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It was awkward. He’d known it was going to be - or, he’d like to pretend that he knew. Somehow he’d expected things to go back to normal immediately, for them to settle into their old (but still familiar) groove and pick up right where they’d left off. ...Maybe not right where they’d left off, now that he thought of it. But he’d thought that they’d talked about it, and now Zach was here, so it was fine. It was fine. Wasn’t it? But neither of them had said much past the awkward ‘hello’s and ‘how’ve you been’s, and Augustin was starting to think that it was maybe not as fine as he’d have hoped. Fuck.
Zachariah was sat at the edge of Augustin’s couch, looking just about ready to bolt at any moment. He looked… surreal. Out of place, like he’d been photoshopped into this space, like if Auggie tried to reach out and touch him he’d realize that he’d never been there at all. Augustin’s hands twitched, the urge to reach out and touch just to prove that he could , that this was real , making him jittery and paranoid. Of course it’s not really him, his brain supplied, ever so helpfully. You ignored him for two years . Even if he was still him - which he isn’t - he wouldn’t want to talk to you. Auggie shook his head sharply, which did nothing but draw a concerned glance from Zachariah, to which he offered a small, shaky smile.
Zach looked pretty much the same. Thinner, though. Tired - resigned, even. He looked like he was another awkward minute of silence away from politely excusing himself and never speaking to Auggie again.
“Um.” Augustin said, realizing at exactly the same moment that he had nothing to follow it up with. “So,” he tried again, desperately searching for anything to talk about. “Uh.”
“Was this a bad idea?” Zach asked, suddenly, sitting up straighter and scaring Auggie half to death in the process. “I mean - maybe we just… don’t click like we used to. Maybe we changed too much.”
Augustin just stared. “Changed?” he managed, his brow furrowing as he immediately went on the defensive. “I haven’t - I haven’t changed! I’m - I’m me . I - I haven’t - I haven’t changed, have I?”
There was a long, soft moment of quiet. Zach huffed out something caught behind a laugh and a sigh. “No,” he muttered, his shoulders slumping back down. He sounded… tired. Defeated. “No, you haven’t. I just - I missed you, you know? A-and it’s stupid, because you were a dick , and I should b- I am mad at you! But I still want - I still can’t make myself leave .”
Augustin blinked. He blinked again. His throat felt unusually tight. “The Egyptian history event is coming back next week,” he blurted out, his voice coming out strained and far too loud. It was a complete non-sequitur, and the mention of the event made Zach flinch. Fuck. The voicemails.
“...Yeah, I don’t th-”
“I missed you too.” Auggie said, just as haphazardly and sudden as his first statement. “A lot. I thought y - I really thought you - I thought that I’d lost you. And I know it was - I didn’t. Lose you. I’m pretty sure, at least - but I don’t… I don’t want to feel like that again? So. If you still want - we can do something not. Alien related. If that’s not -”
“Yeah,” Zach whispered, and there was that familiar fond exasperation coloring his voice. “Yeah, I’d like that. A lot. No - no aliens, though, I don’t think that’d be a good idea.”
“Cool! Cool, cool, yes, er. I’d also like that. A lot.” His fingertips found the hem of his sleeve, and he ran them across the stitching, back and forth. “So! Er. I - did you have anything in mind?”
“Oh,” Zach said, more than a little bit surprised that Augustin had asked. “Oh! Uh… not really. Did you?”
“Well!” Augustin started, far too loudly, sliding his sleeve down to scratch absentmindedly at the inside of his wrist. “Er. There’s a coffee shop I go to a lot? The barista is - he’s trans and he makes good chai, so. Uh. We could - if you wanted! Do you like coffee? They have tea and like - pastry things, I’m pretty sure, if - uh, if you don’t.”
Zach shook his head, another soft laugh escaping him - this one more fond than exasperated, which Auggie chose to count as a win, and also chose to not think too hard about. “That sounds great,” he said, his tone soft and sincere.
Auggie felt something like pride wash over him, warm and validating, and he nodded a couple more times, dropping his hand back into his lap. “So. Um.” he said, very eloquently. “...Bet you I can still beat you at Mario Kart?”
A genuine, surprised laugh left Zach, and he grinned. “ Still ? The only reason you ever won was because you cheated, but - yeah, we should play.”
“I’ve never cheated! I’m just better than you.” Augustin retorted, getting up from the couch to grab the controllers.
Zach just laughed, settling back onto the couch, taking his controller when it was handed to him. Something about it gave him pause. Maybe it was the familiarity, the memories of being right here, holding the controller that they’d somehow deemed his so long ago, Auggie’s apartment still feeling like a second home hitting him. He shifted, turning to look at Augustin. “I’m really glad that we’re - y’know. That we’re working this out. I really have missed you, Augs.”
“Oh! Oh, I!" Auggie felt himself flush, suddenly uncomfortable with all the vulnerability that was going on. “I missed you, too! ...Mostly beating you at Mario Kart, though. Kai’s way too good at it.”
Zach just snorted, shaking his head. “Whatever, dude. Loser pays for takeout.”