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They are fighting. Again.
Or rather, Yuki is having a one-sided yelling match with Nico, who brushes off every aggressive comment he makes, which only serves to further grate his nerves.
Is Nico even listening to him?
Yuki can’t even remember what he’s upset about. Was it about the smoking? The late nights spent working? The running? The way he’s skipping his meals?
It’s probably a combination of everything, past and present, because Nico hasn’t been smoking in a while – not since they started running in earnest. So why was he bringing it up again? There had to be a point to all of this. He just hadn’t quite figured it out yet.
Which tactic is he using today? Annoyed exclamations? Incredulous interjections? Brandishing his knowledge of the law with a large serving of his chances of winning if he sued him on the side?
Sure, Yuki is known for his notoriously short fuse, but he doesn’t recall getting anywhere near as worked up as he does with Nico when it’s with Haiji, or the twins – god, the twins are a handful, he thinks – or any of the other Aotake residents.
Yuki doesn’t know why he gets so riled up over the smallest of things, or why he can’t help himself from picking a fight with Nico, but here he is again, yelling in his room.
“Yuki…”
Nico is pinching the bridge of his nose, brows knitted, and Yuki thinks, right, this must be when Nico has absolutely had enough of him. He’s had enough of the “It stinks!”, the “If I sue you, I’ll have a 100 per cent chance of winning” and the “You must be kidding me”s.
The thing is that Yuki has never really been truly upset with Nico. And for a moment, he’s afraid that Nico might genuinely be tired of him, and his stomach lurches uncomfortably.
Yet, he continues to run his mouth anyway, angry because he can’t understand why Nico continues to do things that do not make sense, things that are detrimental to his body, things that are unkind to himself when he is easily one of the kindest people Yuki has ever met.
He knows this because as abrasive as he has been, it is Nico who has always truly understood him in ways that no one else has. From the minute he stepped through those doors of Aotake and Nico’s warm brown eyes had taken in all of his nerdy haircut, uncertain gaze, and terrible fashion sense, Yuki had the strangest gut feeling about this man – one that slowly unfurled over the next few years to bloom into something he never thought he’d have.
An understanding look. A knowing smile. An inside joke. A solid, safe, reassuring presence.
And then he’s poking his head into every space that Nico occupies, seeking him out, searching for him, interested in anything and everything that he’s doing… simply because he cannot help himself.
Perhaps his outbursts with Nico are earnest attempts at hiding his embarrassment. It is certainly somewhat embarrassing just how much and how highly he thinks of his senpai. As a friend, of course. Yuki has never been good with affection, anyway. One need only look to his relationship with his mother for evidence.
Over the years, he’s gotten to know all the sides of Nico as intimately as he knows the brand of cigarette he likes – liked – to smoke just from the way it smells, or whether he’s tired or inspired by the rhythm of the clacking of keys as he works on his computer. He’s even seen Nico when he’s drooling over his desk after a long night’s work.
Nico once told him that he’s “too sensitive” when he had been complaining about the cigarette smoke wafting into his room, but that’s exactly it. Yuki is too sensitive – to everything concerning him in particular.
“You said something to Haiji,” Nico says, more a statement than a question. Yuki has a good idea of what he’s referring to. Knowing Haiji, he must’ve come up with a scheme to get Nico to eat after their chat in the sauna.
“What, do you think I’m nosy now or something?” Yuki says defensively. “Anyone would have been able to tell something’s up with how weird you’ve been acting.”
“I’m not saying – ”
“Why would you listen to Kakeru anyway? You hardly listen to half the shit I say and just do whatever the hell you want, like smoking all the god damn time and running and working late into the night.”
Yuki has flashes of memories from the last few years where he wakes up to a blanket draped over his shoulders, of big, strong arms catching him as he dozes off mid-study and tips over to the side, of large, cheeky grins and deep guffaws… memories of Nico that are somehow surfacing at this very moment.
“Yuki, would you just listen – ”
But Yuki won’t stop. He can’t. Because if he stops, he doesn’t know what Nico would say. He keeps yelling, beyond caring if the rest of Aotake can hear them because it’s terrifying to think if…
“God damn it, Yuki, will you just shut up for a second?!”
“No! Because you never know when to stop,” he says, pointing an accusatory finger at Nico. “It’s the same with the smoking, the freelance work, and now the – ”
Nico grabs him by the wrist, and Yuki is about to retaliate, to give him a piece of his mind, but Nico pulls him forward, straight into a kiss.
Yuki makes a startled sound when he feels soft lips press against his own, Nico’s stubble rough against his cheek and chin. He feels all the blood rushing to his face – in addition to all the air rushing out of his lungs – and finally, for the first time since he stormed into Nico’s room that evening, Yuki is quiet.
Nico releases his hold on his wrist, the hand sliding down the length of his arm, lips still pressed gently to his. Nico smells nice and feels nice, and Yuki realises now that each time he barges into his room, he’s seeking out that warmth, that scent, and the way that Nico looks at him.
Just him.
For someone who passed the bar exam in his third year with a single try, Yuki realises that he’s being awfully slow to his own feelings.
“I’ll know because I have you to remind me to stop,” Nico whispers as he draws back, “just like you always do. Because you care. More than anyone else.”
Yuki blinks at him – once, twice – before he starts to hiccup.
Nico knows.
Of course he does.
“Senpai, I – hic – I mean, I – hic – ” Yuki quickly brings his hands over his mouth, embarrassed that he can’t seem to stop hiccuping.
Nico is also starting to turn red, the full reality of what he’d just done finally sinking in.
“At least you’ve stopped yelling,” he mumbles, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “I just… Well, I just wanted to say thank you – for… for whatever you said to Haiji.”
Their eyes meet and Nico immediately looks away. “I’ll, uh, I’m going to get you some water.”
“Good – hic – idea,” Yuki manages to say.
As soon as Nico steps out of the room, Yuki sinks to the ground, heart racing, face warm. His skin is tingling with the memory of Nico’s touch.
Next time, he thinks as he takes a deep breath, letting his eyes drift shut as he tries to settle his heart. Next time when he barges into Nico’s room, he’ll be ready. He’ll be ready, and maybe he’ll return that kiss, too.