to attack him. His knees dug deeper in the ground, trying to focus his thoughts, to keep them from wandering. To keep the cold from scattering them like it scattered flurries of flakes in his face with each heaving gust. His fingers long had gone numb, unable to feel them as they ran shakily over the gooseflesh on his arms. The scarf wound tight around his neck did nothing to aid in his plight.
What he wouldn't give for the warmth of rigid scales, scratchy like bark as they dug into his back when he rested.
Natsu shook his head furiously to banish the thought but the cold seemed even harsher now as the memories of searing warmth and soothing smoke crawled to the front of his mind. He stood suddenly, his young bones creaking much too loudly at the action, eyes darting about the unbroken line of trees. His gaze locked onto a familiar rise above the treetops, piercing yellow eyes staring back at him pensievely with wings like sails unfurled slightly by his sides. The red of his scales painted black by the night.
Natsu hurriedly blinked away the flakes gathered on his lashes, the beginnings of another shiver threatened to travel up his spine. He bit down on the insides of his cheeks, knowing full well what chastising words laced with disappointment awaited him when he took off into the brush. The same words as yesterday, and the day before that. And the many before that. Natsu decided it was better to hear them again that lose to the cold.
Igneel huffed as Natsu came to a stop before him, straightening with his wings folding to his back with a leathery snap. He fixed the young boy with a stern look, unmoving as he hurried to hide beneath his wing to press tiny hands against his hardened skin to sap warmth. He remained silent as the minutes ticked by, the snow piling higher by his clawed feet, unbothered by its presence save for when it started to gather on his snout. With a slight shake of his head it fell to the ground.
"You're mad at me again. Aren't you?" The voice was small, muffled from under his wing and he felt Natsu shy away, scurrying into the smallest corner of Igneel's wing to hide from the scathing words he thought were coming his way. Igneel sighed, his breath swirling heavily in the air. He unfurled his wings slightly once more, enough to see Natsu's back facing him but still closed enough to keep the snowfall from the child.
"I could never be mad at you. Only disappointed at worst." Igneel voice rumbled loud even as he spoke softly, the trees shivered at his words. Natsu flinched, curling in on himself. "That's just soft mad." He said glumly. Igneel couldn't help the light chuckle at his son's logic.
"You are too dependent on my flames when your own needs tending to." Igneel lowered himself to the forest floor, curling his head towards Natsu as he rested it on his forelegs. A mischievous glint in his eye aimed at Natsu's back. "Perhaps I should hide away deeper in the woods, behind the tallest tree. Maybe without me here your inner fire will blossom."
His joke did not have the desired effect he wanted. The small child wheeled around, horror painting his features and his fists clenched tightly, trembling from something other than the cold.
" No !" He shouted. "No no no! Don't do that! I'll try harder I promise! Just don't…" His voice trailed off. He pulled his scarf over his face and tucked himself away once more. "...don't leave me alone..."
Igneel blinked at the unexpected outburst. Silently he chastised himself, tail sweeping guiltily from side to side. He should've known better. Atlas always bemoaned his jokes, said they were in too poor a flavour. Igneel would roll his eyes then. Maybe his old friend was right.
"Natsu." He called softly, nudging the boy with his wingtip. "Natsu, come here. Please." He didn't move and Igneel tried again, praying his words hadn't dug too deep a wound.
Slowly Natsu turned, scarf still pulled over his face, and trudged out from under Igneel's wing. He stopped when he felt the dragon's warm breath on his skin and plopped down heavily on the ground near Igneel's face.
"You shouldn't make jokes like that." Natsu sniffled, voice muffled by the scaly cloth and Igneel winced at the realization that he made him cry. " I'm sorry my son. Truly I am. I should never have said those words to you."
"Yeah you shouldn't have." The retort was well deserved. Though there was an odd hitch to Natsu's words, as though he wanted to say something more. " It's just that…" He shuffled where he sat, curling in on himself as he held the scarf tighter to his face. " All of this is so hard to do. Everything would be way easier if i'd have just hatched out of an egg like you."
"I can't eat fire without it burning the corners of my mouth. And when I try to breath it, it hurts my tongue. My flames don't always come when I call for them and I can't keep warm in the cold like you can. Because i'm not like you." The words tumbled out fast, almost tripping over each other in the haste they were forced out in. He drew his knees to his chest and dropped his head to rest on them.
" Everyday you tell me that I should try harder and that I give up too soon. And that one day it'll all be natural. But I know it won't be. Because i'm not a dragon ." He drew a shuddering breath, heart pounding wildly in his chest at the rush of letting all his fears free and Igneel almost reeled from the force of it. Stress and insecurity and anger at himself had laced Natsu's words, digging their way past Igneel's scales to attack his heart. His tail swept across the snow once more, piling it up against the tree trunks. He dug a claw into the snow in thought, the gouge mark deepening with each passing. Natsu rocked slightly, back and forth on his heels, lost in a whirlwind of emotion.
"And who is to say…" Igneel paused, eyes narrowing as he chose his words tactfully. "...that you aren't a dragon?" Natsu stopped rocking and lifted his head somewhat, allowing the scarf to fall just beneath his eyes to Igneel with a withering glare. Bright green eyes were tinged with red around the edges.
"I'm not stupid Igneel." He accused.
"So what makes a dragon 'a dragon' then?"
"A dragon has scales and claws, and fangs and-"
"Ah, but you have those too." Igneel cut him off, reaching a claw out tenderly to hook on the end of the scarf to pull it down past his quavering mouth." You have fangs hidden away beneath those lips of yours. And you have scales." He raised the claw slightly, showing off the end of the scarf that hung limply from it. "As for claws, well you always chew them off but they're there. Strong enough to leave a scratch on my scales in your rowdy sleeps. You are my son, that makes you a dragon in the truest sense."
"Dragons have tails. And wings."
"I knew some with one or the other. Any many who had neither." Igneel responded cheekily. "And those without were no lesser than those with. Only less burdened in a fight."
Natsu snatched away his scarf from Igneel, flying to his feet and staring at level with Igneel's eyes. He dug his heels into the ground. " A dragon's s'pose to be strong and powerful! I'm not! This is supposed to be easy for a dragon cause it's easy for you! But it's not for me! Cause i'm.not.like. you! Stop trying to make me feel like I am!"
His echoed words from earlier stung at Igneel even harder now as he saw the turmoil in Natsu's eyes, locked behind a wave of fresh tears that struggled to break free and run down his face. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip harshly, biting at it without care even as Igneel caught glimpse of the first beads of blood. He only slowed his gnawings then, wincing slightly at the pain while he forced his eyes down to focus at his bare feet shuffling on the ground.
"Natsu…" Igneel murmured. He eased his head closer to the child until his horned snout was just mere inches from his chest. His eyes rounded with softness. "My son… My one and only son. A dragon is more than just the few traits you can see. Or what they came from. Do you really think us so unalike despite everything that we share?" His question hung in the air, unanswered, yet Igneel pressed on.
"What magic do you have? What magic do you train everyday to use?"
"....fire… " came the trembling answer.
" Fire ." Igneel affirmed with the slightest of nods. "Fire that I gave to you. Fire burned into your bones, your soul, that connects us both in a bond stronger than blood not only to each other, but to the others before us."
Natsu focused back on Igneel,lifting his head while he swiped a knuckle over his split lip to smear the bits of red on his cheek. "What others? It's just me and you out here."
Igneel smiled, crinkling the corners of his eyes slightly. " My flame was passed on to me from my mother. And she gained it from her mother before her. And the line continues beyond that, with the flame passed from fire dragon to fire dragon for countless generations. They live on in our fires though they have long since passed." He huffed out a breath. Thin puffs of smoke laced with blinking embers danced around Natsu and winking out of existence when they touched his skin.
"You are a part of that lineage. Whether you were born into it or not holds no account, you hear me? The snowflakes that fall around us are all different with no two alike and yet they are still very much the same. Much like you and I."
Natsu curled his fingers around the ends of his scarf, eyes flitting between it and Igneel's face, as if mulling over hiding behind it again the way his fingers tightened on the tassles. He moved forward with an unreadable expression that seemed unsuited for his young face, resting his head against Igneel's dry snout.
"Why is all of this so hard for me then?" He mumbled
"It takes time for an ember to grow to a blaze."
"It wasn't for you though. It's always easy for you."
At this Igneel chuckled. "I'm old Natsu. Very old. I've had my time to make it look easy. But there were times I struggled, much like you. Or perhaps I was worse off." The cold moonlight now dripped through thick, dark clouds on the pair, determined to stay on them and not be hidden away like the rest of the sky. " Far beyond my days as a hatchling I struggled with my abilities. Much to the….ire of my mother." The fire dragon's lips thinned at his chosen words. She was a tough one, with a scaled over heart he would often joke out of range. The love was in there, as he always saw in her blind eyes. But so was annoyance and a palpable sadness at each failure. And at each failure her methods became harsher to get him to a point she deemed satisfactory. Igneel winced.
His tail curled closer to his body at the memories rushing back, the tip brushing Natsu's ankle. "She was a master like no other. Truly. But i'm embarrassed to think that my training methods are a bit too much like hers in some ways." He sighed, nudging Natsu with his snout. A silent tell that Natsu understood, scaling the dragon's head with practiced ease to settle for the night.
"In my haste to see you strong I may have repeated her mistakes as a teacher and perhaps, as a parent as well." Igneel's eyes glanced up at the weight resting atop his head, nestled comfortably just between his horns. "Tell me my son. Do you think I need to change how you're trained?"
He felt Natsu move, sliding down just above his ridged brow. Then a pink head came into view hanging upside down, the scarf almost unwinding fully. " Are you gonna be disappointed if I say yes?"
Igneel shook his head."No."
"Then yeah, you should. And no more bad jokes." His tone was firm with his mouth set in a serious line. "I'll still keep trying hard if you promise."
"I promise." "And you promise never to leave me alone?"
"I never will."
Natsu's lips curled in a small smile, twinging slightly from the cut. He pulled back but stopped himself short, doubt filtering in his eyes. "....Did you really mean what you said? About me being a dragon like you?" He sounded unsure, as though mentally steeling himself for a bad answer.
"Yes. You have no reason to ever doubt that you aren't. As long as you have the fire then you are a dragon like me. Or better even when you get older."
The snowfall had finally eased, the clouds finally winning over the moon and painting everything dark. Igneel tipped his head up slightly, and Natsu slid back with a surprised yelp. "Now close those eyes and get some rest, fire dragons have to rise early to greet the sun."
"Can't fire dragons ever sleep in?" Came the whispered grumble though he already felt Natsu curling up dutifully. Igneel chuckled, resting his head on his clawed legs. "One day we can give it a try." He mumbled out something more that Igneel didn't quite catch but he didn't press any further into it. The trees were still, the winds having died down some time ago to barely a stirring.
"Hey Igneel."
"Yes Natsu."
"......Thanks, for making me feel better."
"Anytime, my son. Anytime."