Work Text:
“I’m sorry. I failed you by not even properly telling you that you were right. We were- We are soulmates. I hope that you never need to hear this tape, but… But if you do, then at least you’ll be able to have some closure.”
Martin clicked the tape off there and rubbed his hand over his face, trying not to let out the sob that bubbled in his chest. Tears were freely streaming down his face at that point, tears he’d been trying to hold back for what felt like too long. Three days since his words had disappeared. Three days since… Having Elias arrested should’ve felt like a win, but instead he just felt numb.
He’d almost forgotten about the tape Jon had left him, he’d planned to just give it right back anyway. Jon had been supposed to come back. They all were supposed to come back. Although, at least Jon had been able to be pulled out.
“Jon.” His voice was rough with emotion, but he couldn’t bring himself to care as he looked down at the lifeless body in the hospital bed. “Jon, please. I… I’m here,” he tried to continue, reaching out to gently take Jon’s hand in his own. His skin felt so cold. Lifeless. The doctors had no idea what was going on with him. He should’ve been dead. He had been dead. He was effectively everything but brain dead. The lack of words on his arm was proof enough of that.
Martin couldn’t find his words as he looked down at Jon, still trying to hold back the sobs. He looked so small in that bed with tubes and wires connected to him all over, nothing at all like the man he’d seen just barely a week ago.
“Jon,” he started again, clearing his throat and using his free hand to wipe at his eyes. “I… Please, I’m right here. I… I thought listening to the tape here might help. That it might bring you-” he cut off again, choking on the words as a strangled noise pushed its way out of his throat. It was all too much. “Jon, please. Please. Whatever strength you’ve got left in you just… Please use it to come back.”
He squeezed Jon’s lifeless hand, wishing more than anything that he could get any sort of response. Anything to show that Jon was still alive in there, that there was a chance he might be able to pull through.
“I need you here, Jon. There’s… There’s too much going on and no one left for me to go to. Tim is-” he had to stop himself as the sob threatened to rip itself free, taking a few deep breaths to push it back down. “And Melanie is… Elias being gone hasn’t helped much. And Basira’s still in the hospital. There’s… I can’t do this alone, Jon. I need you. Please… I just need you to wake up,” he tried again.
The room was silent but for the beeping and whirring of all the machines Jon was hooked up to and Martin’s soft sobs that finally ripped themselves free. He let his head tip forward and squeezed his eyes shut, his body softly shaking. Who knows how long he stayed like that, crying over his soulmate’s bed, hoping that maybe somehow he’d pull through with another miracle and come back. Instead, it seemed like Jon’s luck had finally run dry.
Once his sobs had finally died down, he took a shaky deep breath and finally opened his eyes to look back up at Jon. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you tell me in person. I wish I never had a reason to listen to that tape either.” He focused on the hand he was holding, gently setting it back down on the bed. He tried not to focus on his own handwriting staring back at him from Jon’s arm, on display to him for the first time, but it just pulled another sob out of him.
“I’m sorry, Jon. I… I’m not going to give up on you,” he whispered, wiping at his eyes harshly and sniffling hard. “I… I’ll come back. I promise.”
Martin sat there for a few moments, almost wishing that he might get a reply from Jon even if it were just a twitch of his muscles, but nothing happened. The machines continued to beep and whirr and fill the room with noise and Martin knew that there was nothing else he could do.
“I’ll keep coming back to you,” he said quietly as he finally pushed himself out of the seat and grabbed his things. He hesitated when reaching for the tape recorder, shaking his head and resting it gently on the bedside table. “I just need you to eventually come back to me.”