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Dean huffs out an amused breath as he notices the small succulent on Baby's dashboard. "You think she needed some sprucing up, huh, Cas?"
Cas looks at the small, green plant. "Eileen talked about what makes a home. Besides the people you love," Cas squeezes Dean's hand that rests on the steering wheel, "she mentioned green plants. And Baby has been your home for so long."
Dean swallows, a sudden warmth blooming in his chest. "She said that, mm? Should've done guerrilla gardening in the Bunker. It's great, Cas, thanks."
They ease into a comfortable silence. The road so far is still wide and open, accessible.
Dean finds a comfortable lull with Baby. He grabs a hold of Cas' hand and revels in the possibility to do just so. Cas' hand is warm, strong and the lines in his palm are starting to feel familiar. The thought is still startling even after all this time - it's just been a few months, he reminds himself - but it's true nonetheless: Cas is intimately known to him.
Most of the trees are heavy with leaves and still green as they pass them in a blur. Now and then a pop of green metal heralds an exit or access to another junction.
They stop at a roadside burger joint around noon. Dean knows Cas is still new to being a human (again) and he's vowed quietly in his mind to never let him go hungry again, nor cold or alone.
He chases away the familiar feeling of guilt and drags forth the notion of gratitude. For all the years that his heart has fucking ached for Cas, he has him now. What's gold can stay.
"I'll go with the bacon burger, fries on the side I think. Cas, what are you having?"
Cas still has his nose to the menu as he studies the options with care. A smile pulls at Dean's lips, fuck, he's smiled more these last weeks than he's done in years before. He loves that about Cas - that he takes care and really savors being human. "You find anything that pings your interest, Cas?"
Cas looks up then, and his eyes narrow as he looks at Dean, a serious expression on his face. "There are so many options, and the process of tasting and knowing what I'll like, it takes some time "
Dean grins and pats his hand. "We have all the time in the world."
After another five minutes, Dean is starving. His stomach has growled loudly twice; he takes back what he said about having all the time in the world. "How's it going, Cas?"
"Good."
Dean rolls his eyes, but there's a fond expression on his face. "I meant the food. Though choices?"
"Is it really necessary to have this many burger options?"
"I didn't hear that, Cas."
Cas nods. "I think I decided. I'll go with the Green Delight and jalapeno poppers, and water."
After the waiter arrives and takes their orders, Dean shakes his head. "I'm not gonna say anything."
Cas looks at him and arches his eyebrow as he sips on his water. "Alright."
A few seconds pass before Dean bursts out. "There's nothing delightful about a burger made of beans, Cas. I can't believe you didn't wanna try a real burger."
"It said veggie burger and I took some poppers."
Dean crosses his arms. "All lies, Cas, there's no burger in a veggie burger. And there's no meat in the jalapeno poppers either."
"I'll try another burger next time." Cas nods solemnly like this is an important promise he'll honor no matter what.
Dean loves him so much. "I love you."
Cas' face lits up. "I love you too."
Still, icy fear pokes its head up but Dean pushes it down fiercely. Cas loves him. The Empty is asleep. He'll not lose him again.
Burgers finished, they hit the road again. Dean flips to the classical station.
"Sibelius, symphonie Nr. 5," Cas remarks.
Dean nods and listens to the strings. Not a mile later Cas is fast asleep, his head tilting to the side. Dean props him up so his neck won't ache when he comes to later.
Two hours later Cas still sleeps. His mouth is slightly ajar, and he snores softly.
Still Cas, still beautiful.
Dean pokes him. "Hey, Cas, wake up."
Cas wakes up slowly. "Are we there?"
"Nope, one hour or so left. But enough beauty sleep, you'll need to be able to sleep tonight too."
Cas yawns once. "I don't remember sleep being this important to humans the last time I was one."
Dean scoffs. "I've been human almost my entire life, and I still forget most of the time."
“You're getting better, though."
Dean grins. "Easier to stay in bed, when you're there with me."
"The decreased frequency of apocalypses threatening the planet and all life might be a factor too."
Dean wrinkles his forehead in thought. “Yeah, that too. Man, seven or eight hours of sleep every freaking night. I feel like a new person when I wake up."
Cas grins. "Less angry like a bear."
Dean laughs. "Shut up. I still need my coffee."
“That you do.”
Finally, the road under Baby shifts from smooth asphalt to a smaller road, still paved but one where the trees bend down over them, as if upset that this mechanic monstrosity threatens their quiet solitude.
A few turns later and Baby rumbles softly as the last remnant of civilization disappear. The road is gravel and hard dirt, not even the trees object to the intrusion of a rumbling engine. Ancient they stand with roots deep into the ground, mute in horror at this unthinkable intrusion.
They pull up to the house, more of a simple two-story cottage really, with a wrap-around porch. Although the porch seems more to sag than wrap around the house.
Dean kills the engine and closes the door. The ground beneath his boots is soft, pine needles and cones. He glances at Cas over the roof of Baby.
Cas has his attention on the surrounding woods. Darkness hasn't settled yet but clouds hang on the horizon, with the promise of rain.
He walks up to Cas. “Want me to carry you over the threshold or something, Cas?”
Cas turns to face Dean, stoic. “Alright.”
Dean turns serious. “Wait, what? Really?”
Cas shrugs. “Don't we love each other?”
Dean would never tire of Cas uttering those words. “Yeah, of course we do, Cas.”
“And I presume the intention is that we're to be together until death do us part?”
“Reapers can try – “
Cas arches an eyebrow. “Dean – “
Dean raises his hands. “Yeah, fine, I know. No deals, or weird spells. We pinkie promised.”
Cas huffs out a breath, as if the very memory was offending. “We did. I don't think that's a traditional human custom though. But until death do us part. So we're practically married.”
Dean grins and punches Cas on the shoulder. “Mr. and Mr. Winchester.”
“So, I'll carry you across the threshold.”
“I don't really think – “ Dean's cut off as Cas hoists him up in his arms.
“You're solidly build,” Cas murmurs approvingly.
“Had to save your angel ass a couple of times. It builds character and strength or some bullshit like that.”
“Most of that is bullshit, “ Cas agrees.
So it happens, that Dean Winchester is carried across the threshold. Cas kisses him softly as they stand inside the cottage. He murmurs. “Welcome home, Dean,” before letting him get down.
“Not to get too sappy,” Dean begins, “but you know, Cas... I was always home when you were around. You were my home, even when I was too afraid to acknowledge it. I was such an idiot.”
“That's not going to change,” Cas deadpans.
Dean chews on his lip. “What? That we are each others homes?”
There's a light in Cas' blue eyes, a spark that wasn't there before all this, before they spoke freely of their feelings, before they acknowledging this fire between them that had always been born out of love, Dean realizes, even when it came out as anger and pain.
“No, that you're an idiot.”
Dean huffs. “I thought I was love and all that jazz.”
“A lovable idiot then.”
Cas laughs at Dean's expression.
“Lucky I love you, Cas. Just saying.” The hallway is small and immediately to the left is the kitchen with a decent-sized oven and stove that's three decades old, at least by the look of it. The fridge sounds like it's dying.
Cas keeps walking.
“I was thinking we can sand the floorboards, quality is fine and it doesn't look like any insects have nibbled on them,” he shouts out. He walks across the hallway to the other room where Cas is.
Cas slides his fingers over the coarse wooden walls. “Maybe we can do some vertical paneling here, and redo the front door. It's about to fall of its hinges anyway.”
Dean smiles. Jesus, his cheeks are gonna ache tomorrow. “I like that. Anything particular in mind, Cas?”
“I've always liked the barn door look.”
Dean grabs Cas' hand and kisses his knuckles. “Nostalgic are we?”
“That meeting, us meeting in that barn changed everything. Not only for us but for the world. I'd think that would be a nice homage to our beginnings.”
Dean plays with Cas' hoodie. “Technically, we met in hell.”
Cas points to the fireplace. “There is our fire. I hardly think burning down the house is a great idea.”
“Imagine how easy it would be to decorate though.”
Cas smiles. “Let's go grab our things.”
After unloading their bags upstairs in the bedroom and dumping their toiletry in the bathroom, Dean huffs as he carries one of the gifts from Eileen and Sam. “I don't understand why they had to give us this now.”
Cas looks at the green plant that towers almost as tall as Dean. The huge leaves are dark green, with lighter, almost yellowish spots. “Green plants make a home, “ Cas muses.
“This monstrosity is more than a green plant. And emphasis on the home part, Cas. We're not moving into a freaking greenhouse.” Dean huffs as he places the green plant in the corner. “God, this is worse than hunting. My back is killing me.”
Cas walks over to Dean and places his hands on his shoulders. He squeezes hard, rubbing across hard muscles.
“My back should kill me more often.”
Cas' kiss ghosts over his neck. “You know, you can just ask, Dean.”
Dean stills for a second, then nods. “I know, Cas. It's just... this will take a while to get used to. Don't get me wrong, I fucking love this,” he turns to face Cas, “I fucking love you but I haven't been with anyone in a long time and – “ Dean hesitates.
“I know it can be hard to ask for things. But you do deserve them, Dean. Even if it's such a simple thing as a back rub.”
“I do deserve back rubs.”
Cas smiles. “You do.”
“And fucking good coffee in the mornings.”
“You have that already.”
Dean hums, a smile on his lips. “I do deserve a pie every Saturday.”
Cas leans in, kissing his jaw. “I think that's pushing it.”
“Pff, no.” Dean sighs against Cas' lips on him. It's funny how Cas' kisses are already such a familiar feeling, yet every time his mouth is on Dean's skin, Dean is surprised by the sheer intensity of it. Each kiss is like a shooting star; the brightness of it a known thing yet each arrival a pleasant surprise.
Dean's jaw cracks as he yawns. “I don't know about you but I think we should hit the bag.”
Cas leaves one last hot kiss on his mouth. “I agree. I don't understand how I can be tired when we've just been driving for the bigger part of the day but – “
“And you even took a nap. Being human can be exhausting though, so I don't blame you.”
“Mm, but quiet exhilarating too.”
They change clothes in the bedroom.
Dean dons a pair of soft PJ-pants and a well-worn, green Henley. He looks at Cas as he pulls a black Henley on. “You know, I've fantasized for ages seeing you in a Henley.”
Cas quirks an eyebrow. “Most fantasize of people being naked .”
“Most people haven't seen you wearing a trench coat for the better part of a decade.”
“It was good quality.”
Dean laughs. “And who says I haven't fantasized of you being naked too.” Dean grabs the mattress and plugs in the pump. He takes one sleeping bag, opens it up and places it on top of the mattress. “First thing tomorrow, we go and buy a good mattress and bed. My back misses memory foam already.”
Dean lays down but sees Cas fiddle with his duffle bag. “What's up?”
“Oh, nothing.” Cas walks to the bed but Dean knows that something is up. “Why are you trying not to smile?”
“Nothing gets by you. Happy Birthday, Dean.” Cas hands Dean a small, white paper bag.
Dean takes it. “You shouldn't have, Cas. I have all I need.”
“Just open it.”
Dean pulls out a square package and unwraps it. “The Rice Krispies.”
A concerned look flies over Cas' face. “I think they got a little smushed.”
Dean leans out over the air mattress and takes a big bite. “Mm, 's alright, still tastes good.”
“Happy birthday, Dean.” The mattress dips down as Cas lays down next to Dean.
Taking another bite, Dean chews happily. “Man, Rice Krispies. So fucking good. Mrs. Butters doesn't know what she missed.”
Finished with the piece, Dean grabs the other sleeping bag and places it over them as a cover. He feels Cas' arm snake around his waist.
They allow silence to take hold for a few moments.
“Do you like rocking chairs, Cas?”
Cas hums. “Rocking chairs?”
“Yeah.”
Dean can feel the movement as Cas shrugs against his back.
He turns to face him. “Tell me. If you want.”
The moon is out. It leaves enough light to illuminate parts of Cas' face, leaving other parts in shadow. It gives him an otherworldly look, more so than when he was an angel.
Dean clears his throat. “Just a fantasy, daydream really. From when I thought all this would amount to nothing but a dream, just pain and... loss, losing you all the time.”
Cas pulls him close into a hug.
“So, yeah, I used to picture you sitting in a rocking chair, old, modern, didn't really matter. And you sat and read books. Not because we needed to for a case, but because you wanted to. And I was there to, next to you. Rocking chair with a pillow, because of my back.
And we'd just sit there in silence, reading our books. But it would be a good silence, you know. A comfortable silence. And I'd reach out and grab your hand now and then, sliding a finger over your palm just to make sure you were there. And then we'd just read.” His voice trails off. “So I was thinking...”
“A library and a rocking chair?”
“Yeah.”
Cas kisses him. “It sounds lovely, Dean.” There's a pause. “Dean... Stick your hand in the paper bag, please.”
“Think I need more sweets? Don't worry, Cas, I got sugar right next to me.” When Cas doesn't smile back, Dean stops. He sees Cas' gaze flickering, his mouth that tightens infinitesimally. If he didn't know any better, he'd guess that Cas is nervous.
He feels his pulse ratchet up. If Cas is nervous, Dean is nervous.
He grabs the paper bag and sticks his hand in the back. There, at the bottom, he feels something heavy. Dean's mouth feels dry as he recognizes the shape. Grabbing the bag, he pulls the content out in his palm.
Two tungsten rings inlaid with a soft satin finish.
Dean swallows. His heart beats fast and echoes wildly in his head. He turns one ring slowly and sees an elegant inscription inside. Castiel – profoundly loved. The other ring shares a similar inscription. Dean – profoundly loved.
Dean looks at Cas.
Cas licks his lips. “I understand if you don't want to. It's a human costume, a traditional one, and we're far from traditional. You being a hunter and me being a former angel and we haven't had... this together for – “
“Cas. Stop talking.”
Cas stops.
Dean pulls him in, grabs Cas' face and kisses him. It's not a kiss that builds. No, it's a kiss that's already there; wild in its crescendo and fierce in its expression. There is no need to claim what's already his.
After an eternity, their lips part reluctantly, like galaxies caught in orbit, where neither can let go.
Wiping his mouth, Dean grins. “If you need me to say it too. You had me from the very beginning, you had me at hello, Cas Winchester.”
Cas smiles, his eyes blue like the sky. “I got that reference.”
Dean just laughs and kisses him again.