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'I swear on the walls.' You heaved a sigh as you watched the one and only Commander fucking Erwin, struggle to carry his food tray to the table, Hanji was right behind him, trying to offer assistance to her friend. but NOOOO.
he decided to be stubborn and insists on carrying it himself even though you could see his arm tremble at the weight of the tray along with the items it held. You know how truly strong Erwin is.
trust me.
but not being used to not having the support of two hands holding either edge was clearly a problem for the man and it was frustrating you. by this point you had already gave up on offering the man help as he was clearly set on dismissing it rather than admitting to struggling.
Levi, who sat at your left glanced at the two who were still arguing as they headed for the table, over his tea cup then side glanced you. "Frustrated?" though it was a question you just gave him a look, he knew you were. so why ask? but that's just Levi. pushing buttons without realising. though to be fair he probably was just trying to make conversation.
not being in the mood, you turned back to your own tray as the two finally took seats in front of you. your eyes scanned the food and you began to realise the sour attitude you had, had ruined you appetite, sighing frustrated again, gaining a look form your Commander. you stood and picked up your tray and glanced over at Levi's squad you sawdered over with your tray and placed it in between Sasha and Connie "fight amongst yourselves." you stated then coolly, stood straight and walked out of the hall, unintentionally slamming the large door behind you causing those that remained in the hall to flinch.
Erwin who had watched your every move furrowed his brows and tried his best to ignore the way you carried yourself. it was always something he noticed. the way you walked- hell, just moved in general was so intimidating yet endearing. that was what attracted his attention toward you out of all the cadets around you. then it was how you treated your superiors and though you were respectful, you weren't afraid to put even Levi in his place. and from then on the more you spoke with him the more you affected him. and it only got stronger as you were awarded the position of section commander, meaning you had to work more closely together and one thing happened that lead to the next and --
"Oi, Oi, Oi. Erwin." at the call of his name he blinked and realised he had been staring at the door since you left which was 3 minutes ago. he cleared his throat and turned to Levi, "Yes, Levi?" he mumbled out in a sigh. "if you want to talk to her then go. you know you want to and you staring at her like a puppy is damn annoying and not very slightly" Levi mumbled against the rim of his porcelain cup, eyes closed as he sipped at his tea. this made Erwin tense but he simply scoffed "No. if she feels the need to go in a huff let her." Hanji and Levi glanced at each other knowingly.
- Time Skip -
Soon it was curfew and Everyone was getting ready for bed, needing to get out of your room considering you hadn't left the damn place since your mini tantrum in the mess hall. you told Levi just to go and get some earned rest, though you knew he most likely wouldn't sleep regardless and said you would take over the Night duty. it was a simple task, simply scouting the area for at least an hour to make sure no one was sneaking out of their rooms or were up past their bed time. most either assumed it was still Levi and didn't bother even trying and others were just as scared as you as they were of Levi so the time went by rather quickly.
soon you were on your way back to your own room, giving you bones a small stretch, hearing a few crack and pop as you did. you sigh a little as it released some of the tension. not even paying mind to which door you were walking by. as if the big gold engraved letters didn't give it away. maybe you were too tired and were a bit out of it. but you were soon brought back when you heard a slight groan. you stopped in your tracks and took a few steps back before facing the door and realising where you were. automatically when you thought back on how familiar the groan was your cheeks flushed as you felt your face warm. you cleared your throat and turned back, ready to continue walking. it was none of your business and you really weren't in the mood to make it yours...like you normally would.
"Y/n? is that you?" the voice echoed slightly, you immediately knew that he was in his bathroom, how he heard and knew it was you seemed to be a complete mystery until you realised how many this had technically happened. however, not him in the bathroom. you debated ignoring him but you knew you couldn't so you sighed and pushed your h/c hair from your face and ran a hand through it. "yes Commander"
there was a short silence then he finally replied, his voice seeming in distress. you knew his game. "Erwin, no. I'm really not in the mood especially after today." you heard a sigh and a slight splash "Y/n. just come here." hesitating, you slowly grabbed a hold of the gold handle and twisted it, giving in as you walked in, seeing the bathroom door that was at the end of his office cracked open. you gulped, was he serious? he wanted to do this right now? as the embarrassment and shy side of you raised in your chest, making your heart race.
You wish you could say you hated the way your commander made you feel as it was so un usual and well- so un-- you.
you push the door open as your own e/c eyes meet with his bright blue eyes. he sat on the edge of the bath, towel wrapped around his hips. despite expecting to see the lustful look you have received on multiple occasions, you're met with a shy and slightly awkward smile, causing you to stare in confusion. "I uh-... I cant get in, I fear ill fall." he rubbed the back of his neck but doesn't drop the eye contact. you slowly relaxed and put your hands on your hips "admitting defeat are we?" he rolled his eyes "you're so petty." despite the slight insult his smile becomes softer but more confident and less shy. "well I admit that at least." you rolled you sleeves up of your long sleeved shirt after flinging your uniform jacket to the side.
seeing you were willing to help made the commander relax as he stood. you respectfully tried to avoid staring at his shoulder where the scar that appeared from having his arm bitten off sat, barely healed. instead as you walked over to the man, your eyes trailed the muscles of his back but you looked up the minute you realised his head turned to you.
you got close enough and immediately kept your head still as he dropped the towel without issue. your cheeks flushed again but you hoped ignoring it would make it go away before Erwin realised. your hands gripped at the mans waist as support while he used his other hand to grip the edge of the tub, pulling one of his legs over. as he lifted his other leg you tightened your grip so he didn't fall toward or backward from you. and carefully sunk into the water seeming to immediately relax. you rolled your sleeves back down after you were sure he was okay.
"well I guess I better get going." you mumbled but Erwin grabbed your hand gently, causing you to turn, a bit startled.
"please stay, id like some company."
you gave him a look. "commander-" "oh c'mon Y/n, Erwin is fine you know that." for what seemed to be the hundredth time your cheeks flushed. "E-Erwin-" he chuckles "its nothing to do with that...well actually-" you became slightly annoyed, he knew how to push you and he had been all day and now he was wanting to have sex? oh hell no. your not just there for him. as much as it was your choice to have it continue as well, you did it for a reason...
"Erwin, I know what we've been doing and don't get me wrong its been nice but you cant just.." you felt the anger rising so you quickly took a deep breath and hesitated "I think we need to stop because-" "I agree." despite it being your idea your heart seemed to shatter in your chest. he could just drop it like that? didn't it mean anything? as much as you weren't together, you thought you both at least had some sort of connection. oh how naïve you had been huh?
you scoff " of course.." you mumbled Erwin watched your expression shift as he agreed though he knew it wouldn't last long the sight hurt him deeply. that was a face he never wanted you to make especially not because of him. the expression of rejection. he knew it well... "because that's not everything I want now." you looked at him still seeming heartbroken. Erwin knew this was coming out of no where. he hadn't actually thought about it much but over the past year at the most his feelings of pure lust have branched out into something more and he only started to accept those new feelings when his...'performance' changed toward you. and seeing you so concerned today and so upset because you couldn't help, pushed him over the edge and he decided to accept what he felt.
"Listen, Y/n. I've been thinking. a lot. and I've finally realised its not the free sex or the sex in general that makes me so drawn to you. despite knowing how inappropriate it is for...us like this. you don't seem to care and even after we.." his own cheeks seemed to warm this time, cause you to stare, surprised as the usual calm Commander began to loose his cool. and around you of all people. "finish. you still seem to care and you treat me like I matter. I'm not just an object. and I hope you feel I treat you the same." he built the confidence to look at you, unsure where all this scripture was coming from. he hadn't planned this and yet he never seemed stuck for words toward you. your own heart began to rush and not from dread, you would know because that seems to be the only thing you feel nowadays...except when your with him. slowly you nod, almost in a trance as butterflies begin to cluster in the pit of your stomach. he smiled softly and held his hand out to you which you took, hesitantly.
"I want the full experience and I'm willing to pay whatever extra I have to in return." he joked, making you relax enough to push your own smile toward him.
"so, will you take me as yours if I take you as mine?.." slowly and carefully, you leaned forward. you stop just as the tips of your noses meet, your lips tremble wanting to push forward and finally link with his. you had kissed on multiple occasions as you could guess but they were lust driven, rough and greedy. this was different and you didn't want to ruin it. your eyes slowly fluttered close as you took the final stretch, pushing your lips to connect with his. he exhaled through his nose in almost relief. his eyes fluttered closed as you enjoyed the moment together.
Your heart calmed and everything seemed to fall into place. this kiss was soft and filled with pure emotions, you weren't sure if it was love yet but it was close. eventually you pulled away just enough and pressed your head together. after a small comfortable silence Erwin let out a small chuckle. "ill take that as a yes." a laugh erupted from your own throat as you pulled away properly "obviously."
you stood straight and smirked a little teasingly, "Now....Need a hand?" silence drifted over the two of you as you stared at each other. but suddenly, as if in unison you both began to laugh, completely relaxed now the thick blanket was lifted showing clarity between the two of you.
"too soon?"
"not at all.."