Chapter Text
Fugo hadn't believed it for the longest time, no, more like he didn't want to believe it, but, he had a crush on his friend...
He knew it would never work out, for many reasons. Firstly, they fought, a lot, secondly, he verbally abused him and sometimes even got physical...
He didn't want to though, and lastly, he hated these feelings, he was raised on the fact romantic relationships between two of the same gender was
gross, weird and wrong. And he didn't want to be even more of an outcast than he already was.
But then, he was also dirty...tainted by another man, which fueled his hatred, he didn't want to be like that horrendous monster, so he tried to push
these thoughts away, but, with Narancia...He couldn't, something about the older boy just broke all the rules he set for himself.
Fugo had tried to steer Narancia away, tried to get him to hate him, nothing worked though...he kept coming back, he told Fugo it was because he cared for him and
because Fugo was his "best friend". It pissed him off, but then...also made him happy, he loved the idea of how Narancia cared for him no matter how much he verbally
or physically abused him, but then it felt sickening like it was an abusive relationship that Fugo had Narancia trapped in because he was scared of him.
That wasn't it, was it?
Was...Was it?
Fugo stared at the book on his desk, Finnegans Wake.
Such a complicated book, Fugo could grasp some of it, but other parts frustrated him.
It was a never-ending cycle.
Sighing, the blonde placed the book back on his shelf, he didn't want to think about a damn book right now.
He walked over to his bed, Bruno had tried his best to give them all rooms that teens would have, want, to make them happy and feel normal,
Fugo's was painted a deep burgundy, it had fairy lights hanging around the corners, each a different colour. His window covered by blackout curtain, and Jimi Hendrix
posters put up, along with some others, like a Grease one, or the Titanic, as well as a cork board that had postcards, polaroids, poems, notes and a schedule.
His bed was simple, a daybed shoved into the corner, at an angle, it had a light green blanket, some creme coloured pillows and laying across it was a strawberry
patterned night robe, Fugo adored wearing it, it was so soft...and smelled like Narancia, since Narancia did laundry last, and he always used a different detergent,
they all did when they took turns.
Why was he thinking about this now of all times?
He sighed, grabbing the robe and slipping it on over his sweater and shorts.
Fugo clenched the fuzzy fabric in his hands, bringing it up and rubbing it against his cheeks, the smell was so nice...It always smelled so citrusy, so...
Narancia, he smiled subconsciously, and sighed, falling against his bed, he felt like a dumbass grinning like this. But...He can't help it, even if he hates
it, hates himself, he didn't hate Narancia...No Narancia was too good to be hated. He hated himself for doing any harm to the older.
As Fugo wallowed in his thoughts, curling in on himself as he smelt his robe, he heard a knock and froze.
Who was at the door?
Sitting up, he moved his bangs from his eyes, and went to the door, opening it, and stared at the person who had knocked,
"Narancia,"
He hadn't expected to see the teen he was thinking about to be at his door,
It...Threw him off, completely.
"Hey, Fugo! So uh-- I can't sleep? heheh...Uhm, can we hang for a bit?"
Fugo stared at Narancia, his brain was behind, going way too fast at first before his eyes lidded,
"Yeah."
'Woooow Fugo-- Not even a full sentence? Just YEAH? God...'
Fugo mentally slapped himself, and shook his head as he noticed Narancia was standing there awkwardly, so, he moved out of the way and let the bubbly teen in
"Soooooo, Fugo,"
He watched him sit down on his bed, stretching out with a grin,
"-Want to talk about anything? Play a game? Watch some movies?"
"You came to me, shouldn't you know what you want to do?"
Narancia's face flushed as if he didn't realise that, and Fugo chuckled quietly and shut the door
"Uh-uhm-- Well, I was planning on you deciding, because welll,,, You usually don't like what I want to do."
"Mhm,"
Fugo sighed, and sat down next to the older, both now sitting on his bed thinking of what to actually do.
"Hmmmmmmmm, Maybe we can watch a movie Fugo!"
"A movie? And which one would that be."
"Mhm,,, maybeeee, Blair Witch? Edward Scissorhands?"
"I have seen Blair Witch with Abbacchio, so let's do Edward Scissorhands."
"Okay! Lemme go get it from Mista, 'kay?"
Fugo watched the older run out of the room, cringing as his door hit the wall,
"OI! Be careful with the fucking door!"
"Sorrry!"
He sighed at the lack of care from Narancia, and grabbed one of the pillows, holding it close before shifting into the corner of his bed.
"What a pain..."
He sighs, once again, as Narancia bounces back in with a VHS tape,
"Okay!! I got it Fugo!"
He grinned and began to look around Fugo's room,
"What are you doing?"
"Dude, where the hell is your TV and tape player?"
"I don't have a TV."
Narancia's head whipped around,
"WHAT?! What happened to the one you had??"
"I broke it."
"Ohhhhh, Of course. Okay makes sense,"
Fugo could feel the rage bubbling, but he let out an angry sigh instead,
"Why don't we just...Go to the living room?"
"Because what if we are loud! How 'bout my room?"
Narancia grinned, looking like as if he just solved world hunger.
"Isn't your room a mess?"
"Wha-- Of COURSE! I cleaned it yesterday!! Bruno told me if I didn't, he would clean it. Which I don't want."
"Whatever lets just head that way before I change my mind."
Narancia pouted at Fugo's words, but then smiled, and walked over to him,
"Come on! Up up!"
He began to pull at Fugo's arm, grinning like an idiot,
Fugo wished he could punch his damn feelings in the face, if emotions had a face, with a sigh, he reluctantly stood up, earning a happy hum
from Narancia as they left to his room.
Upon reaching it, well, Narancia hadn't lied, his room was...kinda clean. Still pretty disorganized.
"Okay! So go sit on my couch-- I will start up the tape! Mista probably didn't rewind the tape so it might take a bit."
Narancia sat on the ground, biting his lip as he began to rewind the tape.
Fugo stared at him, watching from the couch as the raven-haired male focused on the tape...He made such a cute face when focusing--
'FUCK,'
He could feel his face heat up and glanced away,
Why does this always happen? He literally is going to murder his feelings, right here, right now.
"Okay okay! Done! I actually did it by myself! See?!"
Narancia jumped up and showed Fugo that he didn't break the tape,
"Oh...Uh, good job."
Fugo didn't seem very impressed but gave him a small smile to encourage the older's excitement over such a...small thing.
But whatever,
"Okay! It's in-- Imma get the blanket in case we get cold, 'kay? Well,,, You have your fuzzy robe so I guess its more for me!"
He grinned as he got the comforter off his bed, wrapping it around himself before jumping over the couch to sit next to Fugo.
The two were surprisingly really quiet for the movie, Fugo didn't find it too interesting, and he was pretty sure Narancia was asleep,
And he was,
Fugo stared down at the older, who was propped on his shoulder.
He swallowed thickly, and around, putting his hand in Narancia's hair hesitantly, and smiled.
He always thought Narancia's hair would feel kinda, gross, but it was just kinda tatty, but it felt clean.
Fugo yawned, closing his eyes before leaning his head on Narancia's, staring at whatever was happening on the screen.
...Maybe his feelings weren't so bad after all.