Work Text:
“There’s something wrong with Wonpil.”
Jae had spoken aloud, his eyes unwavering from the man who sat alone with opened books spread on the table, along with an untouched cup of coffee. The coffee had been ‘on the house’, courtesy of the bespectacled blond behind the counter, but Wonpil had not even glanced at it since Jae came by about ten minutes ago. He was careful to make the drink just the way Wonpil liked it, but it seemed that the latter was too preoccupied with his thoughts at the moment. Jae wondered if something had happened earlier in the day that was bothering the uncharacteristically solemn man.
“Dude, stop staring at the poor guy, you’re starting to look like a creep.” Jae’s best friend and coworker at the campus cafe, Younghyun, said with a disapproving tone. He was never a big fan of Jae’s constant sighs whenever Wonpil didn’t show up at the cafe, and he was undoubtedly exhausted whenever his friend kept mentioning Wonpil’s name at every chance he could get. Jae was well-aware of how Younghyun felt about Jae’s hopeless situation, but it never stopped the older one from pining over the dark-haired man.
They were strangers, not having any classes in common or even mutual friends, and the only reason Jae knew of Wonpil’s existence was that he was a regular at the cafe, always seated at the same table at least twice a week for hours at a time. Sometimes he had study partners in the form of his two closest friends, but most of the time Wonpil was alone, working on assignments and catching up on some reading for his classes.
The older one didn’t mean to develop a severe crush on the guy, having previously resorted to discreetly stealing glances in his general direction whenever Wonpil came to the cafe during Jae’s shift. It was only after the first time he had spotted the younger man outside of the cafe, walking on campus to his class with his friends, that he realized that Wonpil was not just some fleeting eye-candy to him. Seeing the dark-haired man laughing at something one of his friends had said, Jae was surprised to notice that Wonpil had the most contagious laugh he ever heard, and paired with the extra-gummy smile that Jae was used to being the recipient of at the cafe, it wasn’t hard to piece things together. Jae liked Wonpil’s face, his laugh, and his smile, but most importantly, Jae liked Wonpil. Like, a lot.
“He looks so sad, Brian, don’t you see?” Jae asked with a frown, watching as Wonpil sighed and stared out of the window.
“And we have customers, Jae, don’t you see?” Younghyun jerked his head towards the group of girls, freshman year of university from the looks of it, that had entered the premises, airy giggles and loud conversation slicing through the previously serene atmosphere of the cafe.
Jae merely let out a tired sigh and rearranged his facial expressions into something that replaced his worry, adjusting into his cheery Customer Service voice. By the time the girls had placed their orders and settled into a booth, Wonpil had left, slipping out of the door unnoticed.
With a spray bottle and a washcloth, Jae approached the table and glanced glumly at the still-full cup of coffee, a little disappointed that Wonpil did not drink a single drop from it. It seemed that whatever he was going through, the dark-haired man needed something much more significant than a mere cup of coffee to cheer him up.
“Eh? What’s this?” Jae bent down, plucking a crumpled tissue from the floor, gasping slightly as he noticed specks of blood on it. Wonpil was the only one who sat there since the last time either he or Younghyun had cleaned this particular table, so Jae was quite certain that it belonged to the younger man. The bloodied tissue meant that the blond was right; there was something wrong with Wonpil.
-
It had been three weeks since Wonpil came into the cafe, and Jae was starting to worry.
Of course, it was silly for him to be so worked up over a complete stranger, but Wonpil was not just some random guy, not to the bespectacled man. It did not help that the last time Jae saw him involved a tissue stained with blood, and he had spent his time on the lookout for Wonpil whenever he walked across campus. His height gave an advantage for his search of even a glimpse of his crush to make sure he was alright, but it was no use - Wonpil was nowhere to be found.
“Maybe he just found a better cafe to study in,” Younghyun suggested. The two friends were seated in the library, multiple open books and scribbled sheets of paper were strewn on the table. Their semester exams were nearing, and both of them needed to put in more effort to scrape together a decent grade. Jae, however, found his concern about Wonpil circulating in his mind in a frenzy just as much as his study materials as of late.
“There’s no way, he’s been coming to the cafe since forever!” Jae responded indignantly, loud enough to earn a few displeased glares from patrons of neighbouring tables. “And we haven’t seen him on campus either, that’s pretty worrying.” He added in a much lower volume than before.
Younghyun tapped his pen against his forehead a couple of times before glancing at Jae with a frown. “You barely know the guy, why are you so worked up about your crush like this? You can’t put more thought into a random stranger more than your studies.”
It was no secret that Jae was frustrated, annoyed even, at Younghyun’s words. What does he know, he’s never been in love, Jae thought angrily to himself, only to realize what he had just said. Love? He never even spoke to the guy outside of work-related pleasantries, he didn’t know what Wonpil majored in or even his last name, how could he make such bold claims about his feelings? He had a massive crush on Wonpil though, that much he was certain.
Anyway, it was not like Jae could ask around campus for a guy he knew virtually nothing about without looking like a fool, and it was definitely not his place to be so distraught over him, as Younghyun was right; Wonpil was a random stranger. Other than his name and his usual coffee order, Jae knew absolutely nothing about him.
With a long, drawn-out sigh, Jae admitted defeat. “You’re right, I’m sure he’s fine. I shouldn’t worry too much about it.”
-
True to his word, Jae managed to put his worries about his missing crush into the back of his mind, focusing his energy on his revision instead. It paid off, moderately good grades as a result of hours of studying, but once the exams were over, his thoughts of Wonpil came forth into the spotlight once more.
The blond had seen Wonpil’s friends on campus a few times in passing, but he never approached them. What was he supposed to say, that he had a massive crush on their friend and was unendingly worried about him because he stopped coming to the cafe? Surely they would find him to be some sort of a creep, a stalker of sorts.
Jae mulled it over as he walked back to the dorms one evening, all of his classes done for the day. It had been quite a while since the last time Jae saw Wonpil that he nearly missed the familiar figure walking ahead of him, too engrossed in his thoughts about that very same person. Once he noticed Wonpil’s presence, Jae was completely relieved to see that he was fine, only to instantly panic when the younger man collapsed to the ground right in front of him.
The taller man immediately rushed to his side, immense amounts of concern written all over his face as he assessed the situation at hand. There was no one else nearby, and from what he could tell, Wonpil seemed to be conscious. With a shock, Jae realized that the dark-haired man was in terrible shape compared to the prior month; Wonpil was a lot skinnier than before, and his hands were cold to the touch when Jae checked for his pulse. Wonpil’s face was also pale as if he had been completely drained of colour, and he wheezed with every laboured breath he took. Wonpil’s current condition was so different from the friendly man he was so used to observing, and it honestly scared him.
“Hey, Wonpil?” Jae nudged him gently. “Can you hear me?”
A groan was his only response. Okay, I can work with that, Jae thought to himself. “Listen, I’m gonna need you to stay like this, is that okay? I don’t think you should-”
Before Jae could finish his sentence, Wonpil began to cough loudly, his whole body reacting to it in a worrying shudder. To his alarm, the younger man began to choke, his hand reaching out to grasp Jae’s jacket, tears forming in his eyes. Not wanting the poor guy to suffocate just from laying down, Jae hastily got him into a sitting position, his heart pounding as Wonpil continued to cough, his entire body shuddering with each gasp of breath. Another violent cough, and then-
Flowers? At first, Jae wasn’t sure if his mind was playing tricks on him or something, perhaps a cruel product of his sleepless nights, but as he continued to stare open-mouthed at the scene before him, he concluded that whatever was happening at that moment, was very much real.
Somehow, Wonpil was coughing out a bunch of bloodied flowers; red roses, if he was not mistaken - he couldn’t tell if the red was from blood or the flower itself. It was strange enough to witness whole flowers coming out from someone, it was even weirder that Wonpil did not seem to react much, other than a disgruntled noise once he was done getting all of it out of his system. With a sinking feeling, Jae realized that this was most likely a common occurrence for Wonpil, who was wiping his mouth with a handkerchief in an almost nonchalant manner. All Jae could do was frown, unable to comprehend what just happened as there was no logical explanation he could provide.
“I- I’m sorry you had to see that,” Wonpil spoke, his voice low and hoarse from all the violent coughing barely minutes prior. “That wasn’t really pretty.”
Jae stared at him dumbfoundedly. “You… You don’t seem too surprised about coughing out a bunch of roses.” He stated bluntly, eyeing the flower petals on the ground with unease.
“I’m already used to it,” Wonpil responded, sitting cross-legged while glancing expectantly at Jae. “Do you have some water?”
“Um, y- yeah, I do!” Jae quickly rummaged in his bag for his bottle of water, newly refilled thanks to one of the watercoolers located on campus. He handed it to Wonpil, who took it gratefully, twisting the cap open with slight difficulty before gulping most of it down in one go. “Hey, slow down, you shouldn’t drink so fast.”
Wonpil merely wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and gave the bottle back to him wordlessly. Jae noticed that he was still a bit pale, but his breathing had quietened down and seemed to be at a normal rate. If it weren’t for what he had just seen and the bloodied roses on the ground, anyone would think Wonpil had only collapsed instead of… whatever that just happened.
“You work at the cafe, don’t you?” Wonpil asked, to which Jae nodded. “Thought you looked familiar.”
“You haven’t been coming in for a while now,” Jae mentioned. “Does that have anything to do with the whole ‘coughing out flowers’ thing?”
It was Wonpil’s turn to nod in affirmation. “I can’t show up in class or at a cafe coughing up a bunch of bloodstained flowers, can I? Today’s the first time I left the house in weeks, I went to inform the administration that I wouldn’t be studying here any longer.”
“Why not?”
“Well, I’m going to die soon,” Wonpil said blatantly, his tone so flat that one would think he was completely unaffected by his predicament. “Why fucking study when you know you’ll die?”
Jae rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. He was still processing the fact that Wonpil regularly coughed out flowers, he had not registered the idea that Wonpil was suffering from a fatal disease. “Wh- What do you mean?”
Wonpil took a deep breath, scratching his arm. “No one knows how it happened, but basically I have a flower growing in my lungs, and it won’t stop growing until it blocks oxygen from entering my lungs, then it kills me from inside. With my rubbish luck, mine are roses, so there’s also the imminent threat of the thorns puncturing my lungs.”
“Oh.” Jae’s eyebrows furrowed together in thought. It seemed that he was right to worry about the dark-haired man, but he never thought Wonpil’s disappearance would be something so… complicated. It seemed too surreal to be in the realm of possibilities but seeing as he witnessed it with his own eyes, then Jae had no choice except to believe it. “Do they know what could’ve caused it?”
There was a subtle change in Wonpil’s expression, his resigned weariness replaced with solemnness, almost sorrowful even. “Unrequited love.”
“Huh?”
“This disease is super rare, but there are a few records of cases all over the world with one thing in common: the victims suffered from unrequited love,” Wonpil explained, a bitter smile on his exhausted face. “If I had known I was gonna fucking die from pining after someone, I never would’ve developed feelings for him… not like I had any semblance of a choice, anyway.”
Jae blinked rapidly, attempting to make sense of it all. “So… because the person you love doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you could actually die?”
“It sounds dumb when you say it like that, but yeah.” Wonpil nodded. “Super dramatic, right?”
“Is there a way to fix this? Surely you’re not letting yourself die because of love.” Jae spoke, trying to read Wonpil’s expression. Sure, he seemed to be completely unbothered by his condition, but there was no way anyone could ever be so calm despite knowing that they would die at some point.
“Well, I could get surgery to remove it but a) I can’t afford it, b) there’s a huge risk because I’m allergic to anesthetics, and c) it would mean I won’t be able to romantically love him or anyone after the procedure.” Wonpil counted the reasons off with his right hand. “It’s a lost cause.”
The bespectacled man was silent, so Wonpil continued to speak. “Also, if the person reciprocates the patient’s feelings, then the flowers would disappear.”
“You don’t think that would work?” Jae asked, to which Wonpil merely shook his head. “Why not?”
“He’s my best friend. The only feelings he ever had for me are platonic.” Wonpil explained. “And before you ask, no, Dowoon doesn’t know and I don’t plan on telling him, either. Imagine telling your best friend that you're gonna die and it's all his fault... it would break him!”
Jae vaguely recalled Wonpil hanging out with a Yoon Dowoon, who rarely came to the cafe with Wonpil. That must be the Dowoon he was talking about, then, Jae thought to himself. After a short pause, Jae blurted out, “Does it cancel out if someone has feelings for you?”
Wonpil’s eyes widened in surprise, then he shook his head again as he regained his composure, a small smile on his lips. “You can’t save me, Coffee Boy.”
The blond spluttered, grasping fruitlessly for a reaction that wouldn’t give away his carefully-hidden feelings for Wonpil, but to no avail. Jae was incredibly flustered, his cheeks tinted pink with embarrassment. “How… how did you know?”
“Oh, please, you were always staring at me and giving me free drinks,” Wonpil said with a grin. Not very carefully-hidden, then. “You weren’t really subtle about it, you know, even Dowoonie thinks so.” At the mention of Dowoon, Wonpil coughed loudly a couple of times before clearing his throat, tears springing at the corners of his eyes again.
Seeing him like this broke Jae’s heart, and he wondered what kind of cruel god would sentence the poor guy into such an impossible situation. Wonpil was kind and sweet, it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t live a long life because of some fatal disease.
“Listen, I should probably head back,” Wonpil spoke up after a while, his voice a bit strained from all the violent coughing bouts he had. He looked even more in pain now, his hand reaching out to cover Jae’s. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“Are you sure you can get back safely?” Jae asked worriedly.
Wonpil nodded reassuringly, pointing to the parking lot nearby. “My car is over there, I think I can somewhat manage.”
The taller man was a little reluctant to let Wonpil drive in his current condition, but he knew there was no point in arguing about it. Instead, Jae stood up and offered an outstretched hand, which Wonpil took and pulled himself off of the ground.
“You know… maybe in another life, where I don’t die of some stupid fucking flower disease, things would’ve worked out,” Wonpil said, a bittersweet smile on his pale features. “I think I would’ve liked to fall in love with you instead of a guy who is the sole reason I’m dying.”
Jae stayed silent, unsure of what to say. I think I’d like that too, he thought.
Wonpil turned to leave, only to let out an exclamation, whirling around to look at Jae again. “Oh, right, I didn’t get your name. You’ve been so good to me and I didn’t even ask.”
“I’m Jae.” He said quietly.
The dark-haired man nodded at him, offering a soft smile. “Well, goodbye Jae.”
That was the last time he saw Wonpil, and the news of his death reached him two weeks later.