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He had no right to be this angry, Vincent thought, as he watched Diedrich dance with some pretty young countess or baroness, and he had no idea why he felt this way. He’d seen Diedrich dance with women before. It was not as though Vincent didn’t behave in the same way before his marriage, even though he and Diedrich were lovers. It would have been unbecoming of an earl to go to balls and never dance with a single woman. Indeed, Vincent had even gone farther with some of the women (and still did) when a particular case called for it. Diedrich, Vincent knew, was far too noble to do that. So, Vincent had no right to want to investigate every aspect of this woman’s life until he found something that would make her ineligible for a baron to court, manufacturing something if necessary. And yet...
“He’s not going to be yours forever, you know.”
Vincent glanced sideways at his sister, who had just come up to him. He took the champagne glass she held out. “Pardon?”
“Diedrich.” Francis sighed.
Vincent looked back at her innocently. “On the contrary, Francis. Diedrich won’t leave my service until I tell him to, and I won’t tell him to, so...”
“True, but that doesn’t mean he’ll continue all of his current duties.”
Despite his thunderous mood, Vincent had to smirk. This was probably the closest his prim and proper sister would come to discussing sex in public. “And why not?” Vincent knew he sounded petulant.
“Because eventually he’ll need to get married.”
Well, that was nothing new. “I’m married.”
“You don’t have his sense of honor.”
It was true, Vincent reflected. Diedrich was the more noble of the two men. When he married (and he would doubtless need to, if only to produce an heir), regardless of whether he loved his wife, Diedrich would be a good husband. He would be as dutiful in that area as he was in all others. Vincent didn’t know if even he could convince Diedrich to forsake his marital vows. Perhaps that was the cause of his sudden ire.
Yet, even when they began their relationship, Vincent had known Diedrich would need to get married one day. It was just a fact of life. Men in their position needed to continue the blood line, and that meant marriage. Surely in some part of his brain Vincent had realized that this could mean an end to his and Diedrich’s relationship. After all, Diedrich felt guilty enough now, and Rachel wasn’t even Diedrich’s wife. Vincent briefly wondered if this was how Diedrich felt seeing him with Rachel, but somehow, he doubted it. His lover was infinitely kinder than that. If Diedrich felt jealousy, and Vincent supposed he must, it wouldn’t be tainted with the virulent hatred that Vincent found himself feeling toward a woman he didn’t even know.
The dance had come to an end, and instead of moving on to another partner or going to fetch a drink, Diedrich was leading his partner off to the side where they could talk.
Francis patted him on the shoulder. “You have to let him go.” She advised, and walked off.
He felt a stab of annoyance at this. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what that would mean. She made friends, actual friends, easily. She never had to sacrifice them for the queen. Vincent, on the other hand, could usually woo anyone he wanted to his side, make them devoted to him...but they were always, by necessity, pawns. Diedrich was the one exception. The one from which Vincent hadn’t been able to distance himself. Diedrich had been his since their school days. Vincent had won him fair...well, not so fair, but nevertheless. He’d been the one to stay by Vincent’s side no matter what. There was nothing so low or so dangerous that it would scare Diedrich off. Even when Vincent had offered Diedrich his freedom after Diedrich had suffered greatly in one of Vincent’s pursuits, Diedrich had stayed with him. The idea of giving his loyal German dog up was anathema.
Diedrich was now laughing at something the woman had said, and it wasn’t a forced laugh, done for the sake of politeness either. As Vincent’s stomach clenched at this, he realized what was bothering him. The Queen’s Watchdog wasn’t used to feeling guilt. It wasn’t an asset, and it could lead to him making a decision that led to countless deaths. But he felt it now. He thought, not for the first time, that Diedrich deserved much better than him. It wasn’t seeing Diedrich with someone else. It wasn’t that Diedrich would one day marry or even the possibility that he would break things off with Vincent. It was the thought that Diedrich would be happy, maybe even happier, with someone else.