Work Text:
They were hanging out in Kate, Eva and Farrah’s apartment, the group laughing as they talked and played party games, all starting to get tipsy with the various drinks Farrah and Mattie prepared. Chess was sitting on the couch, laying her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder, a beer in hand as she watched her friends talk, a small smile on her face and a nice feeling on her stomach. Maybe it was the alcohol speaking, but she felt happy, a nostalgic happy. She felt like they were back in college, not knowing what to do with their lives, a bit unsure of what would happen next, lost but happy.
Lost. The word echoed in Chess’s head, loud enough to be annoying, maybe even hurt. Everything had happened so fast, her life went by and all of the sudden she was there; an adult, with responsibilities and on the way to get the job of her dreams, nearly engaged to the love of her life, who still made her feel like a teenager who was discovering herself. She was happy, but it was all too much. And the feeling suppressed almost everything else, she was practically numb.
“Love, are you okay?” Cairo asked her sweetly, noticing her girlfriend's sudden shift of mood.
“Yeah, I’m just a bit tired.” Chess smiled, looking her in the eyes.
“Do you want to go home? We can call an Uber.”
“No, it’s okay, I don’t want to keep you from having fun.”
“We’ve been here for hours, I’ve had my fun.” Cairo caressed her hand. “Let’s go home.”
--
Cairo felt a bit dizzy, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t notice her girlfriend being a bit distant. Chess hadn’t talked much that day, mainly just watching the rest of them have fun, and barely having over a beer and a few small sips of each of Cairo’s different fruity drinks. She had been doing that for the last few weeks, and Cairo was slowly getting more worried, noticing the other woman getting more and more quiet. She didn’t know what to do about it, but she knew she wanted to help.
“Fran? Are you okay?” Cairo asked her girlfriend as they lay in their bed, Cairo’s hands sleepily running through Chess’s hair.
“Yeah, I’m just a bit tired. The new job is taking a while to adapt to.” she smiled and felt a kiss to her head.
“I love you, and I’m here for you, whatever you need me for, alright?” Cairo told her, and Chess nodded, laying her head on her girlfriend's chest.
“I love you too, Cai, so much.”
--
When Chess got home, she nearly broke down crying. The day at work was overwhelming and tiring, and she just wanted to disappear. Everything was too much, so all she did was change and slip under the covers, trying to sleep and tune out the world. Cairo found her curled up and shaking, unaware of her girlfriend’s arrival. She went to the kitchen, boiling some water to make Chess some tea, figuring that she hadn’t eaten anything since she got home, since there were no signs of dirty or recently washed dishes, or even take out wrappers.
As she brought the tea to the side of their bed, Cairo noticed her girlfriend sobbing quietly, panicked and even more curled up.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay.” she ran to her, wrapping her arms around her.
“Cai?”
“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here. I’m here, Fran, I’m here.” Cairo reassured her, taking her in her arms.
“I’m sorry, it’s just- it’s too- it’s too much, I can’t-” Chess tried to say something but couldn’t complete her thought.
“It’s okay, you’re alright.” Cairo’s voice was sweet and slowly calmed her down enough to say something.
“I thought, that after everything, I, I would be okay with myself, but I’m not. It’s stupid, but I just, can’t.” Chess told her.
“It’s not stupid, Chess. I don’t know how to help you, but I promise I’m here to help you whenever you need, with whatever you need, okay?” Chess nodded and they kiss.
“Thank you. I love you, Cai.”
“I love you too, Frannie.”