Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

To say the four girls were bored, was an understatement. With James having left early that morning with little better than cryptic reasoning, that left the four girls to come up with a plan for the day without him - and it seemed nothing was coming to them.

“I’m bored,” Erin groaned, and Michelle fixed her with a fierce glare, lips thin.

“Well done, Erin,” she snapped, throwing her hands to the sky “you’re a genius. What’s next, the sky is blue?” The girl crumpled under Michelle’s gaze, as Clare raised her hand, eliciting a roll of Michelle’s eyes, and a raised eyebrow.

“It’s not school Clare,” Michelle said “you can speak.” The Rubenesque girl started, before continuing, miffed.

“Well, what about going to your room,” Clare said, and added “I mean, that’s at least something! Better than- better than staying here! It’s a free house, after all.” Orla nodded sagely, and wagged her finger at Clare.

“I still say we should’ve gone to my house,” the brunette said, sticking her bottom lip out, and tugging at it curiously “my mam’s not home either.” Michelle sat up straight, gazing at the girl in confusion.

“Orla- you and Erin live at the same house,” Michelle said, and the girl didn’t respond, and so Michelle added “her parent’s would be home. So, we wouldn’t be alone, Orla.” Orla understood and shrugged, and with a sigh, Michelle stood up.

“There’s nothing in my room,” Michelle muttered, looking out the window at the McCormick neighbours run past, screeching “little shits. ‘Nyway, there isn’t anything in my room. Parents stripped it of everything after findin’ fags in my room.” Orla held her hand out, and Michelle preemptively rolled her eyes.

“No, Orla, we aren’t going to your house-“

“What about James’ room,” she said. Michelle perked up, giving a rare smile, while Clare looked aghast, and Erin continued to ponder, what was Dee doing?

“No- we can’t,” Clare said, jumping up as if she was shocked out of her seat “Michelle, it’s James’ room!” Michelle shrugged, and Erin rose too, looking just as bored as before. Michelle cocked her head as the four of them approached the stairs.

“Michelle!”“Look, Agatha fuckin’ Christie, I know it’s James’ room,” Michelle said, planting one foot on the first step with glee “we might not even be able to get in the room, since he’s always lockin’ it before he goes. He’s always proper arsey about his room, so this could be fun!” Clare was silenced for a moment, and Michelle took the opportunity to bolt up the stairs, followed by the three girls, Clare bringing up the rear with a thunderous look.

“Locked.”

Erin kissed her teeth and leant against the banister, frowning, and wondering, what was Dee doing? - Orla however, wouldn’t take something as simple as this blocking the fun for the day. She procured a hair clip from her mane, and bent it out of shape, before crouching at the keyhole and beginning to fiddle with it, lip bit in conversation.

“Since when can you pick locks, ay,” Erin asked, looking at the girl suspiciously, and the brunette shrugged as a click was heard, and the door handle eased in Michelle’s grip.

“Your diary is fun to read, and you always lock your door,” Orla shrugged, and Erin looked like she had swallowed a lemon whole, before they were walking into James’ room with trepidation, like they were about to unveil a secret that they shouldn’t be…

….the secret, it turned out, was a room that had some Doctor Who stuff on the walls, and besides that, was devoid of anything of interest. Immediately, they all deflated, and Orla was the only one who got to work, falling to her hands and knees and sorting through whatever was under James’ bed. Clare leaned against the door, crossing her arms defiantly, while Michelle and Erin sat on the bed, avoiding Orla’s flailing legs.

“I don’t know why he was being so fuckin’ bitchy about things,” Michelle muttered, giving the look a disgusted expression, with one sweeping look “I know he’s a fuckin’ weirdo, why hide all this-“ she knocked an Doctor Who figurine from the bedside table “-behind a locked door.”

“Oh, I don’t know, Michelle,” Clare said with a humourless laugh “maybe he was scared of you breaking in. Which he was right about!” She gestured to the three girls, one of which was scattering books, shoes and whatever else askew underneath the bed.

“Oh, pipe down Clare,” Michelle snapped, scowling at the girl “I mean, aren’t you curious, too? He could be doing damn near anythin’ in here- he could be the Pablo Escobar of Derry, and we wouldn’t know since he’s fuckin’ blown us off for whatever the fuck!” Michelle looked sullen for a split second, and Clare’s eyes widened.

“Michelle, are you- sad that James is hangin’ out with us as much anymore,” Clare asked, and Michelle looked alarmed…before she sagged, and crossed her arms, angrier that Clare had seen her than at James.

“Well, yeah! I mean, it isn’t the same is it,” Michelle said, and when she saw the look Erin was giving her, she dismissed her words with a wave “I mean, I don’t miss miss him. It’s just…the group’s weird without him, y’know?” Clare nodded, when Orla spoke from beneath the bed.

“I found somethin’,” she said, and Michelle shrugged.
“It’s probably some fuckin’ Doctor Who sex toy,” she said, and Oral slid out from underneath the bed, hair tangled with dust bunnies to which she paid no mind. She brought with her a plastic bag, containing a leather bag, zipped shut, with a note saying ‘DON’T TOUCH MICHELLE’ on it. Michelle tutted, and crumpled the paper up and threw it away.

“Good advice,” she said “don’t touch me. Now here…” she snatched the bag from Orla, who was now fighting the dust bunnies valiantly. With a deep breath, and Clare muttering misgivings, she zipped the bag open, heart pounding…

“What the fuck?”

There were several items of escalating alarm in there. The first, was a polaroid camera. Whenever James got one of those, Michelle demanded to know. She hadn’t seen him use it - hell, she didn’t even know he had one, or how he could afford one! She examined it, a bit too carelessly, before Clare snatched it from her with a leer.
“Michelle, if you break it, I squeal,” she said, and Michelle stamped her foot angrily.

“I liked it better when you were easier to scare. Tellin’ everyone you were a wee dyke made you too brave,” Michelle said, and allowed her to have it, before Orla pulled from the bag’s depths, two items that made them all, particularly Michelle, feel faint.

A bottle of lube, and a condom.

“Trojan magnum- ah, Jesus, I didn’t need to know that!” None of the girls wanted to be the one to examine the items, so they immediately tossed them back in the bag, Michelle in particular shivering. She gave the girls a sickened look, before looking curiously at what looked like a pile of papers.

“What’re they?” Orla pulled them from the bag and saw that they weren’t just piles of papers, but polaroids of James - James and…

“David Donnelly,” Erin asked, before adding “not that I’d care, because I have Dee, but-“

“Oh my- girls, look.” Clare, previous objections forgotten, thrust some of them to Michelle, and some to Erin, whereas Orla was still rooting through the bag which was well and truly empty. Michelle felt faint, but forced herself to look at them, and felt like the air had vanished from her lungs.

They weren’t explicit, nor graphic - but they were James at his most vulnerable, with David. One polaroid of them laughing together, and one of them with David sat in this very room, pulling a funny face. Another was of James resting his head on David’s chest, the other’s hand tangled in his hair. Another of David sitting at a riverbank, the cuffs of his jeans rolled up to his knees, with him laughing to the camera, his feet resting in the water. Michelle blinked a few times, unsure, before Erin began to speak tentatively.

“Is James ga-“

A bang. The unmistakable sound of a door slamming, followed by the clatter of keys, and heavy footsteps, that were fast approaching the FUCKING STAIRS! Michelle looked to the other girls in alarm, before she was stuffing the items back in the leather bag, which she threw underneath the bed with a loud bang. The girls looked at each other in alarm - before they scattered.

James burst into the room, not curious as to why his locked door was now open for him - he was more focused on the boy who’s hand he was holding, who he dragged in, and began to kiss. David’s hands fell to James’s waist, and the British boy moaned into the kiss, as David fell to the bed, lying on his back as James straddled him with a hungry grin.

“You sure Michelle or whoever won’t be back soon,” David asked and James shook his head as he moved to pull David’s shirt off, breathing coming out in heavy pants.

“No, they said they were planning to go to town,” James said. James pulled his own shirt off, and David moved his hands down to grope his ass, which elicited a chuckle from the curly haired boy. As the pair continued to kiss and feel one another up, they were unaware of the four girls hiding throughout the room - one under the bed, one in the closet, one hiding behind the door, and one behind the curtain.

Michelle, from underneath the bed, caught Erin’s eye as the blonde peeked from behind the curtain, and mouthed ‘GET THE FUCK BACK BEHIND THE CURTAIN!’, and Erin was more than happy to oblige. They stayed like that for some time, faces burning as James and David went at it, before they heard something that made their stomachs sink.

“D’you have my condoms? Cause I want to fuck you so bad,” David groaned, and added in a huskier voice “fuck, you gonna call me the thing you did last time again?” Michelle had to cover her mouth to prevent her gasp being heard, before James began to speak.

“Oh, you know what I’m gonna call you, Mr. Big Di-“

“STOP!”

Michelle screeched; she couldn’t listen anymore. As if things couldn’t get any worse, as Michelle felt herself being pulled out from under the bed by an incensed James and a blushing David, Orla swung the closet door open, looking disappointed.

“Why couldn’t you wait until after the fun bit,” she said, and as Michelle’s stomach began to knot, Erin and Clare then revealed their hiding places. James looked aghast, then angered - before Michelle extended her hand to David with a bashful grin, as the other boy pulled his shirt back on.

“I’m Michelle, I don’t think we’ve met,” she said, and James groaned.

“Oh, Jesus, fuck.”

Chapter Text

Erin had only ever been yelled at a handful of times in her life. Mostly when she was young, but when she hit the threshold of twelve, it was a swift strike across the back of her legs with a wooden spoon that straightened her out if she’d ever defied her mother (her dear father would have just relegated to her mother, anyway). But getting yelled at? Aye, she had only known the fear of that when she was young, but not as an adult— a woman.

But here she was, getting yelled at by James.

Yelled at is a strong word.

Even then, it wasn’t exactly heart stopping.

More like…surprising he could even raise his voice.

“At any point,” James said, pacing from the door to the window, the girls splayed across the sitting room, with Claire sitting on the couch, legs pressed together as though she truly quaked in the presence of James, while Orla had claimed an armchair for herself, “did it not occur to you- to- to let yourselves be known?!”

“We did,” Erin said, catching David’s eye and looking away immediately, unable to scrub away the image of David pulling James into his lap without shuddering, “we just- didn’t do it immediately.”

“And I don’t see the big problem,” Michelle said, rolling her eyes.

“It’s a massive invasion of privacy is what it is Michelle,” James said, glowering at his cousin, “I wouldn’t want to know if you were- you know, being with a guy!”

“Aye, and too right,” Michelle said, “wouldn’t bloody tell you.”

“I don’t want to know Michelle,” James said, “that’s my point- I like to keep my private things, well- private!”

“Don’t see how, since you were moaning so loud, they could hear you in fuckin’ Timbuktu James!” Michelle stood up and peered through the curtains, before dropping back into a slouch beside Claire, “ma’s not back. Don’t need her getting involved in this fuckin’- intervention!”

While James and Michelle went back and forth on the topic of whether James is deserving of a human right such as privacy, Erin turned to David, and said, “when did you realise you liked- fellas?”

David pursed his lips and drummed his fingers together, staring at the floor as a pale pink covered his cheeks. “I- uh, s’pose I was twelve.”

Erin sat up, looking all the happier. “Oh, right! So- you didn’t like me because I was a girl, not because I was rotten or anythin’- oh, that’s fantastic!”

“Erin, I actually like boys and g-“

“Glad to have that off my chest,” Erin smiled, turning to the rest of them. Michelle and James finished their spat, and dropped into their respective seats. James sat in the chair David rested on, and while nobody else caught it, Claire couldn’t ignore the way their hands intertwined and they stole a smile from one another. As the dust settled, the portly girl piped up, in a soft voice.

“When did this-“ she gestured to their interlocked hands, which quickly became unlocked, “-y’know- happen?”

James was the first to speak, and his face was a brilliant red, but his face was split into a smile. “At, uh, one of Jenny Joyce’s parties.”

“Of fuckin’ course you’d-“

“Michelle!” Claire interrupted her, and then nodded back at the boys. They were looking at each other, and Claire couldn’t ignore the way their eyes were alight with laughter and a brightness James had been robbed of since his mum had made her feelings clear months before; it was a look she did not have herself yet, but every person wanted and needed.

“Right- so, it was at one of her parties,” James said, and then added, “which Michelle went to, as well by the way!”

“It wasn’t my choice!”

“MICHELLE!” The five of them all joined together in one yell, that cowed the girl for now; James rolled his eyes and continued, “and we got to talking. And then- and then whenever he wanted to write some music for his band-”“By the way, about that-“ David said, and clapped his hands together, “we’re actually playing on Saturday in Brannigan’s. If-“

“He’s makin’ a fuckin’ sales pitch.”

David continued on past Michelle’s interruption. “If ye want to come, that’d be great.” As soon as he finished, James chuckled into his hand, and he felt no shame in snaking his arm up David’s thigh to join their hands in plain view of the girls.

“-yeah, and then- and then I’d help him write songs. Or at least, make it sound better.”

“Sound better? You’re havin’ a laugh,” David said, raising his eyebrows, “you haven’t done shite for my band. You’re just the eye candy.”

“Rotten candy.”

James gave Michelle a look, but didn’t say anything. After a moment of tremulous silence, he responded to David with, “yeah, well, if it was up to you, your band would be saying ‘lovin’ you’, instead of ‘love what you do’, and being three beats behind.”

“I love what you do, anyhow,” David said, and Michelle made a retching noise in the background.

“Half your band’s success is down to me, really, isn’t it,” James said, looking away, his smile so wide it looked like it ached.

Before David could respond, Orla piped up. “David, did your band write White Rabbit?”

David’s eyebrows furrowed, and said slowly, “eh— no, Orla, that’s- Jefferson Airplane.”

“My mistake,” she said, and went back to nibbling her nails.

“I’m not hearing you say I’m wrong,” James said pointedly, cocking his head to catch David’s eye with a wry smile, and that was all it took before they both dissolved into laughter, into jokes only they understood. Erin smoothed out her skirt, before standing up, swinging her arms.

“Well— you know, it’s been lovely here, but I’m afraid I’ve got to go—“ she nodded and swept the room, before averting her eyes from James and David, and made her way to the door. However, James caught her hand, and she snapped back, eyes wide.

“Erin— all of you—“ he turned to them, unsure, before adding in a quiet voice, “you’re not— you’re not uncomfortable are you?” All of them reacted in varying degrees.

Claire leaned forward, dismissing those words with a wave of her hand, and said, “James— I’m on your team— well, y’know not team, per se, but we support the same club, if you get what I mean. Gays, lesbians— well, lesbians are gay, but gay women and gay men, y’know, and— you know what I mean!”

Erin sat down, her neck disappearing into a marvellous display of chins. “What?! No- no, I couldn’t- I’d love you if you were- were gay, or straight, or lesbian-“ Claire gave her a strange look, “or whatever, it’s just- you being the first of us to- you know.”

“What’s that mean?”

Orla volunteered herself to speak. “You don’t look like the kind to have sex,” Orla said plainly, “not bein’ rude, you’re just a bit sexless, aren’t you?”

“What she said,” Michelle said, gesturing to Orla, “and besides that, you’re just— you’re my cousin, I don’t want to imagine anythin’ goin’ inside you!”

“MICHELLE, JESUS!”

“Well, what?! You can’t expect me to believe he’s the one takin’ it from you?!”

“She’s kinda right,” David muttered in James’ ear, and the curly haired brunette slapped David’s wrist.

“Told you I was right!” Michelle yelled, and the door swung open.

Deirdre looked around the living room. “Who’s right about what?”

Chapter Text

Valentine’s Day had come with all the subtlety of a runaway locomotive that was on fire, as far as Erin was concerned. Of course, it was an all girls school. And of course, she had *Dee.* But the boys school was nearby, and Jesus, she wanted a valentine! Was it so bad?

Instead, she got to hear Michelle rant about an infamous, never proven, rumour that the lads snuck into the girls school to leave notes for the girls they liked. But that was just it - a rumour.

“Michelle, be realistic. Why would Sister Michael allow that?” Erin asked, turning to her friend. “This is Sister Michael we’re talking about!”

“Right! I saw her *break a man’s leg once!”* Claire whispered, round face contorted into a look of fear.

“I remember that! That was cracker, so it was. Pity, she wouldn’t let me keep a bone fragment.” Orla said, frowning as she guzzled down a pack of crisps.

“Orla, first of all, you’re fucked. Claire, second of all, that was a dummy-“

“Sister Michael’s able to break a *dummy’s leg!”*

“I’ll break your fucking leg in a second if you keep yapping on.” Michelle snapped. “And lastly, Erin, did I ever mentioned that *Sister Michael knew?* Catch yourself on!”

Erin frowned, but didn’t respond. She’d believe it when she saw it. Of course, she was already preemptively used to hearing and reading declarations of love - if she was to be a famous author, she needed to become used to feverish love letters. She just didn’t want to end up like that Bjork woman.

“Has anyone seen James? I swear, he keeps fucking disappearing.” Michelle said, and turned around in a circle. “FANNY FEATURES! WHERE ARE YOU!”

“Oh, he disappeared! Like a magician?” Orla asked, breaking into a smile and being distracted enough to not finish the half eaten crisp she had. Michelle looked at her and narrowed her eyes.

“No, Orla. Like an English prick in the North. My ma’s going to fuckin’ KILL ME if he dies on my watch!” Michelle said. “Christ, now we have to fucking find him!”

“He’s been doing that a lot, you know? Disappearing, not talking to us. It’s unnerving to not have him around.” Claire said. Michelle nodded, sagely.

“I know. I have no outlet for my fuckin’ rage now.” Michelle said. “BALL ACHE, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?!”

“That’s not what I meant, Michelle.” Claire said.

“I don’t care.” Michelle said. “Christ, let’s try Dennis’s.”

*

Valentine’s Day came with all the excitement of a flaming pyre. Girls were running around screeching, enough that Michelle turned around and told most of them to shut the fuck up. She maintained it was because they were annoying, *not* because she didn’t get a valentine, but Erin no better.

It seemed none of them did, except for Claire, who was very intent on refusing to tell the girls. (“The last thing I need is them getting scared off by you maniacs! It’s impossible being your friends!”)

James, once again, was being aloof about whether he got a valentine. Of course, none of the girls thought he would. But when they asked him, he looked at them in alarm and jumped, and covered his bag suddenly.

“Michelle, Jesus, give me some bloody warning!” James exclaimed. “You’re like a fucking foghorn!”

“I’ll have you know, I have the voice of a fuckin’ angel ball bag! Now, did you get a Valentine?” She asked, popping a hip out and placing a hand on it. “Well?”

“It’s none of your business.” James said.

“Well, actually, here’s the thing James. It is.” Michelle said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t need to answer anyway, we know you didn’t.”

“Right.” James said.

Michelle paused, before grabbing James’s bag. “Answer me!”

“I thought I didn’t need to answer?” James asked, grabbing the other end and tugging it back, managing to overpower his cousin. Michelle looked at Orla, and jerked her head to her English cousin.

“Orla, help me out here!” She snapped. Orla crossed her arms.

“What’s in it for me? I’m a pacific.”

“Pacifist, Orla.”

“I’m not from Polynesia, thank you very much. If I was, I’d have a CRACKER tan, though.” Orla said. Michelle looked between Erin and Orla and screamed at them.

“WOULD ONE OF YOU FUCKING EEJITS HELP ME? OTHERWISE JAMES WINS! WHAT WOULD THAT SAY FOR FEMINISM?!” Michelle demanded, and Orla raised her eyebrows. “Fine! Orla, I’ll buy you a bag of crisps if you fucking HELP ME!”

Orla didn’t need telling otherwise, and promptly walked over and tugged James bag. The sudden lurch caused the Englishman to drop the bag on the floor and both him and Michelle dove for it. Erin watched in abject horror - Claire started screaming about the animalistic nature of humanity - Orla was listing out her favourite crisp flavours that Michelle could choose from.

However, James eventually grabbed something from the bag and ripped it. The girls watched in shock as he wrangled the paper, glitter covering his fingers and words becoming unrecognisable symbols, before he chucked it into a bin. Michelle stared at him, still holding his bag, before holding it up.

“You DICKHEAD, you did get a Valentine!” She exclaimed. “Since when did Helen Keller start coming to our school?”

“Maybe I did Michelle, but that’s MY business, not YOURS!” James said. “YOU didn’t get a Valentine either!”

“I’m living a life of celibacy! I put out a fucking notice that I didn’t want any Valentines today.” Michelle said, turning her nose up at her cousin. Claire raised a hand.

“Claire, we’re not in CLASS. Just SPEAK.”

“Sorry. But…girls, can’t we just…LET James have his privacy? I mean, you wouldn’t want him going through your stuff, would you?” Claire asked.

“Claire, valuable lesson. Women come first in my life, so James’ privacy is NOTHING compared to my entertainment. How bad of a lesbian are you to take a man’s side?” Michelle asked, before striding up to James. “Who was your Valentine, dickhead?”

“None of your business, Michelle.” James said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go!”

And with that, he turned around and stormed away. All the girls watched him go, with Claire having a minute smile on her face while she did. Michelle had a calm demeanour, before kicking a locker and holding her foot.

“BASTARDING…FUCKING LOCKER!” She yelled. “That dickhead, he better tell me! I’m his cousin!”

“Who wouldn’t tell a cousin who makes fun of him everything?” Erin said. “Look, girls, let’s just forget it. Come on, I have to fix up something for Dee.”

“Ooh, are you making him a shelf? Men LOVE shelves Erin.” Orla said.

“No, Orla, a Valentine’s card.”

—

While they sat in Erin’s room, trying to find a coded way to get past Dee’s parents, Orla was tossing a ball of paper in the air. It had begun nearly an hour ago, and at that point, Erin looked at the wall, glaring at Orla’s reflection in the mirror. “Orla, can you please stop that? And don’t waste my paper! I spent 25p on the paper alone!”

“It’s not even yours, it’s James’s.” Orla said.

“What are you on about Orla?” Michelle asked, suddenly interested and putting down a slip of paper.

“It’s James’s Valentine! I got it from the bin. The glitter’s great, isn’t it? And-“

“GIVE ME THAT!”

Michelle reached over and snatched it, before opening it up, but realised that for as much of a ball ache James could be, he was thorough. Multiple rips of the paper stared back at her, and many of the words were smudged and indecipherable. She smoothed it out, and the girls got to work deciphering it.

“Maybe this word and these letters go together!”

“Go, S and D?”

“Yeah! Ghost.” Orla said. “Why do we assume James’s girlfriend is alive?”

“Here, what about this?”

“Claire…I don’t think James girlfriend is going to call him ‘delectable’. He’s a person-“

“Barely.”

“-not a soup dish.”

Eventually, the girls came to an approximate idea of what the note said. Once again, they smoothed it out and Michelle read it out.

Dear James,

I like you, a lot. But I don’t know if you like me. Come by to 113 Bridgetown Street and we can see.

Signed,
You Know Who.

“That’s where we need to go!” Michelle said, clapping her hands. “We’re going to crash that date and find out which sad girl has reduced herself to dating James.”

“Michelle, no!”

Claire stood up, eyes moving around the room at breakneck speed, before they eventually settled on Michelle, and she sighed and began to pull her fingers anxiously. “Look, Michelle, let’s just let James enjoy his date and then we can grill him AFTER. How would you feel if he interrupted YOUR date?”

“I wouldn’t care. No, actually, I’d beat the crap out of him!” Michelle said. “But he wouldn’t dare hit me, so I say we go now! Who’s with me girls?”

Erin stood up, looking slightly ashamed. When Claire looked at her in disgust, she held her hands up. “I’m not seeing Dee until tomorrow! I need to do something in the meantime.”

“Orla?” Michelle asked and held out a hand. Orla shook her head and Claire nodded.

“Yes, Orla! Respect James’s privacy. Thank you!” Claire said and turned back to Michelle. “I’m afraid your little activity isn’t as popular as you made it out to be.”

Michelle looked at Orla and gave her the once over. “Orla, I’ll buy you a Mars Bar if you come with.”

Then it was three against one, and Claire was not about to miss out, even if she knew James swore her to secrecy to NOT say anything.

Before they left, however, Orla held up five, spare letters that couldn’t be placed anywhere in the reconstructed letter. “What about these ones? What do they mean?”

Michelle took them in her hand, before laying them out and reading them. “O…O…V…P…R…” she thought for a moment, before her eyes widened. “Jesus CHRIST girls! Is James meeting a fucking PROVO?!”

The girls ran out of the house, with Erin stumbling down the steps. She blamed her school shoes and the soda that had dried into the carpet courtesy of *Orla.*

—

When they arrived at the destination, the air was quiet. They couldn’t hear anything, but they wondered whether that was intentional. Claire was saying a prayer, wishing she brought her rosary. Erin was telling herself this was a great way to satisfy the readers of her future books who like intrigue. Michelle regretted coming because it was fucking Baltic. And Orla sucked on a lollipop.

Then, they saw James. He was dressed in dark clothes, with his head down, and walked at a fast pace. And shortly after, a figure in dark clothes too, with his face covered, followed shortly after. The girls gasped and they slowly began to walk forward, before Erin held her hands up and turned around.

“Look, girls, James had a good run, didn’t he? Hell, he might enjoy prison!” She said, but Claire held her hands out, almost as though she was going to strike.

“No, Erin! You wanted to come, so you have to see everything in its…it’s glory.” She said.

“Glory? What’s she on about glory? Violence is an awful-“

“It’s a figure of speech, Erin!” Claire said. “Let’s just…let’s just go.”

They entered the building, and could hear voices at the back of the building. James’s voice sounded…softer, lower than any of the girls had ever heard it. Then they heard the quiet muttering of someone with a Derry accent, one who faced away from them. They all ducked low behind piles of rubble in the dilapidated building, before peering over it.

And then they saw the faceless figure pull out a bag, and show it to James. James smiled, widely, before hugging the figure and holding the bag close to his chest. They continued to simply talk in low voices, just out of eavesdrop from the girls. But Erin had a look of abject horror.

“Oh my god…did she just give James a bomb?”

“In a paper bag, Erin? Catch yourself on.” Michelle said. “What kind of bomb would go in a paper bag?”

“What kind of person would date James, provo or not?” Erin said.

“Good point.”

Claire watched as James and the figure neared one another, and this was when she couldn’t do it anymore. She turned to the girls, chest rising and falling quickly. “Girls, we need to get out of here! We can just…let’s call the police! When we get home! Or better yet, we can just leave and that’s it!”

“Claire, I’m not having my English prick of a brother get blown up because you’re constantly on the verge of getting an ulcer.” Michelle said.

“Girls, you don’t know! Look, James and-“

“Oh my god, they’re attacking James!” Michelle yelled and pointed. When the girls turned, they saw the figure with their arms around James’s waist, while James had his hands around the figure’s neck. Michelle jumped forward, but Claire raced after her. Erin watched in horror, and Orla rolled her eyes as the flavour of a Mars bar washed over her.

Michelle looked around for a weapon, but for once, there wasn’t anything nearby - except piles of very small pieces of rubble. She grabbed a handful before running forward, cringing. “Get your hands off that poor, English bastard!”

Claire, however, was faster on the draw.

She threw herself in front of Michelle, and the rubble glided through the air, before hitting Claire in the face, finishing with the sound of it skittering against the floor. Erin gasped, James and the figure jumped apart, cursing - Orla was licking the Mars Bar packet.

“I will not allow you to hurt them!” Claire said, before coughing. “Michelle, some of that went up my nose!”

“Claire, for fucks sake!” Michelle said, before pushing Claire aside. “Round two!”

She grabbed another handful of the rubble, before throwing it at the figure, who shied away from it, fanning their face. James tried to pull them back, but then Michelle grabbed James by the shoulders.

“RUN, JAMES! YOU WON’T LIKE WHAT THEY DO TO ENGLISH MEN IN PRISON!” She said. “IT’S NOT AS BAD AS WHAT THEY DO TO THE IRISH, BUT PRISON’S PRISON!”

“Michelle, Jesus Christ, it’s FINE!” James said, before shaking his head, looking defeated. “Look, for fucks sake…”

James walked over, turned the figure around, and pulled the hood from the person’s face, and suddenly, the four girls were being stared at by David Donnelly.

—

“Why did you feel the need to hide this relationship?” Michelle asked. “Because, last time I checked, I was all for the gays.”

“You’re all for the gays, but you’re not for me.”
James muttered, shifting atop a pile of rubble where they were sat.

“Yeah, too fuckin’ right, I’m not! Do you realise what we’ve just spent the last hour doing?” Michelle said. “Hauling our holes all over town just to make sure you were safe!”

Erin turned to Claire. “What I don’t understand, is why you threw yourself in front of a provo, Claire!”

“I’m not a provo.” David said, but Orla held up a handful of rubble and aimed it at him.

“We’ll let the JURY decide that.” She said, and nodded at Erin to continue.

“Uh…yes, thank you, Orla.” Erin said, and Claire sighed and looked at James and David, and the tiniest ghost of a smile appeared on her face.

“Well…I found out, because I caught them snogging one time.” Claire said. “And-“

“And you didn’t TELL US?!” Michelle asked. “What about girl power, Spice Girls, Geri Halliwell?!” She raised a fist.

“I’m a lesbian first, girl second.” Claire said, narrowing her eyes. “Look, I just…they were worried about coming out, and…and Michelle, you’re not exactly the most sensitive to James, so I couldn’t out him! That’s like…the cardinal sin of the gay church!”

“There’s a gay church?” Orla asked with wonder. “Can we go there? I’m getting bored of looking at the same stations of the cross.”

“It’s hypothetical, Orla.” Claire said.

“I thought it was a gay church, now it thinks it’s always sick?” Orla asked. “Give me the local church any day, then.”

“I’m nothing but empathetic, if not a bleeding heart, I’ll have you know.” Michelle said, crossing her arms. Across from her, James shifted closer to David.

“Sorry.” James muttered to David, who grinned and put an arm around the Englishman’s waist, and both shared a smile. “Was sitting on a piece of sharp rubble-“

“Do you want us to write you a song James?” Michelle snapped. “Fuck it, let’s go home! And if we get a bollocking, I get to do your makeup James.”

“I’m gay, Michelle, not a woman.” James said, scoffing.

“What’s wrong with being a woman? Sexist, English prick.” Michelle snapped, before standing up, and the three girls began to follow her, but James lingered a moment and looked at David, smiling.

“I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute.” James said, and once he was sure they were gone (he made sure of it), he walked up to David and pecked him on the cheek.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” James said. “Why don’t you come around when me and the girls are hanging out? We can talk about this and have a proper conversation with them.” He placed his arms around David’s neck.

“Well, we could.” David said, holding James by the small of his back. “Or…we could come back here and actually have a Valentine’s Day worth celebrating.”

“I’d like that.” James said, and once again, pecked David. After a moment of quiet bliss, Michelle’s voice could be heard.

“If you don’t move NOW James, I’ll come in there and put you under house arrest!”

Chapter Text

Well, it’s been nothing but a long, long time, hasn’t it?

I’ll be honest, I still do like Derry Girls and the fanfiction that comes with it. I continue to have ideas for this fanfiction (as well as my other one, but that’s a whole other beast).

Really, I’m considering continuing this story as a series of one chapter stories about the girls discovering James/David’s relationship. There may be glimpses of other ships, but James/David will only be involved with one another.

Now, whether that would be reviewed or given kudos is up to you, but as it continues to receive kudos and comments to this day, I think there’s a still a desire for this story to continue.

To finish, keep an eye on this story, as an update may be coming shortly!