Chapter Text
Shouts were reaching his thoughts, not leaving space for weakness and indifference. Once he started this, he knew there was no going back.
“Power to the people, eh?”
Bellamy looked up to see a scrawny little kid with a red shirt matching his fiery hair, messy and dirty like everyone else's. He looked about twenty, but he knew he had to be at least seventeen.
“I'm Ben” he introduced himself.
Bellamy narrowed his eyes, not sure if from stress or the boy’s attitude, but he didn't care enough to think more of it, so he put his own weight on the drop ship wall and sighed.
“Why are you here?” Bellamy tried to sound more annoyed than tired, but somehow managed to do both.
“They want ya to come out and make a statement. Or…” The boy shrugged and let out a frustrated sigh “…I don't know. Tell ‘em something?”
“Like what?” Suddenly Bellamy felt his energy slowly reaching his limbs and he stood up, trying not to look lost “I'm supposed to just let them have a little fun and kill one of their own because he stole some of the supplies from the wrong person? How is that a good decision?"
“Well, I'm not saying you should let them kill him, but it's not gonna get better if you stay and keep him here, either” the boy spoke calmly.
Bellamy smirked mockingly “You don't know how it is. It's either they kill him, or they turn on me.” He looked away. “And I want them to trust me, but so far all they need is some wild justice that isn't even just…” He trailed of, his voice barely audible.
The boy shrugged again and exited the drop ship, leaving Bellamy with his thoughts.
One. Two. Three. Fou-
“Come on Bellamy just get on with it already!”
His breathing hitched. He's not killing him, they are.
Bellamy closed his eyes, trying to block out all the sounds coming from the cruel outside. Ironically, he loved to go outside, breathe in the fresh air, the smell of the forest making him only slightly dizzy. It made him feel so alive. Now the dropship feels like a safe zone, and coming out would be a death wish.
“Bellamy quit stalling and give him to us!”
“We won't hurt him. We promise!” Some of the laughs that followed the last retort made it clear that was bullshit. Everything in this situation seemed bullshit and he couldn't bring himself to make the right choice. What is right these days anyway?
He looked down at the boy, still lying on the floor after he knocked him out cold. What else he was supposed to do? The kid is an idiot. He's as loyal to Bellamy as anyone else in this camp – until something breaks or goes wrong in any way.
He will die one way or another, right?
He jumped as the gunshots roared behind the metal walls. Are they shooting each other now? He stayed still for a moment before he could make out someone shouting. Weirdly enough, there was only one voice in the whole crowd, because apparently everyone else fell silent.
“We are not animals. Behave yourselves! Is this what the human race was rooting for? Because if it is, I don’t want to have a part in it. Sure! Slaughter each other, easy. Then find yourselves shelter, food. Survive and thrive on your own!” Bellamy swore he physically felt the sarcasm the speaker had politely put in the speech. “Do you want to live or die? Because from where this is going, not many of you will have the first option.”
Apparently the speech was over before he knew it and he flinched when someone knocked on the hatch.
“Bellamy open the door! Now!”
He hesitated, but he knew if he didn't do what he's told, he might be in more trouble than he is now, so he swallowed thickly and slowly pulled the hatch up, only to see a determined face of a blonde who was mentally throwing daggers at him.
Okay, he may have deserved it, for all the mayhem he caused, after all.
She rushed in and he closed the door firmly, just in case.
“Bellamy Blake, what the hell were you thinking?” She spat out, closing the distance between them. Suddenly, her face dropped and then, as a flash of lightning, her emotion changed, jaw clenched and she looked around.
“Where is he” that didn't even sound like a question, more like a demand and the calmness in her voice only scared him a little bit. Bellamy turned his head as if to wordlessly point to the right direction, but she was faster than him and ran towards the boy without even letting him say anything.
“Clarke, he's okay, just knocked out” he finally spoke.
“Yeah, I can see that. After your little drama fest everyone saw what you did”
“I didn't kill him!” He sounded more defensive than he ever let out to be.
“Yet.” She raised an eyebrow at him. Shit.
“I wasn't going to kill him. I just…” He just couldn't find the right words.
“What? You just what? Thought you wait and everything will turn out just fine? Well, some news for you. Apparently they take you for a leader, but suddenly you don't take responsibility for it, so you just lock yourself up and do god knows what while your people wait outside for their brave little king.”
“Is that what you think?” He didn't mean to sound like she just stomped on his dignity and made him feel empty, an aching feeling in his chest.
She only sighed and turned her gaze back to the boy “That's what they've been rambling about before I politely interrupted.” He saw her purse her lips and she tilted her head to meet his gaze again.
Bellamy half smiled at her “I should have known it was you.” She rolled her eyes.
“Who else could be so heroic, swoop in and save the day if not the brave princess.”
“You're not funny.”
Bellamy shrugged “I am, actually.”
“Yeah, and this is my happy face” she looked at him, her expression unamused, her lips pursed and eyes glaring, and it made him laugh. Just before she turned away, rolling her eyes for the hundredth time, he saw a hint of a smile creeping up on her lips, and he realized he hadn't seen her smile almost at all. There were a few times, but then life wasn't as bad as it is now.
It has been two months since there was an accident on the ark and they've lost contact with the radio station. When the Exodus ship crashed, he saw how Clarke fell on the ground to her knees, the realization of her mother’s death stung him like a motherfucker and he couldn't do anything about it.
All he could do is be there for her, maybe not as close as he sometimes caught himself wishing to, but it was something.
He knew it sucked. Losing someone you care about, but he couldn't really tell her anything that would make her feel better. Because he too had no idea how to make things easier around here. Sure he could be a fearless leader barking orders in all the directions possible, but would it be worth it? He doubted.
He was glad Clarke didn't leave him alone in this. She could easily get rid of all the responsibilities that piled up, but she held her ground, kept herself composed no matter what. She was their healer, the voice of reason. They needed her, but she didn't seem to need anything from them. Well, unless you count the absence of violence in the camp. Bellamy winced. Not until today, you idiot.
He glanced at her, watching as her hair fell on her face. His hand twitched, and for a moment he wanted to brush the hair out of her face, tell her that it was going to be okay. The thing is – he couldn't do it. Not the hair thing. He wasn't sure if they could be able to live through the winter, not to talk about the grounders always scouting their territory. With the number of delinquents dropping, there would be no one to defend the camp, let alone live in it.
“Care to share your thoughts?” Her voice startled him a bit, but he only shook his head, so she continued “What are we going to do with him? More importantly, what are we going to do with them” she gestured at the restless crowd behind the metal wall.
He took notice how, instead of pinning everything on him, she took half of his responsibility on her shoulders. He's not sure if he deserves it. He's not sure about anything at all, not anymore.
“Earth to Bellamy” she let out a huff, amusement reaching her eyes.
Bellamy smiled weakly “yeah. I bet you're happy you can say that now. Not having to be on the ark and all.”
“Huh. Well you'd be losing that bet Bell, because as beautiful as it is, Earth kind of sucks. Especially at surprise welcome parties.” She smiled back, but her smile was genuine, and it made him feel more relaxed than he ever felt in a while. Bell. Okay, he could definitely get used to this. This was fun. This was easy.
Suddenly she gasped and furrowed her eyebrows just a little “Hey, don't change the subject. We need to figure this one out. Please?”
Anything you wish, Princess. “Fine” she raised a brow. “I won't..We won't let them take him. He’ll be on cleaning duty for a month or something… I don't know..” He hoped it was good enough.
“No, that's good. If they won't feel like it's the right deal, you can prove them wrong, they’ll listen to you.”
“They listen to you more.” She looked at him, confusion written all over her face “The crowd wanted me dead or alive before you showed up and knocked some sense into them”
“That wasn't exactly what I did I-“
“I heard you, Princess. You told them the truth, and you can do it again. I just… I can't do it alone, okay?” He let the words out before his mind could protest, oh and he knew this might bit him in the ass later, but was it really a crime to tell her the truth?
“You won't be alone, I promise” this time she kept her gaze locked with his, her voice firm but calming, making him feel like home. Not the way the ark made him feel. It was something else. Something they had been building up from scratch, something they've protected to this day. Something they had within each other, but not all could see it.
He felt safe, and suddenly, he wasn't afraid. They were the leaders, one helping the other, and the crowd behind the walls… They were their people. Their responsibility.
Bellamy smiled at the thought. All this time he had a sister to take care of, a responsibility he never asked for, but later on was grateful for. Now he had a group of delinquents trying survive through the day. They couldn't do this without him. And he couldn't do this without her.
He stood up as she did the same.
“Ready?”
He smiled.
“When wasn't I ready?”
“How about five minutes ago?”
He snorted.
“Shut up.”
They both exited the drop ship, first Clarke, then Bellamy. They left the boy behind for his own sake. Now there was no going back. He shot one more glance over to Clarke and received a nod, urging him to speak to the crowd. You can do this. You are not alone.
“Alright, listen...”