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Barbara felt her mood dip low upon waking, far more than usual that morning. She laid in bed, one arm thrown across her pillow above her head. A heavy sigh pushed past her lips, her eyes falling closed. She wanted to be upbeat and positive, the healing influence that people needed in their lives. Some days, that seemed an insurmountable goal.
A second later, her eyes snapped back open. She slapped her cheeks. “Alright! That’s enough of that, Barbara! There’s work to be done today!”
With that brief surge of motivation, Barbara tossed back the blankets and threw herself headfirst into her daily routine. When the depressing thoughts started to wiggle their way back into her head, she banished them with a song, humming the folk tunes sung often around Mondstadt, as well as a few that she made up herself. In no time, she felt like her old self again.
She’d made it to the plaza in front of the statue of the Anemo Archon, before which she paused. Head bent, she prayed for the strength to spread happiness to the people of Mondstadt, as she did every day. After she finished, she lingered still, gazing up at the statue’s face. The bad mood from before started to return, and she was utterly mortified to feel such a way before the statue of Lord Barbatos. She ducked her head, ashamed to look her beloved Archon in his face--or his representation’s face, rather.
“Barbara? What’s got you down?”
“Oh!” Startled, Barbara jumped three inches in the air. She spun in a whirl of skirts and wide eyes--her sister. “Je-- er, Master Jean. Nothing at all’s got me down. I’m merely… contemplating all that Lord Barbatos has done for us, is all…”
Jean looked uncertain, but she merely nodded and didn’t press her. “Well, if you’re sure. Don’t push yourself too hard. May the wind’s guide you.”
Those were rich words coming from her workaholic sister. Barbara resisted the urge to pout and shoot the same back at her. In the end, she only smiled brightly and nodded, bringing a closed fist to her chest.
“May the Anemo Archon be with you.”
When they parted, Barbara’s smile slipped from her lips. Her sister truly did so much for Mondstadt every day, and she was proud to be her younger sister--tactician, swordswoman, all around kind, wonderful person. These were things Barbara could never hope to surpass Jean in. Even being an idol, Barbara realized, didn’t seem to be quite the achievement she’d been hoping it could be.
She sighed and turned toward the cathedral.
Only to ram straight into Rosaria.
“Ouch!” She stumbled back a few steps from the rebound, rubbing her head. Once recovered, she blinked once up at the taller nun before bowing deeply. “I’m so sorry! I must’ve had my head riding on dandelion seeds this morning!”
Rosaria said nothing, arms crossed and gazing down at Barbara for such a long time that her cheeks glowed red under the scrutiny. It was so hard to tell what the other was thinking sometimes. She raised her head.
“Sister Rosaria…?” she spoke cautiously, expecting a lion’s fang of retaliation in return.
Inexplicably, Rosaria’s face softened, stunning Barbara.
“It’s no good to lie if you’re feeling down, you know.”
Babara shook her head harder than necessary. “I’m not! I’m really not. I’m just…” She fake-yawned, stretching her arms above her head. “...soooo sleepy. That’s all.”
Rosaria pinched Barbara’s cheeks. She yelped.
“Sh-shishter Rosharia!” she protested as Rosaria played single-woman tug-a-war on her cheeks. When they were released, she rubbed them pitifully. “Hey, that was--.”
“Aren’t you the one always saying it’s bad for a nun to lie to others?” Rosaria cut across her, settling a hand on her hip.
Hearing her own words shot back at her, Barbara flushed. “W-well yes, but…”
“So tell me what’s bothering you. Get it off your chest and you can go to your day as your usual perky self.”
She hesitated. “I…” It was hard to put into words, and the fact that Rosaria looked at her with such an attentive look made her nervous and fidgety. She tumbled her fingers together, swaying under the other’s keen gaze. Although intimidating, there was something beautiful in that stern, appraising look--or maybe the beauty fed into the intimidation.
Barbara knocked the toe of her shoe into the ground. Oh Barbatos, help her speak!
Eventually the words she wanted bubbled up to the surface of her mind. She straightened, locking her hands behind her back and rocking up onto her toes, before dropping her heels solidly back into the ground.
“Nothing in particular. I mean it, I don’t really know. Some days are just… so difficult to smile like I should.” She hung her head, lower lip trembling. “And my sister-- oh! No, I mean Master Jean, I didn’t mean… anyway.”
Barbara flustered and quickly shook it away. “I see Jean, and she’s always helping everyone! The whole town. And I…” She lifted her face to the sky. The sun just barely poked up over the statue’s head, and she lifted her own hand to block the rays from her eyes. “...I can’t even keep the smile on a single person’s face. Not even my own.”
Rosaria’s hands reached for her. She flinched back, thinking that she was going to pinch her cheeks again.
“W-wait, no, no don’t--.” Her cheeks were left unpinched. Rosaria’s arms slipped over her shoulders and around her neck, bringing Barbara in so that her cheek rested against her chest. Barbara blinked rapidly. “Huh…?”
“There’s nothing wrong with feeling down sometimes. We’re all human. And that means you can’t expect to make everyone happy all the time, either. That’s just unreasonable. We’ve all got problems.” Rosaria squeezed her closer. “As for the Acting Grand Master… she’s her, and you’re you. You can only do what’s in your ability to do… and I know for a fact that everyone around Mondstadt looks forward to seeing you. Your songs are always in their minds.”
True, Barbara did hear her songs hummed by the people around the city. She sighed, feeling as if a heavy burden was blown off her shoulders. After a moment’s hesitation, she tentatively wrapped her arms around Rosaria’s waist. When the other didn’t slap them away, she sunk deeper into the embrace. She heard the steady beat of Rosaria’s heart beneath her ear, like a comforting drum urging the song back into Barbara’s soul.
“Thank you, Sister Rosaria,” she said quietly. “I actually do feel better after saying it out loud.”
“Don’t mention it--and don’t let everything get bottled up like that in the future, alright?” Finally Rosaria released her and stepped back. Barbara let her arms fall to her sides.
“Right.” Twirling once, Barbara held a hand up in her signature ‘V’ beside her face. “I’m ready to go!”
Rosaria rolled her eyes, surprisingly good-natured for once with a softer line of her mouth. Barbara giggled, her soul riding warm air currents in the sky.