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Sakuya really is an angel.
Even though Taichi was originally a spy for MANKAI Company, nearly ruining Autumn Troupe’s debut performance. He expected to be hated, even despised, by some of the members. Especially by Sakuya, MANKAI Company’s first member. Taichi thought that Sakuya would hate him for nearly destroying the company, Sakuya’s only home. He sought out to destroy MANKAI Company while Sakuya was the one who tried to save it.
That is why he avoided Sakuya throughout the beginning. Every time Taichi sees Sakuya, his heart aches and he can’t help but feel guilty for what he did. Watching the reruns of Romeo and Julius and seeing Sakuya act on stage… Taichi can’t compare to him.
While Sakuya earned his place to be on stage, Taichi can’t help but feel like he cheated his way to be here.
The only reason why Taichi managed to stay in MANKAI Company was because this company was desperate, weren’t they? Everything about him is fake, all these friendships are fake. He was just a spy to bring down MANKAI. Writing the letters, destroying the costumes, hiding the props… Asking for forgiveness isn’t enough to help bury the guilt.
“It’s GODza’s fault, not yours. He made you do it,” they’ll say but Taichi was the one who agreed to it. It was only a contract, a suggestion, a deal that Taichi could’ve denied and backed out of. The deal was that as long Taichi brings down MANKAI Company from rising, then he would have a place in the main cast. No matter how much he tried to find another reason, in the end, it was his fault.
Thinking about it more, it would’ve lasted short. Maybe only for one performance. Maybe Reni would back out of the deal and said he lied, or hire someone to injure Taichi so that he can’t act again and pretend it’s all an accident. Maybe something like that.
Sakuya, on the other hand, didn’t try to cheat his way. When there’s a performance for Spring Troupe, he practices hours in the training room, and when there’s free time, he practices hours by the river. The way Sakuya’s eyes spark every time he gets a chance to act, putting all his passion into it. It was hard to look away. And, here Taichi was, trying to ruin someone’s shine to outshine them.
It’s ironic how Sakuya decided to date Taichi instead of hate him. When Sakuya confronted him about how Taichi was being distant was where it all started. Sakuya continued sticking around with Taichi, with simple conversation starters and questions. They eventually began to hang out more with each other, helping each other out with their studies and taking care of each other after practice, which eventually turned into dating.
“You practiced hard too, didn’t you?” Sakuya asks, pulling a strand of hair behind his ear. There was a wide grin on his face, a light blush dusted on his cheeks, and a perfectly angled ray of light shining above him. All Taichi had to do now was imagine the wings. “You said that you always audition for roles back then. Doesn’t that mean you practiced for those as well?”
They were by the river where Sakuya normally practices whenever he wasn’t busy with acting, holding a script that he borrowed from a nearby library. From time to time, Taichi would join in with the act, but today he didn’t. Instead, he lies on the grass with Sakuya.
“Yeah, I did,” Taichi answers, tilting his head to stare at the sky. “But, I never got any further than just playing extra roles. I don’t deserve to be part of Autumn Troupe, let alone MANKAI Company. If I wanted to be part of a main cast, I shouldn’t cheat my way there.”
Sakuya hums, affirmatively. “Yeah, you shouldn’t cheat…” he mumbles pouting before giving a small smile. “But, all that matters is that you’ve acknowledged your mistakes and are learning from them, right? That’s the first step to change and forgiveness.” Sakuya places a hand on Taichi’s head, ruffling his hair, and a light blush forms on Taichi’s cheeks. “I think you do deserve to be part of MANKAI Company. You worked hard to be here, didn’t you? You worked really hard to play as Benjamin in Autumn Troupe’s debut performance.”
Taichi sighs. “But, I also ruined the props and costumes… Yuki worked hard on those costumes,” he mumbles.
“Do you want to stay in MANKAI Company?” Sakuya asks, bluntly. He sat up straight to look at Taichi more clearly and there was a serious expression on his face. After ten seconds of silence, he repeated the question. “Do you want to stay in MANKAI Company?”
Taichi frowns. MANKAI Company was the one who helped him shine on stage. He rolled his body to face Sakuya. “Of course, I do, but—”
“Then, stay.”
It was as simple as that. MANKAI Company gave Taichi a second chance to stay. If they didn’t forgive him, they wouldn’t have. All Taichi had left to do was to forgive himself. It may take awhile, but Sakuya promises to be there by his side for every step of the way. Taichi may have not realized it but Sakuya admires him because despite anything that’s thrown at him, he still persists through.
Sakuya always wondered why, in Autumn Troupe’s debut play, Tsuzuru wrote Benjamin for Taichi, but he could see why now. Both Taichi and Benjamin, despite their circumstances, try to push through the toughest of times, putting on a smile to show their okay despite it all. Sakuya found it admirable.
Sakuya lies back down next to him, a bit closer than last time, where his breath would hit Taichi’s neck. Taichi could tell from it that he was falling asleep. Veludo Way is warm and quiet outside despite still being winter. Taichi might fall asleep with him with how relaxing it was. Being near Sakuya was comforting, easing away his worries. Taichi grabs Sakuya’s hand, who squeezes his hand as a response like he was silently saying that he’s still there.
Sakuya is like the embodiment of “everything will be alright.” He really is an angel.