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Terushima sat in the corner of his bed with a blanket pulled up to his waist. For what seemed like the millionth time, he pulled out his phone to check for any sort of message. 7:35 it read. He and Tadashi were supposed to meet up thirty-five minutes ago. It wasn’t like him to just not show up without a single explanation. Terushima sighed as he tapped on the contact, deciding he should at least send a text to the freckled boy before calling. He might be caught up at practice again. Yuuji knew that Tadashi had been working extra hard on his serves.
Hey babe where are you? Thought you were coming over at 7, did Daichi make you stay late again?
It seemed like Tadashi was staying later and later for practice. It was fine honestly, sure Yuuji missed his boyfriend dearly but if it meant Yamaguchi would improve his techniques then it would all be worth it. As much as he loved his little freckled boy, he knew Yama only wanted to get better and Terushima fully supported that. Yuuji stood up from his bed and stretched himself out before going downstairs to grab himself a water bottle. When he returned he heard the familiar ping coming from his phone. He launched himself towards it, hoping to god that Tadashi was on his way and wouldn’t reschedule their date again.
Hey yeah sorry stayed late again. We can hangout tomorrow?
Of course, this was happening for the fifth time this week. Yuuji frowned at his phone before typing out his response. He sighed yet again. This just kept on happening. Every time they made plans to do something Tadashi always made an excuse to skip out. For a brief moment, Yuuji got a sinking feeling in his stomach. In the past year since he started dating Yamaguchi was never this distant. It started off slow. A missed call here. A kiss too brief there. Yuuji could feel him slipping through his fingers and no matter what he did to reach out, nothing seemed to work. Yuuji thought back to when exactly Tadashi had started pulling away from him and from his knowledge it all started that fateful day two months ago.
“Hey Yuuji I—I can’t hang out with you today. Tsukki just broke up with Kuroo and he’s having a hard time dealing with it. You understand right?” Tadashi spoke timidly, his voice shaking ever so slightly.
“Awe Freckles-kun of course I understand. You take good care of Glasses-kun alright? Don’t worry we can always make up for it tomorrow?”
Except that tomorrow didn’t come for another two weeks. Not that Yuuji held it against his boyfriend or anything. He knew how painful a breakup could be and he understood that Tsukishima needed a friend right now. That had been two months ago. Just how much time did Terushima have to wait until he was able to have his boyfriend back? He knew it was a selfish thought, but he wished Tsukishima would just move on so that he could have his precious Tadashi back.
Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it. Little did Yuuji Terushima know just how true that statement was going to be for him.
Another week had gone by and Teru was absolutely furious. No, he was terrifyingly livid. The text message he received from Yamaguchi earlier cancelling their plans taunted him in the back of his head.
Teru had decided to surprise Yama at practice and maybe even practice with him for a bit. Somehow, he convinced Misaki to pose as his mother and pull him out of school early. The excitement of finally seeing his boyfriend’s improvement in his serves had Terushima grinning from ear to ear. He entered the gym with gusto. “FRECKLES-KUN YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR HAS ARRIVED!” He yelled out with his eyes closed as he bowed down in a dramatic manner. When he rose and opened his eyes, he was met by a very amused ginger haired boy and an equally amused raven-haired boy. “Uhm? Terushima? What are you doing here?” Hinata spoke while trying to keep his laughter at bay. “Oh, sorry Hinata, Kageyama! I was hoping Tadashi would be here. Where is he? In the bathroom or something?” Hinata looked towards Kageyama and then back to Terushima, confusion written all over his features. All at once time seemed to slow down as Hinata spoke again. “What are you talking about Teru-kun? Yamaguchi left right after school.”
It felt as if Teru had swallowed sawdust. He swallowed thickly before he tried to gather his thoughts enough to speak. Maybe he had misunderstood what Dashi meant in his text message. Maybe he was practicing with his mentor instead. Maybe, just maybe. “Oh—oh ok that’s weird he texted me he was practicing his serves again, so I assumed he was practicing with Daichi.” Kageyama scoffed, “Please I wish he would stay and practice more. He’s always leaving right after school with Tsukki and it’s really been hurting our practice games.” And that was the final straw for Terushima. He gave a very vague excuse to the two boys before sprinting out of the gym and ran towards Yamaguchi’s home.
Once he arrived at the Yamaguchi household, Teru didn’t hesitate in pulling out the spare key they kept hidden in one of the pots in the small garden Ms. Yamaguchi had on their porch. His hands were shaking. Normally he would knock and wait until Tadashi came to the door so he could tackle hug him. Not this time, however. No, this time he wanted to have the element of surprise on his side. It didn’t slip past him that neither of Tadashi’s parents were home, but downstairs lights were still off. Terushima knew what that meant. Of course, he knew. The downstairs lights being off while Yamaguchi’s parents were gone meant Tadashi was trying to pretend as if he weren’t home so his parents wouldn’t immediately look for him, giving him time to hide a certain blonde in his closet before they could find him. Teru entered the house as quietly as humanly possible. He already knew which floorboards made loud squeaky noises. He knew this house like the back of his hand so he maneuvered himself around the cluttered furniture easily. He strained his ears to hear anything coming from upstairs. His heart clenched as he hoped with all his might that he would just be met with silence. Reality is such a cruel thing. It never fails to crush every last bit of hope inside of you. That’s exactly how Terushima felt when he heard soft moans coming from upstairs. He rushed as fast as he could without making too much noise. Judging by the sounds coming from sounds coming from Tadashi’s room, he shouldn’t have bothered. His fist closed around the knob of the door and he froze. Terushima stood outside the door hearing the sounds of pleasure coming from his darling lover that he wasn’t the cause of. Tears sprung into his eyes without warning. The hand not holding the doorknob slapped upon his lips, trying desperately to hold back the sob that threatened to bubble over. With his last bit of strength Terushima turned the knob and flung the door open. The door slammed against the wall with a loud thud, causing Tsukishima to jump away from Yamaguchi as fast as he could. Tadashi whined at the loss of touch but immediately clamped his mouth shut when his eyes landed on his boyfriend in the doorway.
Terushima’s knees gave out beneath him and he crumbled to the floor. Sobs racked through his entire body as he kept screaming “WHY” over and over again. Tsukishima had quickly dressed himself and tried to sneak past the older boy sobbing on the ground. Before he could make it out, however, he was pulled to the ground and was instantly being pummeled. “YOU GODDAMN BASTARD!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!! HE WAS MINE GODDAMN IT! I FUCKING LOVED HIM!” With each outburst, Terushima landed blow after blow. Yamaguchi jumped off the bed and tied the bed sheet around his waist. He immediately pulled Terushima off Tsukki and held his face gently in his hands. Terushima slapped his hands away and growled angrily at him. Yamaguchi’s eyes were filled to the brim with tears. Tsukishima stood up and ran as fast as he could while Yuuji was distracted.
Yuuji couldn’t even focus on a single thing. His mind was going a thousand miles per second. He couldn’t catch his breath. The air around him felt thick and it overwhelmed him. He dry heaved into the carpet, his body spasming erratically. Yamaguchi stood frozen in horror, unable to console his lover who laid on the ground gasping for breath. He knew Yuuji had panic attacks, he would get them sometimes when his parents would fight over something, but Yamaguchi had never seen them get this bad before. Yama so desperately wished he could move but his body wouldn’t listen. After what seemed like hours, Yuuji finally tried to stand up. His legs felt like jello and he could barely make out his surroundings. He stumbled slightly and suddenly there was a hand underneath his elbow steadying him. He looked into the honey eyes of the freckled boy he had loved so much. The boy who stole his heart and shattered it into pieces. Teru didn’t have the strength in him to push Yamaguchi away. Instead, he let the younger boy led him to the couch in the corner of him room. They sat down not speaking for a long time before Yamaguchi finally broke the silence.
“Yuuji…I am so sorry. I—I know what you saw was bad but I promise you baby, it will never happen again I promise,” Tadashi’s voice sounded strained and raw with emotions. The tears in his eyes kept falling down his cheeks. Terushima looked up at him finally. Seeing the tears fall down his love’s face made him weep a new wave of tears. Instantly, Yamaguchi was at his side, holding his face tenderly in his hands. “Don’t cry baby it’s okay. I promise it’ll be okay. It’ll never happen again Yuuji. I’m so sorry please…please forgive me.” His voice broke at the end. Tadashi stared into Yuuji’s eyes, searching for the forgiveness he didn’t deserve but so hopelessly wanted.
Terushima’s hands rose to touch Tadashi’s, his fingers curling around them and pulling them away from his face. The look on his face was of pure anguish. “Of course I forgive you Tadashi. I know it won’t happen again.” Tadashi smiled, leaning forward to capture his lover’s lips but was met with a hand instead. “Yamaguchi…don’t.” Terushima looked directly into the eyes of the one who broke him, with his heart completely shattered in his chest he continued to speak. “I know it won’t happen again because this…whatever we had between us, is over. I never loved anyone as much as I loved you Tadashi. You were my dream…but it’s time I wake up now. Goodbye.” Terushima stood up and walked out of the house without a single glance behind him. He couldn’t look back now. Looking back was too painful, looking forward was too scary. For the first time ever, Terushima looked down at the ground; a final tear escaping his eyes. Terushima Yuuji had loved Yamaguchi Tadashi but sometimes…love isn’t enough to keep someone in your life. Sometimes the person you love the most just becomes somebody that you used to know.