Chapter Text
„I can’t believe we’re having this conversation again…” She threw her hands in the air with frustration.
“Well, I can’t believe I have to start this conversation either! Again!” He snarled, his voice equally angry and tired.
“But we’ve talked about this! I’m not ready!”
“Not ready?” His sarcastic laughter filled her ears, making her take a step back. “We’ve been engaged for three years, Hermione! Three years! Don’t you think it’s long enough!?”
"So what? Are there laws or limits, which tell me how long should the engagement last? So after three years, it's now or never!?"
"You know it's not like that, it's just…" He sighed, heavily, running a hand through his hair. "Sometimes I'm not sure if you want it anymore…"
Hermione’s gaze softened and she smiled. She came closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing a long kiss to his lips.
"Of course I want it, Ron…" She assured another kiss pressed to his lips. "Just… You know, with everything going on, and my work and my tries to…"
“Right.” He snorted, interrupting her as he took a step back, freeing himself from her grip. “Your work… As always…”
"What's that supposed to mean?" She protectively crossed her arms on her chest, frowning.
“It’s always been about your work! You’re barely home nowadays! Always coming back late, always busy with your projects, never having enough time for me…”
“Ron, that’s not true! I have plenty of time for you!”
"Oh, really!? So when was the last time we went for dinner together? Or last time when we enjoyed ourselves watching a movie? Or last time when we…"
“Okay, okay, I get it! But what do you expect me to do, huh? Resign? You know my work is important!”
“Well, it shouldn’t be more important than me!”
Hermione sighed, rubbing her eyes. She was tired of it. They were having the same fight for a few months now and she was tired of it. He was always accusing her of spending too much time at work, as revenge, she was accusing him of not understanding. And she was tired of it.
“I can’t do the same fight again, Ron…” She sighed, picking up her coat and bag. “I need to go to work…”
She was already standing at the door when his voice stopped her.
"Maybe it's this lover of yours, that takes up so much of your time?"
Hermione froze, her eyes going wide as she slowly turned around, her shocked and hurt gaze locked on her fiancé. And when he saw tears, gathering under her eyelids, he cursed, hating himself, immediately regretting what had he just said.
“Fuck, ‘Mione, I didn’t mean it, I…”
“Save it. And don’t wait for me.” Her voice was cold as her eyes, when she left, slamming the door behind her back.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The bartender greeted her with a smile and Hermione sat on her usual spot, taking off her coat and sighing heavily when he placed a bottle of beer in front of her.
“Hard day?” He asked and Hermione just sighed, shaking her head.
“You have no idea.” She sighed again, opening the bottle and taking the first gulp.
The bartender just nodded, smiling at her with sympathy before he moved onto other clients who had just entered the pub.
Hermione took a quick look at the couple standing just a few feet away from her, their arms wrapped around each other, fingers brushing together when with broad smiles on their faces they were choosing their drinks for tonight. A small, yet sad smile appeared on her face at the view, memories suddenly flooding her when not so long ago she was just as happy, in love, thinking there was a whole world at her feet, just waiting for her to conquer it. But it was a long time ago, wasn't it? She looked into the bottle she was holding in her hands and sighing she took another swing.
Kings Arms became her safe place a few months ago when after one of the first fights she had with Ron, she found herself walking aimlessly through the London streets, until her legs carried her to this pub, its interior just screaming to her to come inside and once she did, she knew it was a place just for her. Different from the other muggle pubs it was well lit, strangely cozy with those colorful posters, flags, and dozens of small decorations looking at her from every wall and shelf. The garland of lights swinging from the ceiling and the noises of people talking being just a pleasant background hum, not this annoying loud sound she was used to hearing in all of the other pubs she was in.
She was lying to Ron, she never had to work late, she didn't have any extra projects she had to finish, hell, she didn't even have to work for a better position in Ministry, the one she was having right now was already sufficient for her needs and ambitions. So every time she was sending him a text message that she will be late, every time she apologized to him for not being there, putting it all on the chaos of Ministry, she was instead just sitting here, beer in her hand, her eyes scanning the crowd around her and her mind wandering, this one safe refuge in this huge city, the place she could have had just for herself, for a moment forgetting about all of her problems.
And no matter how hard was it for her to admit that Ron was one of them.
Because what kind of fiancee was hiding from a man she promised to marry? What kind of girl didn't want to come back to comforting and loving arms that were waiting for her back at home? What kind of person preferred solitude in a crowded bar on the other side of London than a peaceful, quiet evening spent hugging and watching movies? In the beginning, she tried to find an explanation for that. Too much work, too much stress, their conversations suddenly rare, shorter, the time they've once spent together suddenly non-existing. She blamed herself, for such a long time she blamed herself for not trying too much, for being the bad person, for not fighting strong enough. But when their fights became more frequent, when sometimes she could just not stand the thought of him waiting for her back at home, she understood that it wasn't anyone's fault.
They just weren't working out.
When this thought crept into her mind for the very first time, she was startled by it, even scared, the thought just too much to bear and she had to shake her head violently to get rid of it. But once the seed was planted, it just kept on growing, spreading inside her, more and more doubts blossoming with every fight they had, those few intrusive words being a huge neon sign, red lights blinking furiously in her mind. Until she had to accept that truth and learn how to live with it. They've changed too much, the war, the work, the new world being just too much for them, when they couldn't be more different from the people they were back in school. She saw it now but she just couldn't find the courage to say it out loud, to admit to Ron that she didn't plan on marrying him, not now, not ever. So she kept on escaping, hiding, postponing this difficult talk as much as she could, a part of her hoping that maybe he will do it for her, that maybe she won't have to. The courage that she once had? She wasted it all during the war, the remnants of it just helping her to keep going day after day, the flame too weak, the fire that was one burning in her eyes long gone.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her, she didn't even realize that there was someone standing next to her until that person leaned against the counter next to her.
"Well, well, well... If it isn't Hermione Granger." A familiar voice spoke up and the girl groaned internally.
From all of the people in London, from all of the millions of people she could have run into, even here, in Greenwich, she had to run into him. Was it a kind of cruel joke? Her life mocking her in just another way? Was Karma being her usual bitch?
"Fancy seeing you here." His familiar smirk appeared on his lips and this time she rolled her eyes.
“Get lost, Malfoy. I'm not in the mood for games.” She took another big swing of her beer, ignoring him, her eyes looking anywhere but at him.
"Who said I'm here for the games?" Ignoring her clear disinterest and without invitation, he took place on the barstool, right next to her, and gestured to the bartender to bring them two more beers.
She was still ignoring him, suddenly very interested in a colorful display of bottle of beers on the wall, hoping that maybe if she won't acknowledge his presence, he will quickly resign and leave her alone. But apparently, Draco Malfoy was a patient man when it came to tormenting her because he just took the beer the bartender slid to him and started to drink, in silence. She could feel his eyes on her back, yet she was still stubbornly ignoring him, fingers clenching around the bottle she was holding when she emptied it with one last gulp.
"Rough day?" He spoke again, sliding the second of his bottle towards her, almost like a peace offering, the gesture that was meant to make her believe that he wasn't here to mock her.
“What are you even doing here?” She asked, yet accepted the beer. “Never thought I'd see the day I will meet Draco Malfoy in a muggle pub.” Corner of her lips raised in a smirk.
"I saw you through the window." He admitted. "And it's not a usual view to see Hermione Granger sitting alone in the pub and drinking at-" he hung his voice for a moment and took a look at his wristwatch, shooting her the most charming smile she ever saw on his face. "-5 pm." He finished. "Shouldn't you be still at work?"
“Shouldn't you?” Her eyebrow rose and he nodded, raising a bottle towards her in a salute.
“Fair enough.” He took a sip of it. “Still not answering my question though.”
"Noisy as always." She rolled her eyes but to her own surprise, she found herself replying. "It was a hard day, I needed a break." She admitted finally, happy that she managed to tell him the truth without saying any details that would give him the reason to mock her.
But instead of any kind of snarky remark she has expected, he just leaned a bit closer towards her, his eyes scanning her face intensively.
“Wanna talk about it?”
For a moment she thought she overheard it, that maybe it was even her imagination or maybe the noises of conversations of other people just made her believe she heard something she didn't. But the look of his eyes was telling her that there was no mistake, that he, Draco Malfoy was sitting in front of her, offering to listen.
She had to work with him for two years and it was impossible to avoid him in the Ministry so she knew that he's changed as well. He wasn't that proud and prejudiced boy she knew back in school, he grew up, like all of them, now more humble, more civil, even capable of carrying a short conversation with her from time to time. But there was a difference between talking about work or complaining about their bosses or just exchanging quick opinions in the atrium or an elevator, or when they were meeting in a social room. But admitting what was bothering her to him and him offering to listen to her in the first place was something entirely different and something she didn't expect at all. She looked at him almost like he had just grown a pair of insect antennas, her eyes widening before shooting him a skeptic look.
"No offense, but I am pretty sure that you have better things to do than hearing about my relationship problems." She snorted before mentally facepalming herself for accidentally revealing what was bothering her.
Now she will never hear the end of his mocking.
“Ah. So it's about Weasel.” He said it casually, almost like he knew it was all about him since the beginning.
"Don't call him that." She answered, but suddenly realizing that it was more of a habit of hers than she truly minded that he called her fiance a weasel. To be honest, after what happened today she was tempted to call him even worse names than comparing him to a small mammal.
“Weasley, then.” He corrected himself. “But my offer still stands. And believe it or not, Granger, but I didn't have better plans for tonight anyway, so...” He shrugged and looked at her expectantly.
“I highly doubt it. I am sure there was a date you planned or a meeting with your friends or... anything.” She made a circle in the air with her hand, almost like she gestured to that anything she was talking about. But then he met his eyes and shook his head.
“Nope. Just taking a stroll before going back home, needed to clear my head. And then I saw you and here we are.” He shrugged, almost like it was the most casual thing and there was nothing weird about the situation they were in right now.
“You're joking.” Hermione snorted, shaking her head with amusement and finishing her beer with one last sip. But then she looked at him again and his face was serious and she blinked with surprise, raising her eyebrow. “You are not joking...”
He just shrugged, a weird look on his face when he patted her knee with his free hand.
“Now, don't be shy, Granger. I happen to be a great listener.”
She cocked her head to the side, her eyes squinted a little bit and he could almost hear the gears in her head working, weighing all the pros and cons when she was desperately trying to decide if she could truly tell him or not. Finally, it seemed like she made up her mind because she sighed.
“Fine.” She sighed again and ordered two whiskies for them.
And she did tell him everything, from the beginning, about the fights, about how they started, about the engagement, the wedding that he wanted too much and the one she feared, about the doubts, the second thoughts, the regrets, everything she was hiding inside since long months.
Because there was no one else she could confine in. Harry being Ron's best friend wouldn't be able to keep his face straight and Ginny was his sister, even if she would be able to keep a secret, it would probably break her heart to hear that her best friend didn't want to have anything in common with her brother anymore. So she never told anyone, always putting a brave mask on her face, pretending it was fine, pretending that she was just tired.
Until now.
Because once she started, she couldn't stop, everything just pouring out from her, only now realizing just how much she needed to share this burden with someone, with anyone. They finished their whiskey and then ordered another one, minutes turning into hours when she was telling him everything and he was just sitting there, listening to her intensively, his eyes never drifting away from her face.
And finally she finished, last words were spoken, the last sip of whiskey and this weird lightness in her body, the one that was partially from the alcohol, but also something else, something deeper, almost like a terrible weight was lifted from her heart, the first time in months she was feeling... Better.
She took a shy look at the man sitting in front of her, now realizing that after all, it was still Draco Malfoy she confined in, a person that could turn all of this into a cruel joke. But seconds has passed, his face still serious and just when she was about to open her mouth, to be the first one to say something, he finally spoke.
“Dump him.”
“I... What!?” Her eyes widened with pure shock when she realized that he was still serious about that.
“Dump him, Granger..”
“I... I can't just dump him!” She protested.
“Why not? He's an idiot, he doesn't respect your choices or your work and he's making you miserable.”
“But...”
"Do you truly want to marry him and spend the rest of your life hiding in this pub, pretending you're working late to avoid him?"
“I...”
“That's what I thought.”
“But we've been together for years, how would it look if I suddenly break up with him?”
"It will look like a grown-up woman choosing to be happy, without a rock chained to her leg, pulling her down and drowning her."
“Malfoy! Ron is not a rock!”
He just shrugged, taking a sip of his whiskey.
“You know I'm right.” He said.
She opened her eyes and then closed them, suddenly and maybe for the first time in her life feeling truly speechless.
Because no matter how much she hated to admit that, he was right.
She was a coward before, not wanting to take this option under consideration, not brave enough to even think about breaking up with Ron. Was she that stupid or just naive? Being stuck in a relationship that was making her miserable?
"But it's just hard work... The relationship is hard work, maybe I am just not trying strong enough..."
"Oh, please." He rolled his eyes. "It is hard work but from both sides. It can't be just you trying when he's doing nothing."
She didn't answer this time, his words sinking in, this too familiar heaviness in her stomach appearing again when she understood that he was right.
And she hated it.
“Wow.”
“Wow?” He raised his brow at her.
"I just… I just never thought I would be sitting in a muggle bar, talking with Draco Malfoy about my relationship problems. " She sighed, but the corner of her lips twitching slightly, almost like she was trying not to smile.
"Hey, it's mostly alcohol doing it." He smirked at her.
“When did you become such a specialist in the subject anyway?”
"Married, remember?" He raised his hand and wiggled his fingers, the golden ring shining on his index finger.
“So I see the married life is suiting you, huh?”
"No complaints." He smiled but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes and for a moment Hermione was tempted to ask him about that, to know more, but at the last moment, she resigned, deciding it was not her place to ask. Especially after pouring her heart out like this in front of him.
The silence between them was suddenly interrupted by a loud ping and she looked down at her phone, sighing heavily when she saw a text message from Ron.
"He says he's sorry and asks me when I'll be back," She explained to Malfoy, but not making any kind of movement to raise the phone and answer his message.
“Your choice, Granger. You know my opinion.”
"Yeah..." She nodded, suddenly lost in her thoughts. "But I should be going..." She raised from the stool, putting her coat on. She was already reaching for her purse when she met Malfoy's gaze and her face softened when she smiled at him once again. "Thank you. For listening to me and keeping me company. I didn't realize how much I needed this.”
He waved his hand dismissively.
“Don't speak about that, Granger.”
She smiled at him again and was about to leave when his voice stopped her and she turned around to look at him.
"Maybe I'm not your first choice, but… If you'll ever need to talk, or anything." He shrugged, avoiding her gaze, almost like he was being embarrassed. "I can be here for you, Granger."
For a moment she was just looking at him, into his eyes, for the n-th time this evening wondering if it could be a joke or a way to mock her, but his gaze was serious and she somehow knew that he truly meant it.
“I'll keep that in mind.” She smiled. “Goodnight!”
“Goodnight.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The lights were off when she entered her apartment and for a split second she felt panic grabbing her throat, making her unable to breathe when her mind started to give her the pictures of the worst possible scenarios ever. But when she shut the door behind her, she saw a faint light coming from the bedroom and a silent voice, speaking her name. She sighed heavily and leaving her shoes and coat she stepped into their bedroom. She saw her fiance laying in their bed, his eyes wide opened, locked on her. She slowly put down her bag on the floor and when she was about to go to the bathroom, she heard his voice, barely audible.
“I’m sorry…”
For a moment she had that irresistible urge to walk to him, slip under the quilt and wrap into his warm body, wanting nothing but the comfort only the body of another person could bring her. But at the same time she still remembered his face when he accused her of cheating, she still remembered everything she said to Malfoy and those two little words he had spoken, now ringing in her mind, refusing to go away, the thoughts of dumping him fresh and vivid and that urge evaporated, leaving only annoyance. Instead of coming to him, she just looked at him briefly; his eyes silently begging for forgiveness. She should tell him that she accepts, that it was nothing, she should smile and pretend it didn't hurt at all, just like she did dozens of times before. But not today. Today he had to work for it.
“I know.” She answered simply, before entering the bathroom and closing the door behind her.