Chapter Text
Kamijou Hiroki was a man who could be described as many things. He was an assistant professor of Japanese Literature at Mitsuhashi University, working under the brilliant (at least on paper) Miyagi Yoh. He was known by his students as 'Kamijou the Demon'. He was a prideful man who loved literature and fought anyone who didn't appreciate the subject.
Yes, Kamijou Hiroki was many things. But if they saw him right now, face buried in his hands as he cried while sitting at a park in the middle of the night, the only word one could use to describe him would be 'miserable'. Or maybe 'drunk', judging by the many empty beer bottles next to him.
There was a good reason for the usually prideful man to be like this. That reason was the typhoon called 'Kusama Nowaki', his lover of five years who, four months ago, had just up and disappeared. Where? To do what? Who knows. Definitely not Hiroki, who never saw this coming.
Sure, Nowaki had always been like a cat, coming and going as he liked, but not for such a long time. Not four months, and not without some form of contact. A call, a text message, an email... Hell, he'd settle for fax even, if only to know he's okay and alive somewhere.
But nothing came.
Usually, Hiroki could deal with this. He'd go to work, teach his classes, work on his theses, deal with paperwork, and come home so tired he barely noticed the emptiness in his apartment. On the days when he did notice it, he managed to gather enough optimism to think Nowaki would end up coming back home sooner or later. That maybe tomorrow he'd wake up to a text on his phone, maybe a missed call, telling him he's back, and then everything would be alright again.
But other days, the emptiness seemed unbearable. Those days, he ended up staring unseeingly at the papers he was holding, doubts running through his mind.
'Is this my fault?'
'Did I do something to annoy him?'
'Does he not want me anymore?'
Those questions ended up driving him out of the empty home more often than not, walking towards a nearby bar to try and drown them in alcohol until the anxiety in his chest lessened.
Though this time alcohol wasn't helping him. Instead of making him forget, he was getting worse and worse by the second. Suddenly the ambient at the bar seemed suffocating, the chattering of the people too loud for his ears, and he knew he needed to leave. To go outside and breathe because somehow, the air inside the bar was lacking.
And that's how he found himself in a park in the middle of the night, sobbing and completely miserable.
'I should go home,' the rational part of him thought. 'I have work tomorrow so I should sleep this off, or at least break down somewhere not so public. If anyone saw me...' But the tears refused to stop, and his body refused to move. He just stayed there, trying to breathe through the sobs as he attempted to calm down.
"Kamijou...sensei?"
Startled, Hiroki looked up. Standing in front of him was a young man with chocolate brown hair and green, equally startled eyes, who was holding full bags from the nearby supermarket.
"Kamijou-sensei, are you okay?" Asked the young man again, surprise being replaced by concern as he took in Hiroki's state.
Hiroki stared. Going by what he was calling him, this must be one of his students, but his muddled mind didn't allow him to recognize who this person was. He just knew he was familiar and somehow... this person was safe.
Unbeknownst to him, his subconscious mind had recognized him as the guy always accompanying Akihiko whenever he crossed paths with the author. His mind had linked him with Akihiko. And with Akihiko being someone he trusted, this meant he was deemed safe by association. So when the young man nervously sat down next to him and offered him a water bottle, he accepted it without hesitation.
"Thank you, uh..." he mumbled after he'd downed half the bottle, trying to recall his name.
"Takahashi Misaki," he awkwardly introduced himself. "I'm- well, it doesn't matter. Are... are you okay? Do you, um, need help to return home?"
Hiroki shook his head. Just thinking of his empty apartment was making his chest clench again in pain.
Why did he have to be caught like this, when he was such a mess?
"This is all Nowaki's fault," he mumbled suddenly.
"Sorry?"
"Nowaki!" He exclaimed, getting up and pacing in his agitation. "That bastard just went and disappeared on me! Can you believe it?!"
Misaki was looking bewildered and trying to calm him down, but Hiroki didn't notice. He was a chatty drunk, especially when he was with someone he deemed 'safe'. As he was with someone safe, and needed to get the accumulated frustration out of his chest, he did as his drunken mind demanded of him and ranted.
"Do you think it's normal? To just stop appearing one day, no call or text message to explain where you are? It isn't, isn't it?!" He demanded, looking at Misaki with a frightful glare that made the younger man flinch.
"W-well, that's certainly strange-"
"Isn't it?! And it's been four months. Four! We've been together for five years and he disappears for four months! Why? Just... why?" Hiroki sat back down, burying his face in his hands once again as his anger turned into misery. "Where did he go? What is he doing? Is he okay? Was it my fault?" Tears made their reappearance, but he didn't have the energy to stop them.
A hand brushed his shoulder, the movement unsure, and Hiroki lifted his head to give a tired, teary look at the other.
"I can't bear to return home," he confessed. "It was our home. And normally I can manage to return there without thinking about Nowaki, but some days... some days it's so empty, and I just don't have the energy to hope. To believe he'll be coming back." A broken chuckle escaped his lips as he lifted his head to look at the dark sky, dark like Nowaki's hair and eyes, tears still falling from his eyes. "I'm pathetic, aren't I? I despise people who act only on his feelings. I feel people should be logical and think before they act. But now look at me. I can't help it... No matter how much I try to be logical, I can't help how I feel."
Silence fell between them, Hiroki not looking away from the sky.
"U-um, I don't think sensei is pathetic," Misaki's hesitant words brought Hiroki's attention back to him, brown meeting green.
"I mean," continued Misaki, "we're just human. We can ignore our feelings, but there are moments when we just... can't. Because we're human, we have hearts, and our feelings don't just suddenly vanish when we stop seeing the person we love. Isn't it normal to be sad or scared if someone you love disappears? Especially if they do it without an explanation, leaving you with no way to know what happened or if they're okay? The worry, the anguish... In my opinion, if you truly love him, they are natural feelings. The strange thing would be to be able to act rationally in this situation." Misaki suddenly blushed slightly and looked away. "Or, um, at least I think so," he awkwardly finished.
Hiroki stared at the young man beside him.
'If I truly love him, these are natural feelings... isn't it?'
Letting out a sigh, Hiroki ruffled Misaki's hair, getting a squeak of surprise in response.
"You're a good kid," he said with a slight smile.
'It seems I needed to hear that.'
"I still don't wanna go home," he murmured as he stood up, staggering now that he didn't righteous anger to help him walk straight. "I should call Akihiko. Maybe he'll let me crash at his..."
Fumbling, he managed to get his phone and open his contact list before it slipped from his hands. Cursing, he bent down to pick it only to be saved by Misaki from crashing face-first into the dirt.
"Ah, please, let me," Misaki said, helping the professor stand up before picking the phone. Only to blink in surprise when he saw the contact name selected.
"'Usami Akihiko'? You know Usagi-san?!"
"Dunno who this Usagi-san is," Hiroki answered, taking his phone back, "But if you mean Usami the novelist then yeah. We're childhood friends, lived in front of each other."
"Oh, that's surprising and actually kind of cool- but anyway, uh, Usag- er, Usami-san is on a business trip and won't be returning for a while..."
"Is that so?" Hiroki sighed. Figures. "How'd you know?"
"I'm his, uh, housemate."
"What?" Hiroki exclaimed. "Akihiko is living with someone? With you? For how long?"
"It's been three years now..."
"Really? Huh..." Hiroki stared at the sky and then suddenly smiled. "I'm glad."
"Huh?"
"Akihiko is the kind of person who doesn't let people easily in his heart," Hiroki explained. "To hear he's actually living with someone... I'm glad. He must really like you, Takahashi-kun." He didn't see the intense blush in Misaki's face at his words.
"Still, that leaves me with the problem... Maybe I should try with professor Miyagi- ah, but he was busy tonight, wasn't he? Seems like I'll have to return home after all..."
"Erm..."
"What?"
"Well, Usami-san would have no problem with you taking the guest room right? So, why don't you do that anyway? I'll let you in."
Normally Hiroki wouldn't accept an offer like that, but he wasn't exactly rational right now. In his drunken mind, staying at Akihiko's was better than returning home.
"Thanks, Takahashi-kun. I owe you one."
"Ah, there's no need..."
And with that Misaki brought his feared professor home, not knowing what this chance encounter would start.