Work Text:
today was the day, rx and tanner were going to max and osmond's house for a double date. max and rx were coworkers, so when rx told max that he and tanner finally got together, max immediately invited them over to their house for dinner. tanner seemed actually excited to go, while rx was unethusiastic about going to their house. rx really only said yes to max because he didn't want to make tanner upset, but really, rx hated max.
rx knocked on the door with his left hand, as his other hand was busy holding tanner's. it was freezing out side, so rx and tanner were very close together, basically hugging. you could see their thin, breaths in the freezing air. finally, they heard footsteps, then locks opening, and when the door finally opened, osmond was standing there with messy hair.
"why, hello you two." osmond smiled, and then gestured them to come in.
when the two walked in, max was busy making food in the kitchen, their brown hair pulled back into a neat bun. osmond, once again, gestured them to sit down at the table where plates were set neatly.
"well, how have you guys been?" osmond sat down with them, his hands rested below his head.
tanner decided to speak first. "we've been great! how have you and max been?"
"we've been just fine," osmond did one of his creepy smiles again. "im curious though, how did you two get together?"
rx shifted his eyes to max, who was still cooking. he couldn't really see them from here, but he could see the top of their head and the smell of the food.
tanner spoke up once again, he obviously realized rx's discomfort around the topic. "we just met on a website. nothing big or romantic."
"oh, how wonderful!" osmond clapped his hands together. now that rx was somewhat more comfortable, he realized that osmond had a thick hillbilly accent. it was honestly annoying. rx slumped in his chair, he wish he hadn't come. he turned his head towards tanner, who was smiling and chatting with osmond.
"at least he's having fun." rx thought in his head.
after what felt like hours, max finally brought the food over.
max sat the food down in the middle of the table, its smell filling up rx's nose. it smelled amazing, max must really be a great cook.
when they started passing around the food, rx decided to take a bunch, as not only was he starving, but because it also looked delicious. rx grabbed the main dish, which was a casserole, scooped as much as he could, and then dropped it on his plate. basically, now everyone was watching him do it. tanner looked slightly confused, while max and osmond looked very happy about it. rx was slightly embarrassed, but decided that it wasn't that big of a deal.
he grabbed his fork, stuck the food in his mouth, and.... it tasted terrible. rx almost spit it out, but stopped himself before anyone could notice his gagging. but unfortunately, max noticed. of course they had.
"is it that good?" max chuckled and continued eating their food.
rx didn't want to say anything rude, so he just shook his head and smiled.
he decided to not eat anymore and just blame it on a stomachache. at least tanner was enjoying it, somehow.
"oh!" max said suddenly, which made everyone look at them. they smiled and continued speaking "sorry, i forgot to tell everyone here, but we have more people joining us." max wiped their mouth off with a napkin, and set it back down.
rx's stomach suddenly felt worse. he really hated meeting new people, but he knew tanner liked it, so maybe it wouldnt be too bad.
"they'll be eating dessert with us, and then leave." max got up and started grabbing ingredients for whatever dessert they were making. rx tried to think positively about max's cooking, but it was very hard.
"maybe... it won't be too bad..?" rx thought, even though he knew he was very wrong. it was going to be terrible.
after ten or so minutes, there was knocking at the door. osmond got out of his seat, walked towards the door, and opened it. there was four people there, two of them were holding hands, one was jumping up and down, and the other was standing there with her arms crossed.
while osmond and everyone were talking, rx managed to catch that the couple's names were adelhema and marsan but he couldn't hear anyone else's. osmond talked to them for a couple more minutes, and they walked in. when rx managed to see everyone up close, he realized that one of them was mars, an ex coworker that had a huge crush on rx. he slumped in his chair, more than before, making tanner realize the shift in attitude. tanner looked pretty concerned.
"are you ok-" tanner was cut off before he could finish his sentence.
"RX!!" mars basically squealed, she sat in the seat next to rx, taking osmond's spot.
"i havent seen you in ages!" mars smiled. "how have you been?"
rx felt the sudden urge to jump out of the window and run away forever, but he didn't, obviously. instead he stayed, trying to get enough energy to respond to mars.
finally he spoke. "ive been good, how have you been?"
mars' eyes basically lit up at that response. she then smiled and clapped her hands together.
"oh, ive been just great!" mars started twirling her hair and batting her eyelashes. "ive been missing you of course."
"yeah, thats a no," tanner said. he got up, moved rx into his spot, and then took rx's spot. "im sorry, but rx has a boyfriend."
mars looked disappointed, but decided to back off for now.
rx looked at osmond and max who were talking to adelhelma and marsan.
"guess max forgot about the dessert, thank god." rx thought to himself.
then his attention shifted to the girl from earlier, that was crossing her arms at the door. she was sitting next to him, watching her phone and chewing gum, she looked very bored.
he decided to chat with her, cause why not? mars and tanner were busy eyeing each other, and everyone else was talking, so why not? right?
"hey, whats your name?" rx asked.
she looked up from her phone. "wellwalker." then started staring at it again.
rx was hoping she would say something else, but she just kept staring at her phone. this was very awkward.
a beep could be heard from the distance.
max's attention turned back to the kitchen when the beeping started going off. rx assumed that the beeping meant that whatever was in the oven, was done. sadly, it seems like max didnt forget about making dessert. max quickly ran over to the kitchen, probably hoping not to burn anything, though it would be better if they did. maybe it could actually taste somewhat decent if it was burnt.
max opened the oven, and rx could tell that a hot, blast of air was released from the oven by max shrinking back once they did. max grabbed the two gloves that were placed on the counter beside the oven, and pulled, what looked like a cake, out. rx didn't want to say anything, but the cake did look a little green. they then proceeded to walk to the table and place the cake down. wellwalker's face scrunched up in disgust, not even bothering to hid her obvious distaste for it.
osmond walked over to the kitchen, while marsan and adelhelma sat down across from wellwalker and max. once osmond came back with a knife, he sat down and started cutting the cake into pieces.
rx, decided not to eat his cake, and instead watch wellwalker.
wellwalker grabbed her slice and then took a small bite of it. her face twisted into disgust, and she immediately spit the cake out.
"yeahhhh, im not eating that." wellwalker said, pushing the cake away from her. from her reaction, rx knew exactly what it was going to taste like.
"i gotta agree, this does not taste good at all." marsan chmed in.
max's face suddenly became enraged, which was completely different from their usual happy-smiley attitude.
"what?!" max said angrily. "how does it not taste good?!"
"gotta be honest here," adelhelma said, giving max a deadpan look. "max, nobody asked you to put your feet in the cake."
two seats away, rx could see mars cracking up, try to force down a laugh. it obviously wasn't working, because a few seconds later, mars burst out laughing. mars' laugh ended up spreading to everyone, including rx, but rx tried to hide it.
"thats not funny!" max said, it looked like they were about to pop a blood vessel.
max then shifted their gaze to rx, he knew what they were going to ask and why. max was clearly asking him because he hadnt talked once, besides osmond, but theyre dating.
max put on one of their fake smiles again. "be honest. you love it, right?"
rx was honestly done with this. he was tired of trying to be nice to max for tanner's sake.
"im going to be honest too, your food is terrible."
max's mouth was wide open, and rx could see them getting angrier. rx continued on.
"and i actually didn't have a stomachache, i just didn't want to eat your disgusting food."
instead of continuing their rage on rx, max instead shifted back to wellwalker. "this is all your fault!"
"hmhm, yeah sure," wellwalker said. she was to chewing gum and staring at her phone. "it's not my fault your food tastes like shit."
rx has definitely never seen someone this angry before. max looked like a boiling kettle that was ready to explode at any moment, and it was honestly fun to watch.
while everyone was laughing, he saw max pick up the cake with both hands. before they could do anything though, wellwalker stood up and grabbed the other side of the cake.
"what are you doing?" wellwalker asked.
"i was about to throw it at you," max said, trying to pull the cake away from wellwalker. "but then you just HAD to stop me."
rx did not expect what happened next, a tug-a-war between max and wellwalker over a cake, that was about to fall over at any second. a couple of seconds passed and when max was just about to pull the cake back, wellwalker let go of the other side. the cake went fly towards max, and smashed right into max's face. the disgusting frosting and cake pieces smearing down all over their face. everyone stood there in shock.
max grabbed chucks of the cake off of their face, and dropped it on the floor. everyone could see max's face now, and it was not pretty.
"GET OUT!!" max yelled, pointing towards the door.
"gladly." wellwalker grabbed everything she owned and walked out the door.
max then turned to everyone else, who were sitting there in shocked silence.
"YOU GUYS TOO! OUT!" max yelled.
everyone quickly got up and walked out the door, of course, except for osmond. rx walked out of the door, closed it behind him, and saw everyone standing there.
"i think we should go somewhere else." adelhelma said, her hand now back in marsan's.
"agreed," wellwalker's arms were crossed again. "that person is a total bitch. i wont be talking to them ever again."
"i mean... you did kinda insult their cake." tanner added.
"heyyyy," wellwalker rolled her eyes. "its not my fault it was so bad. i was just being honest."
"how about we get pizza instead? ill pay." marsan said. he was now on his phone looking for the neartest pizza place.
"sounds great!" mars, said jumping up and down. looks like she's happy.
then everyone left max and osmond's house for pizza, and decided to never hang out with either of them again.
