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Hold me close

Summary:

Sometimes all it takes is someone to look at us and see us, see behind the fake mask we put up, see underneath the underneath and our lives might become something more than living hell.
I think someone like this was really REALLY needed in Konoha.
This story is going to be a fix it of sorts but if will be gradual, I've tried to make it a little believable too.

Though Naruto ended on a happy note and Boruto has almost grown up now ( with Sasuke as sensei! Who would have thought?!), I'm still heartbroken over many a things. This is a small, teeny tiny attempt at redrawing somethings in Naruto universe.

Hope you guys like it.. it's a first try so please tell me any suggestions or corrections.

Lastly, I don't own Naruto. If I did, well, Minato and Kushina would be alive, Naruto would have had sooo many people cuddling him he'd be spoilt rotten...and well my manga wouldn't have sold at all😅

Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Cold seeped through the palm of his hand. Deep into his bones, deep deep into his heart. His heart which was already frozen. Three years ago. When he had last seen his sensei's just about to become a father, excited, nervous and oh so HAPPY smile just to, hours later, see it on a photograph atop his coffin and realised that he'd never get to bask in its warmth ever again.

 

He could feel the now familiar pain that came along with these thoughts. He could feel the wetness behind his closed eyelids. The tremble in his hands. He could feel. He was alive. He needed this reminder every now and then. 

 

He took off his hand from the ice cold memorial stone where his fingers were unconsciously tracing his sensei's name. Minato Namikaze. This was all  what was left of his sensei now. A name on a cold grey stone. Or so the shinobi deluded himself into thinking...refusing refusing refusing to think of a familiar pair of blue eyes and yellow hair on a toddler.

 

A masked ANBU was standing behind him.

"Hokage sama has sent summon for you."  

 

What now? What for? He'd just returned from an SSS ranked mission...one of the sorts which even seasoned ANBU hesitate to take on. But he seemed to have taken a liking for them. "He's reckless" they say. "Getting too cocky, that brat" they say. But what was he supposed to do when he couldn't get an ounce of sleep unless he wore his mind and body down to the core? And if in doing that, he was saving his comrades from seeing and doing things that would break, nay shatter, them..well that's good right? As for him, well, Kakashi Hatake had nothing left inside him that could further be broken.

 

Shaking himself from such thoughts, he frowned slightly at the ANBU. Wondering why the Hokage was calling him. He was really drained. But such missions tend to shake you up even if your own village calls you a "friend killer". Hence his visit to the stone. His need to remind himself the words of his dead sensei who looked at him and saw just plain good. 

"I'll be there." he nodded at the masked shinobi, who disappeared with a small flicker of chakra.

 

Kakashi sighed. His breath would have been visible if not for the mask. A small memory of his fool of a teammate running towards them in Konoha's chilly morning, an hour later than decided, small huffs of visible air coming from his mouth, his mouth that was in a wide grin...came to Kakashi. He blinked. Fisted his hand. Ghosts of past were not helping when he was anxious about what was coming in the next few minutes.  

 

Putting on his Dog mask, he shunshined right into the Hokage's office and bent low.

"You summoned me, Hokage sama?" 

 

The gnarled old man in white robes and red hat looked far more regal than anyone had the right to at this hour of a winter night. His eyes were as intelligent as ever. But Kakashi could clearly see the strain, the fatigue too. 

"Yes Inu. Stand up. My apologies for calling you so soon after your last mission, which was performed perfectly, I must say. The village and I are both thankful to your services but myself and your commander are both worried about you." The Sandaime stopped him before he could interrupt. He didn't deserve their worry. He was alright. Really. The Hokage wanted him to revert back to a jounin. A jounin sensei, precisely. To take on a team, teach kids. Ha! That was a joke! Didn't they know he was made to work alone? That everything, everyone near him..everyone he considered HIS ANYTHING tended to die? And if he knew anything about kids..well he'd rather be looking after a certain blonde three year old than wet behind the ear genins. 

 

The Hokage continued "...and so we have assigned you a team. And no, don't worry it's not a genin team..." he said reading the slight change in the tension in Kakashi's shoulders as exasperated disapproval "...You are to be assigned an ANBU team of 3 and you are going to be their captain." 

 

The last Hatake could only blink as his leader laid three files before him. " Tomorrow you will be introduced to your new teammates. Till then do go through their files. They're an interesting bunch. And reat well." 

 

Hearing the dismissal, Kakashi mechanically lifted the files from the desk and left in a flurry of leaves.  A team. An ANBU team. Okay so as Kakashi is so obviously incapable of being anywhere near children, a team of deadly killers is fine. Okay. Sure. He had a team now. People he was responsible for. People that were his responsibility. HIS PEOPLE.  Swallowing the lump of fear in his throat, he read the names.

Tenzou 

Uchiha Itachi 

Nakamura Aoi. 

 

 

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The apartment's door creaked open. Three folders in hand, Kakashi flickered the light on and sighed heavily as he sat on the couch. This was why he liked entering through windows. He'd grown tired of opening door to an empty, cold home. Preparing for another sleepless night, he opened the first file.

 

Tenzou. Previously known as Kinoe.

Age -16

Special ability - Mokutun 

His eyes grew wide as he read the word "Mokutun". Mokutun or wood release was the Shodaime's special strength..never seen in anyone else. Even in the last remaining Senju! Was there some secret Senju still alive? The Shodai's relative probably? Was he living anonymously for some reason? He got his answers as he read further...which definitey chilled him to the bones. 

History - One of Orochimaru's experiments. Rescued from his base during a raid one year ago. 

The Hatake took a deep breath. This person certainly had a great power...but at what cost? He hadn't yet met his teammates and was already unsure of how to deal with them. Gathering his confidence and praying for some little bit of normalcy in life..he opened the next file. 

 

Uchiha Itachi 

Age - 10 

Special ability - Genjutsu. Very high IQ. The Sharingan with mastery over it  

History - Academy graduation at 6 years                                     Chunin at 7 years                                                             Jounin at 9 years 

He let out a dry laugh. A kid! This was a freaking kid!!! A 10 year old in ANBU?!!! Kakashi was getting a headache now. Anybody else in his place would have been over the moon for getting a prodigy in their team but having been a young genius himself, Kakashi knew that this must be either a very overconfident child who couldn't help belittle others or a broken broken person. He hoped it was the former. And to top it off...wasn't the Uchiha heir a 10 year old kid? Was this the Uchiha heir? Oh great. Now he was not just responsible for a small child..but also the heir of a huge clan. "A clan who hated him fiercely"..Kakashi thought morosely. 

This was also the child his Kushina-nee used to adore so much...Mikoto-san's son.

Memories have bad timing of popping up, dont they? He thought as he snapped the second file shut. The Sandaime must have a sick sense of humor...putting the most messed up shinobi in one team. Ha!

The last one lay on his table, challenging him to open it. Nakamura Aoi. 

Aoi. 

His first friend Aoi. 

Long forgotten memories of deep deep blue eyes, wind swept black hair and a pearly smile on a cherubic face came to his mind uninvitedly. Unwillingly. As though the years, the efforts put in forgetting them were all for none. Childish laughter filled his ears the way it used to fill his silent home all those years ago..and brought a smile to his lips just like it did all those years ago. The only times he used to smile...after his father...you know. 

People have left him so many times in his short life. Died. Wiped out from existence. There one second...and in the next...just gone. But this was the one who had just plain left. Not died. Just left. 

And that had hurt. That had hurt so bad. 

They were kids back then. Merely 7 or 8 years old. And she had become his only support, his safe place after his father had left him behind in his blood and his disgrace. And then, she was gone too. With no word. No warning, no goodbye. They had trained one warm evening, had shared taijutsu tips and laughs while eating dango and went their seperate ways. The next day he heard that the Nakamura couple had died. Was killed. Nobody knew what happened to Aoi. Nobody was much concerned either.  

He didn't know what to do. Had never felt so alone, so lost since Sakumo Hatake committed seppuku.  He asked people, he yelled, he begged the Uchiha police to look for a blue eyed, raven haired girl. But nobody listened. No one. People wanted nothing to do with the traitor's son. The police, he still doesn't know why, were particularly unconcerned. 

Was she dead? She couldn't be dead, could she? Why?!! 

That was the day he gave up on finding friends. Finding comfort. Instead focussed on being a strong shinobi. He graduated that year. Stuck to the rules. Did everything right. Tried not to get attached to anyone. 

Obviously, he failed. If his so very frequent visits to the memorial stone are anything to go by. 

Never did he give up on searching for her. Never. And here she was. Right under his nose. An ANBU dammit! Since when?! How?!! She wasn't in the academy since that fateful day, and neither did he see her in the chunin exams. Then how? 

Kakashi didn't know whether to hound her with these questions when he met her, enquire where the fuck she has been all these years or strangle her for making him think he had lost her forever too, for never contacting him. 

He ignored the small part of him who wanted to curl up and cry, to hold her hand and make her promise not to..oh please not to scare him like that. That he had had enough of his people leaving and he was Oh so happy to see her again and....

He cut that train before it got any further. They were not the same small kids of his past. They'd grown up. He had changed. A lot. He didn't know what to expect when he saw her again. But the person, the ANBU he was to meet tomorrow would definitely not be the smiling blue eyed girl from his childhood. 

 

Cursing his luck, he checked the clock. There was still time for him to catch a nap. He desperately needed sleep. As he tried to lull his brain to sleep while calming his nerves, Kakashi decidedly ignored the fact that his frozen heart was unfurling its wings for the first time in years. 

To quote the Naras, "Tomorrow was going to be troublesome."

 

 

 

 

Notes:

So..in the next chapter..Kakshi's gonna meet his team, and Aoi. Till now, Kakashi just considers Aoi a past friend who disappeared and has mysteriously come back. Stay tuned to find more about Aoi's past and how things develop further!

As I said..I'm a first time writer. So any reviews, criticisms, suggestions are most welcome!

Thanks for reading, guys❤

Chapter 3: Chapter 3

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

 

She watched. 

Silent as a shadow, still as a rock, chakra suppressed and breath held, she watched as the white haired shinobi rubbed his gloved hand over and over the memorial stone. Lost. Alone. So very alone. Him being here was in no way a novelty. What was different was the bone deep tiredness that accompanied the grief which seemed to blanket him forever. 

 

The Anbu uniform and the odd time of this visit made it clear he had just returned from a mission. A mission that went bad probably. Not for the village. No. Because Hatake Kakashi would rather slice his own throat with a blunt kunai before failing any mission...before repeating his father's mistakes. 

But deny as he (and anyone else) might, he still had his humanity, his heart. A mission branded "successfully completed" in the roster can also have successfully destroyed a shinobi's heart, faith and psyche. Ha. Didn't she know it!  

She watched the plethora of emotions play on his masked face, feeling like an intruder and yet not.

She watched as he disappeared silently, a promise of "I'll be back soon" in his eyes as he stared one last time at what was left of his family, his pack. 

 

And only then..after she couldn't see, hear, smell, feel him anywhere within the one mile radius, did she step out. Let out a long and heavy exhale and slowly walked to the same place he had been standing. Traced the same name he had been tracing. 

Namikaze Minato.

 

A feeling of deep gratitude welled within her. This was the man who had been her saving grace once. A shinobi she respected like no one else. A Kage who didn't lose the sight of the Good, the Truth amidst the murky waters of village politics. One who knew what had to be done and wasn't bloody afraid of doing it. A gem Konoha lost far too early. And left behind was a broken village and a heartbroken young man.

It's time to step out of the shadows Yondaime sama. It's time I stopped just watching. I...I'm afraid sir. I'm afraid I've forgotten how to be in the light. How to live above the ground. But grant me strength for I am beginning a new chapter of my life. Things are not very good in the village sir but I promise to try my best at watching over what was precious to you. It's the least I can do for you. Please keep watching over us. 

She bowed deeply, respectfully at the waist and walked out of the graveyard. The freezing wind pulled at her locks and she suppressed a shiver. Cupping her palms and blowing into them...she allowed herself to get lost in the silence of the night. How eerie. How peaceful. 

Her inner musings were abruptly brought to a halt by the sudden sound of a garbage can tumbling down in an alleyway near her. Must be a cat or something she sighed, peeping into the narrow lane only to be greeted with small legs hanging out of a garbage bin. A kid. What was a kid doing scourging garbage in the middle of a winter night?! 

"Hello? Hey kid? What's going on here?" 

She tried to keep her voice gentle as she stepped closer. Still, the child, who could not be more than 4 years old startled badly and whipped around to look at her. Wide wide blue eyes stared at her with surprise which gave way to ice cold fear.

 

A lone breeze passed through the alley. Time stood still. Distantly, she was aware of the heart lodged in her throat. Distantly, she was aware of her shaking hands and her own heartbeat thumping louder than ever. She couldn't care less about that. Couldn't care less about the whole damn world when right before her eyes was the ghost of the man whose grave she had just visited. 

No. Something was wrong. Something was terribly terribly wrong here. Yellow hair falling into sky blue eyes, eyes which were still staring at her fearfully, like..like she could harm him...a part of her died that moment. An instinct to rid him of that look...of that fear overtook her and she took a small step towards the frightened child only for him to rush back, scampering away like a terrified animal towards the back wall of the alley. 

Icy hands gripped her heart. A sob threatened to choke her. No. No. Please. 

She lowered herself to the ground and held her hands towards him.  Softly, in a voice no louder than a whisper said "Hey. I'm not here to hurt you. I..I promise. What'syour name?" The child was watching her with wary eyes. He was holding something to his chest, hands clasped tightly around it as if a treasure.  It was a half eaten apple. 

Burning. Her eyes were burning now. Trying another tactic, she reached inside her pocket, very much trying to ignore how the kid flinched, and took out a rations bar. Holding it out , she tried again..

" I know you're hungry. Come on, it's good you know! All the strong ninjas eat it on missions! You want to be a strong ninja right?" 

Now almost every kid in hidden villages grew up wanting to throw kunais and rescue princesses, so it was a gamble...but one that worked. His stomach grumbled. Still wary, and clutching the brown apple...he slowly approached her. As he came into light, she was sure sure sure that this was not her imagination. Not her brain trying to mess with her by bringing people long gone back to life.

This really was His son. His legacy...who was wandering the streets of the village his father Ruled in the middle of a winter night in torn clothes, hungry, looking for food in the fucking dumpster! A burning, all consuming anger was kindling within her. One that rivaled half of her heritage. Where were his guards? His guardians? What the fuck was the Sandaime DOING?! If she had any doubts left they fled the moment the lad said, 

"I'm Uzumaki Nawuto, dattebayo!" in a voice loud enough to almost mask how it trembled. Almost. 

Memories of another Uzumaki, red hair, concerned eyes, warm food, loud cheerful voice and DATTEBANE! came with such vigor, she gasped. And then she smiled. Smiled like she hadn't in years. Smiled like she was a blind man seeing the sun for the first time.

And seeing her smile the way nobody, not even the old man with the weird hat did, at him.. little Naruto once again stared wide eyed at her. But this time it was awe that filled them. Wonder. Surprise that somebody could, would spare him a warm smile. And damn if that idea didn't hurt. She hastily unwrapped the bar and handed it to him. Not once in her career as a kunoichi had she seen anyone actually enjoy a dull, ordinary rations bar but this child, this child feasted on it like it was a treat. 

...that's when she saw the whisker marks under all the grime.

Demon brat, whiskered monster...it was not possible to live in Konoha and not hear these words. And though it had been just 3 weeks since she returned to the village, the picture was clear now. 

The Kyubi attack, Yondaime's sacrifice, a new Jinchuriki. Though she had been on an extended mission since before that horrible horrible night and was just returning, it seemed that most of the absolute morons in this village had failed to understand exactly who the new Jinchuriki, the demon brat was.  

Once again she was interrupted from her thoughts as the kid..no..Naruto. As Naruto stared at her almost hopefully. With a smile she handed him another bar and was greeted with a wide, happy grin. 

"Arigatou neechan! This is weally yummy dattebayo!" He almost yelled and she laughed at his enthusiasm. It felt weird. Laughing. 

"What are you doing here Naruto-kun? Why aren't you at the orphanage?" She asked 

"The mean lady said to stay outside. It's a punishment but I swear that Shin broke the plate! It wasn't me! I pwomise!" 

Since when did orphanage matrons send 3 year olds out to starve in the cold for breaking plates? As she stared at the too thin blonde child who couldn't yet pronounce his "r" correctly and had the smile like a thousand suns, she made a decision. 

And fully aware that she might get into huge trouble for this but never ever regret it, she stood and offered her hand to the little boy " Ne Naruto kun, I'm pretty hungry and was going to make some okonomiyaki...would you like some?" 

She held her breath as the boy eyed her warily, looking so confused and so lost..but then maybe he saw something in her smile, in her eyes that made him do it...but as he placed his small hand in hers, she couldn't help recalling her promise to the fourth hokage she just made....

 

I promise to try my best at watching over what was precious to you.

 

 

 

Notes:

This was kinda long😅 But I couldn't stop writing once I began! Hope you guys like it and please please leave reviews. I feel like I'm driving in the dark without headlights!

Again, this was a bit emotional I think but now there are things like How was Aoi connected to Minato? Where was she for the last 4 or so years? And who exactly is Aoi? Stay tuned to find out😉

And thanks for reading it guys❤