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There was nothing around her but darkness. The moon was shining brightly and its light came into the room through the window, but she was unable to see it. She had been cuddling herself since several hours earlier because her heartbeats became stronger and her mind fell into the abyss at the speed of light.
Mafuyu hugged her knees tightly, hiding her face there and letting tears fall for the first time.
— “(…) why don’t you aim higher and become a doctor?” “Being a doctor is perfect for Mafuyu.”
Said, suddenly, a familiar voice inside her mind.
“ I want to be a nurse… ”
She answered inside her mind, not out loud.
—“(…) Asahina-san can’t go (…) She is the highest honor student, isn’t she? ”
“ I want to go… ”
—“(…) Being that busy basically means you have no free time for anything, right? ”
“ Despite that, I want to go! ”
—“ You want to become a doctor, huh? ”
“ No! ”
—“ That suits you perfectly ~! ”
“ I… don’t care… ”
Those were never given answers, the things she wanted to admit. They were silenced by herself just because she didn’t want… what?
—“ Mother and Father are cheering on me… So, probably, this is for the best. And… I should be happy about it, yeah… ”
—“ …Everyone is smiling. ”
Mafuyu’s own voice was the one now talking inside her mind. And, despite that, these were the ones that hurt the most.
“ But… I’m not happy, I’ve never been happy! Where did my smile go…? Have I… ever smiled? ” She replied to herself.
The pain suddenly became stronger, she got a headache and her breath turned irregular and superficial. Mafuyu recognized the symptoms, they were the same as in the doll’s exposition. But there was nothing she could do. It got worse second by second.
As her mind fell into darkness, her body shaked and she could even feel all ten nails scratch her skin. But it didn’t hurt at all… it gave her relief. Mafuyu could not remember why she decided to give another chance to life. Who convinced her? How?
“—fuyu.”
The girl opened her eyes slowly, searching where the voice came from, but there was nothing but her empty room. Of course nobody would be there, she was alone, as always.
“Mafuyu?”
“Kanade…?”
Suddenly Mafuyu realizes: she had the headphones and logged in Niigo group an hour ago, but nobody was there and decided to sit in the bed and rest a little bit until…
“Yes, It’s me. I saw you online so I started talking, were you busy?”
“No, I just…”
Mafuyu’s voice sounded broken, like when someone has been crying, and Kanade noticed immediately. They had always been talking online after all, and any change in her tone was easily noticed.
“Are you okay?”
No answer came through the headphones, so Kanade assumed it as a “no”. Thankfully, Mafuyu started being honest with her feelings when talking to her, even if it just a little.
“I’ve just read the lyrics you wrote yesterday, Yuki.”
“… And?”
“I love them. I think it suits perfectly with the song I composed.”
“…” More silence in response. But nothing strange when it came from Mafuyu. “K…”
“Uhm?”
“…No, it’s nothing.”
No words needed. Mafuyu knows Kanade enough to notice: K songs were made on purpose to help her… those songs had her own lyrics, no matter how dark or hopeless they were, it could fit.