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Pain. All you could feel was pain. Your mind was blurry and unable to remember what caused this so much pain and all you could process right now was that you were laying on the ground staring up to the sky and unable to move your broken body. You hear no one near you alive and it slowly dawned on you the memory of the suicidal act the scouts had just done by Erwin's orders just to give Levi a chance to kill the Beast Titan.
"Levi," you muttered with a pained breath, slowly forcing yourself to sit up to assess the situation. Dead bodies of the former scouts surrounded you with their horses. No one was moving or even asking for help so you surmised you were the only one alive. Pushing your body to stand with a hand holding your broken left arm, you started walking back towards the wall to where you can hear something happening still. The dead eyes of your comrades haunted you but you moved forward, hoping against all odds that the others combating Reiner and Berthold were still alive.
"(Y/N)?!" A shocked voice called out when you got to the gate. You looked up to see Hange coming down with her ODM gear towards you. "You're alive!" she almost cried, you can hear it in her voice, as she hugged you but your yelp of pain made her pull away to realize how beat up your body was. "Can you stand the pain? we can treat you on top of the wall."
"We? Who managed to survive Hange?" you asked as she made you put your good arm around her shoulder and her left arm supporting your waist before flying upwards.
"You'll see," she said quietly and you knew it wasn't a good sign but it still relieved you to see her and others alive with you.
When you got to the top of the wall, Squad Levi and Floch were the only ones remaining. Armin and Sasha were unconscious next to the supplies as the others were resting up and patching up whatever injuries they have
"Captain (Y/N)?!" the young ones exclaimed and your eyes landed on each of them with a weak smile before landing on Levi's shocked ones as he had thought you had died with the others.
"I can't believe I'm so happy to see your faces," You laughed weakly but coughed feeling pain on your chest from your injuries.
"Alright, alright. You can ask her questions after getting her patched up," Hanji said after they crowded and led you near Armin and Sasha and made you sit before getting some first aid.
Levi was quickly on one knee next to you, checking your injuries and if you were really there and alive. His expression was stormy, as if in a stage of disbelief that I was really in front of him and not dead. A myriad of expressions appeared on his face but soon was covered by his usual stoic expression and you didn't get annoyed like usual. You, the remaining senior members, need to look strong for the others because if grief consumes you- who will lead them?
"I don't know before you ask. I just woke up feeling like shit and didn't see any more titans. I'm lucky you guys are still here honestly," you lightly commented to him with a small weak smile. "Are we all that is left?"
Levi gave a curt nod as an answer to your question, then gave you a rundown on what happened since the attack on the Beast Titan. When he finished the part on having chosen Armin instead of Erwin on taking the Colossal Titan he grew quiet but his eyes were asking the silent question 'Do you think I chose the right one?'
Such a question was rooted in the fact that the both of you grew to respect one another through the years of being in the Scouts. And you knew for him to be asking this is for him to be still deeply emotionally affected by the recent events. You reached out to him and gently held one of his hands with your good one without hesitation and said, "Levi, Erwin entrusted the decision to you. And I think you have chosen not on a personal level but for the future of humanity. Besides, I think we both can agree that it was time for him to rest. He had shouldered everything for years now. I'm just sad he isn't able to fulfill his dream but we can do it for him."
Levi clutched on your hand at that, as if your words gave him the strength and reassurance he needed at the moment. He threw his reservation even for just a moment and lifted your intertwined hands and kissed your knuckle, an affectionate gesture rare from him but which you welcomed with a smile.
Even with all the sacrifices, all the grief, you will not lose hope for a better future.
For your former comrades who gave up their lives.
For the truth still uncovered.
And for the man beside you who refused to give up and has dedicated his heart to this.
Even if it was unspoken, you love Levi Ackerman and you will stand by his side continuously forward until your last breath.