Chapter Text
That frigid night next to the lake at Loidis near Ragnar’s grave, she knew Uhtred would come. He would come to mourn Ragnar and probably rage with the guilt inside of himself because his brother was dead and he feels responsible. It was a night that was filled with grief and sorrow, despair and loss, yet ended with understanding and some form of unconventional love. A love you can only have for someone when you have known them as long as Brida and Uhtred knew each other. No matter how desperately they tried to ignore the heaviness of the air and the unspoken words between them while seeking out a way to get Ragnar from Niflheim to Valhalla, they eventually could not resist the pull of each other any longer.
Uhtred and Brida. Brida and Uhtred. Theirs was a bond that, despite the years and differences between them, only got stronger as time went on. Since that first night in the stairs in the great hall as children, when Uhtred took her hand, they became a part of each other. They may not have always liked each other and sometimes out right despised one another, but each of them had a hole the shape of the other somewhere in the depths of their being.
Brida had no plan or intention on humping Uhtred that night, in fact she was still bitterly angry with him for abandoning Ragnar. If Uhtred had stayed at Dunholm, instead of leaving to save that bony-arsed Saxon princess, Ragnar would most likely still be alive. Brida could not yet forgive him for that. To be honest, she wan’t sure if she ever could.
However, Uhtred’s revelation to her that night in Loidis shook Brida to her core. All these years… the resentment felt towards him, the feeling of abandonment of his Danish family because of the decision he made… it was like a wound left to fester. Uhtred had never given a reason for swearing loyalty to Alfred and becoming his oathman for the rest of Alfred’s reign. He had simply told Ragnar as they parted ways in Wintanchester that day that he “had his reasons.” Brida, in the tiniest corner of her being, knew that there had to be some rational reason for Uhtred to allow himself to become Alfred’s dog once again, his leash tied to the throne of Wessex. Of course them both being the stubborn people they were, the matter had just been pushed away and their lives drifted apart. Nevertheless, not understanding Uhtred’s reasoning had always bothered Brida, like a stone in her boot that she couldn’t get rid of.
So finally, while sitting in front of the fire in the woods at Loidis, the air as cold as Niflheim itself, he finally told her the truth of the matter. His gave his oath to Alfred in exchange for Ragnar’s life. Alfred had put Uhtred in a no-win situation and he had no choice but to bend the knee to Alfred. Alfred knew what he was doing when he sent Ragnar off on a mission to rescue Uhtred from the slave ship. As Leofric always said, “The bastard thinks.” Even if he hadn’t killed that priest in Cumbraland, Alfred would have thought of something to tie him to Wessex. So what could he do? There was only one option. Sacrifice his freedom and his chance at regaining Bebbanburg in order to save his brother’s life. ‘How could she have ever doubted him?, ’ Brida though to herself
“So, am I back in your good graces now, woman?” Uhtred asked, elbows propped on his knees as he leaned into the fire. He turned his face towards her and gave one of those self-satisfied, cheeky grins trying to lighten the sorrowful atmosphere that had been lingering in the air since eating dinner earlier.
“I suppose” replied Brida, attempting to still sound angry, “but… you won’t be completely absolved until we find a way to get Ragnar out of Niflheim and into Valhalla. I cannot just sit here and think of him stuck there! It haunts me in my dreams.” She looked at Uhtred in despair, her eyebrows knitted together, eyes glassy as she tried to hold back the tears. Uhtred reached over and cupped her cheek in his rough calloused palm, brushing a tear away with his thumb. While earnestly looking her straight in the eye, he promised yet another oath.
“I swear to you Brida, I will not rest until we have done that exact thing. Ragnar WILL see Valhalla yet or I will die trying. Come here” he pleaded with her in an attempt to offer some comfort to his oldest friend. Brida just cocked her head as she looked at him with one eyebrow raised. It had been many years since they had been under the furs together but she still knew that look in his eye.
“What?!” Uhtred said in response to her look. “I am just trying keep us warm!”
“Well, as long as that is your only intention. And she slid over, under his arm, Uhtred wrapping his large woolen cloak around the both of them and they stared into the fire, passing a skin of ale back and forth. There was no awkwardness, only comfort for these two souls that had know each other for so long. There was an unspoken feeling between them like they had made it back home again, back were they belonged.
After a time Uhtred spoke up. “Brida, my vixen, you have been half my life and all of my madness.” Then, as he touched his forehead to hers, “We WILL succeed in doing this. I can feel it deep inside of me. Besides,” as he chuckled lightly, “I am sure you would have my balls if I didn’t see this through.” With a laugh, she smacked him on the chest and rested her head on his shoulder. As she breathed in his smell of leather and woodsmoke she was thinking that now she was just as unsure of her own intention as she was of his.