Work Text:
It starts with a small flap
Renjun is magnetic; has grown to be even more so as an adult. Donghyuck can’t decide what it is exactly, that makes him so enchanting. He ultimately figures it’s a combination of features. Renjun is beautiful, evidently, in a way that transpires fragility with his small frame, small hands and crooked smile and that sparks a sheltering instinct in the hyungs and his fans. Yet he’s elusive with the way he flits around people, attracting them with his wit to let them chase him, since he’s anything but brittle or frail.
Donghyuck thought himself immune, having witnessed Renjun’s awkward teenage years too closely, with his snaggletooth and cracking voice. Most of all, because Donghyuck had seen his unyielding self-reliance that had always left little to protect.
Now, as he watches Renjun twirl and fly during rehearsal and on stage, he catches himself staring at the way his back gracefully arches when his feet soar high, defying gravity as if he had fluttery wings, his arms and fingers tracing flowing lines in the air. His thoughts lead him to draw an indistinct simile; his mind relates Renjun’s presence to that of a butterfly, the kind that’s elegant and luminous as it wafts free in a flowery garden.
Sounds of winds blowing around my ears
Nothing really changes when they grow into adulthood; on the contrary, their dynamic is simply emphasized by its sustained nature, their relationship becoming more playful. They continue to joke around, often fighting as Donghyuck delights in Renjun’s anger (sometimes faked for the sake of the cameras, sometimes thrillingly real, back at the dorms).
Unlike when he annoys Doyoung, Donghyuck lets Renjun punish him. Even as Renjun grabs, hits and chases after him, Donghyuck lets him catch up most of the time, pouting and laughing at the surprising pain small hands can inflict.
It stays like this for a while, in a precarious yet uninterrupted balance. But like all things in motion, balance is lost, their course deviating little by little as Donghyuck accommodates Renjun, as his feelings reroute their destination, spiralling from their programmed path.
They’re playing around waiting to film a scene from their newest music video, nothing unusual, when Renjun grabs one of Donghyuck’s wrists, his other hand moving against Donghyuck’s shoulder, and pushes. Donghyuck doesn’t resist, falling backward as if in slow motion, arching his back when his bottom gently hits the dressing room table.
Renjun’s gaze flickers down, and then to the side, to where the camera is filming them. Donghyuck blinks and suddenly his wrist and shoulder are free and Renjun is stepping away, almost too fast.
He can feel the imprint left by Renjun’s hands, even as the other ignores him and turns to talk to Jaemin. He looks away only to encounter Jeno’s raised eyebrow and fights the urge to scratch at the reddening skin. He manages to shrug in response, not quite meeting his eyes.
Touches linger, eyes fixed on usually unremarked movements, and in those moments the rest fades, a background to a smile or a laugh, but Donghyuck doesn’t recognize change, much less the direction they’re taking.
Like a moth, he can only flit around the light, fascinated by its light and warmth, never able to get close enough.
He ignores Jeno’s inquisitive gaze.
Now, inside my heart, a hurricane
It feels like it has always felt; playful, lively and light until one time it doesn’t and Renjun is grabbing him by the wrists, pinning them high up against the wall; and Donghyuck was right after all, Renjun isn’t weak at all; his fingers dig into skin as Donghyuck pushes back against them.
Donghyuck feels like a butterfly on a display board, tacked by Renjun’s tight hold and piercing gaze. He feels exposed but he can’t look away even as Renjun closes the gap, slowly and softly, even as his fingers tighten their hold with each inch of closeness until his lips are gentle on Donghyuck’s and there’s no blood circulating to his fingers anymore.
He closes his eyes and parts his mouth, and Renjun’s tongue swipes his lower lip. Blood thuds in his ears, fire spreading in his chest, and he can’t tell which way is up or down, but it doesn’t matter anymore.