Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Jared, did you break up with Sasha for me?

“Yes, Gavin.”

“Was she crying? That bitch had better be crying.”

“Uh, yes, sir. She did indeed cry, and she called me a kiss-ass lackey boy.”

“Okay, good. Listen, I need you to make dinner reservations for me at that new Indian restaurant near Newell Road. You know the one?’

“Yes, Gavin. Will it be just you?”

“It was just going to be me… but fuck it. Ask Sasha to join me. That girl loves her kadhai paneer, so.”

“But Gavin — You just made me break up with her.”

“And?”

Jared was lucky. He kept reminding himself that on days like this. He was so very lucky to have the chance to work with somebody like Gavin Belson. Half of the people in the Valley would kill to have his job, so he should consider himself fortunate: He gets to see Gavin’s life up close, and help him grow as a person.

This is a dream job, Jared thinks.

But it isn’t his dream job.

—

It’s been five hours since Laurie has kept Richard waiting on the phone. He anxiously bites his nails and tries to rearrange the post-it notes around his laptop in a neater fashion.

When Laurie finally picks up, it’s 9 PM. Richard had fallen asleep on the phone.

“Richard.”

Laurie sighs on the other end of the phone.

“Richard Hendricks!”

The man jerks awake. “Yes, Mom! I- heh, I mean, Laurie.”

“You forgot to order me dinner.”

“S-Sorry, I was just waiting for you to pick up- “

“I don’t care about your excuses, Richard. Just don’t let it happen again.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“So, what have you ordered me for dinner?”

“Oh- you still want me to- Okay, there’s this new Dhaba that opened near Newell Road, I can order you some Mughlai from there?”

“Fantastic. Do that. And next time, don’t fall asleep when you’re on call with me.”

“Noted, Laurie.”

His boss keeps the call and Richard sighs. He calls the restaurant, but nobody picks up. It was too risky to keep Laurie waiting after he had already offended her today. So, he decides to go to Newell Road himself, get the food packed, and then deliver it to his majesty. Richard was an assistant; he could very well be a delivery boy too.

---

Jared had been through several break-ups. Some of them mutual, some of them not. He didn’t harbour any bad feelings towards his exes, for the most part. He moved on quick. The point is, he knew how breakups go. So, when he called Sasha again, begging her to go to dinner with his boss, the outrage in her response wasn’t exactly unexpected.

This was the first time in his two-year long job, where he would have to say No to Gavin. He wasn’t looking forward to it at all. He tries to think of the best-case scenarios. Maybe Gavin would just let him off with a warning…. No, that just seems very unlike him. Hm... Maybe he would just shout at Jared and throw things from his desk at him, like he usually does when he’s pissed. Granted, that would be terrible, but Jared would take that over getting fired by Gavin Belson any day.

Jared thinks of several other ways in which this could play out, but none of them are what he imagined.

“God damn it, Fuck Sasha! You try to do a nice thing for someone and -- you know what Jared; you’re coming to dinner with me.” Gavin says. It isn’t a question, Jared, would you come to dinner with me? No. It’s a declaration. Jared is going to dinner with Gavin. That’s it.

It’s not like he had any plans anyway.

Jared isn’t sure where this falls on the Best-or-Worst Scenario scale. He decides to figure it out later.

---

Richard doesn’t like driving, and he isn’t any good at it either. He goes out of his way to avoid it, which still doesn’t play out in his favour, because he hates slow drivers, and constantly arguing with his friends who so graciously agreed to drive him to his dentist isn’t exactly good friend behaviour.

And yet, when he asks Big Head to quickly drive him to Newell Road, he gets a very enthusiastic thumbs-up.

“Road trip!” exclaims Big Head while they’re taking a turn, and Richard shakes his head.

“Road trip? This is not a road trip, man. I’m gonna be in some deep shit if I don’t get Laurie her dinner in an hour. The hour started when she kept the call so--“ Richard checks the time on his phone. “--I have 35 minutes left to get there, get the food packed, then come back to the office. You need to drive fast, okay? Fast. Faster than, I don’t know, fucking Usain Bolt.”

“Usain Bolt doesn’t drive cars. His entire thing is that he runs.”

“You know what I mean!”

“Fine, but if we get in an accident, it’s on you.”

“Yeah, whatever, just, go fast. Okay?”

Big Head drives faster. He doesn’t drive above the speed limit because he already has some parking tickets and he doesn’t need more, but he’s driving fast and Richard is quiet, which probably (hopefully) means he has no complaints with the speed.

They drive in silence, and just as Big Head drives into the parking space, Richard bolts out of the car. Big Head screams behind him, but the man pays no heed to him. Maybe that’s what he meant by Usain Bolt.

Richard enters the restaurant. It appears well-lit and fancy, and seems pretty packed for a Thursday night. Business must be going well. He walks up to a waiter, who looks at him with an annoyed expression.

“Sir. We are completely packed tonight. We aren’t receiving orders to-go for the time being.”

“Listen, you don’t understand, if I don’t get my boss her dinner in--“ He glances at his watch “--23 minutes, I will be dead.”

“Well, rest in peace, then.”

“Oh, fuck you. Can’t you just find me a table for two? I’ll find a way to pack the food myself because apparently your restaurant is a fucking-“

“Sir? Yelling at me isn’t going to help either of us. You can stand in the waiting line if you’d like, but I can’t do anything else for you.”

“Fine. Fine.” Richard looks at the waiting line, and his throat literally clogs up. It’s a long fucking queue and there is no way in hell that he’d be able to get Laurie her food on time. Fuck, he thinks. I’m finally gonna get fired. And it’ll be because I couldn’t get my boss dinner.

---

Jared has a habit of arriving early to places whenever he can, because being late makes him seem unprofessional or whatever. He enters the restaurant and is greeted by a polite waiter who asks him for his name.

“Um, I got a reservation under the name Gavin Belson?”

The waiter looks through the list of reservations on the computer. He nods at Jared when he finds the name.

“Welcome, follow me. Table for two, yes?”

Jared nods, and he follows the waiter. While walking, he feels somebody pulling his arm. It freaks him out.

He tries to evaluate the situation. He is in a restaurant, which appears to be packed, filled with people, and if anybody were to hurt him, there would definitely be witnesses. The waiter wasn’t facing Jared, but if this person pulling his hand were to be violent to him, the waiter would know. He would call security. Jared would be fine. It would be okay. So, there is no need to go into fight-or-flight mode, particularly fight mode.

But Jared ignores all of this, and instead pulls the arm pulling him and twists it.

“OW! Fuck--“

Jared turns around, and so does the waiter. They are greeted by the sight of a short, curly-haired man holding his arm and wincing in pain, and backing away from them. Jared quickly realises what he just did.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry, I thought you were going to attack me and I just, instinctively-- Are you alright?”

“Well. No, considering you just twisted my arm but it’s—it’s understandable, I guess. I did kinda pull your arm. I just had a weird question to ask you?”

“Do I know you? I’m Jared Dunn.” He puts his hand out to shake the stranger’s hand, but then remembers that it’s probably not a good idea considering what he’d just done to it.

“Richard. Uh, Hendricks. You don’t know me, I just, Can you order something for me? I’ll like, give you the money for it and everything, it’s for my boss--”

The waiter quickly interrupts. “Sir, can you please wait in the line? This gentleman had a reservation in place, and you clearly don’t.”

Richard ignores him. “Please?”

Jared couldn’t say no. He did just (accidentally) physically assault him, so he owed it to him to help.

“What do you need me to order?”

“THANK YOU! Chicken Mughlai and Gulab Jamun. That’s it. How much would that cost?”

Jared and Richard look at the waiter.

The waiter rolls his eyes. “I’ll give you guys a menu. Follow me.”

The men do as he says. Jared mentally notes that Richard looks like the Greek God Hermes. The waiter sits them down at Gavin’s table and hands them two menus. Richard practically begs for the food to be packed, which is met with a very tired expression on the polite waiter’s face, but he nods anyway.

“So, it’ll be 170 dollars total? Thank you so much, Jared. I’ll just—” Richard tries to find his wallet, but he can’t seem to find it. He frowns. “GOD FUCKING DAMN IT. I forgot my wallet, um… Is it possible for you to pay for this? I promise you I’ll pay you back tomorrow, you can take my number and call me every hour until I do, but I just need to get this—”

“Calm down, Mr. Hendricks. I’ll pay for it. I hurt you, so it’s like an apology. You can have your food. My boss seems to be running late anyway, so I don’t think he’ll notice.”

“I’m just gonna give you my number anyway. You’re helping me, heh, a complete stranger. I kinda have to pay you back.”

Jared doesn’t know how to respond to that, so he just shrugs. Richard quickly takes out a fancy-looking pen from his jeans and writes his number on tissue paper. When he hands it to Jared, the taller man realises a few things:

1. Richard Hendricks is pretty.
2. He has a pretty man’s number.
3. Richard has terribly messy handwriting.

There is a smiley face drawn next to the phone number, which makes Jared smile really hard.

The two of them sit in awkward silence for five minutes, until a different waiter comes to their table with a paper bag in his hands. Richard literally snatches the bag, gestures to Jared to give him a call, and runs out of the restaurant.

Jared realises that Richard left his pen behind, so he screams after him. Suddenly, his phone starts ringing. He picks it up and sees that it’s Gavin.

“Where the ever-loving fuck are you?” Gavin inquires.

“I’m um, at the restaurant? The one you asked me to make reservations at--“

“Yeah, fuck that. I need you to go back to the office and clean up this mess of a spreadsheet Hoover made. I emailed it to you.”

“Um, Gavin--“

“Fine, you can do it at home, but you have to finish it before you come into work tomorrow. Understood?”

“Yes, sir.”

This certainly isn’t the best-case scenario, Jared thinks. He looks at the tissue paper. But it isn’t the worst either.

Chapter Text

If Richard could, he’d quit this terrible fucking job and scream at Laurie Bream and destroy her entire fucking office.

But since he’s a man in his thirties who is still living with his college roommate and living on cup noodles and coffee, he decides to not do any of those things. And also because he’s not criminally insane.

Richard just fucking raced to a restaurant, got his arm twisted, and threw up inside Big Head’s car just to get his boss dinner, and Laurie had the nerve to leave. He hadn’t even been late, in fact he was waiting outside her office at like, 10:25, which is five minutes early, technically. 

Monica, one of the managers at Raviga who was working late, informed Richard that Laurie left the building at 10:00, and he was pissed. She could’ve called him to tell him that she’s leaving early, but no.

So, Richard did what any good, spiteful assistant would do. He ate the dinner he got for Laurie (even though it was too spicy for him and it made him feel super queasy) and fell asleep in his cubicle.

--

Jared gets to work at 8:30 AM, like he always does. He sits at his desk, and opens his laptop to re-check the spreadsheet he worked on last night. He suddenly remembers the man – Richard – who he was supposed to call, and digs through his pocket to find a neatly folded paper with his number on it. He calls it, and Richard picks up after five beeps.

“Hello! This is Jared Dunn, we met last night at the restaurant?”

“Huh?” Richard yawns. “Jared Dunn,” he repeats his name.

“Yes… I’m sorry, did I just wake you up? I can call later if you’d like, or just leave it—“

“Nuh-uh, it’s all. Okay. Just give me a second, I’ll call you back.”

Jared keeps the call, a little disappointed. After five minutes, he’s lost all hope of Richard calling back, but then his phone rings.

“Hi. Jared Dunn?”

“Yes, that’s me! I’m sorry again if I woke you up.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m kind of glad you did, because my boss gets here in 10 minutes and she’d probably kill me if she found me sleeping.”

“Yes, Gavin is the same way.”

“Gavin like, Gavin Belson? The Hooli guy?!”

“Yes! I’m Gavin’s assistant.”

“Wow, uh, okay, that’s cool! My best friend Big He- I mean, Nelson Bighetti used to work there. I mean, he still does. I think. He’s unassigned.”

“I think I’ve heard of him, he must be a programmer.”

“Yeah, he is.”

“Okay.”

They stay in awkward silence for three seconds, when Jared remembers why he called him.

“I called you because you accidentally left your pen behind at the restaurant and it looked quite expensive, so--"

"Shoot, I can’t believe I almost lost C-3PO again, thank you for keeping him, I mean, it, thank you for keeping it—”

Jared laughs. “Did you name your pen after a Star Wars character?

Even though they were on call, Jared could feel Richard blushing as he said “Well, yes, because gold co—it doesn’t matter, um, can we meet? I’ll remember to get my wallet, and you can return my pen.”

“Of course! Are you free this evening?”

“I, um, don’t know? Can I just text you when I know for sure?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Where would we meet, anyway?”

Jared did some quick thinking, because he wanted to get to know Richard better but didn’t want to come off as creepy, so he asks, “Do you know where Coupa Café is?”

“Not exactly, but I’ll find it. I’ll text you, alright? Bye.”

As Richard hangs up, Jared lets out a sound of excitement. The janitor who was cleaning up near his desk gives him a weird look.

--

Richard: laurie has a meeting from 6 to 8. i’m free then.

Richard: so… yeah.

Jared: Gavin has yoga classes from 5 to 7.

Jared: So, meet me at 6?

Richard: cool, that works. 

Richard: excited to see you again :)

Jared turns red at the smiley face because it reminds him of the tissue paper Richard gave him his number on. At around 5:45, he sneakily leaves the Hooli premises. It’s not like he wasn’t allowed to leave, but he was scared that if someone important saw him, they’d strike up a conversation and as much as he loved talking to people, there was only one person he wanted to talk to right now.

He drives to the café and when he gets there, he finds Richard waiting outside, wearing a green sweater and khakis that were too long for him. When Richard sees Jared, he smiles. He finds a place to park, and almost runs to Richard when he gets out of the car. Too eager, Donald! he thinks, and slows his pace.

“Hey man.” Richard says, as he extends his hand.

Jared high fives him, which makes Richard giggle and shake his head.

“I was trying to shake your hand.”

“Oh, sorry, I’ve just gotten used to high-fiving people at Hooli, because it’s supposed to foster a more friendly work environment,” Jared tries to shake Richard’s hand now, who just high fives him. Both of them laugh as they try to find an empty table. It was awkward for sure, but the good kind of awkward. 

A waitress gives them the menu and after they place their order, Richard takes out his wallet. “170 dollars. Here you go. Thank you for last night. Laurie didn’t really end up eating it, I did, so, technically you paid for my dinner. So like, yeah, thank you. So much.”

“Richard, I insist that you don’t pay me back, I injured you!” Jared pauses. “Also the money isn’t really mine, so.”

“Well, I’m fine now,” He waves his arms around to prove it, and yelps when his right hand accidentally hits the table, which makes Jared concerned.

“Richard! Did that hurt too much—” He takes Richard’s hand in his to examine it. Richard turns bright red but doesn’t move at all.

“It’s only a little red, but we can get some ice for it, I’m sure.” Jared looks at him, but Richard doesn’t meet his eyes. He softly takes his hand back. “It’ll be fine, um, let me pay you back?”

“It’s Gavin’s money, really, and I don’t think he’ll notice or care.” He leans in. “And Gavin isn’t exactly the nicest person to me, so this is sort of my revenge. You really don’t have to pay me back.”

Richard feels like throwing up, but in a good way somehow. He feels like his stomach is fluttering or something. “Okay, if you say so."

As the waitress brings them their order, Richard fidgets with the fork in front of him. “What do you mean that Gavin isn’t exactly the nicest person to you?”

“Oh, you know, billionaires. Gavin is a genius, of course, but he can be quite harsh to the people who work under him.”

“I think that just comes with being an assistant? Laurie is… not a terrible boss? Like, she actively listens to my ideas and gives me like, constructive criticism, but sometimes she treats me like I’m a dog or something, you know? It makes me wish that I was working for like, myself.”

Jared nods, understanding. “Sometimes I wish I could just get some actual time off. Gavin often makes me work on weekends and vacations, and it can be really cumbersome.”

“I get what you mean. I just wish that Laurie would like, do something other than work, like date somebody or something, and like get laid." 

"Gavin could definitely benefit from some sort of a steady relationship." 

Richard nods, and takes a sip of his coffee. Jared suddenly has an idea, and his eyes light up. 

"Richard, have you watched The Parent Trap?" 

Chapter Text

“Of course I’ve watched the Lindsay Lohan classic, my sister and I would watch that every time we’d hang out after our parents got divorced,” Richard laughs a little, “We even tried to do it to them, like, we tried to parent trap them. Didn’t end well.”

“Richard…  what if… we tried to set them up? Gavin and Laurie?” Jared asks, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Did you not hear me say that it did not end well when I did it to my parents?”

“I did, but. Oh. I know everything about Gavin. And you know everything about Laurie. They also have plenty in common. It shouldn’t be too hard to set them up. We could do it,” Jared smiles. “Together.”

Richard wants to say something along the lines of “It still sounds like a bad idea” and “What if they found out?” and “I still need to get to know you better before I start getting into hijinks with you” but he doesn’t say any of it, because Jared looks so god damn bright and excited about this. It’s like he has puppy eyes or something. Richard just can’t get himself to say no.

Okay, maybe he could give this a try.

“Um, sure, but. How’d we even fucking do it? It’s not like they work in the same office.”

Jared thinks for a second and is about to give him an answer, but his phone starts ringing. It’s Gavin. Of course it’s Gavin. He gestures to Richard to wait two minutes as he picks up the call and is greeted by the sound of his boss screaming.

“Goodness, Gavin, is everything alright?”

“I wouldn’t be fucking screaming right now if it was. Where are you right now? Why aren’t you here?”

Jared shifts in his chair, nervously. “I- I’m on my break? Also, you had yoga right now?”

“I don’t care if you’re on your break or you’re getting kidnapped and shipped off to fucking Italy, you are to be available for me 24/7. Do you understand that?’

Jared clears his throat. “Yes, sir.” He hears Gavin sigh on the other end of the line.

“Get here right now.” Gavin says, in a rushed, angry tone- one that sometimes make Jared shiver. He keeps the call, shaking just a little bit. Years of being screamt at, and he’s still not used to how it feels after.

“Is everything okay, Jared?” Richard asks him, concerned.

“Yes, everything is perfectly alright. I just need to leave; it turns out that Gavin came back early from his yoga class.”

“Oh… you’re leaving?” Gosh, Richard looks almost sad. Jared doesn’t like it one bit.

“I’m so sorry to cut this short, this was very fun, and it was really nice to meet you, Richard Hendricks.”

“It’s just, uh, Richard.” He bites his lip. “Can I.. Can I see you again?”

Jared nods at him, smiling a little bit at Richard’s sad, hopeful expression. He leaves some cash on the table and says “Of course, Richard,” and winks, he fucking winks and Richard feels butterflies in his stomach because what the hell.

Chapter Text

“Number 40, Luis Severino. Yankees' 24-year-old Dominican pitcher is on the mound to start.” An announcer says.

Jared and Richard are seated amongst a group of elderly people, who all seem a little too excited. They seem to be cheering very loudly at every little moment, which kind of upsets Richard because how on earth are these 90-year-olds more alive than he is. He really needs to get a life, like a real life, that doesn’t just involve running around all of Silicon Valley for Laurie fucking Bream. It’s been so long since he’s had fun outside with anyone except Big Head.

Speaking of which, Jared seems to be handing out water bottles to the old people. Where did he get the bottles from? Fuck if he knows. But Richard takes a bottle for himself too, because holy shit it’s hot in here. Part of him wishes he could’ve just stayed in the office, but… this was something new. So, it’s good.

Suddenly, Richard is brought back to reality by the voice of the announcer: “All right, Yankees fans! It’s time to pucker up!” Jared’s face instantly lights up, and he gets up. “It’s happening! Richard!”

A Bruno Mars song starts blaring loudly from the speakers as the camera pans over to Laurie and Gavin, who seem to be sitting together now. Richard was worried that they might’ve gotten the wrong seats, but everything seemed to be going according to plan. Thank god. Or rather, thank Jared. He’s the real reason why any of this was working out, after all.

“Fuck, I don’t actually know if they’re gonna kiss,” Richard realises out loud. “They’re both so awkward.”

Gavin laughs in the face of the camera, almost refusing to make eye contact with Laurie. She rolls her eyes at the people shouting – did they not know who they were? Neither of them wanted to do this. It would only make business a whole lot weirder. Both of them shook their heads, earning them some very loud “Boo!”s from everyone. Surely in today’s day and age someone would’ve thought a bit more about the consent issues here, but clearly nobody cares.

The camera moves on to two other couples, and both kiss. Jared falls onto his seat, defeated, and Richard honestly doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t too disappointed because he wasn’t exactly expecting much, but Jared seemed to genuinely have his heart set on this. The camera went over a fourth couple, and at this point, Jared looked like a deflated balloon toy.

“Going back to our first couple! Are you two ready? Last chance!”

Richard finds himself standing up in anticipation. “Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” He chants along with the crowd, which rejuvenates Jared right back. “Yeah! Kiss! It’s the law!” Jared screams, and for a moment there, it feels like it’s not gonna happen. Laurie seems to be looking at her phone, and Gavin looks nervous on camera for the first time in his life. People begin to boo them again.

And yet, they give in. Call it the magic of the kiss cam. It’s just a little peck, initiated by Laurie, but it gets the whole stadium roaring. It makes Richard truly understand why people love sports so much – it’s all about the anticipation. Jared looks at Richard, and almost holds his hand, before realising that it’s reaching for the water bottle instead.

“Richard! We did it!” Jared exclaims, unable to contain his excitement. “Do you think they’re gonna --?”

“Have sex and get married?” Richard asks.

“No!” Jared responds, scandalized. “Go on a date.”

“Oh, I’m sure they will. I know that Laurie doesn’t just kiss anyone. She’s definitely gonna explore this at the very least, which should give us, um, around 2 hours of free time. I think. It depends.”

“Two hours! I will get so much reading done, gosh.”

“You’re—you’re gonna use your two hours to read? Read what?”

“Oh, I found this lovely book about beekeeping online the other day. It’s quite riveting! But what about you? How are you going to celebrate your freedom?”

Richard blanks. He… didn’t actually think about that. “Oh, I’m not sure. I’ll probably just work on my own stuff, y’know?”

Jared looks at him with those puppy-dog eyes again. He definitely knew what he was doing – it must drive anyone nuts, to be looked at like that. “Do you want to keep this two-person party going? We can read my book together. Or if that doesn’t interest you, maybe we could watch something, Richard. There’s plenty of good TV to catch up on.”

“I… would like that,” Richard responds sheepishly. How could he possibly say no to that?

“Wonderful! We can go to my condo, if you’d like.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”  Richard gives his phone a quick glance. The sound of no new messages was something he could get used to. He walks with Jared to his place, both of them quiet. He wasn’t sure if it was the awkward kind of silence or the normal kind of silence, but it was nice. God knows he needs to get up and exercise more often, and this 10 minute walk is a lot.

By the time they get to his place, Richard is panting. It’s a little embarrassing, but if Jared seems to think so he’s definitely keeping it to himself. As soon as they walk in, Jared goes to the kitchen and hands him a glass of water. Richard accepts it gratefully, and gulps all of it down gracelessly.

Not that Jared minds or cares.

“So this is your thing, huh? You get people water.”

“People in the Valley are often thirsty because they don’t get out of their desks to keep themselves hydrated enough. I just don’t want anyone to faint like I often do.”

Richard wants to ask more, but something tells him that it’s probably something sad and not really any of his business, so he shuts up. He makes himself comfortable on Jared’s sofa and takes a cushion to hug. It’s soft, but firm, he notes. Jared sits down next to him.

“So, what do you want to watch?”